Did You Just Grab My Ass?

Good Morning Ladies & Gentlemen,

The past few days have been pretty laid back. I watched Game 5 of the Cavs / Magic at my dad's the other day. Good close game up until the last few minutes when the Cavs won. Game 6 is tonight. Lakes are waiting for whoever in the Finals after they whipped the Nuggets into a fine paste last night. The job has been pretty good. Meeting new people, learning new things, doing a good job, and I got to spend a few hours yesterday at work getting paid to watch "Night at the Roxbury" for a party. You can't really beat that. Great, funny flick if you haven't seen it yet. So yeah, on the job front, still keeping an eye out, still have a plan for progression if I do stay here for a while, still liking the fact that I can have a social life if the proper planets align and the moon is in the 7th house. So ladies...you know where to find me.

A few days ago, I watched "Seven Pounds" starring Will Smith & Rosario Dawson. It's about an IRS agent (Smith) who is taking his wife's death especially hard (as I can only imagine that anybody would) and sets out on a journey of redemption by changing the lives of seven strangers forever...but along the way, he meets a hottie (Dawson) who can screw up all of his plans...because he may be falling in love. (Dun dun duuuuuh) It's really a great flick and I would highly recommend that everybody see it. I wish I could tell you more about it...but I will warn you that it's a little dramatic...but well worth it if you're not into that whole thing. Besides, Woody Harrelson's in it (briefly) and did I mention that you get to look at Rosario Dawson? That's worth the price of a rental right there...and it's a heartwarming tale...sort of. Just watch it. If you don't like it, then you have my permission to boycott me.

In another tale of long dramatic movies, I watched "Gandhi" starring Sir Ben Kingsley (pictured showing that Gandhi was a pimp) for the first time last night. It's of course, the story of Mohandus Gandhi from a simple lawyer...to the man who started human rights in South Africa ("FREE SOUTH AFRICA, you dumb son of a b***h!!!") to the man who gave India its independence...and all the while spreading the message of peace & humanity. Of course, this is one of the great movies of all time and won a lot of awards in 1983 when it was released. It's worth a gander...but I warn you, it's three hours long (and yes, it even has an intermission) but it's very well done. Another funny little thing that I found, is that the movie is directed by Richard Attenborough. Now, you may be asking, "$teve, who the f**k is Richard Attenborough?" Well, to my generation of American children...he's probably best known as the curator & owner of Jurassic Park in the 1993 movie. "Spared no expense." Yeah, that guy. He directed Gandhi. So yeah, check it out if you need a refresher in classic Gandhi-isms like "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind" and a bunch of other great messages of equality & peace that today's world leaders have probably never heard.

The New York Dolls concert tonight was cancelled...but I'm sure that I'll find something to do. My buddy Chris (who helped me move in) said he'll probably stop by...and my mom stopped by this morning for breakfast on her way home from the airport. My mom rocks! Just in case, you didn't know out there. Everybody's who ever met her agrees too...so it's not just me saying it. Anyway, I hope that you all have a great weekend & have lots of fun!!!

People in the Party HOT HOT HOT

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

I'm posting because it's been a few days. Ugh...let's see. Tuesday, I went back to work...and passed off all my training stuff...so I'm officially an employee, not a trainee. That being said, they're going to have somebody watching over my shoulder (very literally) for the next few days to make sure that I don't screw anything up (and wisely so). Today was actually the first day of that...and it went very well. No major screwups (that I know about) and I met a few new coworkers who were "impressed" with how well I did for a trainee. Then again, it may have been the cute trainer trying to flirt with me...but I doubt it because she mentioned her boyfriend more than once and...let's face it, I know my ship...and can BS the rest. So yeah, the new job's going good...and I'm already plotting how to make the most money possible (because let's face it, I like money...and my private dance business isn't taking off like it once did...and I blame the economy).

Tuesday, I also did a good deed by making sure that JL Clyde didn't completely waste her life by NOT watching "Scarface" at least once...and I think she stayed awake through most of it...and when she did doze off, she awoke to low caliber language and high calibre gunfire...and that's what you get when you don't give Tony Montana your full attention. Not sure if she really liked it or she was just humoring me though...and frankly, I don't really care...because I got to see it again...and I keep forgetting that the movie's almost three hours long. It's not like "Benjamin Button" or "Titanic" or something where nothing happens for at least half the movie. It even has a montage to cut down on time...because there's just so much story telling to do. Who knows how much yayo snorting & testicular references there were in the original director's cut? At least five more minutes of just that...and maybe even more development of the love story...but audiences don't want to see that. They want gun violence & badassery...and they somehow managed to get it all in under three hours. Kudos to Brian DePalma. Okay, so maybe I'm hoping to get a walk-on gig on the next Brian DePalma movie (though his next two flicks seem to be about the Boston Strangler & an Untouchables prequel...but who else can play a young Officer Malone but me?)

