Tuesday, December 30, 2008

2008 $tevie Awards

Good Morning Ladies & Gentlemen,

Well, we've come to the end of 2008. It's been a fun and exciting ride…but now we must move on to 2009. Sure, 2009 doesn't have an Olympics…or a Presidential Election…or anything like that…but still, it should be pretty awesome. Last night, I spent the evening unpacking from my trip to Utah…and then repacking with clean clothes for flying to Vegas tonight. Bubbles is super excited…as am I. We talked briefly last night…because we were both exhausted from our vacations last week (her family in San Diego) and early days at work. We're rested up now though…so it's gonna be a fun time. Anyway, I'll let you know how it goes when I'm back next week. Until then, here's some news…and stay tuned for the 2nd Annual $tevie Awards.

Cobain Guitar - A smashed guitar from the late grunge rocker Kurt Cobain has been sold to an unidentified private collector for $100,000. Helen Hall, a broker in England, says it's the second-highest known price for an item of Cobain memorabilia. The seller was punk rocker Sluggo (goes only by that name) of The Grannies and Hullabaloo. The sale was confirmed Tuesday by Jacob McMurray, senior curator at the Experience Music Project in Seattle, where the taped-up Fender Mustang guitar in sunburst finish was displayed for a time. "It's a really cool-looking guitar because it's smashed and held together with duct tape and Kurt Cobain wrote on it," McMurray said. Sluggo said he traded a working guitar for the smashed one during the first U.S. tour of Cobain's band, Nirvana. McMurray said Nirvana, living hand-to-mouth, was on a tour in New Jersey when Cobain smashed the guitar on stage and went looking for one to play at his next gig. The swap was made while Cobain was staying at the apartment of Sluggo and Sluggo's girlfriend, McMurray said. He said he hoped the buyer would allow the instrument to return to Seattle for a Cobain exhibit he is preparing for 2010. "There's not a huge amount of broken Nirvana guitars out there," McMurray said, adding that most amount to "little slivers and fragments." A news release from Hall said the highest price paid for a piece of Cobain memorabilia was $131,000 at a 2006 auction for his Mosrite Gospel Mark IV guitar. In related news, Courtney Love is still alive and well somehow. Seriously? $100,000 for a broken guitar. I don't care if it's the guitar that Jimi Hendrix set on fire…or guitar that Elvis broke trying to crack a coconut on the set of "Blue Hawaii" if it doesn't work, why would you pay that much? It's not the Liberty Bell. Say what you will about Kurt Cobain as a talented poet (HA!!! How can you tell? Nobody knows what he's mumbling into the microphone) and rocker…but he's not exactly Ernest Hemingway…or Van Gogh…maybe a Picasso of sound…but only because you listen to it…and you think, "Hmm, I wonder what he's trying to say there. Something about raping a mosquito? That's deep." I don't know. I obviously wouldn't have spent that money…but I hope that the unidentified private collector (Satan?) isn't suffering from post-Holiday Buyers' Remorse.

Jesus is Born - Virgin Mary, a 20-year-old Peruvian woman, gave birth to a baby boy on Christmas day and named him Jesus, Peru's state news agency said on Friday. The baby's father, 24-year old Adolfo Jorge Huamani is a carpenter. Religious Peruvians compared him to Joseph the Carpenter in the Bible. "Two thousand years later the story of Bethlehem is relived," read the headline about the birth in El Comercio, the main newspaper in Peru, a predominantly Catholic country. The mother, Virgen Maria Huarcaya, delivered the 7.7 pound (3.5 kg) boy, Jesus Emanuel, in the early hours of Christmas at the central maternity hospital in Lima, the capital. The father confessed, "A few days ago we had decided to name my son after a professional soccer player…but thanks to a happy coincidence this is how things ended up." Well, happy birthday Jesus!!! Too bad your dad's name is Adolf. I thought that name had died out years ago.

