Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Happy Obama Day!!!

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Let's see, I've got some catching up to do in the world outside of me (yes, it does exist, I'm coming to realize this) and today's the One Day Photo Project and Obama's Inauguration and Buzz Aldrin's birthday party and my plate is just so full right now…but here's a little something...

Death of Kahn - Ricardo Montalban, the actor who played such timeless roles as Mr Roarke on "Fantasy Island", the evil Vincent Ludwig on the original "Naked Gun" movie…and of course, KAAAAAAAAAHN on the second Star Trek movie, has passed away at the age of 88. The Mexican-born actor had been in the business for over 60 years with many memorable roles. He was also an icon with respect to his smooth, debonair characters always dressed to the nines and donning a silky accent. Of course, he also brought out the best in Shatner…and that's what we'll probably all remember most. Either that…or "Welcome to Fantasy Island." Hmm, maybe he'll be there to help Peter greet us at the gates…with Tattoo, of course. Our condolences go out to his family.

Hail Mary - A prominent fashion designer has sparked outrage in Chile by dressing up models like the Virgin Mary in some cases with ample, near-naked breasts (not near enough in my opinion). The Roman Catholic Church condemned Ricardo Oyarzun's plans for a show featuring the models and a conservative group tried unsuccessfully to block it in court. Oyarzun said he had received telephone threats and had excrement smeared on his doorstep (I told you that Martin Luther put his 95 Feces on the church doors!!! Take that Mrs Schulz!!!). "There is no pornography here, there's no sex, there are no virgins menstruating or feeling each other up," Oyarzun said ahead of the catwalk show set to be held at a Santiago nightclub later on Thursday. "This is artistic expression." He said his designs, which include halos, look as though they come from a nativity scene and include religious icons, were inspired by the Virgin Mary but not intended to represent her. The church replied with "We look on with special pain and deplore those acts which seek to tarnish manifestations of sincere love toward the Virgin Mary, which end up striking at the dignity of womankind by presenting her as an object of consumption." The show is more evidence that Chile, heavily influenced by the church for decades, is shaking off its reputation as one of the most socially conservative countries in Latin America. Well, I like it. I wish more nativity scenes looked like it. Besides, he may have been inspired by the Mexican Playboy spread from a few months ago…if you recall.

Shipping Error - A man in Denton, Texas who was expecting a shipment of tools instead received a 30-pound brick of marijuana that police say is worth more than $10,000 (What? Much more if we're talking about thirty pounds. That works out to about $20 an ounce). Officer Ryan Grelle says the man opened the box Monday night, realized it contained drugs and contacted police. The package from the Pharr area was handled by UPS in McAllen on January 6th and apparently was intended for a Dallas address. The Denton Record-Chronicle reports no such address exists in Dallas, so the package wound up 40 miles to the northwest at the similar address in Denton. That would be an interesting error. Just yesterday, my neighbor / coworker got my Netflix and light bulbs in a shipping error…but I'm not sure how she'd react if she got a package like this instead. "Hey $teve, where you ugh…expecting any packages?" "Yeah, did they ship it to your apartment again? Sorry I'll come pick it up." "Oh, okay. Hey…could you ugh…bring some chips with you too…and some water…and maybe a lighter." "Ugh…sure, I think I have a lighter around here..." "Shhhh!!! I think I hear something." "What?"

Madonna Auction - A nude photo of Madonna, taken before erotic songs and risqué costumes catapulted her to superstardom, is expected to sell for at least $10,000 (again, I would assume more than that) according to Christie's auction house. Madonna, then known as Madonna Louise Ciccone, may have earned as little as $25 for the 1979 modeling session. The raw, full frontal black-and-white image, taken by Lee Friedlander, appeared in Playboy in 1985 and is to be auctioned February 12th. Madonna was a 20-year-old dancer just trying to make ends meet when she answered Friedlander's newspaper ad seeking a nude model, said Matthieu Humery, head of Christie's photography department. Humery said this week that six photos from the shoot were sold to Playboy and the one up for auction is "maybe the most explicit one." The mind wanders. "For Friedlander it is a very typical way of taking pictures of a woman. He likes very natural (bushy?) women. It reflects Friedlander's aesthetic. There's not a hint of glamorizing. That's what makes it powerful." He said he knows of no other prints of the black-and-white photo. Friedlander has said of the photo session that Madonna "seemed very confident, a street-wise girl. She told me she was putting a band together but half the kids that age are doing that. She was a good professional model." The other five pictures from the Playboy spread were sold together in 2003 for $7,170. Another, later photo of Madonna, by Helmut Newton, is in the auction and is also expected to fetch $10,000 to $15,000. In that shot, also sold to Playboy, Madonna is wearing lingerie, curly blond hair and a seductive expression. A man kneels beside her. The Madonna photos are among 150 images by some of the biggest names in photography that are being sold from the collection of Leon and Michaela Constantiner. Last month, more than 350 photographs from the New York couple's collection were auctioned. One highlight was a collection of photographs of Marilyn Monroe that were taken by Bert Stern for Vogue magazine the year Monroe died. They sold for $146,500. Christie's say the record auction price for a nude photo is the $1.6 million paid last year for Edward Weston's 1925 "Nude." Now, $1.6 million seems like a lot to me (unless the proceeds are going to charity) but based on my prediction of French First Lady Carla Bruni's nude photo being auctioned off for more than predicted, I'm going to guess that the Madonna one goes for…somewhere between $30,000 and $50,000. We'll see how close I am. Honestly, I'd be like "Hmm, I don't know. I'll give you…twenty bucks for it." "Sir, that's the recording artist Madonna." "But it's not THE Madonna, now is it? Twenty bucks, take it or leave it."

Gambling Problem - What are the chances US president-elect Barack Obama will utter the words "banana," "Angela Merkel," or swear during his inaugural speech? Little to none, according to Swedish online betting site Betsson. The site has listed the odds of Obama using certain words during his inaugural address on January 20, with "banana" and (German Chancellor) "Angela Merkel" given 1,000-to-1.00 odds on Thursday. Lowest odds were meanwhile given to "the United States," at 1.01-to-1.00 odds, and "change," at 1.03-to-1.00. The site also provided odds on the president-elect's choice of puppy, which he has promised his daughters Sasha and Malia. The most likely First Pet was a Labradoodle, at 1.75-to-1.00 odds, and in second place a Portuguese water dog with 3:1 odds. Least likely were a Shetland sheepdog and a bulldog, at 100:1 odds. I wonder if the speech writer is aware of these odds and might have some kind of interest in them. I guess we'll know when the speech is given…and he's reading from the teleprompter. "My fellow Americans, we will overcome our adversities…and once again, the United State of America…will be Top Banana. Also, in my first Presidential shout-out, I would like to thank…my good friend…German Chancellor and huebsche maedchen Frau Angela Merkel. Ich bin auch ein Berliner." CHA-CHING!!! At least one economic crisis over. Congratulations President Obama!!! It's good to have a shred of faith in an American leader again. Thank you…now please don't screw it up. If you need help, I'm always glad to give advice.

Anyway, that'll do it for today. Thanks for listening to me ramble over the past few days. Have a great day everybody!!! Happy New President's Day!!!

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