Let's see, what else? Ugh...I'm gonna go hang out with my dad tonight and watch game 5 of the Eastern Confence Finals. LeBron had better get his act together because the Magic are a win away from the Finals to hopefully play the Nuggets (though the Nugs need to win the next two games for that to happen).

Oh...and I'm going to the New York Dolls concert this Saturday at the Depot...with special guest the Cliks. My favorite thing about the New Yorks Dolls though...is that they're one of the godfathers of punk...and yet, one of their original members, David Johansen is best known by his superhero persona Buster Poindexter. Who's that? Well, have you ever been to a wedding? Or sporting event? Good...and have you ever heard a song that goes something like, "Me so on fire. Me so on fire, feelin' HOT HOT HOT!!! All da people, all around me feelin' HOT HOT HOT!!!" Of course you have...well, Buster Poindexter is the guy singing that song...and his real name is David Johansen...and he's a godfather of Punk. Awesome, right? He may claim that it was all in kitchy fun & showing how naive the pop community is or something...but I'd happily be as kitch all the way to the bank. Kitch-ching!!! Hope I get to meet him...or at least Buster. That'd be sweet.

Anyway, that'll do it for today. I'm already boring the hell out of you, I can tell. It's a sense thing. Have a great night everybody!!!

Memorial Day Weekend

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

It's been a fun packed past few days, I must say. Friday night after work, JL Clyde & I got some sushi at Ginza (now a block from my apartment) and then wandered the streets of downtown at the Magic Hour when everything is awesome. We even stumbled upon a wedding in Gallivan Plaza just in time for the chicken dance. I like living in downtown. The wandering is much more interesting than wandering around the suburban streets of the neighborhoods in Murray. Not nearly as relaxing...just more interesting. Where else can you see stuff like this?

Japanese delicacy - Wasabuni

Who knew Abraham Lincoln was a polygamist?

They're literally rolling this building across the street

"Oh THERE'S where I left my boulder..."

If you have to ask why, just stop reading

"I'm at the corner of 300 South and...really?"

After that, we watched "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" starring Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett. As you may have heard, it's the story of a man who is born 80 years old...and ages backwards...and the story of his life. Being a chick flick, there was a certain level of disbelief associated with this movie to begin with. Don't get me wrong, I believe in a thing called Love (just listen to the rhythm of my heart) but when it comes to movies most of the time, it gets pretty ridiculous. Throw in something like a man who ages backwards...and it's a real stretch...but if you're able to handle that...then this is actually a pretty good flick. It's eerily similar to "Titanic" in some ways (told as a flashback from an elderly woman, involves a tragedy, is about three hours long, etc.) but hey, that won a bunch of awards and broke box office records, so you can't hate on that. Sure, it's about twice as long as it needs to be, seeing as it's based on a short story by F. Scott Fitzgerald ("The Great Gatsby") but it's beautiful cinematography, an intriguing story and well played. So yeah, if you have three hours to spare and want to watch a drama starring Brad Pitt & Cate Blanchett throughout 80 years...then yeah, I'd highly recommend it.

Saturday, there was to be no Conduit...which is okay because I was told that it actually wasn't a comic book convention...but more of a sci-fi / fantasy / role playing convention. I'm sure it still would've been tons of fun...but I think what JL Clyde & I did was more fun. We started off by getting gourmet cupcakes at Mini's (there's a reason they're two bucks a pop), then headed up to the Museum of Natural History at the University of Utah. Now, I went to the U for four years...and because I was so focused on my studies (and worked 40-50 hours a week to pay tuition), I had no idea that there was a Museum of Natural History there. DINOSAURS were within mere blocks of my dorm room...and I had no idea. For that, I blame the Marketing team of the museum. Believe me, I am well aware of the Dinosaur Park in Ogden (can't wait to take my nieces & nephew there) and all the Dino-tractions out in Vernal...but now, I know about the ones right here at home. Please enjoy...it's toad-ally awesome...

University of Utah - GO RUNNIN' UTES!!!

