GO SEE "ROPE"!!!

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

 

It’s been a busy few days with SF Beer Week activities and some minor household issues (leakage in rental apartment) but aside from that… pretty nice. Here’s just the rundown on a few movies that we saw over the week… and a special trip into the jungle… sorta.

 

First up is Alfred Hitchcock’s classic “Rope” starring Jimmy Stewart. Two college chums kill a former classmate in their apartment in the first few seconds… place his body in a trunk… and then immediately hold a dinner party with his family & friends… placing some of the food & decorations right on the trunk in the middle of the room… to pull off the “perfect crime”. I’m still not quite sure how that part was going to work out… but this was made in 1948. Maybe it was a LOT easier to get away with murder back then. Anyway, one of the friends invited though… is their former college instructor (Stewart) who starts to suspect a few things as the evening progresses… and the guest of honor doesn’t show. Now, it’s a fairly simple premise & obviously adapted from a play (since it takes place all in one room over the course of about 80 minutes). However, as you may have heard, Hitchcock knows how to properly build suspense… and is a master of the craft of moviemaking. The entire movie is maybe a dozen (or less) continuous shots of dialogue, following them across the room, other actors entering & exiting, while maintaining the focus of the audience’s attention exactly where it needs to be. One of my favorite scenes in particular, is one towards the end when the party is wrapping up… and the camera basically focuses with the trunk on the left, the hallway to the dining room, and off camera to the right is the actors that you’re hearing. The maid is cleaning up the presentation on top of the trunk… and over the course of about three minutes, the camera doesn’t move… she’s cleaned off the trunk… and now is heading back with some books to place in the trunk… GASP!!! Okay, so to stop right there, go check this movie out. Like right now! If you haven’t seen it & you like suspense movies, rent this & see how it’s done. Great flick! I’d happily watch it again. Besides… it’s Jimmy Stewart in his prime…

 

Next up was “30 for 30: The Price of Gold” which is ESPN’s sponsored documentary about the 1994 attack on figure skater Nancy Kerrigan that was later found to be linked to rival skater Tonya Harding and her husband Jeff Gilluli among others. This film focuses on Tonya Harding from growing up in Portland, Oregon… being raised as a bit of a blonde lower-middle-class tom boy… rising the ranks of the figure skating world… and after just missing out on the 1992 Winter Olympics… now she had another chance in 1994… but it wasn’t going to be easy. You’ve all heard the story I’m sure. During trials, Nancy Kerrigan is whacked in the knees by an unknown attacker… then within days, it’s found that the whole thing was orchestrated by Tonya’s husband Jeff Gilluli… but then it’s a question of “Was Tonya behind it?” There’s a lot of hearsay & circumstantial evidence… so Tonya is allowed to go to the Olympics… with Nancy who trained ferociously to go (in place of Michelle Kwan). However, this movie goes into a little more detail than even I knew… so yeah, definitely give it a gander. It’s worth it. It’s quite the interesting character study if you want to put it that way.

 

Last up is “Harlem Nights” starring Eddie Murphy & Richard Pryor. Murphy also wrote, produced & directed the movie… so you know it’s good, right? Sugary Ray (Pryor) owns an illegal casino in 1930’s Harlem and along with his trusted right-hand man Quick (Murphy), they struggle against a lot of organized crime, corrupt cops & other factors trying to force them out of business. It was recommended by Max on Netflix as an action-comedy… and with a cast featuring these two comedy legends as well as Redd Foxx, Arsenio Hall, Miguel Nunez, Della Reese and yes… even Charlie Murphy, it did have its funny moments. However, it was not exactly rip-roaring fun by any means. Mostly it was just a lot of curse words… some somewhat funny scenarios, but poorly executed… and a few parts were just plain bad. And no, I didn’t go into this movie expecting it to be a true-to-history piece about 1930’s Harlem or anything like that… but yeah, it just wasn’t that thrilling. The most disturbing part I think was watching the Madame played by Della Reese (“Touched by an Angel”) and just… well, she’s horribly foul-mouthed… gets in a street fight with Quick… just not exactly what you’d expect from Della. I’d say pass on this one… but thought that I’d share it with you.

 

Saturday, while running around during SF Beer Week, we stopped by Easy Bay Vivarium (reptile habitat) because… you may not know this… but Dizzy loves animals. Basically anything with four legs or less, she considers absolutely adorable… even reptiles. Don’t worry, I took a few pictures of some of the selections readily available at this establishment for you… and we'll call it an APOCALYPSE UPDATE on the size of some of these bastards...

 

"THAT'S A HUUUGE B**CH!!!"

We also stopped by an aquarium where...

they were obviously slashing prices by...

about .04%

Anyway, that’ll do it for this entry. GO SEE ROPE!!! Have a great weekend everybody!!!

Daily Fuggle

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

 

Tuesday & Thursday nights, I hung out with Dizzy, her mom & her aunts… Tuesday we had a nice impromptu dinner at the aunt’s house… and then Thursday they came into the city and we had a few brews & dinner at Rogue Ales Public House. Aside from that, not a whole lot to report on… except maybe some NEWS!!!

 

Reamed by the Man - A New Mexico man has filed a lawsuit claiming police subjected him to repeated anal probes and enemas after a routine traffic stop because they suspected he was hiding drugs. David Eckert, 54, claims violations of his civil rights in the lawsuit, which was filed in U.S. District Court in New Mexico in August but not made public until this week, his lawyers said on Wednesday. "This suit is about stopping officers and doctors from subjecting people in their custody and control to unlawful sadistic medical procedures that violate the most intimate parts of the human body," attorney Shannon Kennedy said (man or woman this Shannon Kennedy?). The legal action stems from Eckert's treatment by police after he was pulled over in January for failing to come to a complete stop while exiting a Wal-Mart parking lot in Deming, New Mexico. Officers suspected that he was hiding drugs in his anus, based on the way he was standing and the fact that a police dog alerted to his driver's seat, and obtained a search warrant "to include but not limited to (plaintiff's) anal cavity," according to the lawsuit. After a medical facility in Deming refused to carry out the procedures, Eckert was taken to Gila Regional Medical Center in nearby Silver City, the lawsuit says, where he was forced to undergo eight searches - including digital penetration of his anus, three enemas, two X-rays and a colonoscopy. So… two… maybe THREE searches wasn’t enough? Ultimately, no drugs were found, according to the complaint, which says that the Gila Regional Medical Center billed Eckert for the services it performed. Yup, that’s the best part in my opinion… he got billed for his own institutional rape… just like anything else involving the police or government. Named in the lawsuit are the city of Deming, its police department, officers involved in the incident and the Gila Regional Medical Center. Representatives for the Deming Police Department and the Gila Regional Medical Center could not be reached for comment on Wednesday. Deming Police Chief Brandon Gigante told local KOB-TV, "We follow the law in every aspect and we follow policies and protocols that we have in place." Don’t worry, I suspect that we’ll all be paying for the police’s mistakes yet again through tax dollars.

