Nun Of Us Should Feel Alone

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

As mentioned yesterday, I watched a movie…another 80's movie called "Harley Davidson & the Marlboro Man" starring Mickey Rourke and Don Johnson…along with Tom Sizemore and Tia Carrere & Vanessa Williams in small yet hot roles. The story is about a nomadic motorcycle rider named Harley Davidson (Rourke) and his buddy, a cowboy born & raised in Las Vegas (Johnson with a scruffy beard) who meet up again after being apart for two years due to…well, their nomadic nature. They find out that a friend's bar is in danger of being taken over by a bank and decide to rob the bank for the $2.5 million needed to save the bar. Along the way, they find out that they're stealing from drug runners (running a new drug called Crystal Dream…which looks like clear blue soap bars) and they're out to kill them & get their money back. There's a few loose love stories involved…and some 80's tough guy moments of longing…but that's basically an attempt to show character development and draw the movie out to full length feature status…but then you remember, "Oh yeah, it's called Harley Davidson & the Marlboro Man…and has Mickey Rourke on a motorcycle & Sonny Crockett as a cowboy." It's still an okay 80's movie. It was free on demand and I watched it while doing dishes and picking up around the house. Check it out if you want. You're not missing a whole lot though. It's an 80's action-comedy like "Lethal Weapon", "Beverly Hills Cop", "Die Hard", and all the others that made money…but didn't.

Also on Sunday, apparently the Olympics ended…and the United States had the most medals with China getting their fair share (mostly in judged events…but I'm just saying) and now we can just wait two years for the icy version in Vancouver and four years for the London edition. I enjoyed my fair share of the Olympics (as you might have noticed) but I just have to say…that the announcers kind of sucked. Now, I realize that they have to keep talking at all times, otherwise they prove that they're not necessarily needed (especially three or four at a time) but I'd like to have at least one of the announcers be somebody with...let's say, a soul. Maybe soul isn't the right word. Personality, we'll go with that. "It's a do-or-die moment for them. This is what it all boils down to." No kidding! It's the Olympics. They only get one shot every four years. Just ask Lolo Jones (heartbreaking). I know they're supposed to be impartial and observant and document what they see in a context befitting that of a news anchor or something…but what if that's not what I want. What if I want somebody to say "BULLSH*T!!!" instead of "Hmm, that was a questionable score from the judges" or "I don't care what you say, that chick's twelve years old AT MOST" instead of "There has been some controversy that perhaps some of the athletes from the People's Republic of China may be underage…" I do like it when an announcer says something like "Look at the way the Speedos fit. There was some controversy about that heading into the games" or "She has a very long, slender, athletic look about her which the judges like" or "Her form greatly effects her splash at the end of the dive" but couldn't they just say, "Check out that guy's package" or "She's a skinny 5'2" where all these other pre-teens are stocky four-footers" or "I'd hate to say it, but those rockin' tatas are gonna hurt her…at least during the competition." Oh the moments watching Rhythmic Gymnastics and watching five identical athletic girls play with whips or balls or whatever, show off their grace & incredible flexibility, and work as a team...and think out loud "Man, if these girls were 18, this'd be really hot." Oh well, I guess I'll just have to settle for conversation with family & friends within earshot. Bye bye Olympics!!! You were fun while you lasted…now for some other important world news. Where to begin? The collapse of government in Pakistan, Zimbabwe, Iraq, and possibly America? The Invasion of Georgia by Mother Russia? Genocide in Mother Afrika?

American Idol Adds a Judge - Now, I don't watch American Idol…but I know that the judges are Paula Abdul (still funny to me), Randy Jackson (of the Jackson 5?), and Simon Cowell (who can even make a British accent a bad thing) but now there's going to be a new addition to the Emotional Wash-up, the Black Guy, and the Brit Prick, Welcome Grammy-nominated songwriter Kara DioGuardi a.k.a. the Hippie Chick? Okay, so she's really a pop songwriter for the likes of Gwen Stefani, Kylie Minogue, and others...but I honestly have no idea who this lady is…and frankly, I don't care because I still don't plan on watching it…but this is what people are talking about…so here it is. I'm told that she's perky and fun by the Media...but I don't trust them. Best of luck to you, Kara!!! May you not become the next Dunkelman…and Paula, you had a great run. Enjoy your retirement next year.

New Dancing with the Stars Lineup - Well, the new "celebrities" have been announced for the next season of Dancing with the Stars. Now, my prediction didn't come true last season (more of a hopeful dream) but this season includes the likes of Toni Braxton (who still makes me high…and has a show at the Flamingo), Lance Bass (first gay astronaut?), Susan Lucci (soap star), Ted McGinley ("Revenge of the Nerds" & Jefferson D'Arcy on "Married with Children"), Cloris Leachman (80-something year old comedian…but still hilarious), Jeffrey Ross (another comedian usually on those Comedy Central Roasts), football player Warren Sapp, volleyballer Misty May-Treanor, sprinter Maurice Greene, chef Rocco DiSpirito, Cody Linley ("Hannah Montana"), and the real reasons to watch…superhotties Brooke Burke (playboy & E!) & Kim Kardashian (of sex tape fame). Not a bad lineup (except for the comedians) but my prediction - Kim Kardashian wins…and f**ks her dancing partner. Is it because I think she's the most talented? Of course not. I just know what the viewers like…and they can't get enough of that ass.

