The Eclectic Eccentric 2: The Kwyjibo Chronicles: Santa Flies First Class Cuz That's How Pimps Roll

Happy Holidays Ladies & Gentlemen,

Merry Christmas Eve to you all…and since I probably won't see you until after then, Merry Christmas as well. Just a few hours of work and then grab some lunch and head to the airport. In about twelve hours, I'll be hanging at my dad's house and enjoying time with the family. Can't wait. Oh...and in case you were wondering about the title, I basically think that Santa's a pimp. I mean...the guy wears flamboyant red velvet suits with I can only assume white mink trims, big badass gangsta boots & belts (possibly ostrich skin), carries a big sack...and even walks around saying "Ho" this and "Ho" that and telling people of all ages to sit on his lap. Let's not even start with the whole breaking and entering thing...but he gives back to the people too, so he's a cool cat. Merry Christmas to you, Santa! May your ho's ackrite so that you can have some nog with nutmeg this evening. It's hard out there for a pimp.

I watched "In Bruges" starring Colin Farrell, Brendan Gleeson and Ralph Fiennes. The story is about two hitmen, Ray & Ken, who are holding up in Belgium (in Bruges, oddly enough) by orders of their boss Harry (Fiennes) after Ray (Farrell) accidentally shoots a little boy during a hit at a church. While there, Ken (Gleeson) checks out some of the sights of this "fairytale" city…and honestly, it looks like a pretty awesome, well-preserved medieval town. Anyway, Ray is really torn up about it…and semi-suicidal…which is odd, because Harry just called and told Ken to kill him. However, Ken really likes Ray. So what's going to happen? Well, it's a pretty good movie…though I don't really know what genre it is. Maybe a black comedy. It has its funny parts…and there's a lot of swearing (sign of a comedy) but obviously it's a little brutal at some points given the subject material…but there's also a midget, so it has to be a comedy…with brutal drama thrown in…with a dash of heart…and a few gallons of blood.

Anyway, other than that, I basically just talked to Bubbles last night about New Year's and she's super excited about it…and driving to California to hang with the family for Christmas, so that's cool. Oddly enough, Lilie drove from Cali to Vegas on her way to Utah tonight…so exact opposite directions there. Again, I'll be flying into Utah tonight…and super excited. Haven't seen my dad in two months…and it's already been a month since I've seen my mom…and a few months since I've seen my brother. I even got a call yesterday from my buddy Chris who I haven't seen in over a year…and his daughter Sara talked on the phone too. Haven't seen her since she was just a little lady of about four years old. She's turning eight in June. My, how time flies. Enjoy the times you have with your loved ones…and here's a little Christmas quiz that I decided to do.

CHRISTMAS FUN
From: Alisa

What is your favorite Christmas song? I have a plethora of Christmas albums from Nat King Cole to Charlotte Church to THE Reverend Al Green to a surprisingly horrible one of Sinatra & Bing Crosby duets. However, one of my favorite new songs that I heard the other day was off the Richard Cheese Christmas album, "Christmas in Las Vegas" from the "Silent Nightclub" album. It's fun and catchy…and it's Vegas. On the real though, what can really beat Nat King Cole's "Christmas Song"? Really?

When was your most memorable Christmas? Wow. It's always a good time for Christmas…but I really can't think of one that was particularly memorable. I remember getting a Nintendo when I was six…with Captain Power & the Soldiers of the Future shipgun things. That was pretty sweet. Last Christmas was awesome. How's that for an answer?

What is your favorite Christmas treat? Baby Jesus Cookies a.k.a. Kiefels (My aunt Pat's going to have a box of them waiting for me)

What do you dislike most about the Christmas season? Commercialism…which is weird being a Marketing Management degree holder…but yeah, Christmas is all about the Love, not the presents. To me, your presence is presents enough.

What do you like best about the Christmas season? Being with the family and friends and those you care about. You really can't top it. I'd say the Christmas Spirit…but it does seem like nowadays a lot of people have sand in their orifices this time of year. Still, I try to spread the Spirit…oh and that "Spirit" movie comes out on Christmas. Violent & action-packed. That's cool.

Who is the hardest person to shop for on your Christmas list? My dad. The man has EVERYTHING!!! Tools, clothes, therapeutic massagers, blah blah blah. I usually just have to get him some comedies & action movies from the 80's to give him something.

If you could receive one gift without money being an issue, what would it be? Rent's good…but I'm down with just hugs & loves. I don't need any more electronics or anything like that, just a place to rest my head…and maybe somebody to lay next to.

What is your idea of a perfect Christmas Eve? About 5'8" or so, red hair, green eyes (to keep with the Christmas theme), athletic build, probably a Southern accent (though Irish would seem more likely), great sense of humor, sweet personality, great cook, has a thing for tall guys with stuffed animals in his bedroom, pretty much a nympho, heck…it'd even be a hilarious name for a couple, $teve & Eve.

Which do you like best, eggnog, or hot chocolate? Hot chocolate - "I believe in miracles…"

Do you prefer a fancy Christmas tree, or one decorated by the kids? Frankly, I don't care. If the kids have fun, I say let them do all the work…but I have a fake tree with about twenty ornaments on it…but I make it work.

What is your favorite family Christmas tradition? My stepmom's family does a little Nativity scene play every year with the younger kids so we take pictures and it's cute as hell. I'm thinking that Vinny will play the baby Jesus this year if he makes it…and Kairi'd be a shepherd or something. I think she was Jesus two years ago…but I didn't make it that year (damn former job).

Do you like fruitcake? I like Fig Newtons. They're fruit AND cake.

Do you prefer skiing or snowboarding? Skiing…but I haven't been either in many years…though I used to have a season pass due to family hookups.

Are you dreaming of a White Christmas, or do you say "Bah Humbug" to snow? I enjoy snow a lot…as long as I don't have to drive in it and other drivers don't act retarded around me. "Oh man, there's ice on the ground. I should speed up so I get home quicker. Deeeeeerp…"

What was your favorite gift from Santa when you were a child? Underwear and socks. I was a weird kid.

What is your favorite Christmas movie? "It's a Wonderful Life" with "Scrooged" close behind. I believe I made a Movie List for this one...

Have you ever eaten snow? Not today…but I have been at work all day.

Who do you wish could be with you this Christmas? All my family & friends who couldn't make it like my grandparents (passed on), Bubbles, Filly, Elvis, Batman (work to be done) and Megan Fox (engaged to some other dude).