Thursday, July 31, 2008
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Last night, I watched "Jurassic Fight Club" on the History Channel, where they pit dinosaurs against eachother in a virtual duel to the death. What's not to like about that? Okay, so I'm a dinosaur nerd. Still, last night's episode was about Majungatholus (loosely pronounced My-Jungle-Phallic), a cannibalistic dinosaur in Madagascar about 70 million years ago. That's right, dinosaur cannibals...which is one step away from dinosaur zombies. Not only do they have razor sharp teeth, massive whipping tails, and a thick skull for ramming...but they also had a story behind the virtual ruckus. A male was trying to strut his stuff in order to mate with a female...but she was protecting her young...because they're cannibals. The male eventually notices why she's being particularly prudish...and then thinks "I'm going to have to kill her child in order to mate with her." (You know, stepfather syndrome on a reptilian scale...but wait it gets better. They even hard a viewer discretion advised warning...on the History Channel) So they scrap...and the female trips on a log, giving the male the opportunity to kill the baby...which he attempts (quite viciously). Now, he thinks he's going to get some hot reptilian action...but instead the mom comes flying out of left field and crushes his neck with her jaws, causing him to drop the baby...and paralyzing him...but he's still alive.
Oh, it's not over yet. The female nudges the baby to get a rise of it...but to no avail. Her child is dead. However, instead of greiving (which reptiles simply don't do), she needs to replenish her calories from the fight...so she eats her baby...then turns her attention to the paralyzed male...and eats him while he's still alive, organs first...because they're the most nutritious. Twisted, right? This is up there on the guilty pleasure scale now with a ridiculous show I saw with my brother on G4 called "Hurl!" where...well, the have competitive eating, then extreme activities like amusement park rides for five minutes and bungee jumping, and if you "Hurl!" then you lose. By the way, the winner gets a thousand bucks...and an Iron Stomach trophy. I like the dinosaurs better though...because it's educational...and for the kids...with parental supervision of course. "Mommy, if new daddy kills me, are you going to eat me?" Awkward.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Monday, July 28, 2008
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Day 12 - Great Falls
Really nothing much happened this day. My brother, sister-in-law, and kids are back in the same house now...so that's a start. My brother's still mad at my stepdad for calling the cops...and yeah, it may have been a dumb move...but it's what normal people do. Needless to say, my family is not normal people...and we don't like cops. Other than that, nothing really happened until my mom came home from work (another nerve-wrenching day) and said that the Montana State Fair started tonight...so we went. Now, I haven't gone to a Utah State Fair in many years...despite living two blocks from the Fairgrounds for almost five years. Carnival rides are okay, people watching will definitely make you feel better about yourself, the food is HORRIBLE for you but there's plenty of it...and everybody loves kettle corn, and I'm pretty good at feigning interest. That being said...I can not even FEIGN interest when my mom's looking at quilts. I tried. God help me, I tried...but it was just too much. "Oh look at this one, it's handstitched." "Oh my gosh, really? Sorry mom, I'm really trying to give a sh*t but apparently my mind's being stingy with it." Also ladies, just so you know, whenever you say something like, "Oh...look how cute this is" a man will immediately question what he's doing there, try to track the sequence of events that led to this situation so as never to let it happen again, and try to come up with something to say to acknowledge that he heard you, try to sound like he cares, and not sound like he has his own show on Bravo. It's a complex thought process...so when it takes a few seconds for a response...and all you hear is something along the lines of "Yup, that's cool" be happy that we are at least there with you, holding your purse while you fondle somebody's fancy blanket at the Montana State Fair. Anyway, here are some pictures of the fair...because I know you've been waiting for them...
We went home and had plans to turn into bed early...but basically got caught watching TV until roughly midnight because we're cool like that. It's really no big deal though...because we're used to 4-6 hours of sleep a day and we had alarms set for 6 AM to start driving home. Also, it didn't really matter because Bubbles went to the Coheed & Cambria concert in Vegas this night...and I told her to give me a call when she got home safe (always worry about her driving around on weekends...because at least half of Vegas is drunk) so she did...around 2 AM. You may think that would ruin my sleeping habits...but it really put me at ease...and I rather enjoy when a lovely young lady calls me up late at night. "Did I wake you?" "I don't know...did you? Or am I still dreaming? What're you wearing?" Okay, so I left out that last part...but both Mediocre Gatsby & Anonymous Karimzada agree, chicks love it when you tell them what you're wearing...and guys like it too. No need to thank me, just pay it forward.
