Batman v. Superman: Bop 'Em in Gotham

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

 

Last night, Izzy & I got a special invite to a screening of “Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice” a full… maybe 24 hours prior to its worldwide release… but the price was right, so we went to see this EPIC movie featuring a load of costumed superheroes. This movie is basically the real jump-off point for the DC Cinematic Universe… and based on the previews leading up to it… I had some mixed feelings going in… but love for most of the characters… mainly the ones that I’m familiar with (Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman… not so familiar with Flash, Aquaman, Martian Manhunter, etc.) This movie starts out summing up the origin story of Batman (Ben Affleck) during the opening credits, which was great… because we’ve seen it a number of times in the various incarnations & flashbacks in the sequels. Then it picks up with the finale of “Man of Steel” where Superman (Henry Cavill) is battling General Zod (Michael Shannon), but it’s shown from the point of view of Bruce Wayne/Batman as a human from the streets of Metropolis… so building are falling left & right… thousands of casualties that were brushed over in “Man of Steel”. Then it fast forward to 18 months later… and the world is divided between those who see Superman as some sort of God to help us… and others as an Alien Threat that will destroy us all if he has a bad day. Then there’s the discovery a large chunk of green rock that can possibly be used as a weapon against Superman & his kind… and then probably the two richest people on Earth, Lex Luthor (Jesse Eisenberg) and Bruce Wayne, want it as a bit of deterrence against Superman. Look, basically check out the original trailer from a few months ago and you have the story. Lex uses the alien technology from the crashed ship to make Doomsday. Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot) makes a few brief appearances. That’s about all the spoilers that I’m going to give… and you got all that from the trailer. Here’s the breakdown:

  

Things I Liked About This Movie:

 

·         Wonder Woman – This is going to be the thing that everybody takes away from this movie… that Wonder Woman is the best part. I have a few theories on why this is… and it starts with that it’s basically a glorified cameo. Look, Gal Gadot is a fetching creature… and a decent actress in small doses. Can she pull a whole movie? Who knows? I assume there’s a reason that she hasn’t yet… but she will soon enough with the “Wonder Woman” movie coming soon, so then we’ll have an answer. She does a good job. Her accent isn’t that unnerving (which was a concern of mine) because you know… she’s French but could also pass for Greek as accents go… and compared with the Batman voice that this Batman has, there’s other things to worry about. Regardless, she does great. It’s a great intro to her character. We shall see if she can pull the lead role… but this movie is basically about 60% Batman movie, 30% Superman, 10% everybody else combined.

 

·         Visually Intriguing – Director Zach Snyder has a very distinct style… and the most notably is the very rich, dark, saturated color tone to basically every single frame of film. It’s pretty to look at, there’s lots of CGI (most of it is pretty decent), you’ve probably all seen “300”, “Watchmen”, “Sucker Punch”, “Man of Steel”, even “Dawn of the Dead” had elements of it… and what 90% of people talk about when they talk about those movies is just how pretty they were & how they were pretty imaginative for the time & badass from a visual standpoint. This movie is no different in that regard.

 

·         Sound Effects – In the theatre, the musical score is booming, every single character seems to have their own intro music like it’s WWE almost, the explosions, crunches, cracks, metal bending, all that is pretty intense & matches for the most part. Due to the epic scale of the movie, that’s good… because when a whole city is collapsing… or titanic beings are battling to the death… it can really take you out of a movie quick if the sound is a little off point. Also, director Zach Snyder get special recognition for using two songs from Richard Cheese & Lounge Against the Machine (probably the greatest band you may have never heard of) as he did originally in “Dawn of the Dead” with their rendition of “Down with the Sickness”. They’re subtle in the movie obviously… but I caught it… and I have to rep for Richard Cheese.

 

·         Story is… Decent – I was a little worried that this movie was going to get very full of itself and really be pushing the whole Man vs. God thing… and that’s exactly what happened… like… repeated to a point of tedium… in case you went to the bathroom a few times during the lengthy run time. That being said though, they at least tried to make it intriguing from both points of view… and basically show that when people are scared, they do rash things. Whether it’s Batman wanting to keep Superman in check, because he used to be the big dick in the Gotham/Metropolis area & that has changed… or Lex Luthor fearing that all of his power from knowledge and/or privilege is now absolutely worthless in regards to Superman’s pure physical presence… or Superman just wanting to be a nice guy who protects people but he feels nothing but resent from those that he tries to protect… or Lois Lane for just being a f**king idiot / plot device who has a brief bathtub scene that… I actually rather enjoyed in just how silly & pointless it was. Anyway, the story was better than it really had to be… and is meant to be thought provoking, which I appreciate in what could be a very simple silly story & still make Brinks trucks of cash.

 

Things I Didn’t Like About This Movie:

 

·         Lex Luthor – Look, I think Jesse Eisenberg is a great actor in the few movies that I’ve seen him in. I love Gene Hackman as Lex Luthor in the old Superman movies. Hell, I liked Kevin Spacey in “Superman Returns” which everybody else hated. Even the construct of the character in this movie as a young Zuckerberg-type who has limitless financial means, incredible intelligence & ultimate contempt for everybody else in the world for his own personal gains & desires… really seems to work as a great plot forwarding device. You know, why else would Batman & Superman fight? That is except for the fact that Batman technically is a vigilante & Superman is Team America: World Police? However… watching this movie… I kept seeing the performance & mannerisms as matching up with a movie that I haven’t seen in nearly 20 years… and that was the Carrot Top vehicle “Chairman of the Board.” Also, nobody will ever touch him apparently. Superman, Batman, the government, they all just… kind of let him do whatever he wants… right in front of them… while monologuing… and they just kind of sit there… doing nothing. I’m actually kind of surprised that (spoiler alert) Lex Luthor gets arrested at the end. You know… he only tried to kill THE F**KING WORLD BY UNLEASHING AN UNHOLY ABOMINATION!!! “Ooooh, let’s shave his head & throw him in a cell.” Ridiculous…

 

·         Young Bruce Wayne Flying with the Bats – During the opening credits… you’ll see it… and when I saw it, I leaned over to Izzy and said “Oh God… this is not a good start…”

 

·         Superman’s Ever Growing List of Weaknesses – Look, I also understand that you have to give Superman weaknesses. That’s why Kryptonite exists, because otherwise he’d just kind of go through and solve the world’s problems almost inexplicably (like how he saves Lois & others in this movie). However… his ever-growing list of weakness includes his relationship with Lois… his mother Martha Kent (Diane Lane) back in Kansas… and frankly, his number one weakness… is his own stupidity. “UGH! I must do these horrible things to destroy the world to save Lois (who spoiler alert, is also part of the world)” Anyway, plot forwarding… I can look past this one a little bit.