Portrait of the Baddest Mother Lover of All Time

I want a portrait like this one day

There was a frog exhibit

Froggy style - Like Doggy Style...but in wet suits

That's right, MULTIPLE poison dart frogs in one shot

God bless the Educational Nudity

Only one way to follow Educational Nudity, DINOSAURS!!!

Some cave drawings were more elaborate than others

"Now THAT'S some beef"

This is a prehistoric version of...

This guy

After the museum, we grabbed a burger at Big Ed's across the street from the Museum. It's a nice little burger dive that I hadn't known about either...but they make a good cheap burger...and it's a nice college atmosphere...even though we were the only ones in the place with the cook Linda on a Saturday afternoon. Then we wandered over to Graywhale CD and I bought me a few used CDs like "The Essential Sly & the Family Stone", R. Kelly's "TP3 Reloaded" (yes Filly, the one with "Trapped in the Closet" AND the DVD) for $5 and for $3 I found a CD that I hadn't thought about in years. Does anybody remember the Tony Rich Project circa 1995? Well, his "Words" album was there with his one major hit "Nobody Knows" and that song instantly sprung into my head when I saw the CD (and was stuck there for the rest of the day...and still is a little bit) so I figured that it was a sign to buy it...especially for $3. I'll let you know if the rest of the album was worth it.

Then we drove to the dollar theatre to watch "Coraline" starring the voice talents of Dakota Fanning, Teri Hatcher & Ian McShane. It was actually a surprisingly cute movie and that stop-motion claymation or whatever it is really appeals to my generation...and I think most generations. It's the story of a girl named Coraline who moves into a new home at the Pink Palace Apartments with her parents and meets some quirky people...and then stumbles upon this magical doorway to an alternate dimension which at first seems like paradise...but then...something's wrong. You'll have to see the flick to find out what happens. It's a kids show...but trust me, the adults will like it too. I say go check it out if you have kids...or are a kid at heart. If not, watch Benjamin Button or something.

Then we went to the "Fairy Park" (couldn't tell you the real name) somewhere in Sugarhouse and wandered through the trails, saw where the gnomes live, listened to the babbling creek that runs adjacent to the trails, sat on a bench, mocked teenage love from afar, drank some Sweet Tea and just had a nice relaxing time. Then we headed to my place, watched a few movies ("Big Lebowski" & "Thank You for Smoking") and then parted ways. Also, it was pouring rain when JL Clyde left...but I have no problem with walking in a warm summer torrential downpour in my shorts & a T-shirt, so I did that...and it was awesome...and I left all the windows in my apartment open just to let that fresh, clean rain scent flow through and invigorate my senses. I like the sound of rain falling (though being in downtown, there were a lot of assholes in my apartments yelling about something because they were drunk...but they eventually stopped). Normally it's like a lullaby just easing my weary mind to sleep. I may not really have a sense of smell...but something about rain just goes straight to my brain...and as you may have guessed, some of the dirty parts. I'm one of those guys who will sing & dance in the rain, stand with my face up & arms out like I'm in a music video, taste the rain (though I know it carries some of the worst stuff you can possibly ingest within it), let the rain just run down my whole body, soak my clothes, then rip them off & run around doing a raindance if I'm out there long enough. If there's a willing woman nearby, I'd obviously make out, make whoopee, make Love, make a baby in the pouring rain...then name that daughter Rainee. Damn, maybe I should be living in Seattle or Portland or Ireland or something. I don't know what it is, I just like the rain...like more than a friend apparently. Anyway, so yeah, great day...and a pretty good night...and the morning smelled like rain.

Sunday, I went to my brother's for a bit and met up with my buddy Isaiah for the first time since his wedding. We caught up, had a few beers & a few shots (of some of the nastiest rum ever) then I headed up to my mom's for a barbecue with her & my niece Kairi & nephew Vinny. Always good to spend time with the family. Here are some pictures...