Day 13 - Great Falls to Slick City
We (I) woke up around 6 AM and we were on the road by 7:15 or so. We drove...and drove...and drove...and ate some Arby's in Idaho Falls...then drove....and drove...and drove some more. Then I made it home around 5 PM and basically relaxed the rest of the night. JL Clyde sent me a few text messages from her random trip to Vegas with some new vegan friends in a van...but that's really about it. That being said...here are a few pictures of the trip...
Now I'm back home and doing laundry and bills and all the other stuff that I should've been doing over the last two weeks. My brother said that he may be stopping by today...but I'm not holding my breath. Driving around with the kids can be a pain in the ass. Anyway, that's really about it. Back to work tomorrow...and I think the next eight days straight. Hopefully I'll find out a little bit about Vegas soon...but we'll see. It'll happen when it's destined to, right? Anyway, here's a quiz that I was sent a couple weeks ago. Hope you enjoy...
Friday, July 25, 2008
Nate Dogg Arrested for Stalking...his Wife - The rapper, whose real name is Nathaniel Dwayne Hale, was charged July 7th. He was arrested last month by the California Highway Patrol (CHiPs) after his wife claimed he was threatening her and following her as she drove on a freeway south of Los Angeles. His attorney, Mark Geragos, said he looked forward to defending his client in court, "Unfortunately he's had a tough year and we look forward to getting him through it." Apparently it hasn't been that tough of a year if he can hire a good lawyer...but it has been a while since I've heard Nate Dogg's smooth voice on a tune. Think about it. The guy is basically the ultimate chorus singer in the hip-hop community. Sometimes they'll even through in a verse for him too, just to keep him happy. It's sad that he has to go through all this stuff...but I guess the law is the law...and the rhythm is the bass and the bass is the trebllllllllle. Sorry, just had to regulate the G-Funk while he's got some legal problems.
Small Dogs Have Napoleon Complex Too - Small dogs, especially dachshunds a.k.a. Wiener Dogs, are more likely to attack strangers and other dogs than pitbulls, rottweilers and other macho breeds. US researchers sent questionnaires to the owners of 30 breeds of dogs to assess how their pet responded to a variety of common stimuli and situations. Dachshunds, chihuahuas and Jack Russell terriers topped the list for aggressiveness, while Brittany spaniels, greyhounds and whippets were the most docile. The study appears in Applied Animal Behaviour Science, circulation of I'm guessing a few dozen. So Napoleon Complex isn't just for man...but for his best friend too? When will it stop? It must be genetic or something. Even Wiener Dogs have Penis Envy. By the way, I'd like to apologize to any dachshund owners out there for calling them by their unofficial, yet widely-accepted name...and suggest that you run for your life...or get them before they get you & your children.
Worse than Beware of Dog - An unexpected sexual curse has been uncovered by archaeologists at Cyprus's old city kingdom of Amathus, on the island's south coast near Limassol. "A curse is inscribed in Greek on a lead tablet and part of it reads: 'May your penis hurt when you make love'," Pierre Aubert, head of Athens Archaeological School in Greece told the English language Cyprus Weekly. He said the tablet showed a man standing holding something in his right hand that looks like an hour glass (really?). The inscription dates back to the 7th century AD when Christianity was well established on the island, leading the French professor to surmise that it referred to the activity of witchcraft or shamans surviving from the pagan era. Not a bad threat to have as someone enters your home. "Don't steal my stuff...or it'll burn when you pee." Then again, it may not be a real big threat once I move down to Vegas.