Gilligan's Island Movie - "Gilligan's Island" creator Sherwood Schwartz and his son Lloyd are moving ahead with a big screen version of the classic sitcom reports TV Guide. The pair are after "Superbad" and "Juno" star Michael Cera to don the famous red shirt and white hat as Gilligan, and Beyonce Knowles to play sexy movie star Ginger. Sherwood says the deal "Just happened in the last 48 hours. I can't take this much excitement at my age." No production schedule or further cast/crew involvement has yet been announced…but feel free to throw your own speculation into the blogosphere. I'm sure the question on everybody's mind though…is who's going to be Mary Ann? And will she & Ginger FINALLY get into a sexy catfight on the beach?

Good Riddance Day - Should auld acquaintance be forgot? Or maybe shredded? In an event that organizers hope will become a New Year's tradition, New Yorkers and tourists were invited to bring bad memories from 2008 to Times Square on Sunday and feed them to an industrial-strength shredder. "This is the perfect way to move on from a bad year, from a bad experience," said Kathryn Bonn, of New York City, who shredded a printout of her boyfriend's e-mail breaking up with her. (By the way, breaking up by email? Classy.) The event, the second annual "Good Riddance Day," was sponsored by the Times Square Alliance, organizers of the New Year's Eve ball-dropping celebration. Some participants wrote "the stock market" or "cancer" on a piece of paper and shredded it, while others shredded bags of bank statements and check stubs. Kate Anello, a Yankees fan from New York City, destroyed a poster of the city's longtime rival, the Boston Red Sox. "I hate them. It felt good." City resident Jay Ballesteros won a $250 prize for the most creative object to be shredded: a sock representing all the socks that emerge from the laundry without their mates. "I'm hoping to use the prize to buy some brand new socks." Hmm, what would you throw in the shredder to cleanse yourself of 2008? I could've really used one of those when I was moving out of my old apartment. Maybe a print-out of my 401k activity. Maybe a Bush/Cheney bumper sticker or something. I don't know. Thoughts? Throw them in my Comment Shredder!!! BE GONE, DEMON!!!

The 2008 $tevies

Back by popular demand, it's the 2nd Annual $tevie Awards…with your host, $teve. Based on something sent to my MySpace account last year. By the way, just because you're not mentioned in the Stevies doesn't mean that I don't care about you. It's simply some stupid stuff that I threw together to kind of sum up the year…and feel free to check out the numerous links to past entries to keep yourself entertained while I’m gone. So without further ado, this year's winners are...

DRINKING BUDDY OF THE YEAR: Bubbles - Two-time winner of this award. Even her moving to Las Vegas couldn't stop us from getting drunk together…let's see…four times in Vegas & twice in Utah since she moved in March...and I'm going to Vegas for New Year's Eve. An honorable mention goes to JL Clyde, who shares my love for Rum & Coke Slurpees.

LIFETIME SERVICE AWARD (longest friend): Isaihia - Another two-time winner, who got married a few months ago and has been down since the 2nd grade. How many people can say that? Honorable mention here goes to his little brother Spitsofrantic who's been a friend just about as long.

NEWCOMER AWARD: Lilie - Honestly, I don't think we had ever really talked before 2008, other than a few BS passing-the-time conversations…and now we write epic emails and stories for one another…and in keeping suit with past winners, just in time to become friends…she moves away to California. It's okay though…because I moved to Denver.

HIGH POINT OF THE YEAR: Going Away Party - So many to choose from. Week vacation to San Diego with the Wingmans, multiple tripgasms to Vegas, weekend in Seattle, two-week road trip with my mom (including Denver prequel), getting a new job in Denver, my birthday at Chuck E. Cheese, thanksgiving with the family at my new place, my buddy getting married, helping Bubbles & Filly move and further their careers & lives, and even my nephew Vinny being born to start it all off…but it was a sad splendor when it all kind of culminated in a fantastic celebration of all the year's trials & victories coming together with my friends & family and just having a badass fun time. Big thanks again to Boss Man B for hosting it all…and for everybody that showed up.