 

·         Zack Snyder Tropes ABOUND!!! – As I mentioned, Zack Snyder has a very distinct style. Slow motion is EVERYWHERE!!! The run time in this movie could easily be a half hour shorter if they didn’t have dozens of scenes with super slow motion stuff going on… but it’s at least well hidden by the aforementioned soundtrack. The Physics in this world are… let’s say exaggerated or disregarded completely. There’s also a lot of the usual problems with these movies where… for example… a character may be able to pick up vehicles and toss them like a baseball in one scene… and then REALLY have to struggle with opening a door in the next scene. I don’t want to give away specific examples in this movie… but you’ll see them. Also, there’s a lots of guys with abs in this movie… but that’s standard Snyder. Heck, there’s a montage with Batman doing a P90X workout so that Affleck can show off his bod… and when Superman goes before Congress, suuuuuuper slow mo so that he can show off every single bulge in his suit.

 

·         Action Scenes are Hit or Miss – I have this one at the end because it’s kind of a like/dislike. I’m not going to be one of those super purist nerds who’s going to say that “Superman doesn’t kill” and “Batman doesn’t use guns” because… let’s be real… they do. Superman kills a lot of innocent bystanders while saving millions of people… that’s just fact, even in the comics. Also… especially in past movies, Batman uses guns… but in this movie, he uses LOTS of guns!!! Hell, you’ve seen the trailer by now, right? Did you notice that in the iconic scene where you see Superman, Wonder Woman & Batman together on screen… that Batman has the world’s largest f**king shotgun/grenade launcher at his disposal? Anyway, as for the fight scenes themselves, some are pretty tight & concise… others are just really confusing… and again, part of it is the fluctuation of physics in this cinematic universe… and I feel like this was Zach Snyder trying to touch on as many genre as possible. There’s car chase scenes like a “Fast & Furious” movie. There’s fight scenes that are the usual super-epic superhero stuff… as well as ones that are reminiscent of Asian movies like “Raid: Redemption” or “Oldboy” in their ferocity. It’s just kind of a mixed bag though.

 

Overall, you pretty much have to watch this movie if you like comics… and it’s not bad by any means. In fact, I would say that it’s pretty good and a decent start point for the whole “Justice League” franchise and all of its spin-offs. However, there are going to be plenty of times watching it where you think to yourself “What the…? What am I watching right now? Why is this in here?” It has a few flaws… but then again… as is constantly crammed down our throats, we all have flaws… especially our superheroes. Go check it out!

 

Also, Monday night the roommates and I hashed out some minor grievances over beer & wine, followed it up with “Tucker & Dale Versus Evil” and then a new movie that sounded interesting called “Lazarus Effect” starring Olivia Wilde, Mark Duplass, Donald Glover & Evan Peters. This movie is about a group of Berkeley scientists who start out attempting to restimulate brain cells and grow new cells, etc… and somehow slip on a way to actually reanimate dead dogs… and I assume future animals with testing. Then the pharmaceutical company that gave them the grant step in to steal their research… and so they decide to break into the lab & do it again… despite the dog that they brought back from the dead having some… odd ultraviolent side effects. Well… something goes wrong during the experiment… and the superhot scientist (Wilde) ends up getting electrocuted. What to do? Bring her back, of course! You don’t need another corpse on your record. Well… it works… but then she starts having some serious side effects as well.

 

Okay, I remember hearing about this movie… and then NOTHING! Apparently it was made in 2013… and then released over two years later (never a good sign) when the surprisingly good cast really caught fire or something. Fun fact: David Gelb, the director of this movie actually did a pretty good job of keeping the atmosphere of the movie creepy… even when the script towards the end took a serious turn to the ridiculous. What has he done in the past? Well… he did the documentary “Jiro Dreams of Sushi” and… that’s about it. Overall, I thought the movie was pretty good. There were obvious flaws, but the acting was pretty good… the atmosphere was creepy… I kept thinking about “Deep Blue Sea” while watching it… but where that movie is ridiculous throughout, this one is a little more rooted in reality & not spitting one-liners or anything. I’d say check it out. It’s a scant 83 minutes WITH credits.

 

This past weekend, we also stopped by SFHG founding member Kevin’s homebrew shop / taproom / brewery that we’ve been (small time) investors in for the past few years, Ferment.Drink.Repeat. The location is not quite open (hopefully in the next few weeks) but it’s well on its way… and the homebrew shop portion is open during select hours. Congratulations to Kevin & his wife Shae for getting this monstrous adventure off the ground! Here are some pictures…

 

We also brewed up an IPA with hops that we had lying around (mostly from NHC) and some ingredients from FDR... this first one is a picture of our Mountain Brew that we enjoyed while making it...

 

 

In summation, our latest episode of the Everything I Learned From Movies Podcast (eilfm.podbean.com) will be posted by the time that you read this… and spoiler alert, we’re probably going to talk about Batman v Superman a bit… but check out our review of “Leprechaun in Da Hood” as well as a few surprises. Until then, have a great day everybody!!!

Frozen, Safehouse & Cyser

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

 

Friday night, Izzy & I watched a movie that’d been on our queue for Netflix for a while called “The Frozen Ground”. Why was it on our queue? Well, it’s about an Alaskan troooper (played by Nicolas Cage) who is trying to find a serial killer (played by John Cusack… yes, John Cusack) before he strikes again… and basically the only lead that he has to go on is an underage prostitute (Vanessa Hudgens), but aside from her personal quibbles… she also has a mean pimp (50 Cent). By the way, this is NOT a comedy… it’s actually based on a true story. I just want to make that abundantly clear from the beginning. It’s not Ghost Rider trying to convict a serial killing Edgar Allen Poe with the help of a High School Musical dropout fallen on hard times… but still, you can see why it’s intriguing at a casual glance. The movie… is actually pretty good, hence why you’ve probably never heard about it, even though it came out in 2013 other than on my blog a few years ago. There are even some other character actors that you’ll recognize from other things (Kevin Dunn from “Transformers”, Kurt Fuller, Dean Norris from “Breaking Bad”, Brad Henke, etc) but the movie sets a dark, seedy tone… and the acting isn’t completely over the f**king top like you might expect from Mr. Cage or Mr. Cusack (okay, there are a few moments towards the end but… you know, climax). Also, fun fact: Vanessa Hudgens… can actually f**king act. I mean… the character for the most part is kind of lacking… but she actually pulls it off really well. I wouldn’t be surprised to see her in some actual movies going forward… not that teeny bopper bullsh*t. Good for her! I definitely recommend watching this movie on Netflix if you like the genre… or all the TV capers and stuff. I’ll warn you though… this movie will make you think of…

