Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Day 12 - Great Falls
Really nothing much happened this day. My brother, sister-in-law, and kids are back in the same house now...so that's a start. My brother's still mad at my stepdad for calling the cops...and yeah, it may have been a dumb move...but it's what normal people do. Needless to say, my family is not normal people...and we don't like cops. Other than that, nothing really happened until my mom came home from work (another nerve-wrenching day) and said that the Montana State Fair started tonight...so we went. Now, I haven't gone to a Utah State Fair in many years...despite living two blocks from the Fairgrounds for almost five years. Carnival rides are okay, people watching will definitely make you feel better about yourself, the food is HORRIBLE for you but there's plenty of it...and everybody loves kettle corn, and I'm pretty good at feigning interest. That being said...I can not even FEIGN interest when my mom's looking at quilts. I tried. God help me, I tried...but it was just too much. "Oh look at this one, it's handstitched." "Oh my gosh, really? Sorry mom, I'm really trying to give a sh*t but apparently my mind's being stingy with it." Also ladies, just so you know, whenever you say something like, "Oh...look how cute this is" a man will immediately question what he's doing there, try to track the sequence of events that led to this situation so as never to let it happen again, and try to come up with something to say to acknowledge that he heard you, try to sound like he cares, and not sound like he has his own show on Bravo. It's a complex thought process...so when it takes a few seconds for a response...and all you hear is something along the lines of "Yup, that's cool" be happy that we are at least there with you, holding your purse while you fondle somebody's fancy blanket at the Montana State Fair. Anyway, here are some pictures of the fair...because I know you've been waiting for them...
Day 12 - Great Falls
Really nothing much happened this day. My brother, sister-in-law, and kids are back in the same house now...so that's a start. My brother's still mad at my stepdad for calling the cops...and yeah, it may have been a dumb move...but it's what normal people do. Needless to say, my family is not normal people...and we don't like cops. Other than that, nothing really happened until my mom came home from work (another nerve-wrenching day) and said that the Montana State Fair started tonight...so we went. Now, I haven't gone to a Utah State Fair in many years...despite living two blocks from the Fairgrounds for almost five years. Carnival rides are okay, people watching will definitely make you feel better about yourself, the food is HORRIBLE for you but there's plenty of it...and everybody loves kettle corn, and I'm pretty good at feigning interest. That being said...I can not even FEIGN interest when my mom's looking at quilts. I tried. God help me, I tried...but it was just too much. "Oh look at this one, it's handstitched." "Oh my gosh, really? Sorry mom, I'm really trying to give a sh*t but apparently my mind's being stingy with it." Also ladies, just so you know, whenever you say something like, "Oh...look how cute this is" a man will immediately question what he's doing there, try to track the sequence of events that led to this situation so as never to let it happen again, and try to come up with something to say to acknowledge that he heard you, try to sound like he cares, and not sound like he has his own show on Bravo. It's a complex thought process...so when it takes a few seconds for a response...and all you hear is something along the lines of "Yup, that's cool" be happy that we are at least there with you, holding your purse while you fondle somebody's fancy blanket at the Montana State Fair. Anyway, here are some pictures of the fair...because I know you've been waiting for them...
Unicorns, El Chupacabra, Mermaids, none really there...
My mom really likes tractors...you're welcome Mom
A large train set made by grown men...
Remember my rant about quilts?
Here's one thing that made me giggle...just say it with heavy breath...
We went home and had plans to turn into bed early...but basically got caught watching TV until roughly midnight because we're cool like that. It's really no big deal though...because we're used to 4-6 hours of sleep a day and we had alarms set for 6 AM to start driving home. Also, it didn't really matter because Bubbles went to the Coheed & Cambria concert in Vegas this night...and I told her to give me a call when she got home safe (always worry about her driving around on weekends...because at least half of Vegas is drunk) so she did...around 2 AM. You may think that would ruin my sleeping habits...but it really put me at ease...and I rather enjoy when a lovely young lady calls me up late at night. "Did I wake you?" "I don't know...did you? Or am I still dreaming? What're you wearing?" Okay, so I left out that last part...but both Mediocre Gatsby & Anonymous Karimzada agree, chicks love it when you tell them what you're wearing...and guys like it too. No need to thank me, just pay it forward.