Speaking of One-Night Stands - When it comes to one-night stands, men and women are poles apart. Guys just want, well, you know, while gals go to bed with the false impression of flattery and a craving for feeling desirable. The upshot, according to new research, is great for most men and the pits for most women. The study goes further under the covers, delving into the nuances of casual sex and its potential as a Venus-and-Mars minefield. Among the findings: Women were not hooking up in an effort to secure a long-term beau, but because they felt flattered by the overnight proposition. "Often [women] said things like, 'I felt so flattered, so happy that he found me attractive. It was so nice to be wanted,'" said researcher Anne Campbell, a psychologist at Durham University in England. "What women don't seem to see is that men drop their standards massively for a one-night stand. No woman should be flattered because a man wants to have sex with her once." Honestly though, is this really news? Anyway, if you more interested in this experiment, there are some details in the link that talk about it being really bad for girls and really good for guys and all of that stuff...but yeah, it is what it is. If you're going to do it, at least do it with somebody who really thinks that you ladies are amazing...and will cuddel with you...and make you breakfast the next morning...like oh I don't know...your friendly neighborhood non-profit gigolo / doctor Mookie Love. Hope you like pancakes. (Sigh) I've almost forgot what making out is like...with only the occasional dream and supercheesy romantic comedy there to remind me (tear). By the way, your hair looks great...
Robocop Reloaded? - Keeping up the Hollywood rerun theme, MGM has hired director Darren Aronofsky to pull a Christopher Nolan and reboot the dormant Robocop franchise. Aronofsky is teaming with writer David Self ("Road to Perdition") to come up with a new story about the cyborg police officer set for 2010. The original 1987 feature, directed by Paul Verhoeven, spawned two sequels as well as a short-lived TV series and video games. Okay, so let me get this straight. The director of a movie that turned mathematics into a black & white thriller ("Pi"), the creepiest sexy Jennifer Connelly movie ever ("Requiem for a Dream"), and quite possibly the chickiest flick of all time...even though starring Wolverine ("The Fountain") is about to remake "Robocop"? Awesome. Now, I've seen all three of those Aronofsky movies...and they were all pretty good (visually memorable...and gives you a queezy feeling in your stomach...but when appropriate). I hate to say it...but I also kind of like the Robocop trilogy. Number two especially...for the same reason that I enjoy "Starship Troopers" and all those other Verhoeven movies. They're just so bad that they're good. So I'm at the very least curious how Darren Aronofsky's going to do Robocop. My guess...a lot of special effects...and Robocop's going to have a heroin addiction...and sexbots. We'll see if I'm right.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Day 8 - Great Falls
We had breakfast at our hotel and then drove to the Visitor's Center to see if we could get a good map...but as we pulled in, a kind old man by the name of Buck had coaxed my mom into a bus tour of the city while my back was turned. So I had to pay $45 to do something that we were going to do anyway. Thanks mom. At least he was a nice guy...with no fingers on his right hand. I wanted to ask him how he had lost them...but I assume he would have told me what he told all the kids down at the trout hatchery, "Don't forget the bait. Those things are blood-thirsty." Probably frostbite or something living up in Great Falls for many years. Anyway, we drove around to the various falls (now blocked by electricity-producing dams), downtown, and a few other sights. Famous American explorers Lewis & Clark spent a month here during their 1805 journey due to rough terrain, ample supplies to restock as they continue West, and an IHOP on every corner (Indian House of Pancakes). Here are the pictures...
"I call dibs on Sacagawea!!!" "Seconds!!!"
Okay, just so you know, her husband was on the trip too
We all found out almost too late
Here's a picture of Buck's Trolley
Look at these roaring falls...capped by power-producing dams
In case you were wondering, this is what they
looked like back when everything was black & white
Paris Gibson Park on the Missouri River
Statue of famous resident C.M. Russell downtown
After the tour, we had lunch at the MacKenzie River Pizza Company on River Road and had some Fence Posts (bread sticks stuffed with pepperoni, pesto, and cheese) and an Alfredo Chicken Pizza with Feta Cheese. Good stuff...and the waitress was cute. After that, we headed to the Charles M. Russell Museum. For those who don't know, C.M. Russell was the guy who made all those fantastic paintings of the Old West about a hundred years ago before it was completely ransacked by the industrial world. Here's a brief story of his life. He was born & raised in a well-to-do family in St. Louis. Then at 16, he was a gifted painter but wanted to go see the West that he had heard about from his Uncle. The family, thinking he would come running back once getting his hands dirty, obliged him...but he only came back for the holidays from then on. He took up odd jobs and was completely infatuated with the ways of the West and all the majesty that it possessed. As he grew older, he stayed with some of the tribes, cattle runs, and all the other experiences depicted in his works. At age 32, he married a lovely 18-year old named Nancy...and she's the one who said, "You know, you could sell this stuff for some serious cash, sweetie." Before meeting her, he was just a guy who had a lot of talent & unrealized potential...but then she came along and turned him into an iconic figure in the art world. Before long, he was just living the dream in the city of Great Falls. Paint during the day, spending time with his lovely wife, then ride his horse Monty downtown to the bar, where he could pay with his drinks by doodling on a piece of paper for the barkeep. Sweet life, right? Here are the pictures of his museum...