  

Director Christopher Nolan’s “Insomnia” from 11 years earlier… you remember? After “Memento” but before the new Batman trilogy? Al Pacino trying to find a murdering Robin Williams with the help of Hilary Swank in the city of Nightmute, Alaska? During the time of year where the sun doesn’t set for months? There’s sleep deprivation, an internal affair investigation, some cover-up conspiracies and a lot of artsy focus shots? Well… Izzy hadn’t seen it… so I made her watch it right after. I’m pretty sure I’ve reviewed this movie before… so I’m just gonna say check it out if you like the genre. I liked it.

 

Saturday, Izzy & I went to a meeting with the advisory board for the Safehouse for the Performing Arts here in San Francisco. Izzy has been assisting one of the board members for a while… and I was her ride… but we sat in the meeting & basically, we’re very interested in helping out the organization to promote the arts in the area… and maybe a few other things… but more on that to come. We also had some gyros & dolmathes at a great little Mediterranean place next door called Greek King. Good times!

 

Afterwards, we had made a Costco run in the morning to get food for the week & ingredients for our next batch of boozy goodness… Cyser. Now, you may be asking, “$teve, what the f**k is Cyser?” Well, have you ever imagined what Liquid Love might taste like? Well, it’s a lot like this. Previously, we’d made Mead (honey wine) and it turned out… questionable to say the least. We’d also made Apple Cider with fantastic results. Cyser… is the marriage of apple cider & honey to make an absolutely fantastic alcoholic concoction of which the world rarely sees. Basically for this batch, we got four gallons on 100% apple juice, five pounds of Clover Honey, some yeast nutrients (to help out the yeast & keep them active over long periods of time) and sweet mead yeast. It’s actually really simple. There’s not even a boil or anything involved for bittering, etc. because sanitization is aided by the help of campden tablets before adding the yeast 24 hours later… so yeah, here are some pictures… and the delicious end results will be in a few months…

 

 

Sunday, Izzy & I are beginning to officially walk more… like tracking on apps & stuff. See, I was basically volunteered to head up a walking team at work to promote fitness… and figured it’d be good motivation for me to do stuff like… walk for an hour after I get home from work & change or… get up early and go jogging or… you know, pair with the smoothies & drinking tea instead of Mountain Dew… which by the way has been going great thus far. Anyway, what makes it great motivation is that other people will be kind of depending on me to do it (team environment) and we can support each other… and Izzy of course wants in on it too. So yeah, probably more beautiful walking pictures to come… like this one…

 

Another great thing that happened this weekend… we’re getting to a point where our logo for Terrible Lizard Brewing is coming together… and we’re working on situation to get it in an event near you (if you’re in the Bay Area) but still a lot of hurdles… but without further ado… have a great weekend… and BEHOLD!!! The first real draft of the Terrible Lizard Brewing logo!!!

 

 

Murder, Suicide & Exorcisms

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

 

Friday night, Izzy & I watched a little independent horror-comedy from a few years ago (2007) called “Murder Party” starring… really nobody you’d probably ever know unless you’ve watched this movie. Basically the story is about a kinda lame average guy who stumbles upon a random invitation in front of his apartment reading “Murder Party, (Address), (Time)” so he figures “What the hell?” and goes to check it out… after an epic trek to the middle of the boondocks of the warehouse district… and he meets up with the crazy artsy types (no… really… crazy…) who plan on murdering him at their party. Surprise! What ensues is pretty hilarious & I’d recommend checking it out if you’re okay with LOTS of blood… like comic amounts of it… then doubled. The pacing will seem a little off at times… but check it out… and tell me you won’t want to “borrow” one of their Halloween outfits next year. Sorry, I know it’s a brief description of the movie… but it’s really better if you just check it out… it’s short, sweet & to the point… and I don’t want to spoil anything.

  

Later we also watched “Edge of Tomorrow” starring Tom Cruise & Emily Blunt. The movie is set something like… fifty years in the future… and there’s an alien invasion leading to WAR!!! Calm down “Starship Troopers” fans… this isn’t quite the same thing. The aliens land in the middle of Europe (oddly close to Germany) and have basically spread throughout Europe over a few years (which is really weird since they’re super advanced, incredibly fast & kill almost effortlessly, so why does it take so damn long?) but now they’ve reached the shores of France & England is next. The general of the world’s military forces (nothing unifies a planet like alien invasion) randomly sends a PR guy (Cruise) to the front lines on the beaches of Normandy. Calm down WWII movie fans… this isn’t quite the same thing. Why send him to the front lines? Why not? During the battle, he obviously has no idea what he’s doing… and quickly dies… only to find himself back at base where he woke up earlier that day, reliving the same day over & over again. Yes, it’s basically ”Starship Troopers” meets “Groundhog Day” which is exactly what I’m sure it was pitched as. That being said… the movie is actually a LOT better than I thought it was going to be. The story… though a little on the ridiculous side… is pretty imaginative at least & the action is pretty good. The love story is… well, it could be worse. Cast was good. It’s intense when it wants to be & mildly heart-tugging at other points… all that you really want in an action movie. I’d say check it out if that’s your thing.

 

However, this then begs the question, “Why did this movie not do well in theatres?” Well… I think there’s a few reasons. The one that always gets talked about is the name of the movie – “Edge of Tomorrow”. Face it… that sounds really f**king lame. You know what’s worse though? The edited title/tagline “Live. Die. Repeat.” that’s on all the blu-rays & DVDs. Another pretty big one is the star… Tom Cruise. Either you love him & will watch everything that he stars in… or you really don’t care. Based on the preview, this movie seemed VERY similar to his movie last year “Oblivion” that a bunch of people were apparently tricked into seeing… so maybe they were a little resentful. Third guess… it’s extremely CGI heavy in the previews… and it is in the movie too… but that probably didn’t work too well for it when people are deciding against other summer tent pole movies where they’d have established stories & characters (lots of sequels& reboots) where this was a new, unfamiliar property going directly against some of them. I don’t know… but I’d say check it out.