 

Zombies & Other Crazy Stuff - A California man shot dead after breaking into a young family's suburban home over the weekend had ranted about zombies hours before he showed up screaming threats in their backyard and smashed into their house, authorities said on Monday. The Orange County Sheriff's department said that 22-year-old Paul Michael Bracamontes was killed in the affluent community of Yorba Linda by a homeowner who awoke before dawn on Sunday to find him screaming in the backyard. The homeowner, whose wife and infant were inside the house, shot Bracamontes after he broke in through a glass door before police were able to respond to an emergency call, authorities said. "He was making threats to harm the homeowners and said that there were five more people out front that were going to harm them," Lieutenant Jeff Hallock of the Orange County Sheriff's Department said. "We're sure those other people didn't exist." Great police work. Hallock said the man's relatives told authorities that he had been hallucinating at a party on Saturday evening and had made several "inappropriate" comments about zombies to a family member. I’m curious what appropriate comments about zombies would be in this situation. Hallock said, "He indicated that he needed or wanted a gun before leaving the party. The next thing they knew, he was gone and that was the last they heard or saw of him." Hallock would not say how many shots were fired (hopefully at least two full clips with at least two more in case the five other guys existed) but confirmed the gun used was registered to the homeowner, who he said was "very upset" about the incident. Authorities said the homeowner would not be charged because he acted in self defense (at least they got that right). Authorities were looking into whether drugs or alcohol may have been involved… or Bracamontes was just ass crackers crazy. Hallock could not say if Bracamontes had a history of mental illness… but at the same time, think about how many certifiably insane people you know that don’t have a documented history of mental illness simply because nobody cares to fill out the paperwork & pay the fees associated with it. The couple told deputies they did not know Bracamontes. The Los Angeles Times reported that Orange County Superior Court records show that Bracamontes was charged with public intoxication in January 2013, but the case was dismissed in April. Food for thought about mental health awareness… but I don’t think they have their month yet.

 

Platypus Update - Thanks to a large ancient tooth, an Australian university student has filled in an evolutionary gap with a giant carnivorous platypus that became extinct at least 5 million years ago. That’s right… coming to a SyFy Channel near you… it’s a giant carnivorous prehistoric platypus in… “PLAT-ATTACK!!!” Working title. Before the discovery, fossil records suggested only one species of platypus inhabited the Earth at any one time, with the creatures becoming smaller and the size of their teeth reducing through time. "A new platypus species, even one that is highly incomplete, is a very important aid in developing understanding about these fascinating mammals," palaeontology student Rebecca Pian said in a statement. Pian was working on a collection of fossil deposits from the Riversleigh World Heritage Area in northern Australia when she discovered the species through a highly distinctive oversized tooth. Details will be published this month in the Journal of Vertebrate Palaeontology. Based on the size of the tooth, the extinct species was probably about a metre (39 inches) long, nearly three times the 38 cm length of the modern platypus. Named "Obdurodon tharalkooschild", it was identified in a deposit that has not been dated yet but is likely to be between 5 million and 15 million years old. "Rebecca was the first one to realize there was a monster hiding among the normal fossil platypuses," Professor Mike Archer from the University New South Wales told Reuters. "This was a very dangerous animal. If people had been around at this time, you would want to see signs posted at the pool saying 'Don't swim here: Gigantic monstrous human-eating platypus'." Gotta love those Aussies & their sense of humor… sorry, humour. While the furry mammals with the duck-like bills give a cute and cuddly impression, male platypuses have spurs on their hind legs that inject a ferocious poison. Today the platypus is endemic to eastern Australia, including Tasmania, but Obdurodon tharalkooschild inhabited South America, Antarctica, north and central Australia. The paper that will be published next week was co-written by Pian, Archer and Associate Professor Suzanne Hand of the University of New South Wales. If you thought platypus was Nature’s Clusterf**k before… now just imagine them over three feet long, weighing a few hundred pounds and thirsting for manflesh! That’s some crazy Lord of the Rings sh*t right there!

 

World Without Ice – This article hyperlink is pretty cool… it’s an overhead map view of what the planet would look like if all the world’s ice at the caps melted and the seas rose 216 feet. Florida & most of Louisiana would be gone… and there’s be a huge bay formerly known as central California bread basket. Other fun things… London, Venice, Amsterdam, Bangladesh, Antartica, homes of over 600 million Chinese, all gone. Australia would also have a nice sea right in the middle of it. Anyway, click on the link & check out some of the pictures… pretty interesting I think.

 

Anyway, that’ll do it for today’s news updated. Have a great day everybody!!!

Don't Let Go

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

 

It’s been a very busy few days… but I’ll catch you up briefly. First & foremost, Dizzy & my first batch of homebrew is going along splendidly thus far through it’s first fermentation process… and it seems to have so much SCIENCE going on the first few days… that we may be able to move to 2^nd fermentation this weekend (to give it that crisp, clear, clean appearance). Obviously we’ll keep you posted… since we’re both pretty excited about it.

 

My newest roommate Red Sox has just been a beast going through & getting the apartment cleaned up and ready to go in her first few weeks with us. She’s already arranged for a decently priced cleaning lady, we’ve gone through the living room & kitchen to clean up as best we can in preparation for her, and we’ve been establishing some ground rules for picking up after ourselves with the other roommates… and I already like it because she’s very proactive & doesn’t really hold back, whereas I’m a little more chill & “don’t want to step on anybody’s toes” but I’m quickly getting over that. I like this way better. Sh*t gets done! So yeah… it’s nice having a clean apartment & not have to passive-aggressively tell somebody to pick up their shoe collection that has gathered in the living room. Yay!

 

Both my niece & nephew are in school now, Vinny’s in kindergarten & Kairi’s in the 1^st grade (so actual full 7-hour days now) and they both seem to be loving it… and even my brother seems to enjoy it when I chat with him. Of course he’s still telling me that I need to get a PS4 & all the newest games on the PS3 so that we can blow up cops & rob banks or whatever… but yeah, he seems to be doing okay. Now if he could just get a job & stop living off my mom that’d be REALLY awesome.