Day 13 - Great Falls to Slick City
We (I) woke up around 6 AM and we were on the road by 7:15 or so. We drove...and drove...and drove...and ate some Arby's in Idaho Falls...then drove....and drove...and drove some more. Then I made it home around 5 PM and basically relaxed the rest of the night. JL Clyde sent me a few text messages from her random trip to Vegas with some new vegan friends in a van...but that's really about it. That being said...here are a few pictures of the trip...
Oh look at the fall colors...with conifers...
Apparently it's a bad tree disease causing it...not the fall
This is the HUGE hole in Butte
Oh...and I caught up with the Wingmans and the way that Karma has come back around to make their lives dramatic and hilarious at the same time. As I may have said, they have a custody battle thing...but because the State of Utah ALWAYS sides with the mother no matter what (even when verbal & physical abuse, knives, and death threats are involved...shhhhh) it was time for Karma to step in a little bit. I don't want to go into details (because it's better if they tell you anyway) but it involves an otherwise Gloomy Gus day for them...until the eldest son stumbles upon his mom's toy...and it's a big'un...and asking her what it is...while child protective services is counseling her parenting skills in her home. I laughed so hard that it was difficult to breathe when I was being told. Then the pictures were sent...and apparently there's video but my cell phone sucks. Wish I could share with you...but this is a PG-13 blog. Great day!!!
Now I'm back home and doing laundry and bills and all the other stuff that I should've been doing over the last two weeks. My brother said that he may be stopping by today...but I'm not holding my breath. Driving around with the kids can be a pain in the ass. Anyway, that's really about it. Back to work tomorrow...and I think the next eight days straight. Hopefully I'll find out a little bit about Vegas soon...but we'll see. It'll happen when it's destined to, right? Anyway, here's a quiz that I was sent a couple weeks ago. Hope you enjoy...
Now I'm back home and doing laundry and bills and all the other stuff that I should've been doing over the last two weeks. My brother said that he may be stopping by today...but I'm not holding my breath. Driving around with the kids can be a pain in the ass. Anyway, that's really about it. Back to work tomorrow...and I think the next eight days straight. Hopefully I'll find out a little bit about Vegas soon...but we'll see. It'll happen when it's destined to, right? Anyway, here's a quiz that I was sent a couple weeks ago. Hope you enjoy...
1. I Love...family, friends, bacon, pandas, and women (order tends to vary)
2. Right now I want...satisfaction
3. I feel like...going to Vegas for a few days
4. I hate it when...people drive like crap around me
5. I fear...Big Brother and the Media
6. I'm lonely without...my many vivid personalities
7. I need...to prepare to move because I'm optimistic about a new job
8. Today I...am going to catch up on housework from the last two weeks
9. Tomorrow I'm...going back to work. Yay!!!
10. I just...farted
11. I want to meet...Wonder Woman
12. I'm hungry for...pizza, pasta, and other 5-letter P-words
13. I love it when...somebody says my name in passion
14. I'm afraid of...genital herpes (God damn commercials)
15. I'm listening to...Mythbusters (meeting Kari Byron would be...stimulating) - I still think my idea of "Nutbusters" would be a great show...just maybe not on the Discovery Channel.
16. I'm wearing... Jeans and a T-shirt
17. I wish I was in...side of a beautiful woman
18. I'm craving...the usual
19. I want to get...laid and maybe a new job that I enjoy thoroughly and still pays the bills
20. I can...do anything because I am, I am Superman
21. I can't...understand women but at least I'm trying a little bit
22. I have...an abundance of trivial knowledge that nobody really cares about
23. I haven't...found the One yet
24. My Mom thinks I'm...the greatest thing to ever happen to her
25. My Dad thinks I'm...the greatest thing to ever happen to him
26. I think...too much
27. I'm happy when...I make people smile
28. I'm sad when...girls & babies cry
29. I like eating...lots of juicy things
30. I hate eating...brains
31. I love watching...scantily clad women dance
32. I love listening to...music and people talking
33. I like playing... basketball, video games, and with others
34. I can see...your doodle
35. I'm glad that...people enjoy my company
36. I'm disappointed that...my job has gone down the shitter so gradually over the past few years
37. I look like...that dude in your greatest fantasies, like Harry Potter
38. I wish I looked like...$teve
Have a great day everybody!!!
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