Dr. Love's Museum of the Stripping Arts

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Well, no new news on the job front other than my Boss Ladies suggested that I do some training in the meantime to up'n my resume...so I'll be doing that over the next few weeks while I wait for other certification and calls from Sin City. Awesome. Would've done it earlier if I knew it were an option...but cool. It'll make me a better employee prospect. After work, I went to Filly's to play some Rock Band with JL Clyde and Filly's friend Joey. It was fun of course. Anyway, that's about it...so here's some news articles that perked my interest.

Is Stripping an Art? - Yes. Were I writing an article with that headline, you would have just read the body of my argument. Yes. However, because I am not like everybody else out there (gasp) there are varying opinions out there. For example, Iowa doesn't have any all-nude strip clubs...but it does have performing arts centers where women dance naked. However, the loophole in the state's public indecent exposure law that allows nude dancing at "art centers" is under attack in the small community of Hamburg (population 1200). The case pending before a Fremont County judge effects only one business in Hamburg, but if he agrees with the prosecutor, it could eventually threaten the legal standing of nude dancing clubs across the state (collective gasp). Here's the best part of it for me though. It all began on July 21st last year (happy birthday Bubbles) when a 17-year-old niece of Sheriff Steven MacDonald climbed up on stage at Shotgun Geniez in Hamburg and stripped off her clothing.

Owner Clarence Judy was charged with violating Iowa's public indecent exposure law. Judy responded that the law doesn't apply to a "theater, concert hall, art center, museum, or similar establishments" devoted to the arts or theatrical performances. As lawyer Michael Murphy stated, "Dance has been considered one of the arts, as is sculpture, painting and anything else like that. What Clarence has is a club where people can come and perform." Murphy also noted that the club has a gallery selling collectible posters and other art...and provides patrons with sketch pads. Now you have an excuse to stare…but I'm guessing that most of the sketch pads look more like Rickshaw tests. Obviously Mr. Murphy's forgetting the real question of the matter…a 17-year old girl dancing naked ANYWHERE...but not Fremont County Attorney Margaret Johnson, "Are you saying that minors can't be protected? Can a group of 12-year-olds come down and go in and dance nude and it's OK? I don't think that's what the Legislature had in mind when it made those additional provisions." Johnson said the intent of the law is to allow movies in a theater where there's brief nudity or for an art gallery displaying paintings of nudes. Who's to say what our forefathers had in mind when the law was made? By the way, my grandma was 13 when she had her first child…and that wasn't unheard of fifty years ago. Times have changed a little bit. Murphy said Judy bans anyone under 18 from entering the five-year-old business. The problem, he said, was "a group of girls snuck in a 17-year-old. While she was there, she felt like dancing so she got up and danced on the stage and then she took her clothes off. Trouble with that is she's the sheriff's niece." Yeah, that's the problem. If it were his daughter, niece, little sister, loved one, there'd be no problem whatsoever, right? Anyway, I just thought it raised an interesting question.

So is Stripping an Art? Let me know what you think. I'm pretty sure that you know where I stand on the subject. I don't know art…but I know what I like. Also, keep in mind that art isn't art just because you like it or understand it. That's just what makes it good art to you. Believe me, I've been to many art galleries & museums in my day…and some of it (especially modern art), I wouldn't really categorize as good art…but it's still an expression of the human condition or teenage angst or whatever else those pretentious hippies used to babble on about down at the exhibits at the quad. If it moves you (and stripping, even baaaaad stripping…like Tuesday afternoons when bullet wounds are on display, moves me one way or the other) then it could be art. I don't know. That's just my opinion, what's yours? Let's take a caller...

Worst Cartoon Death Ever - A Russian woman in St Petersburg killed her drunk husband with a folding couch, Russian media reported on July 9th. St Petersburg's Channel Five said the man's wife, upset with her husband for being drunk and refusing to get up, kicked a handle after an argument, activating a mechanism that folds the couch up against a wall. The couch, which doubles as a bed, folds up automatically in order to save space. The man fell between the mattress and the back of the couch. The woman then walked out of the room and returned three hours later to check on what she thought was an unusually quiet sleeping husband. The St Petersburg Emergency Services Ministry said a private rescue service removed the man's body (KGB?). Video on the television channel's website (couldn't find a link) showed emergency workers sawing away the side panels of a couch to remove a man in his underwear lying headfirst between the cushions. Emergency workers said the man died instantly. I could only hope so. Think about the wife. In a little spit of anger, she ended up killing her husband…in one of the most hilariously brutal ways EVER. You'd have to laugh just to keep from crying. This seems like a way to that one of the Three Stooges would have passed away. Oh man, now I'm going to go home and watch some Three Stooges thinking about that. I guess it's how I handle grief. Be careful out there with your drinking guys…because you never know when your Russian mail-order bride could incidentally have you killed. I'm looking at you, Mad Scientist.

What can BROWN do for you? - Jeff Hornagold loved being a UPS driver. So when the suburban Chicago man died this week of lung cancer, longtime co-worker Michael McGowan agreed to take him on one last delivery. (Wait for it) McGowan transported Hornagold's body from Davenport Family Funeral Home to Saturday's funeral services in his UPS truck. McGowan says he plans to keep a picture of Hornagold in his truck until he retires so that they can keep riding together (Oh that's not creepy at all). Hornagold was a UPS driver for 20 years and his wife Judy Hornagold described him as "just the happiest UPS man alive" (which I would think is like saying the highest peak in Rhode Island) and says the special delivery was the perfect tribute. Well, being a fellow package deliverer and eternal optimist, I would like to pay tribute to Mr. Hornagold the best and most fitting way that I know how...but showing his former coworker that made him the happiest UPS man alive. Rest in peace, playa.

Trust me, there were a lot dirtier pictures of my UPS girl for Mr. Hornagold...but this is a PG-13 blog. That'll do it for today, so have a great day everybody!!! See ya tomorrow...hopefully with some blogworthy news.