I Can't Fathom It

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,


So I didn't do too much of anything yesterday. I can't really lie about that. In fact, do you know what I did? I finished up the Poltergeist trilogy...midday. I watched "Poltergeist III" starring Tom Skerritt, Nancy Allen, and Lara Flynn Boyle...as well as the usual Heather O'Rourke and Zelda Rubinstein (the "Magical Midget"). The movie was pretty much more of the same. The little girl is with her aunt & uncle now in a Chicago skyscraper...but Kane, the creepy old demon guy has followed her there...and hijinx ensues. Probably the most impressive thing about this movie is that a vast majority of the special effects are just different camera angles using a lot of mirrors, which seem to line the walls of all the rooms, hallways, elevators, and basically everything except the parking garage in this building. There are a lot of body doubles and fake mirrors and what-have-you...but it's still quite impressive. Kudos to director Gary Sherman. Other than that, yeah, it's a horror flick, rated PG. If you miss it, don't feel too bad.



I also finally watched a movie that my brother suggested called "Buying the Cow" starring Jerry O'Connell, Ryan Reynolds, Bill Bellamy, Bridgette Wilson, and Alyssa Milano. It's basically a buddy comedy about a guy named David (O'Connell) who is a commmitment-shy LA yuppie whose girlfriend of many years (Wilson) gives him an ultimatum: commit or get out. David has two months to decide if he wants to stay with Sarah as she leaves town for a job in New York. Following the advice from his more outgoing friends (Reynolds & Bellamy), he hits the dating scene as he tries to find his one and only soul mate, a mysterious woman he sees again and again, but always gets away before he can talk to her. It's a pretty typical buddy comedy with the stereotypcial schauvenist pig friend and more sensitive friend, plans that go awry, stories of writing love letters to an eleven-year old, and basically centers around the saying, "Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?" Actually towards the end, there's actually quite the profound little speech by Jerry O'Connell (which shocks me considering all the other movies that I've seen him in). You may want to give it a shot. It has its moments. Basically, if you liked "Tomcats" but thought it was too disgusting, this is a nice alternative. It's a little sweeter.


Yesterday, I also watched the first two episodes of the TV show that apparently everybody else has seen called "Heroes" about people who discover that they have superpowers. I really, really enjoyed it. Now, I've only seen the first two episodes, so don't spoil it for me...but I like it because it's like one of my favorite movies out there "Unbreakable" but with multiple character background stories discovering that they have the powers, inner conflict with how they react to these new abilities, special effects, and because I've seen commercials on TV, bad guys. Can't wait to continue the story. Until then...here's some movie news...


Johnny Depp Update - So apparently in one press conference, Johnny Depp announced that he would indeed be starring in a fourth installment of "Pirates of the Caribbean" as Jack Sparrow, in superbuddy Tim Burton's "Alice In Wonderland" as the Mad Hatter, and in the future Bruckheimer production of "The Lone Ranger" but here's the twist...he will not be the Lone Ranger...but rather his sidekick Tonto. Not a bad day for him or his agent, I would say. Now, because all of these movies that he's been rumored to be in seem to be coming true, I think I'm going to throw in another one...involving the next installment of the Batman movie series. Now, I know there are the rumors all around about Philip Seymour Hoffman playing a gun-running Penguin...and Johnny Depp trying to one up Jim Carrey as the Riddler (good luck with that, playa) but I'm going to say...that Johnny Depp is going to play the Mad Hatter in the next Batman. There, I said it. Easiest $20 million you ever made. You don't even have to change the character. No need to thank me, just pay it forward...to my checking account.


McAdams To Star In Holmes Movie - Sorry to disappoint, but Rachel McAdams isn't starring in the new John Holmes biopic (it's a damn shame...but they simply won't pay me enough to star in "Boogie Nights 2: Happy Endings for All") but rather she will play the love interest of Sherlock Holmes (Robert Downey jr) in the Guy Ritchie version coming out...well, not soon enough. The character she plays is Irene Adler who appeared in only one story "A Scandal in Bohemia" from 1891. Filming starts next month in the United Kingdom.