Never seen water flowing that color before in my mom's creek...

but I did see it in "Dante's Peak" a few years back

Vinny & Kairi

I spent the night at my brother's because my mom apparently didn't want a ride to the airport from me...so Monday, I just hung with my brother and the kids again...and headed over to Isaiah's for a barbecue. He cooked us up some fine brown sugar Buffalo burgers, a few brauts, even some shrimp. The man can work a grill...at least, he thinks so...but he's also a master bullspitter so we believe him. Good times. As the sun started to set, the kids were getting sleepy & therefore cranky, so we took them home. It was getting late so I made my way towards the car. I was saying goodbyes and Kairi said, "Hugs! Unko $teve, hugs!" Of course I wouldn't leave without hugs...so I leaned in, gave her a big hug, then she made a kissy face, so I gave her a smooch, "Bye sweetie, I'll see ya soon, okay?" "Okay." So I started walking towards the door, then I hear her say, "Bye Unko $teve." "Bye sweetie." "I Love You!!!" Ladies, if you EVER want a man's buttery heart to just melt away, all you have to do is tell him that you Love him...and mean every word of it. At least, that's how it is for me. "I Love You Too, Kairi!!!" So yeah, the drive home, I was just on top of the world lookin' down on creation and the only explanation that I could find...was that my little niece, a beautiful sweet & intelligent young lady told me that she loves me. What more could a man ask for?

So yeah, it was a pretty kick-ass weekend full of dinosaurs, cupcakes, barbecue, movies, old friends, new friends, family, rainstorms, music, adventures, toads, the Dude, mystical woodland creatures, guys getting struck by lightning seven times, sweet tea, good times. I hope that you all had a wonderful Memorial Weekend even moreso than mine. Let's see, other than that, I'm finishing up training soon at work, Lilie's visiting this weekend (and I've got Rock Band 2 ready to go when you are), and who knows what kind of zany adventures await next weekend? Or any time between now and then? Have a great day everybody!!!

Or We Could Just Make Out Or Something

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

How about them conference finals in the NBA playoffs, huh? What? You haven't watched them either. You call yourselves basketball fans? Oh. Well, I do...and I still haven't seen them...but apparently they were great games. Also, my prediction for Blake Griffin going to Oklahoma City, his hometown market was WAY OFF. Apparently he'll instead be going to the #1 Market in all of the United States via the Los Angeles Clippers (who will probably find a way to screw up this pick...and go with the next Michael Olowakandi again). So yeah, I didn't see the big picture in my prediction...and for that, I apologize. I guess I'm not psychic after all...and the NBA Draft Lottery isn't rigged.

The other night, I watched a few great flicks...and first up was "Yes Man" starring the great Sir James Carrey as a man who changes his life by answering yes to every question & opportunity bestowed upon him (otherwise Lord Zod will destroy him through Karma apparently). Along the way, he meets the lovely & kooky Allison (played by the lovely Zooey Deschanel) and they grow close...but then...disaster strikes...in a romantic comedy sense. (Gasp) Anyway, it's a great little funny flick...and I knew that it was going to be great from the intro music being "Separate Ways" by Journey. Anyway, the moral of the story is to be open to opportunity to grow, do fun stuff & meet people...and everything happens for a reason...and Karma comes back around. So yeah, I don't believe in any of that stuff at all...and the only nudity was a series of ass jokes...so this movie was horrible & I wouldn't recommend it to anybody unless they like to laugh a bunch & enjoy the humor of Jim Carrey or the mystical eyes of Zooey Deschanel...or perhaps the casual creepiness of Terence Stamp...or whoever the hell played his boss. That guy was awesome. "You see...what I did there...was I took 'bro' and 'Joseph' and put them together."

What's the best way to follow up a Jim Carrey movie? How about with the Academy Award winner for Best Picture? Okay, maybe not best...but it's what happened. So I finally watched this "Slumdog Millionaire" because I'm a sucker for "realistic" romance movies against all odds...and game shows...and kids playing & living in their own feces. I like the full spectrum of human emotion...and this movie delivers. For those who don't know, this is the story of a young man who grew up in the extreme poverty of Mumbai along with his brother & a girl that they kind of took on as a third musketeer...who turns out to be the love of his life...but life's not always a fairy tale...and so they get separated by the harsh realities of where they live...and then he tries to find her, wherever she may be...and how do you get maximum exposure (even in India)? By getting on TV, preferably a show that everybody watches like "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" and if you're on your way to winning a million bucks, ALL your old friends & acquaintances will seek you out. Anyway, I hate to ruin the ending by telling you that Bruce Willis was a ghost the whole time...so I'd highly recommend that anybody who likes Love should check this movie out...but be warned, it's pretty harsh at some points (think children in poverty & people who would exploit them...and a little religious & "extreme interrogation" violence).

