The Body of Christ

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Last night was again a day at the gym…and I'm really thinking this might be a routine thing for me soon enough. I'm starting to get my endurance back up which was what I was most concerned with…and working in some strength for the arms so that I can get these guns loaded…and I don't mean to brag…but it's working. Don't worry, I’m not going to post pictures of my massive biceps and chiseled torso on the web. I'm going to save it for those special ladies who happen to stop by the crib. K'chow!!! Anyway, just so you know, the Cardio Chisel was a class where they have you do a few minutes of cardio workouts…like running in place, mogul jumping, jump rope, etc. then you'd lift some small weights in alternating intervals so that you kind of work on your cardio and get your heartbeat going, then chisel those arms and burn fat with the weights…so it's kind of aerobic and strength in one package. It was pretty good, then I did a little rowing machine, hit the hot tub, and went home. Not really sure what's on the agenda for today…but I seem to remember some beginner yoga thing…so I may be doing that…or playing basketball…or rock climbing…or stair machines. The possibilities are pretty abundant. I also enjoy just walking around the city as well…and with today being One Day Photo Project Day for November, I may just do that too…since I can't really take pictures at my job and that's where I spend all daylight hours during the week…and I want to show you guys the beautiful parts of Denver outside of my apartment…and mirror. Feel free to check out the One Day Photo Project site. It's pretty interesting…and all the cool kids are posting on it.

Talked to one of my lovely lady coworkers, who also happens to live in my apartment building today…and she was asking me about my weekend and if I had any plans. I said not really…but that I was open to suggestions…and we went on to talk about parks in the area…but yeah, nothing really flirtatious about it or anything…so I may just be wandering the city this weekend…alone. (Sigh…) Now, I'm not the most social being in the world…but I'm a pretty nice guy. I'm trying to get to know people at my job, apartment building, and in passing…but yeah, they all seem too busy or preoccupied or something. I'm gonna keep trying though. It just gets lonely a bit. I do appreciate all the emails, text messages, late night phone calls, and all of that…but yeah, it gets a rittre ronery as Kim Jong Il would say. Oh well, it's only a matter of time before people get to know me around here…and then I'll be complaining about not having enough free time and too many dates and filing restraining orders against stalkers and all of that usual stuff again. Until then though, I'll just get used to working exercise into my routine, making my apartment a home, and keeping my mind occupied and growing at work. It just really hit last night when I was looking out my window (Did I mention that I love the view?) and saw the full moon out there…and thought how nice it would be to share it with somebody…and then Bubbles called. See? It all works out. No need to be sad. Oh…and the coworker that I was talking to this morning. Well, I sat down shortly after…and apparently my fly was down…completely down. See? Made you laugh…and I'm pretty sure that she didn't see it (this time). I may have to check to see if this is a thought-activated zipper on these pants. For what I paid, they very well may be. Anyway, here's the news…

All Dogs Go To Heaven - A one-eyed, three-legged dog that won the title of world's ugliest pooch this summer has died. The St. Petersburg Times in Florida reports that Gus, a Chinese crested dog, had cancer. He was 9. Gus was rescued from a bad home and went on to win the annual World's Ugliest Dog contest at the Sonoma-Marin Fair in northern California. Gus came from humble origins. According to the fair, his adopted family in Gulfport, Fla., rescued him after learning he was being kept in a crate inside someone's garage. He had one leg amputated because of a skin tumor and lost an eye in a cat fight. Gus' owner had said the prize money from the contest would be put toward the dog's radiation treatment. We've all lost pets over the years. I remember my first dog, a cocker spaniel named Bogi who my parents watched for some friends when I was still a baby…and the friends never came back to claim him (witness protection?). He was just a puppy…as was I…and he stuck around until I was in Junior High. Since then I've had a few dogs and cats come and go…and though it's a sad part of life, it really doesn't have to be. It just helps you to appreciate the times that you shared together…like with all of your loved ones. Gus gives me hope…because even the World's Ugliest Dog can have a caring family and has the potential to make somebody's day special. That's why I try to live every day like a dog...or rather the handsome European Mutt that I am. Smiling, always happy to see people, energetic, always wanting to try out new things, not afraid to protect what's mine (and occasionally mark my territory) and basically…I'm one step away from humping some passerby's leg. Anyway, RIP Gus…and Bogi…and Sam and Zurich and X and Stubby and Squeaks and Bronto. May you all have hydrants at your disposal in Doggie Heaven.