 

My dad is needing his knee replaced… finally. The mixture of a life full of strenuous physical activity, above average height & age has finally caught up with him… and all the cartilage & tendons in his knee have been pretty shot for a while… but the doctor basically said there was no more that he could do… so he should be getting one of his knees replaced soon… and I assume the other isn’t too far behind. I’ll admit… it really sucks to see my dad (and other men that I respect in my life that are older than me, like uncles, Wingman, etc) who have their bodies starting to fail them… and it’s a kinda grim reminder that we’re all mortal (believe it or not) but you just have to appreciate the things that you have now & enjoy them while they last. Don’t worry, not going to get all sentimental & that jazz… but yeah, hopefully it all works out for them… and can’t wait to seem my dad or the others again as soon as possible, preferably by Christmas.

 

On Netflix, I stumbled upon this documentary called “Klitschko” about the heavyweight champion boxing brothers Vitali & Wladamir Klitschko from the Ukraine. Now, I didn’t really get into boxing until after Mike Tyson had lost his f**king mind, Evander Holyfield & George Foreman were well past their prime… and basically Lennox Lewis & Nasim Hamed were the key figures with this guy Roy Jones who was coming up… so not the greatest time ever. However, I watched this guy named Vitali Klitschko a few times on HBO… and it blew me away. It seemed so effortless for him… it was like watching Ivan Drago from Rocky IV but just with pure precision in his jab, very patient & kept his head away from his opponent (didn’t hurt he was a fellow Eastern European giant), almost instinctual dodging of … and then once he got his wore his opponent into a haze, he would just destroy them with jab/hook combos & they’d fall down. Then there was the Lewis-Klitschko fight where it was a bloody mess (and Lewis definitely helped by dragging his laces on an open brew wound) but yeah, always respected him as a fighter. Then his younger brother Wladamir came to be a champion as well as Vitali was succumbing to age.

 

This documentary basically follows them from growing up in the Ukraine (apparently near Chernobyl) behind the Iron Curtain of communism… and then being introduced to Western life via kickboxing tournaments in Miami & the 1996 Olympics in Atlanta… and then how they went into the pros & enjoyed the highest highs and lowest lows… all backed by a strong family bond. It’s really an incredible story & I highly recommend that you check it out. Warning: There will be a lot of subtitle reading because they speak a lot of German. Yes, German. Not Russian. I thoroughly enjoyed this movie.

 

However, I think my favorite movie so far this year was one I watched last night called “Gravity” starring Sandra Bullock & George Clooney, directed & written by Alfonso Cuaron (“Children of Men”). I’m sure that you’ve all seen the previews for the premise… and I’ve been anticipating this movie since I first heard of the premise a while back. Basically, a team of astronauts is aboard a space station when a satellite thousands of miles away is destroyed… but the resulting orbiting debris heads their way like giant bullets and destroys their space station… and now they’re essentially marooned in space & have to find their way back. The tone of this movie was amazing is just establishing the atmosphere of the isolation, physical discomfort, your senses being shot, and just constant dangers in every aspect of being in the cold vacuum of space. I don’t want to spoil anything but the effects, sound, everything seemed almost perfect to keep the theme alive, keep the audience entertained & enthralled. The only part I thought was odd was one part where Sandra’s character says the thing she likes best about space was the silence… and that basically cued a musical score, which I thought was odd… but hey, it still worked. Oh… and I’m pretty sure that Sandra Bullock will be nominated & probably win her SECOND Academy Award. It still feels weird to say that for Ms. Wildcat from “Speed” but… yeah, great movie. Go see it… in 3D if you can. It’s amazing… and only like 80 minutes too. Other than that, not much else going on… so here’s some news about the Apocalypse…

 

Apocalypse Solution? - Florida officials trying to eradicate the Giant African Land Snail, one of the world's most destructive invasive species, plan to deploy a new weapon in the battle - Labrador retrievers. State agriculture authorities say they hope the dogs will add to their success in fighting an infestation of the slimy snails, which were first spotted by a homeowner nearly two years ago and quickly swept through the Miami area. On Wednesday, officials said that since the start of an aggressive extermination campaign they have collected 128,000 of the snails, which can grow as big as rats and devour plants as well as stucco and plaster in a hunt for calcium they need to grow their big shells (which can probably also be sold to finance other projects). In large numbers, the snails can cause extensive structural damage to buildings. "We see a lot of strange things in Florida and this one makes the top of the list," said Florida Agriculture Commissioner Adam Putnam. "It is a very serious pest." Putnam said $6 million has been spent so far to eradicate the munching mollusks, which may have been introduced to Florida by a Miami Santeria group, a religion with West African and Caribbean roots that was found in 2012 to be using the snails in its rituals. That’s right… they’re blaming Africa… get used to the idea. The snails can carry a parasitic rat lungworm that can cause illness in humans, including a form of meningitis, although no such cases have been identified in the United States… but it COULD happen, therefore panic. To stamp out the snails, a team of 45 people regularly fans out across Miami, sometimes using rakes and getting down on their hands and knees to hunt for them. The snail fighters are also using bait, chemical treatments and experimental traps to root out the mollusks, helped by phone calls from local residents who report sightings. Joining them soon will be canine detectors, including a Labrador retriever being trained to sniff out the snails. "They're very good at detecting the Giant African Land Snail," said Richard Gaskalla, the head of plant industry at the Florida Agriculture Department. "So we're building four-legged technology into this program as quickly as we can." The Giant African Land Snail has no natural predator (salt?), posing a challenge to eradication efforts. But it can give off a strong odor that dogs can be trained to detect. Officials showed off a black Lab named Bear who is expected to soon wrap up his three-month training and start accompanying the snail hunters. Two other Labradors are also expected to be trained, they said. Officials say they believe they have contained the snails to the Miami area. Gaskalla said the program was showing success, with a sharp drop in numbers found. "The number of detections this last year were in the thousands; now they are down to around 200 to 300 a week," he said. So why haven’t they started doing this earlier? And for the snake species that threaten our very existence? Perhaps the dogs aren’t strong enough or can’t traverse the swamps? Perhaps they don’t have the amount of large mutts able to take on this load? Perhaps they’re afraid that their new army of trained canine assassins could turn on their masters? In either case, at least they can use them to hunt down giant snails.

