When Pandas Attack

Good Morning Ladies & Gentlemen,

Not sure if I mentioned this before…but I did get "Rock Band 2" the other day…and have been playing it a little bit despite not having my full-surround sound and everything hooked up to it because my projector TV's in the shop…and it's just hooked to my bedroom TV…ladies. Like other things that may or may not happen in that bedroom, it's not nearly as fun as when playing with others…but it'll entertain you and get you by…and you're kinda glad your mom's not there watching ya. Anyway, just forget that last sentence…and the game itself is pretty much more of the same. There's some good updates like more online play options (if you have internet), more songs with girls singing…which was a big complaint about the first one (I got sick of the four songs with female singers when playing with my sister-in-law), and of course…just more songs to rock out too…including the likes of "Livin' on a Prayer", "American Woman", "Let There Be Rock", "Eye of the Tiger" and even stuff like "Tangled Up in Blue" to go along with the ability to download songs from the previous game…and online extras. There's a lot that I haven't unlocked yet…but yeah, it's pretty awesome. Now I just need to get some friends to play with.

Also, super stoked that my mom'll be coming into town tomorrow with my stepdad, niece & nephew. I made sure that my camera's fully charged and ready to go so that you can see the cuteness. Thinking about spending time this weekend at the Museum of Nature & Science and maybe the Zoo if weather stays good…and even on Turkey Day when everything's closed, we can walk around my apartment and see a bunch of lights and decorations and homeless people. It'll be great. Worked out last night and I’m starting to really show. My arms are swellin' up nicely and looking like I work out instead of the wiry steel cable that they were before. I've also lost a few pounds around the midsection so my pants are sagging…and I'm getting my six-pack back…and not the beer that I loaned to the Mad Scientist either. Maybe there's something to this working out thing. Who knows? Here's some news...

Panda Update - Speaking of video games, National Geographic, the monthly magazine famed for its glossy photographs and stories from obscure corners of the world, is venturing into videogames. The magazine announced on Tuesday that its first game, "Herod's Lost Tomb," (here's a link about real recent findings at Herod' Tomb) would come out this month ahead of the December 2008 issue which features an article on the biblical figure known for his architectural exploits. The game will be available for free online and will also be downloadable for PCs, Macs and iPhones, National Geographic said in a statement. National Geographic said "Herod's Lost Tomb" was the first in a number of "family-friendly" games it would publish this year. It said it was partnering with Namco Bandai Games America and Sony Computer Entertainment to distribute the National Geographic-banded games on handheld devices and gaming consoles such as the Nintendo Wii and PlayStation 3. Why is this on Panda Update? Because other titles include "National Geographic: Africa", "Sudoku Traveler: China" and of course, "National Geographic: Panda!" Hmm, I wonder what kind of adventures would be involved in that…

Panda Update Deux - A panda at a zoo in southern China attacked a student who snuck into its pen hoping for a cuddle with the endangered bear on Saturday. The 20-year-old male student surnamed Liu jumped over the fence at the zoo in the tourist city of Guilin, ignoring warning signs not to. "The panda, named Yangyang, was wide awake. Apparently scared by the intruder, he bit at Liu's arms and legs" quoted an unnamed worker as saying after zoo keepers managed to calm the bear and rescue Liu, the report said. Liu was quoted as saying from his hospital bed, "Yangyang was so cute and I just wanted to cuddle him. I didn't expect he would attack." Yeah…who's ever heard of a bear attack? Or perhaps devoted an entire TV series to scenarios in which bears…and perhaps other animals have attacked? However, it gives ideas for missions on that "National Geographic: Panda" game. "Your mission: Fight off the 'tards as they try to smother you, using only your claws, teeth, and occasional use of the bo staff. Bonus points for non-lethal attacks to the groin or extremities. Remember, your livelihood relies on tourism…and being cute…but you're a vicious killing machine…like the Terminator…or Shamu." Gee, I wonder how I would react if I were face-to-face with a giant panda in his natural environment…

This Week in Sh*t Tickets - The free public restrooms operated by the Charmin toilet paper company in Times Square during the holidays are being rolled out (tehehehe…) for another year. It's the third straight year for the 20 deluxe stalls. The plush potties feature flat-screen televisions, attendants dressed in tuxedos and plenty of squeezably soft Charmin. The loos are so luxurious that Charmin promises Times Square tourists will feel like kings sitting on their thrones before making their royal flushes. The Best Part of this Potty Humorist's sloppy wet dream come true…is the toilets are being inaugurated Monday with a ceremonial first flush by pop singer and Broadway star Joey Fatone (fuh-TOHN). That's right, Fatone is going to take a Fat One before the first flush. They'll be open every day through the end of the year except Christmas Day (Santa gets his turn?) and for the first time they'll be open on New Year's Eve for the crowd watching the 2009 ball drop. I can imagine what the job interview was like for the attendants on these fancy toilets. "So what kind of experience do you have in the Toiletry Arts?" "Well, I've been wiping my own ass since I was two…and I figure that it couldn't be too difficult to wipe somebody else's. Look, I've got a degree in Economics from Columbia, I'm studying for my masters at NYU…and then I was laid off during the recession, my girlfriend left me, I'm three months behind on rent, I seriously need this job…even if it's just working for tips, as long as it's above forty degrees in those things, I'll spit shine the bowl during the slow time. Whatever it takes." "Congratulations, you're hired!"

Americans Don't Know America - US elected officials scored abysmally on a test measuring their civic knowledge, with an average grade of just 44 percent, the group that organized the exam said Thursday. Ordinary citizens did not fare much better, scoring just 49 percent correct on the 33 exam questions compiled by the Intercollegiate Studies Institute (ISI). "It is disturbing enough that the general public failed ISI's civic literacy test, but when you consider the even more dismal scores of elected officials, you have to be concerned," said Josiah Bunting, chairman of the National Civic Literacy Board at ISI. "How can political leaders make informed decisions if they don't understand the American experience?" he added. The exam questions covered American history, the workings of the US government and economics. What were some of the questions and results? Well, among the questions asked of some 2,500 people who were randomly selected to take the test, including "self-identified elected officials," were…

• "Name two countries that were our enemies during World War II" - 69% of respondents correctly identified Germany and Japan…but among the incorrect answers were Britain, China, Russia, Mexico, Spain and Canada.


• 40% of respondents incorrectly believed that the US president has the power to declare war, while 54% correctly answered that that power rests with Congress. Weird…but then again, they may have just seen the news over the past eight years and thought everything they saw on TV was real.


• Asked about the electoral college, 20% of elected officials incorrectly said it was established to "supervise the first televised presidential debates." In fact, the system of choosing the US president via an indirect electoral college vote dates back some 220 years to the US Constitution.


• Not surprisingly, the question that received the fewest correct responses (16%) tested respondents' basic understanding of economic principles, asking why "free markets typically secure more economic prosperity than government's centralized planning?"
  

Summary - We need better schools, I think…and maybe less television…at least the entertaining kind with sex and trickery and violence. Silly me, I like to read about history and watch the History channel all the time…but I'm sadly the minority I guess. Hopefully these new National Geographic video games will help spread the knowledge…but it's only a start.

That'll do it for me for today. Not much else going on…except it is Nikki's birthday officially today, so happy birthday to her. I'll be sure to turn around and tell her again for ya. Have a great day everybody!!! Enjoy your Thanksgiving…and give thanks!!!