I Knew You'd Say That

Good Morning Ladies & Gentlemen,

Getting so close to a Holiday Weekend back home, I can feel it. All the presents are packed in my airline-approved sack, the travel arrangements are double and triple checked, I seem to be one of only a handful of people at work…and have forgotten a password apparently & nobody can seem to give me access because they're all on vacation, oh yes…the Holidays are in full swing. Also…tomorrow will be my 500th post on this blog. I know, time flies by, right? I called my mom's house over the weekend…and my sister-in-law told me the cutest story ever, so I thought that I'd share it with you. Apparently they were going through some pictures from their wedding and last Christmas…and my sister-in-law stumbled upon a picture of me. My niece Kairi was there and she said something to her like, "Look Kairi, Uncle $teve." So Kairi got all excited and grabbed the picture to look at it, "I want Unka 'Teve." "He'll be here in a few days, sweetie. He's coming in from Denver for Christmas." "I want Unka 'Teve NOW" and she pulls the picture to her chest and starts hugging it like mad...in tears. "Oooooh baby, it's okay. He'll be here in a few days." She wipes her eyes and smiles, "Okay." Tell me that's not cute. Anyway, just a few more days to go until then.

Last night, as illustrated in the One Day Photo Project, I watched "Time Bandits" for the first time. To be perfectly honest, it was okay…but not incredible by any means. It's the story of a young boy who is whisked away on a magical adventure by following little people who claim to be fugitives…and have a mysterious map that leads them across space & time to steal riches beyond their wildest dreams…but things happen along the way. It's from director Terry Gilliam and the minds of Monty Python…and even has Sean Connery in it briefly. The fantasy and everything's great…but I don't know exactly why I wasn't that interested in it. There were moments of hilarity…but very brief…and not the usual Monty Python kind of stuff. Like Labyrinth…but without David Bowie or jailbait Jennifer Connelly or Muppets. I know. Think about that one for a second…and throw in some English accents. Okay…but not incredible. Now, for the news...

Get the Hint - A Maine man (not my main man) found a wallet stuffed with cash on the floor in a home improvement store. Two days later, he found a loaded money bag in the same store. Gil Steward was shopping Tuesday at The Home Depot in Auburn, Maine when he spied the wallet, which was stuffed with nearly $1,000 in $100 bills (can a wallet be stuffed with less than ten bills?). He returned it to The Home Depot store's service counter and it was returned to a very grateful owner. On Thursday, same hour and same store, Steward saw a green money bag on the floor. Again, it was returned to its rightful owner. His wife, Dee, said her husband thinks he's being tested (by the CIA?). As for Steward, he said he plans to play the lottery this weekend. If that's not a sign, I don't know what is. I mean…do they really still make green money bags? That seems a little…too obvious. Was there a dollar sign on it too? Was it the same owner both times? Maybe he's trying to give money away for the Holidays…and this guy just won't get the hint. I don't know. If I were in the situation…I might be the kind of guy to turn the money in…the first time. Who's walking around with a money bag at the Home Depot anyway? "Yes, I would like a golden toilet please." "Sir, we don't have a golden toilet in stock." "Oh…then perhaps you can order one in from CASHONIA!!!" and he throws handfuls of money into the air from his magical money bag. Oh yeah, it happens at the Home Depot all the time.

Werewolf Update - "Superman Returns" and "X2" co-scribe Mike Dougherty is developing the werewolf dramedy "Bitches" for FOX (of course) says Reuters. The story is described as a quirky fairy tale of a quartet of female friends in New York City who just happen to be werewolves - think "Sex and the City" with far less waxing and a more appropriate name. Now, as you know, werewolves are one of those key things that will make me watch your movie…even if it's described with any relation to a "Sex and the City" so we'll see if I end up seeing this one. Chances are…as a rental. Much more interested in the "Underworld: Rise of the Lycans" prequel (despite no Kate Beckinsale) and the lesbian horror flick "Jack & Diane" with Ellen Page. I've done a Werewolf Movie List, haven't I? Dang, I thought I was going to be original today. Oh well, here's another Future Watch, I guess.

Judge Dredd Remake - DNA Films, Rebellion and 2000 AD (almost nine years ago) are set to bring a new version of "Judge Dredd" to the big screen. 2000AD CEO Jason Kingsley says "We can't give away too many details at this point, but we're looking forward to working with DNA Films to bring Judge Dredd back to the big screen." The film was previously adapted as a big-budget Sylvester Stallone action film in 1995 which scored weak reviews and poor box-office…despite being one of the coolest movies EVER in my humble opinion. The new Dredd will go into production in 2009. Hmm, maybe there's one more thing that can be added to my Key Things list to watch your movie. Remake a Sylvester Stallone movie. Preferably with Sylvester Stallone in it. Proof? You want proof? How about the latest Rambo…or Rocky Balboa? Or how excited I was when I heard they might be making a Cliffhanger sequel? Here's an idea, how about a second Demolition Man? You can even bring back Simon Phoenix (Wesley Snipes) through DNA regeneration or something like that. Seriously, I would watch "Stop of my Mom will Shoot…Again" starring Sly and a more appropriate mother, Miss Sophia Loren. He's Italian, right? Why wouldn't his mother be Italian? Anyway, that's just my opinion. Then again, I had him starring in a movie version of the game Jenga. Have I done a Sylvester Stallone Movie List? All I know is the Flush It would be "Rhinestone" if I did. The rest has too much competition for greatness. How can you pit Rocky against Rambo? Hmm, actually, now that I think about it, that'd be a great 7th installment of the Rocky series. Maybe the details of this Judge Dredd remake can't be discussed…because they're trying to work John Spartan (Demolition Man) into the script somehow. (Gasp) Perhaps I've said too much. Do what you must do Mr. Kingsley. I'll be waiting. Work Diane Lane back into it too...if you can.

Anyway, that'll do it for me for today. Gonna try to think of something special for my 500th Post tomorrow. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Otherwise, you just get my usual boring stuff. Sigh…the Eagles came up a few inches short on the last play of the game last night and now their playoff hopes are in jeopardy. All they have to do is beat the Cowboys next week, hope the Raiders beat the Bucs in the Pirate Bowl and hope the Bears lose tonight and next week. All of which are very possible. Keep your fingers crossed for this team of destiny. If they can just make it to the playoffs, they can basically beat anybody when they play well. Until then, have a great Christmas time…and I'll see y'all around the way. Have a great day everybody!!!