 

Saturday, Dizzy & I will be probably doing beer stuff… then going to see Bubbles race with her dragon boat team at Treasure Island… and then probably more beer stuff (cleaning & preparing bottles for our first batch of wholesome goodness). So yeah… should be a good little time… and the weather’s supposed to be gorgeous as usual out here. Have a great weekend everybody!!!

The Winter of Our Diss Contest

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

 

Well… once again, I’ve recently been inspired. Still doing the comic book thing (slowly but surely since… well, I can’t draw), writing up a storm, character development, twists, storyboarding, all that fun stuff (at least fun to me). However, the brew-making thing has really been triggered, so I’m getting started on that too to see how it goes. Starting small scale… but I’ve already got a plan in place for… let’s just say slightly larger plans. However, I do know that there’s a LOT of steps between now & the goal… but I’m not going to get there just thinking about it.

 

Another thing… apparently I’ve got to get to all of this quick because… well, just read these stories of TERROR!!!

 

Utah Apocalypse Update - Firefighters arrived at a Utah home to put out a blaze started by a kitchen range and discovered more than flames — 28 snakes, six of them deadly. The man didn't have a permit for the six venomous snakes (five rattlers and a gaboon viper) and he may face misdemeanor charges for keeping them without a permit. The viper, native to Africa, is considered one of the most dangerous in the world with potent venom. The snakes were inside cages in a separate room and were removed as firefighters quickly put out the blaze on Friday in Clearfield, about 30 miles north of Salt Lake City (and about two miles from my junior high school). "I don't think firefighters were ever in danger from the snakes, except for the creep factor," said North Davis Fire Chief Mark Becraft. The poisonous snakes were confiscated by the Utah Division of Wildlife, where Capt. Tony Wood was trying to determine their fate… and whether to cite the owner. "I'm just trying to wrap my head around the situation," he said Monday. Fire and smoke damage left the man's duplex uninhabitable, Becraft said, but all the snakes survived. The owner took his 22 other legal snakes for safekeeping to his father's house, Davis County Animal Control Director Clint Thacker said. The seized rattlers will probably be released into the wild, and the viper could be sent to someone authorized to have it, said Jim Dix of Reptile Rescue of Tooele County. Repeat: The poisonous snakes will be released back into the wild… because it’s not safe for them to be in the hands of an unlicensed snake owner… who already has a few dozen snakes. The owner has been described variously by officials as a snake professional or breeder. Dix said the snakes were well fed, in good condition and that there was no threat to anyone in the neighborhood… so obviously they can only put them back into the wild. "We are seeing a big increase in illegal animals in Utah. It just goes on and on." That’s just racist! Oh wait, he’s still talking about snakes… I think. Dix said he was working with Utah officials to designate "amnesty" days for unlicensed owners who are willing to turn over exotic animals (for sell to licensed owners that they pocket I’m sure). Earlier this year, Cottonwood Heights police cited a young man for failure to have an exotic pet permit and initially ordered him to get rid of all but one of his 29 boa constrictors he kept in special room in his basement with top-of-the-line cages. The Cottonwood Heights City Council later gave him a reprieve, allowing Thomas Cobb to keep his snakes while officials revisit the city code. Cobb still has the snakes he says are worth $12,000 apiece, and is waiting a resolution from city officials, Cottonwood Heights Police Sgt. Mark Askerlund said. That’s about $350,000 if that’s really the value (though I doubt it). F**k, maybe breeding the Apocalypse is the business to be in… or perhaps these simple men are being FORCED to breed the New Army! Those unsuspecting fools (aka cops) are walking right into a trap by releasing the most deadly of them back into the wild… my God, it’s a brilliant plan! These f**king snakes are getting smarter every day! And the news is backing it all up…

 

Apocalypse Ninjas - The deaths of two young boys who police believe were killed by an African rock python while they slept at a friend’s apartment has rattled the northern New Brunswick city of Campbellton where the children were remembered Tuesday as fun-loving free spirits. Noah and Connor Barthe, aged four and six, were found dead Monday morning after the 45-kilogram snake escaped its enclosure in the apartment, slithered through a ventilation system above and fell through a ceiling into the living room where they were sleeping, police said. Their uncle said the boys were spending the day with family friend Jean-Claude Savoie, who took them shopping and to a farm (those mysterious ones from the declaration form?) where they played with lamas, goats, horses, dogs and cats before they returned to his apartment for a sleepover. Paul (Little Ray) Goulet, founder and co-owner of Little Ray’s Reptile Zoo in Ottawa, said snakes don’t recognize humans as a source of food, but if the children smelled like animals, it could explain an attack. “If a snake sees an animal moving, giving off heat and smells like a goat, what is it? It’s a goat. This is the reasonable explanation of how this has happened is that they had been playing with farm animals, they did smell like their prey items and the snake sadly enough mistook them as a food item when they weren’t.” Relatives and friends of the boys and their family said they could not fathom what happened. “It’s like a bad dream,” said Shawna MacEachern, who has been a friend of the boys’ mother, Mandy Trecartin, since childhood. “She loved her babies. They meant everything to her. She was an awesome mother. They were both so sweet. They were fun-loving typical little boys.” The Royal Canadian Mounted Police (as seen in “Due South”) said the boys were found dead Monday at around 6:30 a.m. in an apartment located above Reptile Ocean, an exotic pet store. The Mounties initially said that the 4.3-metre long snake escaped from the store at some point during the night, but on Tuesday Sgt. Alain Tremblay said it escaped its floor-to-ceiling glass tank inside the apartment through a vent, allowing it to escape through a ventilation pipe… but the snake’s weight (about a hundred pounds) caused the pipe to collapse and fall into the living room where the boys slept on a mattress, Tremblay said. The RCMP said Monday they believe the snake strangled the boys, but Tremblay said Tuesday investigators are waiting for the results of an autopsy on the children as well as a necropsy on the snake before commenting further on the cause of death. Asked why anyone in the apartment didn’t appear to have heard anything, Tremblay said that was still under investigation. “It’s something the investigators are going to talk to people about and we are not there yet,” he said. The snake was later captured by Savoie, who also owns Reptile Ocean. It was later put down by a veterinarian and sent for a necropsy in Fredericton to help determine what may have prompted it to attack the boys, Tremblay said, adding that the RCMP have enlisted the help of a reptile expert from the Magnetic Hill Zoo in Moncton, N.B., for their investigation. This story is REALLY fish... but a truly tragic story… and not just for the death of two small boys… but that these monsters are taking them out two at a time… and stealthy… like giant scaly ninja dragons! I tell ya, they’re getting smarter… and bigger… and DEADLIER!!! Soon they won’t even need ventilation ducts… they’ll make their own…