His wife of thirty years, Nancy
Either there are too many paintballers in Montana
or this buffalo is quite flamboyant
"Tell us where the others are!!!"
"For God's sake, they're right behind you."
You may see this as a blurry photo of a C.M. Russell masterpiece
I see it as a C.M. Russell masterpiece...in Monet-Vision
My favorite thing about C.M. Russell's work
is that it shows that Native Americans are just like us
and experience life similarly to the way we do
"You know honey, Swallows Her Fist got a new Buffalo robe last week."
"Gee, I wonder how she got that..."
"Are you sure this doesn't make me look gay?"
More on the Buffalo Jump...
The Funeral Carriage of C.M. Russell
His home in Great Falls
I wonder if this was the baby's room
Let's see. High chair, giant record player, washboard,
ice pick, woodworking tools, and a vice grip.
Oh wait, this might be a better room...with a theme
The Master Bedroom, where he passed away
Notice the gated-off area for his wife's stuff...
there's more closet space on the right full of dresses
After the museum, it was getting a little hot...and there was really nothing else to see in the town, so we headed back to the room...and I entered the blog post that I did yesterday, got calls and text messages from the Wingmans, JL Clyde, my sister-in-law, and Bubbles (I got her some flowers for her birthday...and both her & Keanna liked them a lot), and watched some TV while hanging with my mom. There was a lot of stuff about "The Dark Knight" breaking all sorts of weekend box office numbers...and on the History Channel, there were shows about the Gadgetry & Psychology of the movie, so I flipped between that and "Batman Begins" playing on FX. Good times. I do like the Bat Man. Anyway, that was really about it...then I went to sleep because I had to drive my mom to work the next morning.
Day 9 - Great Falls
The morning started with me dropping my mom off with a couple guys by the Malmstrom Air Force Base...which is really out in the middle of the prairie...and you can see for miles in any direction out there and not really see much until some mountains on the horizon. After dropping her off, I went back to the hotel...and figured that blogging would be a good idea since I really didn't have much else to do...and the internet connection was good. I also just kind of needed a day to relax & not run around all day...or entertain myself & my mother during a ten-hour day in the car or something like that. This was the day that hit the spot. I honestly don't have any pictures from this day. I walked around the immediate area by the hotel just to get some fresh air (on the busiest road in all of Montana...which is kind of like saying the highest peak in Rhode Island), some lunch, walk through the mall across the street, nothing much, then returned to the room...and blogged again. Yeah, pretty lame day...and it was just getting lamer.
My sister-in-law called me up...and she was in tears. Not a good sign. Long story short, she wanted to present my brother with an alta matum (poor Latin knowledge) of changing his ways...or separating. I tried to console her and offer suggestions for other methods...but in all honesty, my brother is a stubborn jackass (as has been documented). They love each other...and they love their children...but she's willing to change & compromise...and my brother isn't...and that's the basic conflict. Drama, drama, drama. So she hangs up with me...and will let me know what happens. My mom gets back to the hotel and we head to a Mongolian Bar-B-Q place in a nearby strip mall called...well, Mongolian BBQ. Simple enough, right? For those who haven't had it, you throw in all the ingredients you want, add some great sauces to suit your taste, and somebody fries it all up on a round flat hotplate...and like magic, you have a wonderful meal. My Fortune Cookie for the Day - "The joyfulness of a man prolongs his day...in bed." I would also like to add, vice versa, "His day in bed prolongs the joyfulness of a man." As soon as we finished our meal, the calls started coming in from the family.