Megan Fox Update - Megan Fox is being sought to star in the feature adaptation of the late Michael Turner's comic book "Fathom" for Fox Atomic reports The IESB. The story centers on a young woman named Aspen who goes on a water-based adventure after discovering she's part of a race of aquatic humanoids named The Blue (Why am I thinking of Jessica Alba dolphin kicking "Into the Blue"?). Fox (the company, not the hottie) is currently seeking writers for the film which has been in development with James Cameron's Lightstorm Entertainment and seemed to have fallen apart due to scripting issues. Now, to clarify the key points...we're talking about Megan Fox...as basically the Little Mermaid with the ability to control water...so the wardrobe will be quite remarkable...and James Cameron's involved in the development (Again, why am I thinking of Jessica Alba as "Dark Angel" now?)...and reading through the summary of the comic book series on Wikipedia, I think that I can help with the scripting problems.



It's a story of self-discovery of your superpowers (see "Heroes", "Unbreakable", "Smallville", and turn up the heat), fighting giant sea creatures in a Moby Dick-esque storyline...and most exciting, at the very end of the first movie (because what's the point if you can't do a few sequels?), Aspen comes up out of the water onto a boat (in slow motion with a torn outfit after a might battle, of course) and standing there to congratulate her...and ask for her help in a new adventure...is the Tomb Raider herself, Lara Croft (Angelina Jolie). That's right, there's an extablished, preexisting tie-in with the Tomb Raider...and just a few weeks ago, Fox (the hottie) mentioned that she has thought sexy, sexy thoughts about her & Jolie in a little hot girly stuff...and I'm sorry, I have to go to the bathroom real quick. There, I'm back. Where was I? Yeah, this ugh...this could be a good thing if it goes through. Maybe too good. Because as mentioned in the book "Choke" - Nothing is ever as good as you can imagine it. This meeting of two celestial bodies in the middle of Earth's ocean could wipe out existence much like the end of the dinosaurs...though I beg to differ, I have been pleasantly surprised a few times...and my imagination is running wild right now. I could probably have a script by Monday if you're interested. I can't fathom how good this movie could really be. Okay, back to reality...


Wall Street 2? - Amid the economic clusterfunk that has finally come tumbling down, for some reason, actor, son of Spartacus, and the guy bangin' Catherine Zeta-Jones himself, Michael Douglas had to field questions Wednesday about the financial turmoil shaking world markets from reporters recalling his role in the 1987 film "Wall Street." The actor sought to focus on the subject of Wednesday's news conference — urging the United States and eight other holdout nations to ratify a nuclear test ban treaty. Douglas won an Academy Award for portraying the rapacious banker Gordon Gekko, who popularized the phrase "greed is good" in the movie. After world leaders here condemned the "boundless greed" of world markets, Douglas was asked to compare nuclear Armageddon with the "financial Armageddon on Wall Street" but the likening to Gekko did not end there, with a reporter asking: "Are you saying Gordon that greed is not good?" Douglas replied, "I'm not saying that...and my name is not Gordon. He's a character I played 20 years ago." How sad is it that our reporters are resorting to asking actors...at a nuclear test ban treaty conference...about how to overcome the economic downturn? Obviously, Gordon Gekko was part of the problem. We should have asked ourselves, WWJD? As in, what would Jack (T. Colton) do? He can save the day. Why? What does the T stand for? Trustworthy.


Now, I don't think that I'm alone when I say that the current economy kind of scares the crap the out of me...mostly because I've read a few history books and the government buying out $700 billion in bad debt and printing more money sounds eerily familiar to what happened during the Great Depression...but not in the United States...rather half the world away in Germany, where a wheelbarrel full of Deutsche Marks couldn't buy you loaf of bread because of inflation...and it took a charasmatic (and crazy ass) leader to lead them out of depression...and into another World War. I thought that maybe I was just being a little paranoid...and I probably am...but then I heard that John McCain basically quit running for President and Sarah Palin went to New York to go shopping or something...oh and meet up with the Afghan president for a few minutes to have some tea too. What the hell is going on? Granted our situation is a little different...whereas we were just involved in a financial clusterfunk from the top-down...but for the economy to work, we can't just hoard all of our money and quit being consumers. That's how things get worse. I know it's easy for me to say while I, at this moment that I'm typing this, still have a job...but it's just how the economy works. If the belief in the value of money goes down, then the value of money goes down. I'm not an economic expert...but it scares me that there's not a better idea to save the economy from somebody that is.



Anyway, enough about that depressing stuff...I got my suits last night...and they look amazing on me. I can't lie. Pictures to come one day...but in the meantime, I'll just wish you all a wonderful day, weekend, and ever after. I hope that everything works out for the best. Oh...and big surprise...but I just got word from Denver and they'll be making their decision later today. Love, Peace, and Chicken Grease...