LOW POINT OF THE YEAR: Day of Infamy - There were a few inconveniences along the way this year, like driving through blizzards on the way to San Diego & to help Filly move, my brother & sister-in-law's hormonal cycles, the perpetual purgatory that is trying to get a good job in Vegas in these economic times (six months worth of entries), having a job offer rescinded because…well, it just was (and eventually reoffered), but I chose the Day of Infamy…because it was the beginning of the end…but also helped a lot of people to…basically push them out the door and into the next step of their careers. I mean…JJ, Bubbles, Filly, Amelia, Lilie, Heater, B, even myself and countless others have moved on from that call center job and into something more fulfilling (though maybe not as financially fulfilling in some cases) and are better for it. It's one of those horrible things that bring out the best in people, I guess. Anyway, that's how I see it…and why it gets an award.

BEST HOLIDAY: Christmas - Another repeat winner. Thanksgiving was awesome with my mom & the kids coming out to visit…but Christmas was awesome…and the Eagles made the playoffs...and I'm looking forward to New Year's in Las Vegas, possible winner for next year's $tevie Awards.

SONG FOR 2008: "No One" by Alicia Keys - To be honest, I don't think that I bought a CD this year…and though I like ditties that I've heard from John Legend and a few others, nothing really grabbed me. Akon had a few good tracks…and Ingrid Michaelson might've won…but "The Way I Am" was late last year…so it goes to Miss Keys and this soulful track with a good baseline. By the way, did I mention that I saw Ingrid Michaelson in concert AND Al Green? Because I did...

MOVIE FOR 2008: The Dark Knight - You can't beat Batman. Don't even try. It was an awesome movie from a comic book nerd perspective…and a cinematic storyline angle…and it was just fun & entertaining. Iron Man gets a nod…but even Kung Fu Pandas & a much-Wanted pistol-packing Angelina couldn't top Batman. I'd do a Movie List for Movies of 2008…but I'd rather not put forth the effort right now. Maybe when Awards Season rolls around.

VIDEO GAME FOR 2008: Rock Band - Yet another two-time winner. Rock Band parties were aplenty this past year and Rock Band 2 is merely a continuation of the same. So much fun…because it's Guitar Hero…with a dash of Karaoke…and the great anger release method of banging on drums COMBINED with some of the catchiest songs in the word. I still occasionally get that "Still Alive" song stuck in my head.

TV SHOW FOR 2008: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia - All the cool cats agree. Dee, Dennis, Mac, Charlie, & Frank are the best. Hands down. This show is simply amazing and hilarious and I can't believe that I didn't know about it earlier. Damn you FX for being an obscure cable network famous for dramas like the Shield & Rescue Me. I didn't know that you could do comedy. Honorable mention to Heroes (though you've been around for a while, I just found out about you) but it's always sunny in Philadelphia…and God's an Eagles fan. I don't know...what do you guys think?

WHO DID YOU SPEND VALENTINES WITH: Your Mom - Surprisingly this wasn't a winner last year…but then again, she's easily forgettable. Honestly though, I spent Valentine's Eve having a Movie Night with Bubbles & the Mad Scientist…then worked on Valentine's Day and gave chocolates to the ladies at work…and got ready for my trip to Seattle that weekend…and looked back in my journal to see my string of horrible Valentine's Days. I'm optimistic that 2009's will break that string though. How? Delusion.

BEST RELATIONSHIP: N/A - Yeah, this year has kind of sucked in that department with only a few dates here and there…and mostly just awkward occasions. Sigh…so ronery...

HALLOWEEN COSTUME: N/A - The concept of Frank the Bunny never came to be…but I'm told it'll be ready for next year (only ten months to go) and it really didn't matter because I was busy moving into a new apartment in a new city when Halloween rolled around. Still waiting for those pictures from Bone Junior's party though (hint hint)

RESTAURANT OF THE YEAR: Elway's at the Ritz-Carlton, Denver - Come on over and I'll show it to ya

BOOK OF THE YEAR: "Choke" by Chuck Palahniuk - Thanks Mad Scientist!!!

BEST DECISION MADE THIS YEAR: Moving On - Though it was without a doubt the hardest decision this year too…and as the six months aimed at Vegas will show, fairly tedious & frustrating…but it was about time for me to move on in my professional career, as well as try a new environment on my own (despite it being lonely), and just continue being the best person that I can be…but better. I think I've been able to do that this past year for the most part.