 

Monday night, Izzy & I watched “Exorcist III” starring George C. Scott & Brad Dourif. This was the 1990 installment of the Exorcist movies. Just a quick recap, the original “Exorcist” from back in 1973 is to this day considered one of the greatest horror movies of all time. How good was it? I feel like there have been hundreds, possibly thousands of exorcism movies made in the past 40 years… and really none of them can hold a f**king candle to it. If you haven’t seen it, you just don’t like the genre & I can understand that. Based on its incredible success & praise, they made a sequel in 1977 called “Exorcist II: The Heretic” starring Richard Burton, Max von Sydow and Linda Blair (the little girl from the original but 18 now… and fun fact: the inspiration for Rick James’ epic ballad “Superfreak”). The only problem was that the sequel was absolute horse sh*t. Then the slasher movies of the 80’s got huge… so fast forward to 1990 and they wanted to give a decent sequel to the original… so they did this installment written & directed by William Peter Blatty, the writer of the novel & screenplay for the original movie. The story follows a police lieutenant (Scott) in Georgetown who is really down as it’s the 15^th anniversary of a good friend of his death… who also happened to be a priest. Apparently back then, there was a serial killer who was murdering up the area… but shortly after his friend’s death, they captured him… and promptly executed him. The only problem is… fifteen years later… more bodies are turning up… and they match him M.O. During his investigation into the murders, he finds another odd thing… his priest friend may still be alive in a mental institution… but is it him? Or just his body? Okay, at this point… I’m just going to stop… and say that if you like horror movies, go check this movie out right now!!! Probably #2 on my Exorcism movie list behind the original… and it’s actually surprisingly close. The key actors are great! George C. Scott is his George C. Scott-iest!!! Brad Dourif is actually pretty f**king amazing as the Serial Killer… and I’d say almost half of the movie is just them at their absolute best… and their scenes together are the stuff of horror legend in my opinion. Okay, go check it out… and if you want spoilers, read the next paragraph. If not, skip down to the picture of the “Suicide Squad”.

 

Spoiler tid bits about this movie: Okay, let’s talk about the weird moments from the movie that I loved! At various points in the movie, there are the eyes opening on a Jesus statue like it’s an American girl doll… another quick scene where the head of THE JOKER is on a Jesus statue… and holy sh*t, the weird dream sequence in the middle of the movie has a Fabio cameo, a few midgets walking around with a clock, and probably the most out of f**king nowhere cameo I’ve seen in a long, long time… PATRICK EWING AS THE ANGEL OF DEATH!!! Yeah… Patrick Ewing… the legendary center for the New York Knicks… just kinda sitting in a hospital bed playing cards or something… with giant ass angel wings… and I feel like Mr. Blatty’s direction was “Okay, Patrick! Just look at George here… with absolutely no expression on your face. Not even a little bit. Can you do it?” No response, even in facial expression. “PERFECT! Aaaaand… action!” There were a few points in this movie that I had to stop, go back a few seconds, and just make sure that my mind wasn’t playing tricks on me. Also, the final exorcism scene… for the most part is pretty damn original & cool… I loved the floor falling out and the people coming out of there with the serial killer victim on the cross, no CGI, just real sh*t… the only problem that I had was the resolution of it all. Okay… so spoiler alert… the priest that you thought was dead isn’t… he grabs the gun& shoots the possessed guy to help free the lieutenant… so he falls to the ground… and the priest is gone. Where the f**k did he go? George C. Scott would’ve fallen right on top of him!!! Anyway, then he grabs the gun & finishes the job or whatever… cut to a few days later when all is well, roll credits. No, no, no. Here’s what really happens. Orderlies & security in the hospital hear gun shots… come to the isolation cell… see George C. Scott standing with a  smoking pistol & two corpses… one is a mental patient… the other is a priest who looks like his face was ripped off. George C. Scott fries y’all!!! I know police nowadays can get away with anything but… there’s really not a good way to make that one look like an accident. What’ll make it even worse is when he tries to explain what happened. “No, you see… this patient who was basically catatonic… he was possessed by a serial killer that I caught 15 years ago… yes I knew the man, he was one of my best friends… get your hands off me!!! I’m not crazy, dammit!!! I saved all of your souls!!!” ZZZZAP!!!

 

Okay, now for the big news... the other night we watched an animated movie called “Batman: Assault on Arkham” primarily because I've watched a few of the DC Comics straight-to-DVD movies... and I saw the preview for this one on another... and it finally came through. Basically it's they're introduction to the Suicide Squad franchise... but working Batman into the story so that people will watch it since few people know who they are (at least until a few days ago). Basically the Joker has hidden a dirty bomb in Gotham... but he's in Arkham Asylum. While Batman is trying to find out where the bomb is... leader of the Agency, Amanda Waller, has brought together a 'suicide squad' comprised of incarcerated supervillains who have a chance at redemption & some time off their sentence... in exchange for getting something for her out of Arkham. Basically, nobody has a reason to trust each other, they all have their own abilities & backstories that may come into play, it's like the perfect anti-hero story... and with that, I'll say check it out... if just for the brief spots of The Batman, Joker & Harley Quinn since that's most of who you'll know... and also, it's kind of a gruff PG-13 animated show. Check it out.

 

Oddly enough, the day after watching this movie... Hollywood has finally announced an official cast for the “Suicide Squad” movie directed by David Ayer ("End of Watch" & "Fury"). In what should prove to be a good, gruff R-rated superhero movie like "Blade", "Watchmen" and others... and based on this cast, I'm even more excited... and here's why.

 

Will Smith as Deadshot – That's right, f**king Will Smith aka the Fresh Prince wants to be a part of this movie. One of the biggest draws in Hollywood is willing to be a part of this thing... and he's going to play a kickass mercenary gun-toting ninja-esque badass. He can kick ass... and probably have some great one-liners and such. Huge fan of it.

 

Tom Hardy as Rick Flagg – I like Tom Hardy as an actor... and hopefully they'll keep the f**king mask inhibiting his ability to speak on this superhero movie as he (like the characters in this movie) gets a shot at redemption from his Bane portrayal. Not that it was absolutely horrible... but it could be better... and he'll be the leader of this group... until there's inevitably some conflict & they have to split up. Just guessing... should be great.

 

Jai Courtney as Captain Boomerang – He's Australian... he's good looking... probably knows his way around a boomerang... really can't complain about this choice... only know him from a few horrible movies... but I'm optimistic... and it was either him or one of the Hemsworths... probably Liam... right?

