Well, the family made it safe and sound last night...and within an hour, the apartment that I spent a few days cleaning up and babyproofing had been completely destroyed. I'd love to show you pictures...but that'll probably be tomorrow's post...and there are a LOT of cute ones. Last night, after spending a few hours getting the kids ready from spending all day in the truck to so excited to see their Uncle $teve they literally crapped their pants to my stepdad taking a nap to changing into their other clothes, we finally made it over to the Cheescake Factory for dinner. I had these wonderful little things called Buffalo Blasts that were like spicy chicken wontons...and Chicken Marsala...and my niece Kairi wanted to hug me instead of eat. She's such a cutie. We also walked through some of the Christmas lights that they already had up...so the kids loved that. Again, pictures tomorrow probably.
By the way, I'd like to say that a streak is finally over. Which one you ask? Well, last night, I shared my bed with a beautiful girl...and she was there when I woke up the next morning. I know, I know, thank you, thank you...but please sit down. It was only because my niece Kairi wanted to snuggle and sleep in the big bed...and she loved that I had mirrors and stuffed animals all over the place. The next morning, Vinny wanted to play on the bed too. Who knew that my bed could be a Jungle Gym for kids of all ages? Anyway, pictures tomorrow...and I've gotta get back to helping cook dinner...so here's some tasty news bits in honor of Thanksgiving. Bon appetit!!!
New Recipe Book - This one comes courtesy of our good friend Lilie (who's thinking about starting her own blog soon...hopefully in English) about a new cookbook for those looking for that little extra something in their meals. I'm going to warn you, the ingredients are not for everyone...but I would highly recommend reading the comments of patrons of the book. They're quite hilarious and insightful into their personal lives. After reading, enjoy your gravy...
Really? Farting? - A student at a Florida school has been arrested after authorities said he was "passing gas" and turning off his classmates' computers. According to a report released Friday by the Martin County Sheriff's Office, the 13-year-old boy "continually disrupted his classroom environment" by intentionally breaking wind. He then shut off some computers other students were using. The Spectrum Junior-Senior High School student was arrested November 4th. A school resource officer placed the boy under arrest after he confessed about his behavior, according to the report. He was charged with disruption of school function and released to his mother. Now, the kid may be a prick…but arrested for flatulence? Maybe he was just trying to save the environment by turning off the computers. Maybe he has a bowel problem. Maybe he just needs a swift kick in the ass. Whatever the situation may be, I just find it hilarious that the authorities were brought in. It's a cry for attention I would guess. Damn teenagers. So full of hormones…and gas. Next thing you know, a kid's going to be expelled from school for accidentally burping while answering a question after lunch.
Celestial Bodies Burp Too - Like cosmic bubble makers, some black holes spew out behemoth blobs of hot gas into their home galaxies. The bubbles ultimately pop, and their gassy contents keep both the black hole and its galaxy from ballooning to mega sizes, a new study finds. The results apply to elliptical galaxies and their super massive black holes, which can weigh as much as a billion suns or more. Our galaxy, the Milky Way, is a spiral galaxy…and while it houses a super massive black hole, the researchers say the same process might not apply to it. The researchers focused on the super massive black hole at the center of the elliptical galaxy M84, which is about 55 million light-years from Earth. (A light-year is the distance light will travel in a year, or about 6 trillion miles…so by my calculations, that's eleventy seventy gazillion miles) They combined data collected by NASA's Chandra X-Ray Observatory and results from a black-hole computer simulation. They noticed huge bubbles, or cavities, of hot plasma (ionized gas) rising up from the tips of the black hole's pair of laser-like jets. As material falls into the gravitational clutches of a black hole, the energy can be spit out as jets of radiation and high-speed particles. They estimate the bubbles are about 13,000 light-years across and they are launched from jets about every 10 million years. The X-ray images showed that, like Russian dolls, each bubble has a smaller bubble tucked inside of it and so on. When the outer bubble bursts, spilling its gaseous guts, there's another inside waiting to pop as well. That continuous bubble-popping provides a constant input of heat into the surrounding interstellar gas. By the way, if any of you think this is interesting, please let me know. If you're a lady, you could probably get a free dinner out of it. If not, my apologies…and get your own blog. I was just trying to go with the theme of food during Thanksgiving.
