Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Happy Birthday Vinny

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

I'd like to start things off by wishing a happy 1st birthday to the initial member of the next generation of Love males, my nephew Vinny. You may remember him from many a wonderful pictures throughout this last year or so…including the ultrasound via cell phone where he looked like a faded patch of black dyed denim…but the pictures got better and better. Need proof? Just click on this link and enjoy.

Believe it or not...this was Love at first sight

Watch out ladies...

Great football game last night for anybody that cares about that stuff. Tostitos Fiesta Bowl (with cheese, black beans, jalapenos and salsa) put Texas against "the" Ohio State University…and it was really close and wasn't won until the last few seconds by Texas. Now they think that they have a legitimate argument to be national champions along with the rightful champion Utah Utes…and whoever wins the "national championship" on Thursday between Florida & Oklahoma. Anyway, it was a good game. Congratulations to the Longhorns!!!

Last night I didn't sleep well. No, not because of college football. This is actually a really weird thing for me. I went to bed at a reasonable hour…but just couldn't shut off…which was really weird because I had been tired all day at work. What was I thinking about? What WASN'T I thinking about? What am I going to do about my phone? I can't wait for my mom to visit in a week. This latest weekend in Vegas was amazing. This bed is so comfortable. Am I forgetting to turn something off? The oven? The heater? Look at that view out my window. I wonder if it's going to snow tomorrow. Will Obama really bring about change? What about this 2012 apocalypse thing? How am I gonna make Denver feel like home when I'm gone all the time? I should get some better pillows. I forgot to call my dad and let him know that I was okay. That girl was really hot earlier today. Blah blah blah blah blah. Usually I just close my eyes, take a few deep breaths…think "$teve, you can take care of all of that tomorrow…but now, just go to sleep" and that would be that. Wasn't working last night. Sometimes I think too much. Really all the time but I can usually control it pretty well. So I did some creative writing. A teacher once told me something like "Restlessness is usually a sign of inspiration." Don't worry. I'm not going to bore you with it. It was basically just a lot of rambling anyway…much like this blog…only much lamer. Eventually though, I did get some sleep…and my dad called me this morning at work to check on me. I'm gonna take care of the phone later today…and maybe the pillows too since I have gift cards and need to go grocery shopping anyway. Everything will work itself out. It always does as long as I keep it all in perspective. Not sure why I just rambled about that. Maybe a combination of a slow day and the hope that my ramblings may help you overcome your occasional insomnia, either by suggested methods or boring you to sleep. Whatever works.

On that note of borderline craziness, I also have Kings of Leon stuck in my head…and I blame Bubbles for introducing me to them this past weekend. Their songs "Sex Is On Fire" and "Use Somebody" have been in my head all morning and afternoon so far today. At least it's great music and not that crack noise like "Still Alive" was a few months ago. Anyway, now for the news…

Blow On 'Em, Do Something!!! - An Australian woman accused of setting her husband's genitals on fire because she thought he was having an affair has been charged with murder. Prosecutors said 44-year-old Rajini Narayan confessed to neighbors that she set her husband on fire on December 8th after she saw him hug another woman (repeat, HUG another woman). She was initially charged with endangering life and arson but the charges were upgraded to murder after her 47-year-old husband, Satish Narayan, died from his injuries last week…I'm assuming after many a painful skin graft on his John Shaft. Prosecutor Lucy Boord said Narayan told neighbors she was a "jealous wife" (geez, ya think?) but she hadn't meant to kill him when she doused the sleeping man's genitals with an alcohol-based solvent and then set him on fire. "It belongs to me!" Boord quoted Narayan allegedly saying: "I just wanted to burn his penis so it belongs to me and no one else. I didn't mean this to happen." The husband jumped out of bed and knocked over the bottle of alcohol, causing the fire to spread and resulting in 1 million Australian dollars ($711,000) of damage to their town house and an adjacent property, the Adelaide Advertiser reported. Narayan was remanded in custody for psychological assessment and will reappear in court Friday. She has been charged with murder, arson and three counts of endangering life, as the couple's three children were at home during the incident. This story made me wince a bit. Can you just imagine? Peacefully sleeping away…then instead of being waked by an obnoxious alarm signaling another day at work, it's your CROTCH ON FIRE!!! I'm a firm believer in fitting executions. I say this witch needs to be burned alive…slowly…starting with the crotch. Some call it torture. I call it justice. I mean…was he even having the affair? Has anybody come forward? Who was this woman with whom he apparently hugged her brains out? Maybe it was a cousin that he hadn't seen in a while. So many questions, so few answers…well, I guess no answers now…since he's gone. Those poor kids too. They're basically orphans now because of this craziness. Now they'll have to be raised by dingoes…or maybe a kangaroo. They'll have to survive by hopping, boxing and transporting others of their kind…like some kind of Outback Taxi Service. See, you've got to think ahead before you act irrationally. Who's affected by your decision to be crazy? Who depends on you to keep it together? She's absolutely ass crackers crazy. How do I know this? The quote: "It belongs to me! I just wanted to burn his penis so it belongs to me and no one else." What were you going to do? Take the charred remains, toss it in a bun, add some ketchup and relish. Maybe she had 'roid rage or something. It just reminds me of Lois on that episode of Family Guy where she learns kung fu and grabs Peter's junk, "THIS IS MINE!!! THIS IS WHERE MY BABIES COME FROM!!!"