 

Jared Leto as The Joker - Okay, okay, okay... before anybody says anything... I'm totally okay with (Academy Award-winner, let that sink in a little more) Jared Leto playing the Joker. I was skeptical of Heath Ledger... and he rocked it. I think Jared can be even better. Yes, BETTER!!! Heath's portrayal was DARK... as it was supposed to be... hence why he had so much black eye makeup. However, Jared has those f**king glow in the dark blue eyes... so I'm guessing his portrayal will probably be similarly dark... but much more jovial & wisecracky like you would expect from the acclaimed DC cartoons. Also, I was really scared that it was going to be Jake Gyllenhaal based on his previous work with the director on "End of Watch" or Shia LaBeouf or some shit... can't wait to see how it goes.

 

Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn – We already know this superhottie can pull off the Jersey accent... and now I'm already becoming tumescent thinking about her in the harlequin outfit... and being just absolutely bat sh*t crazy... and the whole relationship with the Joker & the possibilities there... f**k, why can't this movie come out already? This bulge isn't going to take care of itself...

 

Oprah Winfrey as Amanda Waller – Yes, this is still just rumored... but f**k me, this would be absolutely PERFECT!!! Picture it... the super-polished queen of daytime & wholesomeness... playing an absolutely ultrastrong anti-hero character who in spite of not having any superpowers besides her ability to get sh*t done, is telling all these crazy supervillains what's what & busting their balls the whole way... seriously, watch the animated movie... then just picture this lady being played by Oprah in an R-rated Batman with guns... that's worth the price of admission right there. I'm f**king IN!!!

 

Anyway, that's it for this entry... big brewery tour this weekend... pictures coming. Have a great weekend everybody!!!

Daily Fuggle Redactions

d Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

 

How about some more news? Since I don’t have a lot of exciting stuff going on in my world just this moment...

 

My Kind of Coach - It may be the Preseason WNIT semifinals, but the first round is on Louisville coach Jeff Walz, who said he will buy the first 2,500 beers for of-age fans who attend the No. 5 Cardinals' game against No. 14 LSU on Thursday night. Walz's bar tab will come to $5,000. Assistant sports information director Kim Pemberton told ESPN.com on Wednesday that the promotion will take place and that Walz is paying for the beer with his own money. Fans with proper ID will get a voucher for one beer, which they can get at concession stands. "I tried that once in college, but I only got up to about 400 [people]," Walz joked to the Louisville Courier-Journal. "But no, no, no, I've never done that." The Cardinals' basketball facility -- the KFC Yum! Center -- is off campus, and beer is normally sold there for all games. The school said there are no NCAA compliance issues. "We're just trying to have a little bit of a good time here at the ballgame," Walz told the Courier-Journal. "Make sure you have a designated driver if you want to come and have a few of them. It's a little way to say thanks to all our adults who come and support us, and we're just trying to get some of our fans who haven't come out to come on out one time and get a drink and enjoy the ballgame and hopefully grab the attention of a few more fans." Amy Morgan, Louisville's assistant athletic director for marketing, told the paper that the promotion was Walz's idea. "It shows his commitment to the program and his desire to grow the program and expose as many fans as possible to their play on the court," she said. Two things. First, great idea coach! Were I within a thousand miles of Kentucky, I’d definitely consider coming to see the game. Secondly, wait… is that $2 per beer? Have I really been in San Francisco that long where that sounds like an absolutely STEAL??? Here, if you find $5 beer, you’ve basically found your bastion for nights out on the town… but then again, I’ve become a bit of a beer snob. Still though… like PBR is $3 happy hour specials and stuff like that. Hence… why I’m starting to make my own… and then perhaps sell some down the road once I have an established business… but yeah… great promotion coach! I hope it works out for you & the Lady Cardinals!

 

Toronto Mayor - Toronto's embattled mayor, Rob Ford, insisted on Wednesday he has zero tolerance for drugs and gangs, but also admitted he has bought illegal drugs in the past two years. Let that sink in for a moment. Speaking at a City Council meeting during which members almost unanimously urged him to take a break from his job, Ford said he cannot change his past actions, which include acknowledged use of crack cocaine. But he asserted his intention to continue to work as mayor so he can carry out his promise to save money for Toronto taxpayers. Asked if he had bought illegal drugs in the past two years, he replied somberly: "Yes, I have." Ford, elected in 2010 on a promise to end the City Hall "gravy train", admitted last week that he had smoked crack cocaine in "one of my drunken stupors". Wednesday's call for him to step aside came in council's first meeting since that admission. "Our city's reputation has been damaged and continues to suffer," City Councillor Jaye Robinson read from a non binding petition signed by 30 of the city's 44 councilors, and passed by a vote of 41 to two. "Together we stand to ask you to step aside and take a leave of absence to address your challenges privately outside of the public eye." Right, like that’ll happen now. Councilors will vote later on a separate motion that asks Ford both to take a leave of absence and to apologize for "misleading" Toronto residents… by telling the truth? Council has no power to force the mayor to step down or take a break unless he is convicted of a crime, and Ford insists he has no plans to go, or to seek treatment. "I am not an addict of any sort, so I am not quite sure why you are saying that I need help," he told councilors during an hour-long grilling that centered on his fitness to remain the city's chief magistrate… by the way, at the taxpayer’s expense since we (the royal hypothetical we of Canada) are paying taxes. "I can understand how people would perceive my behavior. The reason I drank or did drugs was not because of stress, it was out of sheer stupidity. That's all it was." As the questions continued, hundreds of protesters gathered outside City Hall, many of them calling on Ford to step down… while millions continued with their daily lives. An Ipsos-Reid poll conducted for several TV and radio stations showed that 76% of Toronto voters think Ford should step down or take a leave of absence, while only 24% agreed with Ford's insistence on staying in his job… but these are among people who didn’t insist they were on a no-call list & to never call them with surveys.  The scandal of the crack-smoking mayor broke six months ago, when the Toronto Star newspaper and media blog Gawker said they had been shown a video of the mayor smoking crack, an allegation that Ford spent six months denying. Toronto Police Chief Bill Blair has since confirmed the video exists, and Ford admitted earlier this month that he had indeed smoked crack. The events brought back memories of the scandal that enveloped former Washington, D.C., mayor Marion Barry after he was filmed smoking crack in 1990 (and reelected a few years later, ‘MERICA!!!). Ford's admission has made him the target of late night-talk show jokes and put the international media interest on Toronto, including extensive coverage of Wednesday's City Hall debate on U.S. networks. Asked on Wednesday if more embarrassing revelations could come, Ford said: "As far as I know... you don't know if people are videoing this or doing that. I don't know what's out there right now. But everything that I'm aware of is out there." Last week, the Star bought a separate video that showed Ford in an expletive-laden rant, making threats to unspecified persons and pounding his hands together. Ford apologized and admitted he was "extremely inebriated". But more information is likely. A Superior Court judge on Wednesday ordered the release of more details from a police investigation that resulted in drug-trafficking and extortion charges against Ford's friend and part-time driver Sandro Lisi. A heavily redacted 474-page file was released two weeks ago and showed police had had the mayor under close surveillance for months, and had recorded numerous meetings with Lisi in parks and other venues. The judge ruled on Wednesday that some of the redacted portions be revealed. Ford said on Wednesday that his lawyer had advised him not to cooperate with police investigations. So… yeah, Toronto’s mayor may be in a bit of hot water… but whatever. The real question is… Is he doing his job? Or rather, was he doing his job well before all this came out & he spent 90% of his day answering reporter’s f**king questions & the other 10% eating ham & smoking crack? What are the results? Do we ever really hold our public officials responsible for their results? If you just spent your entire time at work going around & shaking hands & kissing babies when you were supposed to be helping the economy, infrastructure, schools, etc… wouldn’t you be fired? Yes… maybe if you were smoking crack on the job, that’s usually pretty quick case for HR… but if that’s it, then kick him out… and any other official whose doing this stuff. If not, or there’s no protocol for it, then shut the f**k up & let him do his job. He obviously has work to do in helping run the capital of Canada. “Ey hoser, the capital of Canada is Ottawa, eh!” And the capital of California is Sacramento but who gives a flying f**k??? My point still stands.