 

Apocalypse Sinkhole - A sinkhole has caused a section of a Florida resort villa near Disney World to partially collapse, while another section of the villa is sinking, authorities say. About 30% of the three-storey structure collapsed before dawn last Monday, Lake County Fire Rescue Battalion Chief Tony Cuellar said. The villa at the Summer Bay Resort had been evacuated, and no injuries were reported. The sinkhole was about 12 to 15 metres in diameter, Cuellar said. The villa houses 24 units, and about 20 people were staying in it, Cuellar said. Authorities were called to the scene, about 16 kilometres west of Disney World, late on Sunday and found that the building was making popping sounds and windows were breaking. In an interview aired on ABC's Good Morning America, Maggie Ghamry, a guest at the resort, said that when she first heard the noises, she thought it might be kids running down the hall. "Next thing I know, people are yelling, 'Get out of the building, get out of the building'," she said. A large crack was visible at the building's base. Luis Perez, who was staying at a villa near the sinking one, said he was in his room when the lights went off around 11.30pm on Sunday. He said he was on his way to the front desk to report the outage when he saw firefighters and police outside. "You could see the building leaning, and you could see a big crack at the base of the building," he said. Florida has a long problem with sinkholes, which cause millions of dollars in damage annually. On March 1, a sinkhole underneath a house swallowed a man who was in his bed. His body was never recovered. Where does a sinkhole come from? Scientists may tell you one thing… but I think we all know that it’s yet another weapon on the utility belt of the Serpent Army… burrowing and digging out the foundations of buildings with their great strength & plentiful numbers in Florida. I’m sure amongst the pops & cracking noises… there was plenty of hissing as well. Sure, you say “Yeah… probably a ruptured gas line” and you may be correct… but will that console you when you’re in the belly of a python? I think not…

 

Anyway, that should do it for today. Just us next time when we… well, it’s a surprise… to us all. Have a great weekend everybody!!!

Vote Love August 4th!!!

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

 

IT’S FRIDAY, FRIDAY, GETTIN’ DOWN ON FRIDAY!!! LOOKIN FORWARD… TO THE WEEEKEEEEND!!! PARTYING, PARTYING YEAH!!! PARTYING, PARTYING YEAAAAAH!!! FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN… Yes ladies & gentlemen, it’s the weekend. Huzzah & hurray! A week from now, I’ll be back in the land that birthed me… the Beehive state… the State of Deseret… Life Elevated… Mormon Mecca… yes, UTAH!!! It should be fun… but that’s next weekend… and this weekend includes retirement parties, great temperate weather, and let’s face it… we’re lucky to be alive!!! Now without further adieu, let’s get this thing started…

 

NBA 2K13 Update: The Milwaukee Bucks have now won TWO consecutive NBA Championships after we beat the Heat in the Eastern finals in five games (game one was ridiculous, up 13 going into the 4^th, inbounder would literally hand them the ball when he wasn’t throwing it directly out of bounds, they couldn’t miss, we couldn’t make, continued into overtime, still only lost by 3) and then swept the Phoenix Suns in the Finals. Yes, ladies & gentlemen, the Phoenix Suns & Milwaukee Bucks played each other in the simulated 2014 NBA Finals… and they even had pretty much the same rosters with the exception of me… and you were scared that it might be Spurs & Pacers in real life just last month. The intense matchups of Jared Dudley vs. Ersan Ilyasova… certainly household names (though they kinda should be, they’re great role players). Oh, I won the Finals MVP… here are some pictures from my visit to the White House… I’m the white guy behind Obama & far stage left… hmm... same suit as the style magazine... who dresses me?

 

Apparently they exercised a third year option on my rookie contract (that I never got to negotiate) so I’ll probably be leading them to a three-peat. The ball hogs (Ellis & Jennings) are still on the team doing their thing… but I’m learning the tricks to get the ball from them at least once in a while… and try to rack up assists as well. Basically a handful of games into the season, I’m averaging nearly twice the points that 2^nd in the league is… so I think I’ve figured out how to get the MVP awards, etc now. We shall see. Also… guess who’s the new cover boy for NBA 2K14???

 

...and Sports Illustrated for Kids talking 'bout FEAR!!!

...and on Jordan billboards

Apparently in this universe, Chris Paul is with the Cavs

& Carmelo went to the Suns AFTER the lost to us in the FInals

 

Small Town Mayor – Supporters of the mayor in the tiny tourist town of Dorset, Minnesota can stuff the ballot box all they want as he seeks re-election. The mayor (a short guy) is known for his fondness of ice cream and fishing. And he's got the county's top law enforcement official in his pocket. Say hello to Mayor Robert "Bobby" Tufts. He's 4 years old and not even in school yet. Bobby was only 3 when he won the election last year as mayor of Dorset (population 22 to 28, depending on whether the minister and his family are in town). Dorset, which bills itself as the Restaurant Capital of the World, has no formal city government (or claim to the title they’ve bestowed upon themselves obviously). Every year the town draws a name during its Taste of Dorset Festival, and the winner gets to be mayor. Anyone can vote as many times as they like — for $1 a vote — at any of the ballot boxes in stores around town. Bobby is running for a second term, and he gets to draw the winning name August 4^th, so it's possible he could draw his own name. God I love politics… and the lottery… and this is their bastard child. Calls of "Mr. Mayor" greet Bobby as he strolls around Dorset, handing out his campaign card. One side shows Bobby, his dark hair slicked down, wearing his tan fishing vest over a suit jacket. The other side shows Bobby sitting in a porch swing with his girlfriend, Sophie. "I would love to be your Mayor as much as I love Sophie," the card reads. "He's been pretty good. Lotta PR for the town," said his mother, Emma Tufts, 34. "I think he's doing a fine job."