Here's what I've gathered from varying testimonies. My stepdad had picked up the kids so they didn't have to see my brother & sister-in-law talk (yell & berate), they talked, apparently my brother flipped (believable because he called me and could barely breathe he was so pissed), my sister left and went somewhere with the kids (have no idea where...and as long as they're safe, I didn't care), the cops were called because threats were said, allegedly restraining orders were filed this morning, my brother's been talking to my dad (who reacted a lot like this in the past) and got some advice as far as getting a lawyer, etc. and it seems like the drama will continue for some time. Can't wait to see how it turns out, $teve said sarcastically.
Anyway, after that, my mom & I consoled those who called us (all of them in varying orders...because we're both such great listeners) and basically just watched TV including an E! True Hollywood Story about Hugh Hefner which was very interesting to me. I never knew that he was married...TWICE!!! Anyway, check it out if you're ever interested...and I guarantee that it's more interesting than the drama that I've been going through the past few days. Some crap straight outta COPS. "HUAH BAD BOYS!!!"
Day 10 - Great Falls
After having breakfast at the hotel, I went to see the Lewis & Clark Interpretive Center to see the exhibits about the epic journey of Capt. Meriwether Lewis and William Clark...along with the others on the journey like Sacagawea...and apparently she had a husband on the journey too. Who knew? Oh...and Lewis & Clark's dog's name...was Seaman. Go ahead and giggle. I did too...surrounded by elderly people who apparently didn't think it was as funny as I did. Apparently, your sense of humor diminishes along with your senses of taste, hearing, sight, and perspective when you get older...but they were great cats otherwise.
They had park rangers show us how to pitch a tipi (not like I learned in my early adolescence...in my pants) and how they tried to construct a steel boat to make trekking the Missouri River easier...but ultimately failed for them. Anyway, here are some pictures of the center...
Because of the falls, they had to trek this way through Great Falls
"Majestic beauty, my ass!!!"
This ranger was showing me how to make a boat out of iron, willow, and hides...
So why was I pitching a tipi?
Oh yeah, it's real...and it's going on that boat eventually
Along the Missouri River...
Mural downtown showing Clark running from a Grizzly...
despite having a rifle in his hand
Got some lunch at Taco John's (yes, again but it's so good) and then blogged because...well, there really wasn't much else to do. I've pretty much done all there was to do in Great Falls (besides co-eds at Montana State) and for me to drive to Glacier National Park as previously thought...would basically be me, alone in a car, trying to navigate & gawk at nature's wonders, for somewhere in the range of 8-12 hours, to see mountains and melting ice. Sure, that's kind of the downward side of the argument...but yeah, really didn't want to spend an entire day by myself in a rental car that I can barely see under the roof in (not designed for tall gentlemen) to see more mountains...so I apologize for anybody anticipating pictures of that. Oh yeah, then more drama as my brother started calling me during the day because whenever he wasn't talking to somebody, he dwelled on his kids being with his wife (weird as that sounds) and would get really sick and vomit. Nice, right? He then mentioned that I was probably going to be his chief witness if it goes to court...and that's NOT going to happen. It's better for both of them if that's not the case...because I think they're both ass crackers crazy...but they love those kids.
Then I got a call from my sister-in-law, who can't contact my brother because of the order earlier in the day...and she wanted me to call Kiel to see if he REALLY wanted to get a divorce or if he was just angry...because she was ready to fill out the paperwork if he was serious. (Frustrated sigh...because now I'm their marriage counselor) Long story short, I act as interpreter for the two of them...and when it was all said and done, I temporarily saved their marriage...and they allegedly want to work it out...which is fantastic, I think. I don't know. I didn't flower anything up, I just translated for them, and hopefully in the next few days they can communicate with eachother. They're already talking about marriage counseling (from a professional instead of a non-profit gigolo) and making changes...so we'll see how it goes. My brother's still very angry with my stepdad about the cops being called...but whatever. Drama, drama, drama. I talked to Bubbles for a few minutes...and that really helped. Then mom & I went to the Pita Pit, I ate a Chicken Crave with Feta, and all was well with the world...as we watched Monsterquest's search for El Chupacabra "The Goat Sucker" and other TV programs. Slept like a baby.
