The Nightman Cometh

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Last night, I didn't go to the gym again because my legs were still hurting a bit…and I was walking all around the city with work during the day, so I figured it was kind of a workout…so not so bad (See? Making excuses again already) but I really didn't want to permanently screw anything up…so I did do a bunch of exercises and stuff at home (since I have a large living room now) and still let my legs recuperate. I'd say that I'm definitely going to the gym after work today…but my apartment building's having a wine social hour in the lobby so I'd rather go meet some of my neighbors and maybe make a friend or two then maybe hit the gym…but we'll see. I'm not getting lazy, I swear. I really want to tone up and look my best and feel healthier…but this has just been a bad week. I've only gone ONCE in the past seven days. Definitely going to go over the weekend and every day that I can after that. Pinky swear.

I also watched "Wall-E" in between little workouts…and basically, it's just about the cutest movie ever made. I know that sounds really bad…but if you have kids, this is really just about the cutest movie ever made. For those of you who didn't see previews for this, how's the cave doing? Also, the story's like this. It's set in the year 2800 or something…and humans have abandoned Earth for about 700 years now and are floating about space in an intergalactic cruise ship…while robots are trying to make Earth inhabitable once again. Among these robots is a little trash compactor guy named Wall-E, who collects some of the cooler junk. Then a probe unit named Eva comes to find life on the planet…and Wall-E falls in Love. The story goes from there as he gets taken aboard the cruise ship following after Eva…and there's even messages in the movie about recycling, technology, human laziness, seeing the splendors of the world instead of watching TV or computers all the time, all of that…but in about the cutest way possible. I mean…most of the movie you basically hear three words - "Wall-E", "Eva", and "Ooooooh." If you have kids, check it out. If you don't have kids…but still liked movies like "Care Bears Movie II" or just like the Pixar movies like "Finding Nemo" and "The Incredibles", check it out too. It's only about 90 minutes long…and watch it with your nieces and nephews or something. Followed that up with the Season 4 Finale of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" which was obviously hilarious…and inspired the title. Can't wait for it to come on DVD in a few months. Now here's some news...

Vegas Update - A 24-year-old woman, on her first trip to Las Vegas, is worrying less about the nation's economy. That's because Jessica Agbunag won $2.4 million on Wednesday at a Wheel of Fortune slot machine at the California Hotel and Casino. Agbunag, a baby sitter who graduated high school in 2002, was in Las Vegas with her boyfriend and family in remembrance of her grandmother's birthday. Her grandmother was a frequent visitor to Las Vegas who loved slot machines. The Wheel of Fortune machines were good to Agbunag. She twice won much smaller amounts earlier this week at the same casino…but on Wednesday, she inserted $16 into a Mega-Jackpot machine and it hit big. She said she plans to pay off a car and give some money to relatives. I had to double check to make sure this wasn't Bubbles…because it was a 24 year old woman…and I know that the Wheel of Fortune machines are her favorite too…and I know that I still have to give her directions whenever she goes to the Strip because she never goes down there unless obligated, so she could say it was her first time. Alas, it was not…because I was hoping I'd be one of those friends that gets a little cash from the big winnings. Honestly though, good for you Ms. Agbunag. I hope that the money brings you and your family happiness. Because as I've said dozens of times on this blog, it ain't no fuuuuuuun if the homeys can't haaaaaaaave none. Damn, I gotta get back to Vegas. I'm having fits. I know there are casinos here in Colorado (allegedly) but it's not Vegas. By the way, among the Richard Cheese songs I've been listening to is a wonderful ditty called "Christmas in Las Vegas" and you haven't heard it, Google it or something and check it out. It's hilarious.

Saved by Cellular - Speaking of lucky streaks, in Louisiana, a man says his cell phone saved his life. A stray .45-caliber bullet hit R.J. Richard's chest while he was mowing the lawn. It hit so hard he thought it was a stone kicked out by his tractor. He pulled out the phone…and it fell apart. The 68-year-old man was bruised. He said doctors told him two things prevented worse injury, maybe even death: the phone, and the fact that the bullet came in at an angle rather than head-on. Reports of pocket Bibles saving their owners' lives pop up every so often. Richard says he's sure that God told him to put the phone in his overalls chest pocket rather than a pants pocket as usual. He said that Saturday's incident increased his faith. He figured the bullet was fired by a hunter in woods near his 5-acre property. His wife and her rifle could not be reached for comment and/or analysis. Okay, I made that last part up…but really, that's awesome. It would be a shame if that had gone some other way. Imagine being the hunter…and hearing about this on the news later. "Golly! That musta been when I was shootin' at dem der 'possums in the trees. I was a few shots of shine down, so the first few missed. I coulda killed dat guy. Thank you Jebus. I's never drinkin' and huntin' again…at the same time." Sorry for the bad backwoods Louisiana accent…but otherwise it would have been Cajun…and there's no way that you could've deciphered that gibberish. "Homeyswajumakit." "You like to see homos naked? That's cool, man. Whatever." "Nah nah nah, homeyswajumakit." If you haven't seen "Joe Dirt" go check it out. It's stupid…but stupid funny.