 

Bobby's job as mayor is to greet people as they come to Dorset, located among the pines and lakes of northern Minnesota about 150 miles northwest of Minneapolis. Resorts and tourism are the main industry, and restaurants ranging from Mexican to Italian to family style line about two blocks on either side of the highway that runs through the middle of town. Bobby's major act as mayor so far has been to make ice cream the top of the food pyramid. He has many favorite flavors. "Chocolate. And vanilla. Strawberry. Cotton candy kind. And rainbow sherbet," said the mayor. On a recent steamy summer morning, Bobby skipped ahead as he led a group of about 20 children and adults on a walk on the Heartland Trail to raise money for Ronald McDonald House Charities of the Red River Valley in Fargo, N.D. He wore his signature black fedora, adorned with fishing lures and a large button with his photo, and seemed endlessly energetic. "I think he's a cute little bugger and I think a lot of people share the same, you know, opinion as me, and it's neat," Hubbard County Sheriff Cory Aukes says (not sure if Cory is male or female). "You know, how often do you see a little kid like that who's — call 'em camera-friendly or whatever, you know — he's got a very good little personality, and he's not afraid to show it. So I think it's great."

 

Well Mr. Mayor, your f**king days are numbered! I don’t know about you… but in MY America, you can’t BUY VOTES!!! Votes are determined by the people… and tallied… not drawn out of a hat like a rigged lottery (looking at you, David Stern!) by the very hand of who it determines. Worse yet… you promote your horrible diet to children of all ages. ICE CREAM? Clogging arteries with empty calories from fat? Business cards showing you living in sin with your girlfriend? And fishing while on the job claiming to run your city? Well, I may not have the experience of being “mayor” as you do… but I’ve got hair on my chest (and sack) and a lot more experience at LIFE and balancing a budget… not suckling at the teet of my parents while everybody else in my community are forced to work as dishwashers & waitresses for minimum wage just get by. Citizens of Dorset! You no longer have to live under this charismatic dictator’s rule! Hope is on the way… Love is on the way… and Hell’s coming with him!!! Vote Love August 4^th!!!

 

 

Seriously though, I really do want to challenge a 4-year old to a political debate for the mayor of a small town that I’ve never been to. I feel like it would be an interesting inspection of the political process.

 

Love: “My fellow candidate Mr. Robert ‘Bobby’ HUSSEIN Tufts… believes that dinosaurs & dragons… are real. Meanwhile, my dedicated team of scientists & I are hard (bang) at (bang) work (bang) MAKING (bang) THEM (bang) A REALITY!!! Through Science!!!”

Tufts: “What’s science?”

Love: “DID YOU HEAR THAT, ladies & gentlemen? Mr. Tufts doesn’t even know… what science is… surely, spending too much time on the lake fishing for dollars to buy votes… or laaaaaazing about with his girlfriend… who by the way, records will show… IS AN UNDERAGE MINOR!!!”

Tufts: “What’s a minor?”

Love: “Either it’s somebody who digs for precious minerals… or somebody that is not of age in GOD-FEARING society!!! Sophie is a sweet little lady… but too young to be in cahoots with a political figure such as yourself.”

Tufts: “You have a girlfriend. I met her at the lake. Her name is Dizzy and she’s pretty and made me a sandwich and taught me how to draw a kitty and she…”

Love: “Yes, but she is of LEGAL AGE!!! Citizens of Dorset, is this the man… nah, CHILD that you want running your city? Diddlying the whole day long with minors? Can’t even shave nor vote? No experience?”

Reporter: “But Mr. Love, you don’t have any prior experience eith…”

Love: “I ASK YOU!!! Nay, I PLEAD with you… help me kind this child molester from representing YOU!!! Vote Love August 4^th! Thank you! Praise Christ!”

 

For years I’ve wanted to run for an office… almost as a gaff. You know, have a camera crew around me for “behind the scenes” stuff too where it’s abundantly transparent that I don’t really have a stance or a plan… other than to make the other person uncomfortable & explain their stance or plan. Alternatively, there’s also the idea that I would actually have a stance & plan… but still call out bullsh*t against my poor opponents who are just pretty faces… and maybe throw in a couple random movie quotes or song lyrics off the fly to try to get a rise out of people & the interwebs. Any publicity is good publicity, right?

 

Motown Morons – A Detroit man driving an armor-plated military-type vehicle and firing what appeared to be a machine gun mounted on top caused a ripple of panic on the Fourth of July. It turned out the weapon was a modified World War II .50-caliber machine gun that had been converted to fire compressed gas. It produced bright flashes and loud gunfire sounds as the driver, a man in his 40s, drove around Shelby Township. Recordings of a series of 911 calls capture the fear of residents whose reports of the imposing sight sent officers swarming late Thursday. In one call, bangs similar to the sound of gunshots can be heard (I’m assuming along with cries of “WOOHOO AMERICA!!! F**K YEAH!!!”). Police say they arrested the driver and confiscated his vehicle. He was released Friday. Charges are pending. The real question though… is when’s police auction for that vehicle? There’s a thin line between Patriotism & Stupidity… and apparently it’s located about ten miles outside of Shelby Township, Michigan. As cool as it sounds to do something like that… just remember that people get shot all the time for just walking around with Skittles, so driving an armored car with a 50-cal machine gun could draw some REAL enemy fire. Sad thing is… had I access to an armor plated vehicle with a 50-cal… I’d probably done the same thing. Praise Christ!

  

Apocalypse Update - Australian police were mystified by a chaotic crime scene including a hole in the ceiling and a smelly pool of vomit-like liquid… until they found the culprit was a 5.7-meter (19-foot) python. The massive snake weighing in at 17 kilograms (37 pounds) was captured a day after a suspected burglary was reported at a charity store in Queensland in northeastern Australia. "Its head was the size of a small dog," Police Sgt. Don Auld said Wednesday. Before they found the python, investigators' working theory was that a human burglar with an appetite for destruction (and a serious illness) had gone on a rampage inside the St. Vincent de Paul store in the small town of Ingham. "We thought a person had fallen through the ceiling because the roof panel was cut in half," Auld said. "When they've hit the floor, they've vomited and then staggered and fallen over. That's what we thought anyway." Police now suspect the python entered the store through the roof, which was damaged in a cyclone two years ago. The animal then plummeted through the ceiling, knocking over dishes, clothes and other items, before relieving itself on the floor. It somehow managed to hide from officials until staff spotted it lying alongside a wall the next day. A local snake catcher was called in to capture the reptile, which has been relocated to nearby wetlands. That’s right… they’re climbing walls & coming in through the ceiling now… like f**king cat burglars… and apparently can swallow small dogs whole if they wanted. Why would this python attack an Australian thrift shop? Perhaps to find some sheets & socks to prepare for the cold battle during the Winter of our Discontent… The Final Battle… They’ve attacked us at Land & Sea for years, then took to the skies aboard (mutha f**kin’) aircraft… and soon they’ll be parachuting down around us… perhaps joining forces with other animal hordes… and even Michael Bay’s CGI explosions won’t be able to save us!!! Get me the rednecks with the 50-cal machine guns!!! It’s ON!!!

