Well, after lunch yesterday I started feeling pretty bad. It may have had something to do with the massive amounts of both regular and spicy popcorn shrimp that I had for my midday meal…or I may have just been a little ill. Either way, I didn't go to the gym as planned. I just did a few exercises and stuff at home, mostly pushups and sit-ups and crunches and what have you. I was also pleasantly surprised by a delivery finally arriving - a seven-disc CD collection of Richard Cheese & Lounge Against the Machine. I know that I've mentioned these gentlemen before…but for newcomers (both of them), they are a band that does Vegas style lounge versions of popular (and usually risqué) songs…and are quite hilarious…and talented musicians as well. For example, there are versions of songs such as "Like A Virgin" to "Baby Got Back" to "People = Sh*t" to "Enter Sandman" to the theme from "Spiderman" to a "Sunday Bloody Sunday" mambo and everything in between, even a Christmas album. There are a few examples on the music bar on the right of my blog…but they aren't the best versions out there…so visit his website and tell him that Dr. Love sent ya. If I had my say, they would play at my wedding when/if that every happens. Then again, It was also my idea to go with the Monday Night Football theme…like my buddy Isaihia stole from me. (Fist shake in a brotherly fashion) Anyway, visit his website…and ladies, there are some wonderful clothing options as well…like an "I (heart) Dick" T-shirt or thong. You know you want one.
Other than that, just watched a little of the Browns / Bills game (not to be confused with Bill Brown's pick up game) on the aforementioned Monday Night Football. It was a pretty good game in which only one team could lose…but you don't care. Tonight at the gym, I'm going to try this Ski Conditioning thing they've got…and then tomorrow's Cardio Chisel (F'shizzle) again. Really excited about working out more…and it still leaves me time in the evening to have a social life if I'm ever so inclined. Also, because I found I'm not supposed to eat for a few hours after working out…that'll give me more time to actually cook something while I wait for that time to pass. The only downside…is I make enough for two (or three…simultaneous lovin' baby) and it's just me…and I hate to let things go to waste…so that kind of defeats the purpose. Oh well, that's why Jesus invented Tupperware…and Microwaves…and barbecue sauce. Anyway, here's the news…
The Biggest Pussy - On the note of getting into shape, eight of Britain's fattest pets are to embark on a 100-day diet and fitness regime in a bid to crowned this year's pet fit club champion. The seven dogs and one cat, who are all more than 30 percent overweight and weigh a combined total of 191 kg (30 stones or over 400 pounds), were picked by veterinary charity PDSA who are running the slimming contest. The animals, who need to lose a total of 74 kg to reach their ideal weight, will be put on specially tailored diet (crack?) and exercise programs (not sleeping?). The pet who achieves the biggest percentage weight loss and best follows their new regime will be crowned champion, winning their owner a pet-friendly holiday. PDSA statistics show around 30 percent of Britain's dogs are overweight or obese, amounting to around 1.95 million fat dogs. Veterinary surgeon Sean Wensley said, "Alongside their daily portions of pet food, owners often show their affection by giving unhealthy human treats such as cheese, buttered toast and biscuits. They don't realize they are actually killing their pets with kindness" but what a way to go. So now the English are taking our ideas for TV shows…and combining them. Take "The Biggest Loser" and throw in some dogs from Animal Planet and what do you get? "The Biggest Bitch" The title may be a little misleading…especially when they expect to see something along the lines of "Footballers' Wives" and get an 80-pound dachshund walking on a treadmill. "The motion of the skin flaps is hypnotic…" What was that? This ISN'T going to be on TV? This is just to promote pet health? Well then what's the point? It's the same argument I have with breast cancer awareness, we've got to get those puppies on the screen…for everybody's benefit.
Australian Sex Party - Did I get your attention? Good, because this is actually about politics…sort of. Australia is about to get a new entry into national politics -- a party devoted to sex. The brains behind the Australian Sex Party, which will be launched in Melbourne on Thursday, believe that politics has become too stuffy and conservative Down Under. Describing itself as "serious about sex" the party sees itself as a political response to the sexual needs of Australians in the face of moral campaigners and prudish politicians. Party convener Fiona Patten, who is head (tehehehe) of the national adult retail and entertainment lobby group the Eros Association, said the trigger had been the government's decision to place a mandatory filter on the Internet. Under the plan, designed to shield children from online porn and violence, Internet service providers will have to filter out pornography and other material deemed inappropriate in their feeds to houses and schools. Users wanting access to uncensored material would have to opt out of the service, the government said when it announced the plan in January. Patten was scathing of the move, which she said would damage the porn industry, arguing that material that was deemed acceptable 20 years ago (remember the sexual revolution of the late 80's? I sure don't) would now be banned. "This filter actually blacklists any adult site so it means that material which is absolutely legal for an adult to buy in a news agency in Australia, they will be prohibited from viewing it online," Patten told AFP on Monday. To counter what she termed the conservative, Christian politicians behind such legislation in Australia, Patten said the industry had determined: "If we can't beat them, join them. We want to be in there putting the position which I think is probably (that held by) the majority of Australians, that, yes, by all means protect children, but do not in that way reduce the Internet to a G-rated Internet," she said. Commenting on a recent case where a company was forced to remove billboard ads for a medication promising "longer lasting sex" because of a large number of complaints, she said an "absolute fear of the word sex" had developed. "It's just crazy. Sex is as natural to us as food. It's a necessary part of our lives." I'd love to see the conventions they have. "G'day mate, where're your knickers?" "I'm here for the Sex Party. Time to get the ol' Didgeridoo a good cleaning. Which door leads to the gang bangerang?" That's right, I can make up words too, Australia.
Recycled Water - As NASA prepares to double the number of astronauts living aboard the International Space Station, nothing may do more for crew bonding than a machine being launched aboard the space shuttle Endeavour on Friday. It's a water-recycling device that will process the crew's urine for communal consumption. Lead Engineer Bob Bagdigian said, "We did blind taste tests of the water. (You had me drink WHAT?) Nobody had any strong objections. Other than a faint taste of iodine, it is just as refreshing as any other kind of water. I've got some in my fridge. It tastes fine to me." Delivery of the $250 million wastewater recycling gear (still wondering where your taxes go?) is among the primary goals of NASA's 124th shuttle mission. In addition to the water recycler, Endeavour carries two small bedrooms, the station's first refrigerator, new exercise gear, and perhaps most important for a growing crew -- a second toilet. "With six people you really do need to have a two-bathroom house. It's a lot more convenient and a lot more efficient," said Endeavour astronaut Sandra Magnus, who will take over as a space station flight engineer from Greg Chamitoff…and will now have a place to do her hair & makeup without impeding the astronaut's access to their celestial sh*tbox. Even in space, going number one or two is an important facet of everyday life. Just remember, in space, no one can hear you flush.Anyway, that'll do it for today. Still have my NaBloPoMo streak going so far. Clink on this link to access the website of the great Richard Cheese and his merry men, Lounge Against the Machine. Maybe if he gets enough plugs on my blog, he'll come to Denver for a show…or my birthday...or my wedding…or just want to hang out next time I'm in Vegas visiting Bubbles and Wayne and Charo. Have a great day everybody!!! I'd like to leave you all with a sexy thought...
A Friend Is Like A Good Bra...
Hard to Find
Supportive
Comfortable
Always Lifts You Up
Never Lets You Down or Leaves You Hanging
And Is Always Close To Your Heart!!!
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