Saturday, September 27, 2008

Pretty Big Day

Good Morning Ladies & Gentlemen,

Let's see, where to begin. Woke up, went back to sleep, woke up again, took a shower, walked downstairs, got some breakfast, watched some Sportscenter, blogged a bit, did some pushups, #2, went into work to drop off a movie for Filly, talked to a few people, Lilie & I talked about...something, can't really remember what, probably that I'm a horrible speller or don't know how to speak French or something, got an email from somebody saying to call them, called them, was offered a job in Denver, crapped my pants, cleaned up, talked to my boss, drank some water, had "Na Na Na Na Hey Hey Hey Goodbye" stuck in my head for some reason, and then it gets kind of fuzzy after that. Oh, so yeah, I got a call from Denver...and I GOT THE JOB!!! My first day there will be on October 8th...and my last day at work here will be on October 2nd...and in between will be (a lot of packing) and a Going Away Party which will be Saturday, October 4th...and the location will be forthcoming.

I am super excited and super anxious at the same time. As I may have mentioned once or twice on this blog, I've been looking into jobs elsewhere for a while...and now I finally have one...and it's supercool. Now, I'm worried that I don't really know too many people there in Denver, I really don't have any place to live right now, my new job is going to be VERY different from my current job, being so charming and wearing suits every day I'm going to have to keep the ladies at a distance to avoid "unwelcome advances" or whatever my HR director calls them. However, the good is that I'll have a new adventure in a city that I barely know...but am learning more every day, I'll be able to meet new people, experience new things, live in a new apartment (maybe without a giant hole in the ceiling), get some new job experience and learn more from that, and being so charming and wearing suits every day I'm going to have to keep the ladies off with a stick. So yeah, I'm scared a little...but really excited too. Like I'm standing at the open door of a plane, ready to dive out the door to the wheat field about two miles down. Let's just hope that I remember to pack the parachute.

My friends were glad to see me get the job, but sad that I'm actually leaving. I spent a few hours at work with a lot of them...but yeah, they'll get over it. They still know my email, phone number, and that they'll probably hear every step along my crazy adventure on this blog. My family is excited...yet bummed...but understanding too. My dad gave me a hardy "YEAH DUDE!!!" when I told him...and then offered to let me use his truck and that he was more than willing to ride with me to Denver to help unload and stuff. That's my dad. My stepmom called shortly after FROM DENVER to congratulate me. She was on a return flight from Billings. My mom was just about in tears...but excited for me. Same with my brother. See, the timing of this thing was...awkward for them, what with my sister-in-law telling them that she's going to sign the divorce papers in the next few days, all the drama that the situation has brought up anyway, and now their only friend / baby boy is moving to Denver, a seven hour drive away. They understand though...and said they'll visit whenever possible. Hell, during a half-hour conversation with my brother last night, he even mentioned possibly moving to Denver too. We shall see.

Oh...and in case, you're interested, here's the "Fond Farewell" letter that I sent to hundreds of current and former coworkers informing them of my decision. Some identities have been changed to protect the innocent...

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

It is with both a heavy heart and child-like giddiness that I tell you that I have accepted the position of (Prime Pimp) in Denver. My last day here will be on Thursday, October 2nd and I'll start my new position the following week. Over the last eight years (and a few summers before that), I have grown from a lanky four-eyed child with absolutely no tact and/or game into a charming, slightly less lanky two-eyed man...who can at least make people crack a smile once in a while...but still no game. Now, I must move on and gain some of that "real world experience" and grow as an individual - personally, professionally, physically, & spiritually. I'll also be a tall, good-looking man in his twenties wearing three-piece suits at a five-star hotel that hosts plenty of celebrities. See ya on the cover of Entertainment Weekly...or at least one of the paparazzi magazines.

I am truly going to miss those of you who I talk to on a daily basis and who have let me into your lives...and even met a few of your kids. Cute kids by the way. We'll always have the memories of the romantic vacations we've gone on together (JW, Mother Tucker, Double Dee, and don't think for a minute that I forgot about Jamaica, Boss Lady J). I'll also miss helping a number of you move into your new homes (payback time next week?). The late nights where I handed out TONS of food to smiling thank you's, resetting passwords, explaining the mysteries of our computer systems, singing sweet hold music while I looked up information, all that & more will be truly missed.