 

Navajo Bronze? Burnt Injun? – Two of my favorite things to talk about in this one… Marketing Strategies… and alleged racism. Club Sun Color Studios, a tanning salon based in Alabama raised controversy by posting an ad on its Facebook page promoting a Thanksgiving tanning special they were running. As reported by WPMI Local 15, the ad many find offensive shows a brunette woman dressed in a Native American costume next to a blonde woman with lighter skin dressed in a pilgrim costume. It reads: “The Indians brought more than just ‘corn’ to the first Thanksgiving…they brought Sexy ‘Color!’”

Club Sun Color Studios' controversial Facebook ad

 

I’m not exactly sure why the word ‘corn’ is in quotes, but Club Sun representatives stated that they did not mean to offend the public with their sunless spray tan advertisement. David Arnett, Marketing Director of Club Sun apologized for the ad and said, “I myself am Native American, and I am very proud of my heritage and skin tone. The thought process behind the ad was simply a play on my own ‘sexy color.' Again, I apologize for any offense and misunderstanding." Wait, David Arnett? I’m going to have to Google whether he’s really Native American or not. If so… Alabama? Tanning Salon? Really? Anyway, the ad is now gone from the Club Sun Color Studios Facebook page (yet all over the internet somehow… hmmm… maybe he really is a marketing director). WPMI asked Mobile, Alabama resident Ebony Monigan what she thought about controversy and she said, "Whether he's a Native American, the words still offend people." The station also spoke to Club Sun’s Vice President of Sales, Larry Andrews who said that the message was simply on an “Innocent in-house flyer,” adding, "I think this day and time people look for something to complain about and something to, to stir, stir the pot. I mean, if they would look for more positive things in life we'd have a much better Thanksgiving and holiday season." Despite that statement, Club Sun representatives said that they would be cautious about future ads. Probably a good plan… then again, it’s making the rounds on the website… and I guess they have a point, no matter how offensive it may be… a little melanin tends to give a sexy tone.

 

HOW Is This Surprising? - A two-year-old girl has been severely burned in suburban Atlanta in a freak accident after gasoline poured on an outdoor slide to make it slicker ignited from static electricity, police said on Tuesday. The toddler and her four-year-old sister were playing on a swing set on Saturday when the gasoline was put on the slide (WHAT?), said Keith Brooks, chief deputy of the Walton County Sheriff's Office. Investigators do not know which of the two siblings poured the gasoline (Wait, WHAT??? A 2 year old or a 4 year old poured the gasoline???) but determined, after finding no other ignition source, that static electricity sparked the blaze, Brooks said. "This was a freak accident. It's definitely strange that something like this would happen." ARE YOU F**KING INSANE??? It’s strange… that gasoline would ignite? HOW??? The two-year-old was flown by helicopter to a hospital in Atlanta and put into a medically induced coma to help her cope with the pain from her critical injuries, Brook said. Grady Health System, the hospital where she was taken, declined to comment on her condition on Tuesday. No charges are expected to be filed, the chief deputy said. Sigh… it’s tragic… it’s certainly tragic but… is this a thing? Does this happen at kids parks all over America & I just don’t know about it? “Well $teve, a gallon of gasoline only costs about $4 & it decreases viscosity on the slide so that you can go quicker… like a water slide.” Doesn’t water cost like… five cents a gallon? “Well yeah but… gasoline is much more slickerier… and water evaporates too quickly here in Georgia.” Uh-huh… so because water evaporates faster… and don’t get it twisted, gasoline evaporates too… and it’s vapor is highly explosive… but because water evaporates, you pour highly flammable gasoline on a children’s plaything so that they can slide down at a faster velocity? “Yes’r.” Okay, well… I guess if an adult is handling the gasoline then it’s… “Oh no s’r… the kids tend to handle that all by themselves.” (stunned silence) “I said the kids tend to…” I F**KING HEARD YA!!! Not sure what to say about this story other than to pose a question. We’re smart, right? Human beings? We’re capable of incredible things, right? Highly intelligent & all that? Just checkin’…

 

Batman Update - A Singaporean man with an unusual superhero-like name turned out to be a villain who consumed drugs and stole from his brother. Batman bin Suparman, which means Batman son of Suparman in the Malay language, was jailed on Monday for two years and nine months for various offences including stealing his brother's automated teller machine card to make withdrawals, media reported. The 23-year-old unemployed man had also broken into the office of a firm in western Singapore to steal money and taken heroin. Batman, who has his own fan club on Facebook, became a social media sensation after an image of his identity card with his unusual name was circulated online. You’ve all seen it. Keep your eyes out for a Tosh.0 Web Redemption down the road… I’m guessing at Six Flags over Singapore or something with the DC Comic characters involved in an intervention. It could happen. Stay away from heroin kids… it can even turn Batman and/or Superman into a pitiful being turnin’ tricks to get their next fix. Hmm… I think I just had an idea for an interesting spin-off… The Dark Knight Sniffs starring a coked-out Bruce Wayne. Patent pending.