Day 11 - Great Falls
Breakfast at the hotel again. Didn't really do much the rest of the day by myself...because there really wasn't much to do. I did watch some "Burn Notice" on a new episodes marathon (always seems to be a marathon on when I have nothing to do) and a few History Channel shows about Nostradamus and Nikola Tesla. It got me thinking about a few things. In Nostradamus' case, it got me thinking skeptically about some of his predictions...though in the past, I've paid a lot of attention to them, especially during junior high and stuff. I'm sure a lot of you know about all the predictions about Napoleon, World War II, and now with the War on Terror and some kind of Islamic invasion based on this "Lost Book" which may or may not have anything to do with him (evidence was a little sketchy). The thing is...his ideas got him in trouble with the church...and allegedly had to hide this "Lost Book" away because it talked about the fall of the church, the end of the world, and specifically when it was going to happen. Which really kind of creeped me out...because it's coming up really soon. According to analysis of the text & illustrations, it's when the sun aligns with the 13th constellation of the Zodiac, Ophiuchus, which I didn't even know existed...and aligns with the center of the Milky Way galaxy. The thing is...it's aligned with it right now...until 2012, which is the same year that the Mayan Calender apparently ends. For somebody with some kind of faith in this kind of stuff, yeah it creeps me out a bit. Anyway, keep an eye out for the Anti-Christ.
As for Tesla, the thing that I saw about him basically said that he invented...pretty much everything important in the last hundred or so years...and Edison instead of being a beacon of experimentation and perseverance was a heartless dick who screwed him over on every opportunity to keep his fortune. Nikola Tesla has patents in just about everything concerning electricity, wireless electricity, radio (which he was honored with inventing shortly after he died), soundwaves, death rays (not joking), radar, and probably a few kick-ass chocolate chip cookie recipes. He was also OCD, didn't care for the company of women (unsexual), had a thing with threes (part of his OCD), and basically ended up dying in a hotel room that he spent the last ten years of his life in alone & found several days postmortum. He went through a lot of scrutiny, criticism, and put up with a lot of low-down stuff from Edison and other major industries because he found a better way of doing things that cut into their profits. Like Galileo and other great inventors before him, I can almost hear people during the Industrial Revolution watching him doing these incredible things, saying these fantastical numbers of how much cheaper it is, and somebody yelling out, "He's a WITCH!!! BURN HIM!!!" Why are men of great passion, ideas, ambition, and other great things...always the first to be scrutinized and attacked? Fear of change? Jealousy? Sure he's got a few quirks...but that's why he sees the world differently...and finds these new things. Oh well, he's dead now...but his legacy lives on whenever you...well, do anything electrical...like read my blog. God bless you by the way!!!
My mom got home a little early (apparently she had discussions with a silly old man that she works with and it ended with "Shut the f**k up!!!") so then we went to have dinner at Applebee's along River Road (lots of hot young girls working there by the way) and went to a nearby festival called Alive at Five (not sure what it was for). Basically there was a rock band singing some sort of metal version of popular songs...and a lot of carnival food outlets like cotton candy, kettle corn, and navajo tacos. Then we went to the Mall across the street to see some of these Aluminum Critters, which are lawn decorations / statues made out of recycled aluminium cans...and sold for an ungodly amount of money. Anyway, here are the pictures...
Giraffes, elephants, and monkeys with hats
My mom likes dinosaurs
...and giant cocks.
Well, that'll do it for today. Hope you all enjoyed the pretty pictures and learned a little something maybe. Have a great day & I'll see ya when I see ya. Let me know what you think about the new blog. I know, it's exactly like the old one right now...but it'll probably change. I'm thinking of several different new titles. The Mad Scientist suggests "Dr. Mookie Love II - Electric Boo-Galoo" and I have to admit, I like the sound of it...and I'm always down for roller disco...but I was also thinking of more of a Batman theme for sequels like "Dr. Love Returns", "Dr. Love Forever", "Dr. Love & the Post-Coital Cigarette" (future name of my funk band), "Dr. Love Begins" (probably a look back at my early days), and "Doc After Dark" for examples. As of right now, it's just a generational thing with Junior, followed by the 3rd, IVth, Vth, etc. Open to suggestions though. Have a great day everybody!!!