Miss Sister 2008 - Now for a pageant that I would watch. An Italian priest and theologian said Sunday he is organizing an online beauty pageant for nuns to give them more visibility within the Catholic Church and to fight the stereotype that they are all old and dour. The "Miss Sister 2008" contest will start in September on a blog run by the Rev. Antonio Rungi and will give nuns from around the world a chance to showcase their work and their image. "Nuns are a bit excluded, they are a bit marginalized in ecclesiastical life. This will be an occasion to make their contribution more visible." Rungi, a theologian and schoolteacher from the Naples area, said that visitors to his site will have a month to "vote for the nun they consider a model." Nuns will fill out a profile including information about their life and vocation as well as a photograph. It will be up to them to choose whether to pose with the traditional veil or with their heads uncovered. "We are not going to parade nuns in bathing suits...but being ugly is not a requirement for becoming a nun. External beauty is gift from God, and we mustn't hide it." Rungi said the idea was first suggested to him by nuns with whom he regularly prays and works. He hopes there will be dozens of submissions once the Web site is started. The contest drew criticism from the association of Catholic teachers (sarcastic gasp). "It's an initiative that belittles the role of nuns who have dedicated themselves to God," the group's president, Alberto Giannino, told Italy's ANSA news agency on Sunday.

I like the cut of Reverend Rungi's jib. In my humble opinion, a Holy Man can't be a Holy Man without appreciating the work of the Holy Father. I'm obviously curious about how this website is going to turn out…but not because I want to see nuns in their swimsuits (that's beside the point) but because it's a chance for these recluse women to get out there and know that (possible sexual deviant and/or virgin) men & women around the globe are checking on them…and they have that (wireless internet) connection to the outside world. As for the opposition, I can see their point too…because these women are supposed to be recluse…and cut off from the world…and basically pray all day and do God's work…but isn't it a great way to expose the devout Christian lifestyle to the world…and show that though these women are cut off from the world, they're still women…and have souls…and dreams…and passion…and ambition…and have basically given their lives to the service of the Lord for His Glory? I've always been interested what a blog of somebody like that would be like…whether it's a hot Fritalian nun, a Tibetan monk, a missionary in Vanuatu, a hermit on a mystical journey in the woods (though probably no internet service), or an Apache shaman. Spirituality interests me to no end. People fascinate me. So people completely immersed in spirituality would be thoroughly enthralling to me. Granted, I'm sure that somebody trying to find spiritual creaminess isn't sitting at a computer a few hours a day…but still, this could be interesting. Worst-case, I get to see some lovely, well-mannered Fritalians with goals, strong moral values, and a steady career that she loves. What's not to like about that? Maybe instead of eHarmony, I could to eTrinity or something and move to Italy. I'm sure they'd LOVE to have me on their basketball team. I mean…I've seen "Life if Beautiful" like a dozen times, that's all I'll ever need to have a conversation. "Bon giorno principessa!!!" and I don't know the Italian yet…but I love his confessional rant about how he wants to make love to her constantly…because I'm always wanting to say stuff like that…but it's creepy in English for some reason. Also, I have JL Clyde's Italian Pick-Up Lines from my European trip last year to study. It could work…well. At the very least, they're intrigued by my quirky Canadian charm (because Americans apparently are frowned upon in Europe, eh?) and lengthy yet solid build. By the way, today would have been Mother Teresa's 98th birthday. Just thought that I'd throw that in there for ya.

Speaking of JL Clyde, she stopped by last night and we spent a few hours watching the first season of "Fraggle Rock" and I forgot how much those little guys sing...about everything. Oh to spontaneously spring into song and have it make sense to somebody other than yourself. That would be awesome. I would highly recommend the adventures of Gobo, Wembley, Mokey, Red, Boober, Uncle Traveling Matt, the Doozers, the Gorgs, Convincing John, Sprocket the dog, the All-Knowing Trash Heap, the King & Queen of the Universe, and all the rest to anybody...but especially those with children. People will make less fun of you if you use them as an excuse to watch those kinds of shows. Check 'em out.

Well, today is the "big" interview that I guess will determine whether I'll be a manager one day or not. Do I feel pressure? Not really. I'm extremely confident in my abilities...and I know that everything happens for a reason (Right, Lilie?) so I've even set up a quick little get-together with friends tonight to celebrate my impending masterpiece of an interview. I may give you details of it tomorrow...but it'll probably be really boring, so we'll see. Until then, I'm actually just kicking back watching specials about dinosaurs on the History Channel. I have to check out the Utah Museum of Natural History now to see some of these crazy dinosaurs that I've never heard of like Therezinosaurus...which is like a Raptor...but with GIANT claws on its hands too...and a pot belly. Anyway, google it or visit your local museum yourself. Those kinds of places are fun to me...but I'm a bit of a nerd...a sweet, charming nerd.

Anyway, that'll do it for today. Be sure to stop by my little celebratory get-together tonight if you're not doing anything. You all know the digits. Filly, JL Clyde, Lis, D, and even little Crosby have already RSVP'd and many more are surely on the way (delusion). It's gonna be fun. Talk to you tomorrow with details about...well, whatever interests me at the time. Have a great night everybody!!!