Stealing a Ring - Not your usual story about theft involving rings. This one doesn't even have a diamond. The boxing ring at Glass City Boxing in Toledo, Ohio was swiped sometime Sunday, WNWO-TV reported. Trainer Tom Urbina said if the ring is not returned the gym may have to cancel upcoming boxing shows. The ring has been used since the 1970s by numerous local fighters including Devin Vargas, a heavyweight who made the 2004 U.S. Olympic team. Urbina is urging anyone with information on the ring's whereabouts to contact Toledo police. Why? Why would you do it? There's only so many places where you could set up a boxing ring…and even fewer where setting it up would be profitable in some way. My guess - Check the local gymnastics establishments…and see if any of them have some new fresh mats.

Stealing the Body of Christ - Nope, not about me going to the gym and getting ripped like Jesus...but police in Florida said they arrested a Connecticut man after he tried to steal communion wafers during a church service. The Martin County Sheriff's Office said 33-year-old John Samuel Ricci, of Canton, was cornered by fellow churchgoers when he grabbed a handful of wafers from the priest during communion services Saturday. The Stuart News reported that Ricci was being held down by six or seven offended parishioners when deputies arrived at St. Martin de Porres Catholic Church in Jensen Beach. Police say two parishioners, ages 82 and 61, received minor injuries in the scuffle. Ricci was charged with two counts of simple battery, theft and disruption of a religious assembly. He was being held Tuesday on $2,000 bond at the Martin County Jail. Maybe he was just hungry, maybe he needed a little bit more Jesus in his life…and this was a way to symbolistically do that, maybe he's just a jerkass, whatever the reason may be…I'm sure the scuffle that ensued was because they got to him before he could chug a bottle of sacramental wine to wash those wafers down. I'm picturing this guy being wrestled down by a half-dozen elderly parishioners…in the middle of church…possibly mid-hymn. Maybe using the chain on one of those incense burners to hold him…as a little kid sprinkles holy water on his face. "The power of Christ compels you!!! The power of Christ compels you!!!" This is why I don't go to church. I can watch grown men meaninglessly wrestle over ceremonial objects at home. It's called the NFL. GO EAGLES!!!

Behold the iPill - Something else to pop in your mouth courtesy of our friends in Amsterdam. Dutch group Philips has developed an "intelligent pill" that contains a microprocessor, battery, wireless radio, pump and a drug reservoir to release medication in a specific area in the body. Philips, one of the world's biggest hospital equipment makers, said Tuesday that the "iPill" capsule, measures acidity with a sensor to determine its location in the gut, and can then release drugs where they are needed. Delivering drugs to treat digestive tract disorders such as Crohn's disease directly to the location of the disease means doses can be lower, reducing side effects. While capsules containing miniature cameras are already used as diagnostic tools, those lack the ability to deliver drugs. The "iPill" can also measure the local temperature and report it wirelessly to an external receiver. The company plans to present the "iPill" at the annual meeting of the American Association of Pharmaceutical Scientists (AAPS) in Atlanta this month. This may be very helpful and the medical implications are great…but I'm more concerned with the actual size of the pill…and if all the parts are digestible. Otherwise, you may have a battery, microprocessor, wireless radio, and pump floating around in your bowels for many years…or worse yet, it could get stuck somewhere. I'm sure that those brilliant Dutch scientists have already thought of that stuff though. It's only a matter of time before this iPills will allow us to download 4GB of music and place it up our nose, directly into our brain…so that we always have thousands of songs stuck in our head…or we're able to inject Dennis Quaid into Martin Short…or go on a Fantastic Voyage through the human body. It could happen…and I'm sure that this is the first step.

Well, that'll do it for me for tonight. Be sure to stop by the One Day Photo Project and I'll keep you posted on the happenings in this wonderful life of mine. Hopefully they keep you somewhat entertained. Have a great day everybody!!! Oh...and because of my latest HR fiasco that I've decided to not even bore you with details...I have a special delivery for my current employer's HR department (not you Princess T)...