PLANS FOR NEXT YEAR: Live Each Day - This time last year, there was absolutely no indication that I would be typing this from Denver…at my new apartment…with a new job…and all my friends that I had just had a great Movie Night with would be scattered all over the United States in California, Nevada, Utah, Louisiana, Ohio, Colorado, Arizona, Texas, Florida and elsewhere. Basically, I just want to live each day greatly and have fun with this wonderful experience, meet new people, try new things and keep in touch with my loved ones. Simple plans, right?

STUPIDEST IDEA WHEN DRUNK: Driving Drunk - I'll admit it. There was one time this year where I probably shouldn't have been driving…but given the alternatives, it seemed like the only choice that I had. That being said, I waited a few hours for the effects to wear off a bit, went slow & steady…and my passenger & I made it home safely. I felt really bad about the situation…and haven't even put myself anywhere near that situation since. You know I hate drunk drivers…but the person was really sick and needed to get some rest. I had to do something. Now I make sure that I'm always ready on a moment's notice. Lesson learned.

BIGGEST CHANGE OF THE YEAR: My Apartment - I went from a sh*t hole with leaky pipes, shag carpeting, a retarded landlord and a giant hole in the f**king ceiling…to a premium bachelor pad on the 34th floor ABOVE a 5-star hotel. Oh yeah, in a different city too. That's a pretty big change.

BIGGEST DOUCHEBAG AWARD: George W. Bush - I mean…how did this guy become President? TWICE? I blame all of you who voted…even if it wasn't for him…because you didn't stand up and say "Hey, they both suck. Let's get somebody else in this election." Okay, so I don't really blame anyone…but still, he gets the award. Why? Why wouldn't he? I mean…I'm picking him over Terrell Owens…because at least he didn't screw around with my 401k. All of your $tevies are in the mail...


  • Travel more...or at least as much - Yup
  • Find a good girl who likes me too - Not of a sexual nature...
  • Have more sex...preferably with a woman nearby - Sigh...
  • Pursue another part-time job...maybe as a late night radio DJ - Sigh...
  • Play more basketball. I miss our times together - I'm going to the gym now
  • Give more to charity & donate time, blood, plasma, sperm, hair, feces, whatever they'll take - Blood & Time
  • Dance more...preferably with a woman nearby - A few times…but would like more
  • Swear less (now that my nieces & nephews are getting spongier) - Sigh…frack
  • Should I swear off Mountain Dew? - A lot less Mountain Dew, that's for sure
  • Nah, maybe just eat healthier...or cook more - Gym & cooking more
  • Remember JJ - Who? Oh yeah, the girl that would be sitting next to me if she weren't trying to stay away from me
  • Smack more asses (a.k.a. More forward with the opposite sex) - I've smacked a few asses this year
  • Drive my Baby more - Sigh…did you see the picture yesterday? Love ya mom!!!
  • Most importantly, make sure everybody out there knows how much I love & care for them - You all know, right?

  • Make Denver my new home
  • Find that Love I've been looking for
  • Progress in my job & learn everything about the industry
  • Don't Settle for Mediocrity
  • Learn another language (Spanish or Mandarin…to go along with English & German)
  • Renew my Passport…and use it
  • Get my body ripped…like Jesus
  • Movie Nights with neighbors and new friends in Denver
  • Play in a Recreational Basketball League
  • Smack more asses
  • Make sure everybody out there knows how much I love & care for them STILL!!!

Thank you all for making 2008 awesome and quite the memorable experience (and there's always the blog to remind me, just in case). I wish you all a safe & happy celebration of the new year. Have fun...and a great 2009 everybody!!! Drive safely & drink responsibly!!! See ya next year!!! (Lame, I know...)


JLee said...

Great list, $teve. I especially like the shredder idea for those bad memories! lol
Have a great New Year's!!

$teve said...

You too Jlee!!! I liked your questions earlier today as well. :) I thought about saying hi when I was driving through Dallas on the way to New Orleans...but I honestly just wanted to get to New Orleans and be done with that moving van. No offense. :)

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