Never Go Full Retard

Good Morning Ladies & Gentlemen,

Slingin' Sammy Baugh Dies - The last surviving member of the original Pro Football Hall of Fame class & the Great-Grandfather of the Forward Pass has passed away. Sammy Baugh, the legendary quarterback for the Washington Redskins (a.k.a. Racists) from 1937 to 1952 died last night of numerous ailments…but then again, the man was 94 years old and played football for 15 years back when pads were basically leather patches that made you look cool. From a statistical standpoint, he's legendary. During that time, he led the NFL in passing, punting and interceptions the SAME year. In one game, he famously threw four touchdown passes…and intercepted four passes on defense. He won two championships (before Super Bowls). However, his persona and legend is much more than that. He was the ultimate standard of athletic versatility in a time when everybody played both sides of the field. He was essentially a cowboy from West Texas who went to the nation's capital and completely revolutionized the game of football. Since then, he basically lived contently on his 7600-acre ranch. Our condolences go out to his family…including four children, 12 grandchildren and 11 great-grandchildren.

Stylez G. White - Greg White, a second-year defensive end for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers has officially changed his name to Stylez G, White. A Hillsborough County Circuit Court granted his request Monday. White said it wasn’t that he didn’t like his own name, but really liked the name of a character in the 1985 movie "Teen Wolf," starring Michael J. Fox. In the movie, Fox’s friend is named Rupert "Stiles" Stilinski. White changed the spelling and adopted the name as his own. Well, at least he didn't name his kid Stylez or something like that, just him…and hey, if he wants to call himself Macaroni N. Cheez, that's his business…but if his mama still calls him Greg, I'm gonna call him Greg. Besides, of ALL the possible names from obscure movie references to name yourself after, why the fat kid in Teen Wolf? Obviously I like a few names from movies like Korbin & Lelu from the Fifth Element…but it's not like I'm going to change my name to Klaatu Fletch Rambo or Booger Chunk Vankman. Oh well, it's his choice. I say go with it. Good for you, Stylez.

Baby Name Update - A supermarket is defending itself for refusing to a write out 3-year-old Adolf Hitler Campbell's name on his birthday cake. Deborah Campbell, 25, of nearby Hunterdon County, N.J., said she phoned in her order last week to the Greenwich ShopRite. When she told the bakery department she wanted her son's name spelled out, she was told to talk to a supervisor, who denied the request. Karen Meleta, a ShopRite spokeswoman, said the store denied similar requests from the Campbells the last two years, including a request for a swastika. "We reserve the right not to print anything on the cake that we deem to be inappropriate. We considered this inappropriate." The Campbells ultimately got their cake decorated at a Wal-Mart in Pennsylvania. A Wal-Mart spokesman told The Associated Press on Wednesday that in light of the incident, the company would review its guidelines regarding cake decorations and other requests. "It's clear that in serving this customer, some people were offended," spokesman Greg Rossiter said. "As a result, we're going to review our policies." Heath Campbell said he named his son after Adolf Hitler because he liked the name and because "no one else in the world would have that name." (No sh*t!) The Campbells' two other children are named JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell, who turns 2 in a few months, and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell, whose first birthday will be in April. Campbell said he was raised not to avoid people of other races but not to mix with them socially or romantically…but he said he would try to raise his children differently. "Say he grows up and hangs out with black people. That's fine, I don't really care. That's his choice." He said about 12 people attended the birthday party Sunday, including several children of mixed race. Wow! I didn't think people like this still existed in this day and age…well, at least in the North. I did find it a little funny that Wal-Mart did the cake…but I'm not really surprised. I just…I don't know where to begin with this one. I hope that Heath is telling the truth and promoting racial equality with is children…but honestly, they can't go to school with those names. You could be the coolest kid possible and have magical powers or something…but if you have a name like Adolf, it's not going to work. I think that I talked about this a few weeks ago, right? Damn, I should've started this blog three years ago apparently to get the word out. You could have the ultimate solution in solving the economic crisis, rebuilding our foreign policy, turning lead into gold, perpetual energy from spinning a phrase, figured out that tricky time-travel thing and just about anything else…but if you're running for president as Senator Daterape, it's not going to be a fun ride for you. Just look at how much flack, Obama got for having a middle name like Hussein…like a few MILLION other people across the globe. I hope these kids change their names as soon as legally possible. I don't even care if it's Darth Predator Campbell or Cybill Hannibal Campbell.

Anyway, I guess that'll do it for today…but first, I read this post from my buddy Camb's blog a few weeks back…and thought it'd be interesting to try it out. Here it goes...

20 years ago I...
1. Won my first (and only) trophy…playing goalie in soccer
2. Started playing basketball & Oregon Trail
3. Read a lot of books about Dinosaurs
4. Lived with my parents and little brother

10 years ago I...
1. Went to Prom…and it didn't go too well
2. Was on the Academic Olympiad, German Bowl & Engineering teams…but not basketball
3. Graduated from High School and was a Freshman at the U of U
4. Lived in the dorms with a bunch of crazy people

5 years ago I...
1. Tried out for the Utah Snowbears and the And1 Mix Tape Tour
2. Was given my current car Brandy a.k.a. the Poor Man's Maybach
3. Switched from the U to SLCC
4. Lived in my dad's basement (clearance of under six feet)

3 years ago I...
1. Went to China for a month
2. Got Lasik surgery & experience my first taste of Love
3. Graduated with two degrees
4. Moved into my first solo apartment

1 year ago I...
1. Started doing this silly blog thing
2. Spent a few weeks in Europe with my grandma & mom's crazy friend
3. Spent my nights watching movies & drinking with my peeps Bubbles, JL Clyde, the Mad Scientist & others
4. Was the Best Man at my brother's wedding

This year I...
1. Became an uncle again (and spent my birthday at Chuck E. Cheese)
2. Saw friends of mine move all over the country in a matter of months
3. Decided to move on in my career…and tried to move to Las Vegas for six months
4. Moved to Denver and live in a stunning 34th floor apartment with an amazing view

Yesterday I...
1. Worked a full day
2. Went to the gym
3. Blogged about Tom Hanks fighting Mel Gibson
4. Slept alone

Today I...
1. Worked a half day (would rather work & get paid)
2. Had a nice lunch at work (
3. Will go to the gym, walk around downtown and watch some football tonight
4. Will probably sleep alone

Tomorrow I...
1. Will work a full day again
2. Start wrapping the rest of the Christmas presents
3. Do some laundry…or maybe on Saturday
4. More than likely, will sleep alone…maybe cuddle with a teddy bear

Next year, hopefully, I...
1. Will have gained some great job experience to further my career
2. Will meet new people here in Denver & hang with them
3. Will be able to travel all over the country to see my family & friends
4. Won't be sleeping alone…because I found the cure for cancer

Have a great day everybody!!!