 

Anyway, that’ll do it for tonight. Have a great day everybody!!!

Chinatown to Chinatown

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

 

Pretty standard week thus far… Dizzy’s aunt has a retirement party this weekend… but aside from that, just getting excited for our trip to Utah next week. Free agency has been crazy in the NBA. The Warriors somehow convinced the Jazz to take on some dead weight contracts so they could get Andre Iguodala, which makes them a BEAST if they stay healthy. Aside from them & the Brooklyn Nets, everybody else seems to either be content with what they have or bailing on this year in hopes that they can get a good draft pick and/or free agents next summer. Management can’t really say it… but basically about three-quarters of the NBA seems to mark this year up as a loss, presuming that the Heat will dominate or something & they’re gearing for the next few years. Is it wrong? To tank in the present so that you can compete for the next few years (allegedly)? Eh… whatever, they’ll get their money because people will still pay… and that’s what really matters, right?

 

NBA 2K13 Update: No tanking for the Milwaukee Bucks in the 2013-2014 season in my virtual reality. We swept through the Celtics & 76ers. Now facing the Heat in the conference finals, then probably (barring the computer doing what it likes to do & making my team do random stupid things & the other team do amazing impossible things) the winner of the Lakers & Suns (GASP!!!) in the NBA Finals. My money’s on the Lakers since… well, they like to match me up directly against the best small forwards & two-guards like Paul Pierce, LeBron James, Kevin Durant & Kobe Bryant on a regular basis. I’m quickly becoming a defensive powerhouse to match my marksmanship on the offensive end now that I’ve figured out part of their ridiculous system. Oh… and I just turned 21 on the game so… I may be a hot commodity on the free agent market soon.

 

Monday night, the new roommate… we’ll call her Temp (since she won’t be around long) watched the Roman Polanski-directed film “Chinatown” starring Jack Nicholson, Faye Dunaway & John Huston. This is a classic film noir movie in the same vein as the Bogart pictures from back in the day… you know, private detective, dame in distress, lies, double crosses, murder, corruption, all that jazz. The story basically starts when a private investigator (Nicholson) is hired to catch a cheating husband… only he later finds out that it wasn’t the real wife (Dunaway) that hired him… it was somebody else… and now to save his reputation & business… and maybe his pride, he wants to get to the bottom of why he was played a fool. Also, the husband that he was found dead after drowning during a major drought… so now, he’s caught in a tangled web of corruption, power, money, wealthy family drama, and all that other stuff. The movie was shot splendidly to match the feel of 1940’s Los Angeles even though it was made in the early 70’s… and appropriate storytelling for the genre. I’ve only seen a few Polanski flicks (“The Ninth Gate” & “Carnage” recently) but he seems to thrive on keeping the audience in a state of confusion & unsettlement so that they better personify with the main characters… even when the characters have less than desirable traits. It’s a great system & it seems to work for him… now if he could just stop diddling teenagers he might be considered among the elite filmmakers… but hey, we all have our vices I guess. The flick is great. I’d say check it out. It’s on Netflix. You’re welcome. Here’s the news…

 

SF to LA in half an hour? – That’s right… there coming up with a way to go from Chinatown to Chinatown more rapidly. Commuting is a way of life for most Bay Area residents. Many people traveling from the East Bay to downtown are accustomed to an hour commute each way without traffic. Some people even commute to Southern California several times a month, spending several hours each way either in the car or fighting through airports. What if there was an alternative to flights and car rides? If it was up to Tesla CEO Elon Musk and a Colorado company, an answer could come sooner than we think. That answer is called… the Hyperloop System Musk, the man behind both Tesla Motors and SpaceX, has spoken about a high-speed transportation system known as the Hyperloop, a tube transport system that would allow passengers to travel at high speeds. The proposed system could reduce trips between San Francisco and Los Angeles to minutes, and reaching the East Coast from California could take under an hour. Okay, calm down, let’s hear it out. Crazy as it seems, the company ET3, based out of Longmont, Colorado, has already been hard at work making this a reality, calling their project the Evacuated Tube Transport. Yes… I’m thinking about Futurama too… it’s perfectly natural… but still, let’s hear it out.

 

How Does It Work? The Hyperloop has been vaguely described by Musk as a "cross between a Concorde, a rail gun, and an air hockey table." Well f**k, I’m sold!!! A better description might be an elevated tube system with a magnetic levitation system similar to high-speed bullet trains. The kicker would be the enclosed tube, which would provide a nearly friction-less surface for individual capsules to travel in. ET3's Hyperloop-like project already has a number of schematics and plans already in place. They claim an automobile-sized, six-passenger capsule constructed for "outer space" travel conditions could easily reach speeds of 4,000 miles per hour on longer journeys across the country or across continents. In theory, this elevated tube system could be built for a tenth of the cost of high-speed rail and a quarter the cost of a freeway (numbers which I’m sure will change once reality sets in). The projected cost for a passenger to travel from Los Angeles to New York is $100. (WHAT??? ON A BUS??? What do you base those numbers on? I want that deal. It says $299 on Greyhound’s as I type this) The tubes could be connected to form a new superhighway across the United States. They could go underwater and connect to Alaska, Hawaii, and the rest of the world… and then the moon. Oh, NOW you think I’m crazy? Anybody remember the proposed “elevator to space”? ET3 has already built mock-ups and prototypes and is planning a 3-mile test run by the end of 2013.

 

Expanding on Older Ideas - Despite the ingenuity of the idea, it isn't actually that new. In 1972, a paper written by physicist R.M Salter described a tube system known as the Very High Speed Transit System (VHST) that could send people across the United States in under an hour. The system was composed of a series of underground tubes arranged in a network across the country. While several technical problems existed with the idea at the time (no sh*t), Salter also concluded, "The general principles are fairly straightforward: electromagnetically levitated and propelled cars in an evacuated tunnel." The one primary difference between Salter's plan and ET3's is that the VHST would need to be underground, with massive amounts of excavation required. If the Hyperloop or Evacuated Tube Transport was built and succeeded, it could make California's current high-speed rail project obsolete. With a budgeted cost of $70 billion, the high-speed system currently under development would take passengers from San Francisco to L.A. in three hours, potentially six times slower than the Hyperloop. So what do you think? Bullet train going 150 MPH or riding one of those bank tubes at roughly five times the speed of sound? No coin rolls please. Yes, in theory, it’s a great idea… and I look forward to the results of their tests… but yeah, it’s up there with Hoverboards, Teleporters, Dilithium crystal-powered warp drives, Metachlorians, Hypersleep chambers, Unobtainium, Flying Cars, Death Rays, Death Stars, Weather Dominators, Unicorns, Pegasuses (Pegasi?), Dragons, and just about everything else that’s in “test phase” as it’s been for many, many, many years. Still, it’s an awesome concept… good luck, Mr. Musk!