Also, for those of you who took my little "How Well Do You Know Me?" quiz, it is greatly appreciated...and there were some surprising results on there...and then some now so surprising. The Gold Medal for top score...goes to my Wingman...because he claims that he would've gotten 100% if not for a computer error (and because he's a professional BS'er, I'll believe him) and the Silver Medal goes to France...by which I mean, Lilie for getting 80% (and probably higher if she took it seriously). I give a Bronze Medal to everybody else who played. Why? Because you're not really getting anything except a thank you, some general knowledge about me, and a warm smile. In fact, on that note, you all get PLATINUM Medals dipped in diamonds & kryptonite (just in case Superman decides to turn on us).

One thing you all may know about me...is that I share my dreams, especially the odd ones. Well, last night was another one of those. From what I recall, I was at an amusement park of some sort...and I'm standing in line...and I have my hands full of little souvenirs, some in bags. Now, I get to the actual ride and of course, I have to leave the souvenirs with the highly trained teenage professionals that are helping me load into the ride. So I set the stuff down by the exit, pull the lap bar down, keep my hands & feet inside the car at all times, and enjoy the ride. Now, it's not a roller coaster or anything. More like the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland where you just kind of get taken on a track and into all these different rooms and stuff...and some of the stuff that I'm seeing is quite bizarre and creepy in its own right. Think the Haunted Mansion ride...on acid. Some of you may know EXACTLY what I'm talking about. There are mirror rooms with infinity shots and spinning around in them so you're kind of disoriented...and then the colors of the lights change...then into a dining room where everything is still...but its like skeletons in waiter outfits, wolves climbing the walls, a giant roasted turkey in the middle of the table and at the head of the table...is a burlesque dancer standing with one stiletto on the seat of her chair and the other on the table where her dinner plate should be...and so my eye is naturally fixed on her as I'm about to leave the room...and she morphs into some kind of dragon thing (still in the corset and lunges at me but the door slams shut just in time.

So yeah, crazy stuff like that...and then I reach the end of the ride and exit the car. I start to grab my stuff...but I realize that some things are missing. "Where the rest of my stuff?" This teenage girl in a park outfit says, "Oh we gave some of the stuff to that guy" as she pointed to a homeless man sitting near the exit. The thing was...the stuff that she had given him was a little plastic purse for a two-year old...and the Mystery Machine from Scooby-Doo. Obviously this stuff was intended for my niece Kairi...so this sh*t will not stand. "Hey buddy! Gimme my stuff back." "Nah. That chick gave it to me." "Wasn't hers to give...and besides, what do you want with a little purse & toy van anyway?" "(Sigh) You're right. Sorry bud." "It's all good. Hey, I was just about to get some lunch. Do you want some?" "Sure. Who's the purse for anyway?" "My niece. She may be getting too old for stuff like this...but she'll never be too old for her Uncle $teve." Then the dream ended and I heard birds chirping outside of my window at 4 AM. Sorry for the lack of nudity or any kind of a real story...but hey, there was a burlesque dancer morphing into a dragon. Did your dreams last night have that? Didn't think so.

Anyway, that's it for today. Real quick because I'm considering attending some Conduit activities. Conduit is this comic book convention that's in town...and being a Level 3 Nerd, I enjoy some things...but what really sells it, is the people watching. Tonight is apparently a Mascot Contest / Ice Cream Social...and that just sounds like win-win to me. "Ah, these mascots aren't as cool as I would've thought...but at least they have hot fudge sundaes. Best Conduit ever!!!" Anyway, have a great Memorial Weekend everybody!!! This one's for both of us, BSUWG.

How Well Do You Know Dr Love?

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

As predicted, not a whole lot to talk about today...except maybe my ability to read minds when it comes to games of Hangman when during a training game, with seeing only the empty spaces, I was able to correctly guess, "(New Boss Man J)'s Team is the Best" and basically...blow everybody's mind simultaneously...ladies. Anyway, other than that, nothing really to share...so as promised, here's what I thought was an easy quiz in testing how well you know the good Doctor Love...but so far, the best score has been 10 out of 15. Let's see if YOU can do better. Send me your answers...or go on Facebook and take the quiz for immediate results. Enjoy...and good luck!!!

