My 10,000th Day

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Well, today is officially my 10,000th day outside of the womb...and looking back, it's been a pretty good ride. Looking back, I realize that out of those days...there are a few activities that I at least found a little interesting. These are just estimates...but just goes to show how life is made up of moments.

• About 30% of the time, I was sleeping


• About 10% of my life, I've been working (as in actually earning a paycheck)


• Another 20% - 25%, I've been physically in school or doing homework


• I've been graduated from high school for more than 30% of my life


• I've been graduated from college for just under 10% of my life


• About 1%, I have been in a relationship...and even that is a bit of a stretch (about three months)


• Same 1%, I've been outside of the United States (5 weeks in Europe '99, 4 days in Jamaica '01, 3 days in Canada '02, week in Scotland '04, 4 weeks in China '05, a few hours in Mexico '06, and two weeks in Europe '07)
  
  

By comparison, I'm sure that I've spent more time crapping than hugging, more time pissing than kissing, and I've spent more nights in a hospital bed with an IV in my arm (three) than my own bed with a beautiful woman on my arm (sigh...less than three). I guess my point is...we spend so much time doing stuff that we don't necessarily want to do...but pretty much have to...and we just have to enjoy those wonderful moments & experiences. Anyway, that's just some thoughts that I had looking back on my first 10,000 days during my day off.

That's not why you're here though (or maybe it is). You want to know about the job in Denver. Well, here's the story. I was home all day doing laundry, watching TV, packing up a few things, basically just waiting for the call. Around 11:30 AM, Bubbles texted me asking if I had heard anything. Nope, nothing yet. Then Becca, then my sister-in-law, then Mandy, then Alta, then Mrs. Wingman, then JL Clyde, then I watched "Donnie Darko" (love that flick), then they started asking again around 3 PM. Then I checked with Lilie who was going to interview today...and it was rescheduled. Then I checked and they were just really busy all day so I may have answers tomorrow. Sorry to disappoint, I guess. Believe me, nobody wants to know more than me. Who knows? The 10,000th day may be one of my biggest days.

Last night, JL Clyde & I were both bored so we decided to be bored together and watch a movie On Demand. The movie that we decided to watch was "Mary Reilly" with Julia Roberts & John Malkovich. Now, one of my favorite (yet not really a) monster flicks is "Frankenstein" with Kenneth Branaugh, Helena Bonham Carter, and Robert DeNiro. Shortly after that movie came out, this one did...but I had never had the patience to see it...mostly because I can't seem to stand Julia Roberts in any capacity. I don't know why. It just is. So I forced myself to watch it...because of Malkovich. Anyway, the story is about a young servant girl Mary (Roberts) who works for a mysterious Dr. Henry Jekyll (Malkovich). I think that you can kind of guess where it goes from here. The good doctor is working on a mysterious experiment...while he and Mary start to hit it off. Then a more mysterious assistant Mr. Hyde (also Malkovich yet nobody seems to notice for some reason) shows up...and he has a thing for Mary...and vice versa (cuz he's a bad boy). Now, Malkovich is his usual amazing self...being creepy yet heartfelt and all that, the way that he does so well. Roberts is basically painful to listen to most of the time...especially if you pay any attention to her horrible Irish / Welsh / Cockney / Jersey accent that doesn't remain consistent. It's actually a pretty good flick...and the ending will...make you scratch your head a bit. I'd say check it out if you like Malkovich.

John Malkovich Movies

Medal Winners

Gold - Being John Malkovich (1999) - You knew this had to get the gold in Malkovich movies. It was the part that he was born to play...himself. There are entire scenes where the only dialogue is "Malkovich, Malkovich?" "Malkovich." It's even sung. Director Spike Jonze brings you the twisted tale of a puppeteer (John Cusack) that discovers a portal that leads literally into the head...of John Malkovich. That's ugh...really all that I'm going to tell you if you haven't seen it...because that should be intriguing enough. I mean...it got a Gold Medal from me, right? I just don't hand these things out. They're expensive, you know? There's also Cameron Diaz, Catherine Keener, and plenty of cameos throughout this movie. You owe it to yourself to check out this movie.