 
 

Batman Update – Batman is more than a man… he’s a symbol… a myth… a legend with which some can use for good… or evil. Unfortunately, some young whippersnapper has briefly taken the symbol for evil. A 16-year-old boy wearing a Batman shirt and mask broke into a building at the Colorado State Fair… then turned himself in to police after seeing his likeness on the news. The Pueblo Chieftain reported that the boy is one of three accused of breaking into the Fair's VIP building early Thursday. The trio took televisions, a laptop and an empty cash register (Wah wah…). The suspects managed to lock themselves in the building and had to break out. KRDO-TV aired surveillance video of the suspect dressed as Batman. After the video aired, the boy turned himself in to police.  Authorities plan to seek charges including burglary and criminal mischief. The boy wasn't named because of his age (doubting it was Bruce Wayne… but wouldn’t that be funny). Spoiler alert: Police were still seeking the other two suspects… who unfortunately weren’t dressed as Superman and the Flash as part of Pueblo’s bizarroworld Injustice League (patent pending). By the way, this story just made me think of my dream from a few years back… and I’m thinking that I may have to see about turning that into a little bit of a comic (so that DC can sue me down the road for using their characters & get their cut, which I’m okay with… after expenses). I’ll keep you posted on that one… and now we need a story of a Batman saving people. I wonder if he was involved in that plane crash at SFO this weekend… the world may never know.

 

Why Soccer Sucks #523 – Now, I consider myself a fairly passionate sports fan. You may also agree that soccer fans are among the more passionate sports fans in general as well. Yes, I said soccer, so it’s not mistaken for REAL football. Obviously there are players in the NFL that… are basically horrible human beings. Just watch any episode of Sportscenter over the past 15 years or so… and I’m guessing there’s at least one reference to yet another player assaulting, murdering, stealing from, running over or shooting at somebody else (or themselves if your name is Plaxico). However, the game itself is typically not life or death (that comes afterwards with the head injuries) like it is with soccer. The latest tale: One man has been arrested in northern Brazil after a referee who fatally stabbed an amateur player over his refusal to leave the field was decapitated by a mob, police said on Saturday. I didn’t make that up. Referee… STABBED a player. Why? Because he wouldn’t leave the field. Repercussion for the referee? Trial? Discipline? Nope. Decapitation! Basically it's the equivalent of the "Fail Mary" referee then stabbing Golden Tate... and the Seahawks crowd ripping him to shreds. Instead, I think they met up earlier this week to "hug it out" or something. Twenty-year old referee Octavio da Silva stabbed the thirty-year old player Josenir dos Santos on June 30^th after dos Santos refused to heed his order to leave, police spokesman Kena Souza told Reuters. A mob then turned on da Silva, killing him before severing his head in the remote town of Pio XII, named after a former pope (pope during WWII). A 27-year-old man was arrested on July 2 and police in the regional headquarters of Santa Ines will continue to investigate the incident, Souza said. Brazil has made significant strides in lowering homicide rates in recent years, as millions were lifted from poverty (and placed in poverty adjacent further away from the town center), but it faces mounting pressures to show it is a safe place for tourists before 12 Brazilian cities host the 2014 soccer World Cup and Rio de Janeiro the Olympic Games in 2016. In Rio de Janeiro on the day of the brawl, Brazil's national team handily defeated Spain in the Confederations Cup, considered a test run for next year's much bigger championship. The eight-team tournament was marked by an unexpected wave of demonstrations, some violent, in part to protest the $14 billion being spent on World Cup preparations amid a lack of adequate public services. So yeah… Brazil isn’t prospering as a nation… but hey, they’ve got the World Cup & Olympics coming. Look at what that did for Athens in 2004!!! Anyway, angry dads at little league games don’t seem so bad now, do they?

 

 

Apocalypse Update – My God! This may be the most frightening update yet… the evil reptile would-be overlords have become aware… and our using our own infrastructure against us. A French post office employee had the fright of her life when a meter-long (3.3-foot) python slithered quietly out of a parcel and rubbed against her. The woman was alone in the post office in the village of Blenod-les-Pont-a-Mousson (which I believe means “Village of the Mouse Pants” in French… Lilie?) in eastern France on Friday evening when she felt the chilling caress and screamed for help. Firemen caught the fugitive reptile and discovered a second one in the parcel. The pair were identified by a vet as ball pythons - non-aggressive snakes that coil up into a tight ball when threatened - and donated to a nearby zoo. "They're not dangerous but they're very impressive," an officer said. Ball pythons are popular with snake enthusiasts as pets but are also a protected species for which owners need a legal certificate stating they have not been taken from the wild. Customs officers raided the home address, in France, of the parcel's sender, where they found no certificates but two other snakes, a stuffed caiman and a stuffed turtle which the owner had been trying to sell over the Internet. The post office stressed that its terms and conditions clearly forbade the shipping of animals, live or dead… and I’m sure the offenders were given a stern talking-to as opposed to a fine or felony or something. What does this mean? Certainly these miniature ball pythons were test subjects… like sending monkeys into space first… test the waters to see if their heads would explode before the mass transportation of weaponized viper squads throughout the world. They may have to reconsider their strategy after being caught… but perhaps that’s just a few “biohazard” stickers away. They’re cunning… they’ve been around since the dinosaurs… they’ve already survived a few apocalypses that they may or may not have had a hand in… so they’ll do what it takes. We just have to be ready. Be careful out there opening your packages. Always have a machete ready. Besides… it helps with opening the package sometimes too.

 

Anyway, that’ll do it for today. We’ve discussed basketball, movies by pedophile directors, bullet trains to hell (LA), Batman going bad, deadly soccer mobs & slither bombs. Kind of a busy day for most blogs… but not for us… and just think, it was a slow past few days. Have a great day everybody!!!