Adrian's Going to the Super Bowl, Not Rocky

Good Evening Ladies & Gentlemen,

Well, the Philadelphia Eagles have managed to tease me for yet another year by losing to (deep introspective and still stunning at how ridiculous it sounds sigh...) the Arizona Cardinals in the NFC Championship. Watching Cardinals safety Adrian Wilson cry while being interviewed after the game, I can't dislike them for winning. For example, this guy has been with the Cardinals for a long time...and they have really sucked for a long time...like sixty years at least, so they were bound to make it at least once, right? Even if it was on a horseshit no-call for pass interference, it shouldn't have been that close to begin with...so I digress.

For twenty years now, since I was eight years old and didn't know that terms like tight end and wide receiver had multiple entendres associated with them, I have been a fan of the Philadelphia Eagles. Why? Good damn question since I've lived in Utah my whole life. Basically, when I was eight I watched them on TV a few times...and just really liked the cut of their jib (don't worry, I have no idea what it means either...but I just took to them for some reason). My favorite football player of all time...is former Eagles QB Randall Cunningham...who made it to the Pro Bowl as both a quarterback and a punter...and went to college in Vegas...and was on of the first great African-American quarterbacks. Also on the team were the likes of the late great Reggie White and Jerome Brown, Keith Jackson, Keith Byars, Clyde Simmons, Seth Joyner, Fred Barnett and a bunch of others that I had all the trading cards for...and they were a good team...but never even really came close to a Super Bowl. Then free agency came into the league...and they fell apart because Reggie White went to the Packers to get a Super Bowl...and Cris Carter was traded because according to coach Buddy Ryan "He only catches touchdowns." What?

Then the Eagles started to suck...and all through junior high and high school, I was still rooting for them...when the Cowboys were a big thing...and the Eagles were absolutely horrible...and probably had the worst starting quarterback of all time. The only reason I still watched football during that time...was because during my senior year, my favorite player of all time Randall Cunningham was having a resurgence with the Minnesota Vikings...along with Cris Carter...but they ultimately ended losing to (deep introspective sigh and STILL stunned at how ridiculous it sounds sigh...) the Atlanta Falcons. It was okay though...because just in time for me to graduate from high school, the Eagles got a great draft pick...and picked up Donovan McNabb...and got a new coach Andy Reid...and since then, they've been amazing...well, pretty awesome.

Since then, they've made it to five NFC Championships...and actually won one to make it to the Super Bowl...and then lose that too. It's okay though...because I'm still going to root for them. Why? Not exactly sure...but I've thought about it a little bit today...and here's what I've come up with for possibilities.

1. I love Underdogs - Being a child who was raised on movies like "Revenge of the Nerds" and "Rocky", I've always believed that no matter what your circumstances are, if you work hard enough for what you want...and are willing to sacrifice and prepare yourself for the challenges ahead, then you can do ANYTHING. Whether it's be heavyweight champion of the world, win the Super Bowl, get the career that you've always wanted or bang a Pi cheerleader, you can do it. America is the country that started out as a bunch of Underdogs saying "F**k the Brits, we'll start our own country" and it started in Philadelphia...and even when I was a kid, the Eagles football team seemed like the underdogs to root for.

2. I'm a passionate fanatic - Have you heard the stories of Eagles fans? Cheering when Cowboys receiver Michael Irvin had a career-ending injury? Booing Santa Claus? Throwing full beer bottles at opponents as they leave the field? No? Living and dying by every throw, run, tackle, timeout, kick or whatever going on the field? Yelling at the coach with every mishap? Calling for the backup every time it seems the quarterback was an inch or two off on his 50-yard pass? Well, I'm not exactly throwing bottles at the TV...but if you ever see me at Lincoln Field in freezing temperatures in December and I have a few beers in me, you bet your sweet ass I'm tossing an icy yellow snowball at Terrell Owens. "Here's your popcorn flavored snow cone, you sum'bich!!!"

3. I love Philadelphia - The City of Brotherly Love is amazing. If you've never been there, go check it out. It's an incredibly unique city...cheese steaks, Tasty Kakes, and there are basically two people that the city worships, Benjamin Franklin and Rocky Balboa...and half of those don't even really exist. Benjamin Franklin, the crazy uncle of America, who taught himself EVERYTHING, who invented just about EVERYTHING, was a sarcastic funny-loving jackass who messed with EVERYBODY important around the world in the 18th century...and I'm pretty sure was the guy at all the meetings of the Founding Fathers, when everybody was thinking that maybe seceding wasn't such a good idea, that he would stand up and say sarcastically, "You're right. There's absolutely no way that we can win. They're just too powerful with their starched wigs and crimson velvet uniforms and synchronized movements and proper manners. COME ON YOU PUSSIES!!! We have the plan, we have the manpower, we have the home field advantage...and most imporantly...WE HAVE THE TESTICULAR FORTITUDE!!!" Anyway, I'm not sure of the historical accuracy...but that's just my opinion. As for Rocky Balboa, he was the guy who did what he had to do to get by...without a proper education or even mediocre communication skills...but he had the heart and desire to train like he never trained before...and went the distance with the heavyweight champ...and then beat him in the rematch...and then beat Clobber Lang (Mr. T)...and then beat Communism...and then a guy half his age...and then a guy a third his age. Tell me that's not the Underdog story...and he ran up those steps of the Museum of Contemporary Art...and sure he wasn't the first fighter to ever beat his meat...but apparently the first to do it in a meat locker.

By the way, on a side note, does anybody else ever wonder what happened to Clobber Lang after the end of Rocky III? I mean...sure, he lost a good fight to Rocky...but then, did he just retire? He could've made some serious cash as the Bad Boy of Boxing despite losing to Rocky...and he was going to retire after the fight anyway, right? Anyway, just a thought that I've had over the last twenty years or so...

4. I hate the Cowboys - Now, I've been to my share of country-western bars and know me a few songs...and Johnny Cash is a God to me...so it's not that I hate cowboys. I just hate THE Dallas Cowboys football team. I just hate them so much...and I don't really hate anybody, which is the weird thing. Maybe that's too strong of a word. I really really dislike the Cowboys...and often wish karmic harm upon some of them.

5. I'm a glutton for Punishment - Apparently that's the case...because I could jump to another bandwagon...like the 49ers & Cowboys...or the Patriots...or the few people rooting for the Cardinals now (seriously, who had ever imagined the Cardinals in the Super Bowl?) but I guess I'm just a guy who sticks with his team through thick or thin (same thing with the San Antonio Spurs...but that's another story) and I don't know...maybe it's all that delusion that I have stored up in me that if I cheer hard enough that it might help them out...though realistically I'm THOUSANDS of miles away from wherever they're playing...kind of like if I work hard enough, learn enough, and think things through, that maybe I can be President someday...or whatever I really want to be when I grow up...or just achieve whatever goals I have any particular week...then that's what I'm going to do. Besides, when they win Super Bowl...even if it's about fifty years from now, if you think those Boston fans got crazy and irritating when the Red Sox finally won a World Series & the Patriots had their rings, you just wait to see how goddamn annoying Eagles fans will be when they have a Super Bowl ring to go along with the Phillies World Series run this past year.

Anyway, that's my ramble for the day. Gotta go to a jazz club with my mom and aunt to have a drink...or two...or a half dozen or so...to go with the two that I had during the first quarter at the Hard Rock Cafe while cheering along with the Bon Jovi fan club. Have a great day everybody!!! There's always next year...