Silver - Con Air (1997) - I've gone on and on about this movie several times. If it's on TV, I have to finish watching it...like it's my "Catcher in the Rye" or something. Malkovich plays the bad guy...and you simply must love it. Nicolas Cage is the good guy with a Southern accent...and you simply must love it. John Cusack is in it. Steve Buscemi, Ving Rhames, Colm Meaney, Danny Trejo, Dave Chappelle, and on and on. I'm pretty sure you've all seen this movie more times than you care to admit. It gets the silver...only because it's not called "Air Malkovich" or something like that.

Bronze - Johnny English (2003) - Do you love James Bond? Of course you do. Who doesn't? Communists & supervillains, that's who. Do you like parodies? Of course you do. Who doesn't? Same answer. Do you like Mr. Bean a.k.a. Rowan Atkinson? John Malkovich playing an evil French guy? Natalie Umbruglia as eye candy? Basically, the story is about the funeral of a British spy being attacked, killing all the spies in attendance...leaving only an accident-prone employee named Johnny English (Bean). he and his sidekick Bough (Ben Miller) are Britain's only hope from stopping a French billionairre (Malkovich) from taking the British throne and turning the island into the world's largest prison. Well, they natural get assistance from a superhottie (Imbruglia). My favorite part of the whole movie is hearing English say, "Like plastic toys and...soft cheese?" It'll all make sense when you watch the movie. Enjoy.

Suggestion - Shadow of the Vampire (2000) - Shadow of the Vampire is a film about the making of the 1922 German all time classic silent horror-movie "Nosferatu". The production of Nosferatu had to deal with a lot of strange things (some crew members disappeared, some died). This movie focuses on the difficult relationship between the director Murnau (Malkovich) and the lead actor Schreck (Willem Dafoe). Not creepy enough for you with Dafoe & Malkovich? Throw in Udo Kier too. Still not convinced? Throw in Cary Elwes ("Robin Hood: Men in Tights") and Catherine McCormack ("Braveheart"). No, nothing? Fine, I wasn't going to mention it...but Eddie Izzard's in it too. Now I know that you want to go see it. No need to thank me, just pay it forward.

Flush It - Dangerous Liaisons (1988) - From the same director as "Mary Reilly" (Stephen Frears) is this classic tale that apparently was based on a book...and that story was also the inspiration to "Cruel Intentions" (you all know that movie, just admit it) and hence, that's why I checked it out. Little did I know that it was involving 18th century French aristocrats in a saucy plot...but wait, there's more. The Marquise de Merteuil (Glenn Close) needs a favour from her ex-lover, Vicomte de Valmont (Malkovich). One Marquise de Merteuil's ex-lover, Gercourt, is planning on marrying a young, virtuos, woman called Cecile de Volanges (Uma Thurman). The Marquise would like Valmont to seduce Cecile before her wedding day. Meanwhile Valmont has a conquest of his own in mind, Madame de Tourvel (Michelle Pfeiffer), a beautiful, married, and God fearing woman. The Marquise doesn't think that Valmont can do it, she tells him that if he can provide written proof of a sexual encounter with Madame de Tourvel, that she will offer him a reward, one last night with her. But Valmont will find himself falling in love with Mrs. de Tourvel, embrasing the deadly jealousy of the marquise de Merteuil. Sounds like a hot BBC movie, right? Did I mention that Keanu was in it? And that they duel? Much better than Sarah Michelle Gellar, Selma Blair and Reese Witherspoon, right? Yeah, I thought so too. Not a bad movie...just not my type.

Future Watch - Burn After Reading (Tomorrow) - It's a Coen Brothers comedy with an all-star cast like Malkovich, George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Frances McDormand, and Tilda Swinton. It has to be good. For God's sake, he's wearing a robe with a hatchet in his hand in broad daylight. I'm also waiting for the sequel to the "Eragon" series where Malkovich plays Galbatorix, the ultimate dragon-riding bad guy...but that may be a number of years off. Also coming up is "Love & Virtue" (2009), a story set in the times of Charlemagne. Orlando (Damien Lewis) is a knight in King Charlemagne's court who falls for Angelica (Virginie Ledoyen of "The Beach"). Rodomonte (Malkovich) is a barbarian marauder, contrasted with Charlemagne (Stephen Dillane, Merlin in "King Arthur"), the first ruler of a united Western Europe since the fall of the Roman Empire. That's right, Malkovich as a barbarian marauder.

Well, that'll do it for today. Hopefully I'll be telling everybody soon about my new job...but we shall see. Until then, have a great day everybody!!! Make some great memories today!!!