Sweet Jesus Update - Germany's churches criticized a businessman on Tuesday for selling thousands of Jesus chocolates. Frank Oynhausen set up his "Sweet Lord" chocolate Jesus-making business saying he wanted to restore some traditional religious values to Christmas in Germany...but the German Protestant Church criticized the idea as "tasteless" and the Roman Catholic Church was not amused. "I started thinking about how I could reintroduce traditional religious values into this commercial world," said Oynhausen, who had been unemployed since losing a recycling business two years ago. Together with a friend, a local chocolatier, Oynhausen, 54, developed the concept of "Sweet Lord." It is growing fast in his home town of Duisburg and on the internet (http://www.goldjesus.com). Oynhausen said thousands of people have put in orders for the figures wrapped in gold foil...but church associations expressed dismay. "It is terrible that Jesus is being wrapped up in gold foil and sold along with chocolate bunnies, edible penguins and lollipops," said Aegidius Engel, a spokesman for the archbishopric of nearby Paderborn. "This is ruining the symbol of Jesus himself." Oynhausen is now custom-producing the chocolate Jesus figures, but by Easter he hopes to have a partnership with a mass producer. "We're hoping to be able to export them around the world one day," Oynhausen said. He reckons there are parts of the United States where they will be especially popular. In 2007, a life-size chocolate sculpture of a naked Jesus caused an outcry from Roman Catholics when an art gallery in New York wanted to exhibit it in a window. Hopefully they taste a lot better than those "Body of Christ" crackers they give out at church.
Santa Shortage - Wanted: Cheerful, chubby men, preferably with fluffy white beards and no criminal record, ready to work hard for one month. Also, it seems Germany is running out of qualified Santa Clauses and needs to recruit and train them fast, a leading job agency says. Germans are trying to shut out the financial crisis by taking comfort in traditional festivities and there is an acute shortage of Santas to entertain children at shopping centers, Christmas markets and private parties. "Being Santa is not an easy job," Jens Wittenberger, in charge of Santa Claus recruitment at the Jobcafe Munich, told Reuters Monday. "To be honest, not many people have what it takes to be a good Father Christmas." The job center wants its Santas to be child-friendly, good organizers, reliable and have acting skills. They also need a clean police record. "You can't have your Santa drive up in a car. Every child knows that Santa travels in a sleigh pulled by reindeer so we don't want to disappoint anybody." Santas are told to park their car a few streets away and walk. "People are turning to traditions to protect their children from the 'evils of the real world', especially in the wake of this financial turmoil." Recruitment sessions are being held in cities across the country, and while the job may be stressful, it's better than being jobless, Wittenberger said. "Santas can make up to 60 euros ($75) an hour. That's not bad, is it?" WHAT??? HELL NO, IT AIN'T BAD!!! Tell you what, you buy me a ticket over there Jens, you've got yourself a Santa. I even know German. "Was mochtet ihnen fur deise Weinachten?" (Ruben, feel free to check for me, it's been about a decade) Sure, that's the more formal phrasing…but whatever, the kids get it…and they can say whatever…and then I send them off. As mentioned yesterday, I think Bad Santa's a classic…and at $75 an hour, those little braut eating brats can pee all over me, tell me they want a fourth Reich, sneeze in my face, tell me what they caught their parents doing with dog doody the night before, whatever…because at the end of the day, I'm taking home $600. Hell, I could probably get the time off work too. Make it happen Jens. I may not be bearded…or pudgy…or have a suit (yet)…or particularly cheerful (unless you pay in advance) but I have a clean criminal record and I'm a hard worker. Besides, as several coworkers, ladies at the bar and strippers will tell you, I already have the dialogue down. "Come sit on Santa's lap…and tell me what you want…slowly."Well, that'll do it for today. Like I said, back to work upstairs in my deluxe apartment in the sky cooking for the family (just waiting while the turkey cooks and getting a few minutes away from those cute kids). Hope you're all having a wonderful Thanksgiving and spending times with your Loved ones. Have a great day everybody!!! Thanks!!!
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