To the Supervisor Desk, the greatest desk ever (that's right, I said it), I will miss all of you. Captain Monty, I'll miss you talking about working out, complimenting me on my solid physique, and whispering sweet nothings into my ear. I'm still waiting to find out the secret to your favorite beverage, Muscle Milk. Camb, the 3rd leg in the tripod of the OG Supervisors, we've been through a lot too...and I'd still be honored to have you teach my kids someday. The Mad Scientist, thank you for sharing your cartoons with me...and talking about movies for hours a day. JL Clyde, your nerdiness makes me feel so much better about my own. There's probably a few more on the desk...but I've been pretty much zoned out for over a year now, so I don't recall much about them. Something about softball (Cat), tasty crepes (Lilie), big purses (Mickey)...okay, so I'm really just trying to be brief because I tend to ramble. I'm going to miss you all madly...but I know that you'll be visiting me a lot.

I'll miss the wonderful managers over the years telling me how great my monitor scores are...and their incredible leadership, assistance, pay raises, back rubs, and guidance over the years. Most of all, I'm going to miss the dozens of you who I have had the pleasure of partying and getting drunk with...both after hours and on vacation...and getting paid for it. God, I miss fam trips. We should really bring those back. VIVA LA FAM TRIPS!!!

That being said, I will probably get to hear your sweet, sultry voices on a daily basis still because I'm working at one of the Regional offices...but please feel free to keep in touch. You've all got my number...and aren't afraid to use it late at night...whether it's when you're feeling hot & bothered or have a question about using the systems. Either way, it's understood that at some time during the conversation, I'm going to ask you what you're wearing. You all have my feel free to send me the same old bad jokes and questionnaires about my favorite subject...ME!!! Also, for those of you who don't know, you can keep track of my random thoughts & crazy adventures in Denver through my blog at but make sure that you do it on your own time...because the Internet at the center is for work purposes only.

I know what you're all thinking...and I honestly have no idea what you're going to do without me. Also, to be perfectly honest, I've had a rough draft of this letter sitting in my Inbox for over four months and just went through it today to change Las Vegas to you knew eventually this day was coming. However, I have the utmost confidence in all of you in keeping this the greatest place to work in the state of Utah (so I don't offend my new employers) and if you ever need somebody to talk to...please call the Supervisor Desk. I'm just know the digits. Holla. I look forward to hosting all of you on your next trip to the Mile High City. Oh...and I'll keep you posted on the Going-Away Party (and yard sale to get rid of a lot of my stuff). Keep Saturday, October 4th open...just in case. Drink responsibly and always have a designated driver...but this time it won't be me. I wish you all the best of luck in your future endeavors.

Thank you for all the wonderful years of friendship,

$teve a.k.a. Dr. Mookie Love

Tearjerking, I know. I have a way with words, I'm told. After sending that, handling a lot of work issues with my future transition, and BS'ing with JL Clyde & the Mad Scientist for a few, I went to meet up with the legendary and lovely Bone Junior. See, a few days ago, I mentioned this wonderful show called "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia" and how I now planned on watching all the seasons out on DVD. Well, I also wrote her an email as to wear I can purchase the Rockin' Tata T-shirts that I've seen on her blog. She then wrote me back saying that she LOVES "Sunny in Philadelphia" and would be more than happy to loan me the first two seasons to watch. So we arranged to share a meal (to make it worth her while) and exchange the DVDs for a few days. We met up at Ruby Tuesday's (which apparently has the greatest croutons in the history of mankind...and I can confirm that I have yet to taste any better) and we talked for about two hours about movies, TV shows, Philadelphia, our jobs, my new job, nieces & nephews (by the way, Kairi is pronounced Ky-Ree), how Rocky is great underdog story, not just a collection of montages...that just kind of tapers off towards the end (Rocky V was lame...but Rocky Balboa was better), how we've both managed to avoid sexual harassment lawsuits (so far), how we use our charm &, I mean wits to our advantage, and just had a grand olde tyme. Thank you for the wonderful meal and loaning me those discs, Bone Junior. By the way, I thought it was hilarious that Dee's vibrator is named $teve...and is that a penis in your pants?

So yeah, big day yesterday. Follow it up today...with my lifetime service award winner (buddy since 2nd grade) Isaiha getting married today. I'll be sure to take some pictures...and maybe a few of me in one of my new suits. Oh yeah ladies, be prepared. That'll do it for today. Big thanks to everybody out there with wishing me well...and feel free to stop by Denver any time when I get there...and keep the evening of Saturday, October 4th open for the Going Away Party. There will be plenty of fun & shenanigans to be had. Even Boss Man B offered his home as a location because there'll simply be too many people for my apartment...and the cops aren't invited...except for maybe the sexy female stripper kind. You know, Halloween is right around the corner. Have a great weekend everybody!!!

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