Amsterdam Update - I guess my time to check out the coolness Mecca that is Amsterdam may be too late. The sin city of Europe is to order the closure of dozens of coffee shops that sell cannabis near schools in accordance with new legislation, the municipality said Friday. Mayor of Amsterdam Job Cohen told public radio NOS that while he "would never have created such a measure" and that the 43 coffee shops in question had never posed a problem, he would respect the government's bill. Under the terms of the new legislation, cannabis-selling coffee shops situated within a 250-meter (820-feet) radius of schools have to shut down. However, Amsterdam city council said it would only close coffee shops selling cannabis near schools for children aged 12 and upwards, arguing that cannabis consumption is almost non-existent at schools for younger students. The city council also raised concern that the bill would lead to an increase in the number of dealers peddling all types of drugs on the streets if too many cannabis-selling coffee shops are closed (Oooh, good angle). Amsterdam is home to 228 such coffee shops, many of which are immensely popular with tourists. Meanwhile, a publication for government officials revealed Wednesday that most mayors of Dutch cities with cannabis-vending coffee shops favor full legalization of the cultivation, supply and sale of marijuana. Binnenlands Bestuur magazine announced the findings of a poll among the 106 municipalities that host the country's 702 coffee shops -- establishments with special licenses to sell limited quantities of cannabis. In 1976, the Netherlands decriminalized the consumption of cannabis, and the possession of less than five grams. Its cultivation and wholesale remains prohibited. Okay, so it technically isn't the end of the world because they're just keeping it a few hundred feet from children (who then I assume walk home past one or two shops along the way) but it's the beginning of the end that I've been documenting for over a year now. Taking out 20% of the shops may not be a huge deal now…but wait until legislation is passed for 250-meters of a hospital…or a movie theatre (cuz kids gotta see Disney flicks)…or grocery stores that sell baby formula or something like that. You've gotta be careful with your tourist trade, Amsterdam. Harold & Kumar ain't coming to Amsterdam to check out Anne Frank's closet or smell the tulips. They're coming for the coffee shops and red neon…or rather what's behind those doors and windows. I guess it may really just a way to downsize since the economy's going down everywhere…but yeah, watch it…or at least wait until I'm over there for a week or so.

Copernicus Found - This one was actually sent by my mom…so I thought I'd give her a shout out. Can't wait to see ya next week, mama!!! Researchers said Thursday they have identified the remains of Nicolaus Copernicus by comparing DNA from a skeleton and hair retrieved from one of the 16th-century astronomer's books. The findings could put an end to centuries of speculation about the exact resting spot of Copernicus, a priest and astronomer whose theories identified the Sun, not the Earth, as the center of the universe. Polish archaeologist Jerzy Gassowski told a news conference that forensic facial reconstruction of the skull, missing the lower jaw, his team found in 2005 buried in a Roman Catholic Cathedral in Frombork, Poland, bears striking resemblance to existing portraits of Copernicus. The reconstruction shows a broken nose and other features that resemble a self-portrait of Copernicus, and the skull bears a cut mark above the left eye that corresponds with a scar shown in the painting. They also used DNA evidence from a few strands of hair in a book that he wrote (yeah, 500-year old strands of hair in a book) and a tooth from a body in the cathedral. Moreover, the skull belonged to a man aged around 70 which is was Copernicus's age when he died in 1543. Do they count the rings? Anyway, so they've found Copernicus. Awesome. The man was the first to say (in Europe) that the sun doesn't revolve around him…er, I mean Earth…but the other way around. He lead the way for challenging the church's beliefs and future thinkers like Isaac Newton, Galileo, Descartes, Gates and Hefner. Now I don't know what they plan on doing with this corpse…but I would suggest just putting it back where you found it and feel good that you found where he was buried and that he's not a vampire or a Highlander or something roaming the streets in search of blood and/or the quickening. Wait a minute! How DID he get that cut mark over his left eye? Perhaps in a sword duel where he escaped near decapitation? Perhaps…

South Park Finale - When the time comes to close the door on the hit animated series "South Park", creator Trey Parker tells The Los Angeles Times that they may do it with another feature film. "We talked about maybe some day doing a movie to sort of end it all, and that seems like the best idea. That's been a big thought to do the last show as a movie" says Parker. He admits that we've already seen many of the ideas they had been saving for the movie last year. "We came up with this pretty good idea for a movie, and then of course what happened was we got in the middle of a South Park run, and were completely out of ideas and we were like, well, we've got to use the movie idea. And that became [the three-part episode] 'Imaginationland.'" As of now though there's no end planned for the TV show incarnation currently in its twelfth season. The previous film was 1999's "South Park: Bigger, Louder, & Uncut" which became famous for its foul language and memorable musical numbers including the Oscar-nominated "Blame Canada" (oh yeah, you didn't know that it was nominated for an Oscar?). I think we could all use another Trey Parker movie. Cannibal: The Musical, Orgazmo, Team America: World Police, all classics. Good luck with that. Can't wait.

That'll do it for today. Hope that you found this entertaining…and perhaps educational. You never know. I occasionally slip a nugget in there. Have a great day everybody!!!