 

Anyway, that should do it for today’s rants about a parallel basketball universe, signs of the Apocalypse in Detroit & Australia, and verbally berating a 4-year old for my own amusement. It’s been grand. Have a great weekend everybody!!!

Chinatown to Chinatown

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

 

Pretty standard week thus far… Dizzy’s aunt has a retirement party this weekend… but aside from that, just getting excited for our trip to Utah next week. Free agency has been crazy in the NBA. The Warriors somehow convinced the Jazz to take on some dead weight contracts so they could get Andre Iguodala, which makes them a BEAST if they stay healthy. Aside from them & the Brooklyn Nets, everybody else seems to either be content with what they have or bailing on this year in hopes that they can get a good draft pick and/or free agents next summer. Management can’t really say it… but basically about three-quarters of the NBA seems to mark this year up as a loss, presuming that the Heat will dominate or something & they’re gearing for the next few years. Is it wrong? To tank in the present so that you can compete for the next few years (allegedly)? Eh… whatever, they’ll get their money because people will still pay… and that’s what really matters, right?

 

NBA 2K13 Update: No tanking for the Milwaukee Bucks in the 2013-2014 season in my virtual reality. We swept through the Celtics & 76ers. Now facing the Heat in the conference finals, then probably (barring the computer doing what it likes to do & making my team do random stupid things & the other team do amazing impossible things) the winner of the Lakers & Suns (GASP!!!) in the NBA Finals. My money’s on the Lakers since… well, they like to match me up directly against the best small forwards & two-guards like Paul Pierce, LeBron James, Kevin Durant & Kobe Bryant on a regular basis. I’m quickly becoming a defensive powerhouse to match my marksmanship on the offensive end now that I’ve figured out part of their ridiculous system. Oh… and I just turned 21 on the game so… I may be a hot commodity on the free agent market soon.

 

Monday night, the new roommate… we’ll call her Temp (since she won’t be around long) watched the Roman Polanski-directed film “Chinatown” starring Jack Nicholson, Faye Dunaway & John Huston. This is a classic film noir movie in the same vein as the Bogart pictures from back in the day… you know, private detective, dame in distress, lies, double crosses, murder, corruption, all that jazz. The story basically starts when a private investigator (Nicholson) is hired to catch a cheating husband… only he later finds out that it wasn’t the real wife (Dunaway) that hired him… it was somebody else… and now to save his reputation & business… and maybe his pride, he wants to get to the bottom of why he was played a fool. Also, the husband that he was found dead after drowning during a major drought… so now, he’s caught in a tangled web of corruption, power, money, wealthy family drama, and all that other stuff. The movie was shot splendidly to match the feel of 1940’s Los Angeles even though it was made in the early 70’s… and appropriate storytelling for the genre. I’ve only seen a few Polanski flicks (“The Ninth Gate” & “Carnage” recently) but he seems to thrive on keeping the audience in a state of confusion & unsettlement so that they better personify with the main characters… even when the characters have less than desirable traits. It’s a great system & it seems to work for him… now if he could just stop diddling teenagers he might be considered among the elite filmmakers… but hey, we all have our vices I guess. The flick is great. I’d say check it out. It’s on Netflix. You’re welcome. Here’s the news…

 

SF to LA in half an hour? – That’s right… there coming up with a way to go from Chinatown to Chinatown more rapidly. Commuting is a way of life for most Bay Area residents. Many people traveling from the East Bay to downtown are accustomed to an hour commute each way without traffic. Some people even commute to Southern California several times a month, spending several hours each way either in the car or fighting through airports. What if there was an alternative to flights and car rides? If it was up to Tesla CEO Elon Musk and a Colorado company, an answer could come sooner than we think. That answer is called… the Hyperloop System Musk, the man behind both Tesla Motors and SpaceX, has spoken about a high-speed transportation system known as the Hyperloop, a tube transport system that would allow passengers to travel at high speeds. The proposed system could reduce trips between San Francisco and Los Angeles to minutes, and reaching the East Coast from California could take under an hour. Okay, calm down, let’s hear it out. Crazy as it seems, the company ET3, based out of Longmont, Colorado, has already been hard at work making this a reality, calling their project the Evacuated Tube Transport. Yes… I’m thinking about Futurama too… it’s perfectly natural… but still, let’s hear it out.

 

How Does It Work? The Hyperloop has been vaguely described by Musk as a "cross between a Concorde, a rail gun, and an air hockey table." Well f**k, I’m sold!!! A better description might be an elevated tube system with a magnetic levitation system similar to high-speed bullet trains. The kicker would be the enclosed tube, which would provide a nearly friction-less surface for individual capsules to travel in. ET3's Hyperloop-like project already has a number of schematics and plans already in place. They claim an automobile-sized, six-passenger capsule constructed for "outer space" travel conditions could easily reach speeds of 4,000 miles per hour on longer journeys across the country or across continents. In theory, this elevated tube system could be built for a tenth of the cost of high-speed rail and a quarter the cost of a freeway (numbers which I’m sure will change once reality sets in). The projected cost for a passenger to travel from Los Angeles to New York is $100. (WHAT??? ON A BUS??? What do you base those numbers on? I want that deal. It says $299 on Greyhound’s as I type this) The tubes could be connected to form a new superhighway across the United States. They could go underwater and connect to Alaska, Hawaii, and the rest of the world… and then the moon. Oh, NOW you think I’m crazy? Anybody remember the proposed “elevator to space”? ET3 has already built mock-ups and prototypes and is planning a 3-mile test run by the end of 2013.

 

Expanding on Older Ideas - Despite the ingenuity of the idea, it isn't actually that new. In 1972, a paper written by physicist R.M Salter described a tube system known as the Very High Speed Transit System (VHST) that could send people across the United States in under an hour. The system was composed of a series of underground tubes arranged in a network across the country. While several technical problems existed with the idea at the time (no sh*t), Salter also concluded, "The general principles are fairly straightforward: electromagnetically levitated and propelled cars in an evacuated tunnel." The one primary difference between Salter's plan and ET3's is that the VHST would need to be underground, with massive amounts of excavation required. If the Hyperloop or Evacuated Tube Transport was built and succeeded, it could make California's current high-speed rail project obsolete. With a budgeted cost of $70 billion, the high-speed system currently under development would take passengers from San Francisco to L.A. in three hours, potentially six times slower than the Hyperloop. So what do you think? Bullet train going 150 MPH or riding one of those bank tubes at roughly five times the speed of sound? No coin rolls please. Yes, in theory, it’s a great idea… and I look forward to the results of their tests… but yeah, it’s up there with Hoverboards, Teleporters, Dilithium crystal-powered warp drives, Metachlorians, Hypersleep chambers, Unobtainium, Flying Cars, Death Rays, Death Stars, Weather Dominators, Unicorns, Pegasuses (Pegasi?), Dragons, and just about everything else that’s in “test phase” as it’s been for many, many, many years. Still, it’s an awesome concept… good luck, Mr. Musk!

