I'd like to start things off by wishing a happy birthday to Miss JL Clyde. She's gonna be a famous writer some day, so it's probably best that you get to know her now before she becomes one of those reclusive hermit eccentrics that write a book every twenty years and it changes history. We have a little wager going (mostly pride) where I've told her that I'm going to get published first...but it will more than likely be a smut novel or some kind of erotica. Come on now, you've read some of my rants. I'm not making Shakespeare here...more like Randy Spears (I think he was on "Sex Trek"). Anyway, not much has happened since yesterday. Watched some more football, walked around town a bit for no particular reason other than to get my bearings (and a lint roller), really that's about it. Today is the day where…I'm going to officially sign up as a member of Forza and start working out all the time. Yippee!!! I think I'll celebrate after work by doing a Pilates class…done by the super hot instructor from last time. This time though, I may have to bring some tighter shorts. She may have seen more than she intended on a few leg lifts. I felt a breeze. That's all I'm saying. So yeah, I'll find something that'll work out…so that I can work out…once I get out of work. Something I found out earlier today though…is that apparently you're not supposed to eat for at least two hours after your workout…otherwise it pretty much negates the work that you've done. It was on the morning news, so it has to be true. So I guess I'll have my lunch around noon…and my dinner around 8:30 from now on. Or maybe I'll live off protein bars, Muscle Milk and Scotch like Captain Monty. It seems to work out pretty well for him. The baldness is a horrible side effect…but he pulls it off well.
Last night I finally watched "Fletch Lives” starring Chevy Chase. Now the reason it has taken me so long since I’ve seen the original Fletch a few times since the Wingman brought it over last year wasn’t because I didn’t think it’d be a great movie…but because apparently my local Blockbuster wasn’t aware of the movie’s existence. Anyway, it’s the story of an investigative reporter from LA with an array of disguises and one-liners at his disposal…and in this installment, he inherits a plantation home from his aunt in Louisiana who passed away. Well, first night there he meets up with the beautiful lawyer handling his aunt’s affairs, they hit it off, and after a night of passion, he wakes up and she’s dead. MURDER…and he’s the prime suspect obviously…so now he has to prove his innocence and solve the murder mystery and it involves morgues, the Klan, Southern belles, Cleavon Little, coon hunts, Harleys, and everything else that makes for an adventure in the South. If you liked the original Fletch, I’d say check it out…but if you didn’t like the original Fletch, you have no sense of humor and I simply can’t help you with that. Consult a physician and ask them about the new drug, Fukitol. Here’s the news…Vegas style...
Vegas Update? - Though it really has nothing to do with Vegas yet, this story may be spreading over there shortly. This winter, New Year's Eve revelers will have a close-up view of Times Square's first environmentally friendly billboard powered entirely by wind and sun…but the billboard might not be quite as dazzling as some of its high-powered neighbors along the Great White Way. Construction on the 35,000-pound sign advertising Ricoh Americas Corp. is to begin this month across the avenue from the building where the ball drops on New Year's Eve. Powered by 16 wind turbines and 64 solar panels, the sign is expected to save $12,000 to $15,000 per month in electricity costs (JESUS!!!). Ricoh, an office equipment and document storage supplier, estimates the sign will also keep 18 tons of carbon out of the environment. The billboard will be lit by floodlights rather than light-emitting diodes. It won't have a backup generator, so it could go dark during a long period with little wind or sun…but Ricoh spokesman Ron Potesky said the sign's turbines will probably be able to keep the billboard lit even after four days without breezes or bright sun. "The point is that there are ways of being environmentally friendly to the planet, even on a billboard," Potesky said. A lighting ceremony for the 126-foot wide, 47-foot tall sign is scheduled for December 4th. That’s about $150,000 to $180,000 per year per sign in energy savings…and cutting down on the environmental impact. The way that Vegas is getting less business than before, they may want to consider switching this up too…at least for those billboards for their entertainment like Danny Gans, Entertainer of the Year and the other crap that nobody cares about. Sure, you can’t have the Fountains at Bellagio powered by solar panels (couldn’t really power a hot tub I would think) but it’s a great idea. You’ve got plenty of wind out there…and sun. Kudos to Ricoh from stepping away from making that damn printer that keeps fouling up and helping out Mother Nature.
Lucky or Stupid? - A north Alabama man (which is like saying south Wisconsin) is alive after being run over by a train on Thursday afternoon. Huntsville Fire and Rescue officials said a train engineer spotted 61-year-old Arnold Romine lying across railroad ties. Witnesses said the conductor sounded the horn and tried to stop the train. Firefighters said by the time the coal train was stopped, 8 rail cars had passed over Romine's body. Miraculously, he suffered what appeared to be minor injuries. He was later treated and released at Huntsville Hospital. Its unclear why Romine was lying on the tracks. Really? Unclear? He didn’t tell you? That’s a pretty good sign that he was intending on suffering more than minor injuries. I mean…he wasn’t tired there by a guy with a top hat and supremely waxed moustache? He wasn’t completely paralyzed? Then he was hoping to become a railroad flapjack. Hopefully this experience will help Mr. Romine to realize the wonderful things that he’s got going on in his life and now is not his time and he can use his blessings for good. Maybe help out at a local charity, talk to his family and friends, kick any habits, basically just give him the strength to keep on keeping on. Anyway, taking on a train is a serious roll of the dice…and sadly I’ve had a few friends lose that bet back in high school. Be safe out there…and look both ways before crossing.
Criss Angel: Cirque to Sitcom - Chris Moynihan is planning an NBC comedy series based on the life of magician Criss Angel reports Variety. The "Mindfreak" magician conceived the project along with producers Dave Baram, Jason Verona and Adam Shulman. Moynihan then joined to write the project. Inspired by Angel's experience as an up-and-coming magician, the half-hour show is being sold as "a workplace comedy set in the world of magic." As you all know, I’m a big fan of magic…and comedy…and this seems like it could be a good idea…but we’ll see. Mindfreak itself had it’s funny moments…but it doubled down on the magic, so that’s why I watched it. I’m sure Criss has an amazing sense of humor. I mean…he did a Cirque de Soleil show that even I’m interested in checking out (again, for the magic, not the flexible French people, though that could be an added bonus). I’m intrigued by this project…and I realize that it’s now been over three months since I’ve been to Vegas. Maybe after the holidays I’ll have to go down there and see the show with Bubbles. Worst case, I know that in March for my brother & his wife’s 2nd anniversary, they’d really like to go see it…and in the meantime, we can see if the sitcom works. By the way, I wanna be Criss Angel when I grow up. I mean…he’s a magician, the ladies love him, he took one of Hef’s girls (granted he has about 60 years on him), has a syndicated TV show, production show in Vegas, and a sitcom on NBC. All he needs now is a few movies, his own fragrance, makeup line, and maybe some designer fashions to go along with the jewelry…and he’ll be a top tier entertainer…like J-Lo and Diddy and Oprah and Martha and Obama. Angel for President is 2020 y’all.That’ll do it for me for today. Officially sign up to start (paying) at the gym and getting hard. Some may think that I’ve already peaked back in college…but I’ve got news for them. I haven’t peaked. I haven’t begun to peak. I’m just gonna keep working it and getting hard until I peak…and when I do…you’re all gonna feel it. I’m gonna peak all over the place. By the way, you should have all seen It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia by now…and if not, then you probably think I’m more of a pervert than ever before…and you may be right. Have a great night everybody!!!
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