Inglorious Bastards Update - So to be fair to B-words of all genders, badass director Quentin Tarantino has set a release date for his (allegedly) forthcoming WWII movie "Inglorious Bastards" starring the likes of Brad Pitt, Mike Myers, Maggie Cheung, Diane Kruger and of course…narrated by Samuel L. Jackson. It will open domestically on August 21st, 2009. That's under eight months away. Yippee!!! If you haven't seen all of Tarantino's movies, please do so. You owe it to yourself. I enjoy them a LOT…but I know different strokes for different folks. Just a suggestion.

Rating the Internet? - I've claimed for a while now that my blog would be rated PG-13 for language, suggestive themes and mind-blowing orgasms…but it may soon become the norm. The kind of ratings used for films could be applied to websites in a bid to better police the Internet and protect children from harmful and offensive material according to Britain's minister for culture (does America have a minister of culture?). Andy Burnham told The Daily Telegraph newspaper, published on Saturday, that the government was planning to negotiate with the administration of President-elect Barack Obama to draw up new international rules for English language websites. "The more we seek international solutions to this stuff -- the UK and the U.S. working together -- the more that an international norm will set an industry norm." Giving websites film-style ratings would be one possibility. Internet service providers could also be forced to offer services where the only sites accessible are those deemed suitable for children. Any moves to censor the Internet would go to the heart of a debate about freedom of speech on the World Wide Web. "If you look back at the people who created the Internet they talked very deliberately about creating a space that governments couldn't reach. I think we are having to revisit that stuff seriously now." He said some content should not be available to be viewed. "This is not a campaign against free speech, far from it; it is simply there is a wider public interest at stake when it involves harm to other people. We have got to get better at defining where the public interest lies and being clear about it." Burnham, who has three young children, pointed to the example of a 9 p.m. television "watershed" in Britain before which certain material, like violence, cannot be broadcast, and said better controls were needed for the Internet. The minister wants new industry-wide "take down times" so that websites like YouTube or Facebook would have to remove offensive or harmful content within a specified time once it is brought to their attention. He also said Britain was considering changing libel laws to give people access to legal help if they are defamed online.

Interesting point…and on that note, Terrell Owens sucks…very well. There, I had to get that out before the ratings system is in place. Anyway, I kind of like the idea…but I'm a little scared of who's going to make the decisions on what's offensive. Sure, sex and violence and drug use and all that weird, kinky German stuff that you find has it's time and place and audience (college) but what if I find Sex & the City offensive? Desperate Housewives? Judge Judy? Daytime talk shows? Regis Philbin? Webcams? Any kind of opinion about the Eagles that is not of the positive and uplifting nature? How about this? Instead the a system like G, PG, PG-13, R, NC-17, XXX or whatever…I suggest that we rate the internet on a scale of A, B, C, D or F? Based on its content…but whether or not it's useful…or educational…or some jerk who rambles about whatever. Let's base it on the entertainment value. My grade - C+ and that's good enough for a degree. I don't know. It's tricky, just like any other kind of censorship. What do you guys & gals think?

Anyway, that'll do it for today. Tonight, I'm going to get me a new phone, do some grocery shopping, maybe get me some new pillows. We'll see what the market is for firm yet soft head cushions. Sigh…breasts. I'll let you know when I can start taking phone numbers again. If you have my email, please hook me up. Have a great day everybody!!!

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