 
 

Batman Update – Batman is more than a man… he’s a symbol… a myth… a legend with which some can use for good… or evil. Unfortunately, some young whippersnapper has briefly taken the symbol for evil. A 16-year-old boy wearing a Batman shirt and mask broke into a building at the Colorado State Fair… then turned himself in to police after seeing his likeness on the news. The Pueblo Chieftain reported that the boy is one of three accused of breaking into the Fair's VIP building early Thursday. The trio took televisions, a laptop and an empty cash register (Wah wah…). The suspects managed to lock themselves in the building and had to break out. KRDO-TV aired surveillance video of the suspect dressed as Batman. After the video aired, the boy turned himself in to police.  Authorities plan to seek charges including burglary and criminal mischief. The boy wasn't named because of his age (doubting it was Bruce Wayne… but wouldn’t that be funny). Spoiler alert: Police were still seeking the other two suspects… who unfortunately weren’t dressed as Superman and the Flash as part of Pueblo’s bizarroworld Injustice League (patent pending). By the way, this story just made me think of my dream from a few years back… and I’m thinking that I may have to see about turning that into a little bit of a comic (so that DC can sue me down the road for using their characters & get their cut, which I’m okay with… after expenses). I’ll keep you posted on that one… and now we need a story of a Batman saving people. I wonder if he was involved in that plane crash at SFO this weekend… the world may never know.

 

Why Soccer Sucks #523 – Now, I consider myself a fairly passionate sports fan. You may also agree that soccer fans are among the more passionate sports fans in general as well. Yes, I said soccer, so it’s not mistaken for REAL football. Obviously there are players in the NFL that… are basically horrible human beings. Just watch any episode of Sportscenter over the past 15 years or so… and I’m guessing there’s at least one reference to yet another player assaulting, murdering, stealing from, running over or shooting at somebody else (or themselves if your name is Plaxico). However, the game itself is typically not life or death (that comes afterwards with the head injuries) like it is with soccer. The latest tale: One man has been arrested in northern Brazil after a referee who fatally stabbed an amateur player over his refusal to leave the field was decapitated by a mob, police said on Saturday. I didn’t make that up. Referee… STABBED a player. Why? Because he wouldn’t leave the field. Repercussion for the referee? Trial? Discipline? Nope. Decapitation! Basically it's the equivalent of the "Fail Mary" referee then stabbing Golden Tate... and the Seahawks crowd ripping him to shreds. Instead, I think they met up earlier this week to "hug it out" or something. Twenty-year old referee Octavio da Silva stabbed the thirty-year old player Josenir dos Santos on June 30^th after dos Santos refused to heed his order to leave, police spokesman Kena Souza told Reuters. A mob then turned on da Silva, killing him before severing his head in the remote town of Pio XII, named after a former pope (pope during WWII). A 27-year-old man was arrested on July 2 and police in the regional headquarters of Santa Ines will continue to investigate the incident, Souza said. Brazil has made significant strides in lowering homicide rates in recent years, as millions were lifted from poverty (and placed in poverty adjacent further away from the town center), but it faces mounting pressures to show it is a safe place for tourists before 12 Brazilian cities host the 2014 soccer World Cup and Rio de Janeiro the Olympic Games in 2016. In Rio de Janeiro on the day of the brawl, Brazil's national team handily defeated Spain in the Confederations Cup, considered a test run for next year's much bigger championship. The eight-team tournament was marked by an unexpected wave of demonstrations, some violent, in part to protest the $14 billion being spent on World Cup preparations amid a lack of adequate public services. So yeah… Brazil isn’t prospering as a nation… but hey, they’ve got the World Cup & Olympics coming. Look at what that did for Athens in 2004!!! Anyway, angry dads at little league games don’t seem so bad now, do they?

 

 

Apocalypse Update – My God! This may be the most frightening update yet… the evil reptile would-be overlords have become aware… and our using our own infrastructure against us. A French post office employee had the fright of her life when a meter-long (3.3-foot) python slithered quietly out of a parcel and rubbed against her. The woman was alone in the post office in the village of Blenod-les-Pont-a-Mousson (which I believe means “Village of the Mouse Pants” in French… Lilie?) in eastern France on Friday evening when she felt the chilling caress and screamed for help. Firemen caught the fugitive reptile and discovered a second one in the parcel. The pair were identified by a vet as ball pythons - non-aggressive snakes that coil up into a tight ball when threatened - and donated to a nearby zoo. "They're not dangerous but they're very impressive," an officer said. Ball pythons are popular with snake enthusiasts as pets but are also a protected species for which owners need a legal certificate stating they have not been taken from the wild. Customs officers raided the home address, in France, of the parcel's sender, where they found no certificates but two other snakes, a stuffed caiman and a stuffed turtle which the owner had been trying to sell over the Internet. The post office stressed that its terms and conditions clearly forbade the shipping of animals, live or dead… and I’m sure the offenders were given a stern talking-to as opposed to a fine or felony or something. What does this mean? Certainly these miniature ball pythons were test subjects… like sending monkeys into space first… test the waters to see if their heads would explode before the mass transportation of weaponized viper squads throughout the world. They may have to reconsider their strategy after being caught… but perhaps that’s just a few “biohazard” stickers away. They’re cunning… they’ve been around since the dinosaurs… they’ve already survived a few apocalypses that they may or may not have had a hand in… so they’ll do what it takes. We just have to be ready. Be careful out there opening your packages. Always have a machete ready. Besides… it helps with opening the package sometimes too.

 

Anyway, that’ll do it for today. We’ve discussed basketball, movies by pedophile directors, bullet trains to hell (LA), Batman going bad, deadly soccer mobs & slither bombs. Kind of a busy day for most blogs… but not for us… and just think, it was a slow past few days. Have a great day everybody!!!