1. Who was my first crush?
a. Molly Ringwald
b. Elisabeth Shue
c. Winnie from the Wonder Years
d. Your mom

2. What is my favorite animal?
a. Kwyjibo
b. Liger
c. Panda
d. Macaque

3. What country have I NOT been to?
a. Brazil
b. Liechtenstein
c. Jamaica
d. China

4. What of these senses do I pretty much lack?
a. Taste (tongue, not style)
b. Humor
c. Smell
d. Decency

5. Where do I have my tattoo?
a. Over my heart
b. Right butt cheek
c. Left shoulder
d. I am tat-less

6. What is my favorite NBA team?
a. Utah Jazz
b. Denver Nuggets
c. Los Angeles Lakers
d. San Antonio Spurs

7. Who am I named after?
a. Steve McQueen
b. Steve Martin
c. Stevie Wonder
d. Stevie Ray Vaughan

8. Where did I get my Gort Lamp with the penile switch?
a. Barcelona
b. Boston
c. Las Vegas
d. Seattle

9. How would I introduce myself to my girlfriend's mother?
a. "Good evening, my name is Steve. It's a pleasure to finally meet you. I can see where (name) gets her looks."
b. "Hello, my name is Steve. I'm the man nailing your daughter."
c. "Nice rack."
d. I would speak with a Spanish accent and an occasional "How you say..."

10. What was the first song I karaoke'd to? (Some of you were there)
a. "Friends in Low Places" by Garth Brooks
b. "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye
c. "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen
d. "No Diggity" by Blackstreet (mmMMM...)

11. What martial arts movie star shares my birthday?
a. Tony Jaa - The LeBron James of martial arts movies
b. Chuck Norris - Whose tears cure cancer...but too bad he doesn't cry
c. Jackie Chan - Who won an MTV Lifetime Achievement award...but so did Chewie & Godzilla
d. Jet Li - The one fearless hero unleashed as a lethal weapon 4

12. How is my niece Kairi's name pronounced?
a. Ky-Ree
b. Kay-Ree
c. Kah-Eye-Ree
d. Carrie

13. What's my favorite kind of food?
a. Italian
b. Chinese
c. Soul
d. Free

14. What is the significance of my cousin Dana?
a. She was my best friend as a child
b. She let me live in her basement when I went to college
c. She has my other kidney...yet still drinks
d. There is no Dana, there is only Zool

15. What is my favorite holiday?
a. Zombie Jesus Day
b. Baby Jesus Day
c. America's Birthday
d. Ladies Dress as Sexy as Possible & Get Drunk While Children Threaten Vandalism (if not appeased with candy) Eve

Have a great day everybody!!! Remember to send me your answers...

And the First Pick Goes To...

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Yesterday was a pretty chill day. I slept in a bit, moved the furniture around in my apartment a bit & have finally started putting up some decorations, and then I called to see what my dad was up to...and he had just finished doing a Harley charity run, so we decided to hang out and watch Game 7 of the Celtics/Magic playoff series. I also got to listen to my stepmom talk about her "experience" camping trip to the Valley of Fire near Vegas...and basically sweat all day in hundred degree desert temperatures, then dance around a fire all night. I'm thinking this is one of those once-in-a-lifetime experiences for her. I thought she knew that you slept during the day when you're in or near Vegas. She has so much to learn. So yeah, the game was okay...and the Magic won.

I also thought it was REALLY odd that just about every commercial during the game was about Kobe & LeBron. Not seperately...but together...like there may be some kind of conspiracy to have the two of them meet in the Finals or something...just throwing that out there. All the announcers were already talking about it...and my dad & I were like, "Ugh...the defending champions are on TV right now. Remember last year when you were talking about the Celtics & Lakers in the Finals since Christmas? Can you at least wait until it's not blatantly obvious that's what the plan is." Speaking of which, my prediction for tomorrow...for the NBA Draft Lottery...is the the number one pick goes to the Oklahoma City Thunder. Why, you ask? The number one pick is going to be Blake Griffin, that's a given. Who was raised in Oklahoma...went to the University of Oklahoma...and will play professionally in Oklahoma...because he's the marketable name in the draft. Think LeBron going to his hometown Cleveland Cavaliers...or even this last year when Derrick Rose went to his hometown Chicago Bulls. Maybe it's just luck...but that's my prediction. P.S. Tyler Hansborough's playing for the Bobcats next year. No matter where they pick in the lottery, whether number two or number ten. Write it down. So let it be written...

Anyway, enough about my sports business conspiracy theories, the other day I finally watched a movie that I was really excited to see when I first heard about it...and then quickly died down when I heard the details...and then completely fizzed out when other people watched it opening weekend & I respect their opinions. What movie is this, you ask? "The Day the Earth Stood Still" remake. Now, the original is a classic...and if you haven't seen it, I'm sorry to hear that. Great flick. This one...is surprisingly boring & slow-paced. Now I can spend all movie watching Jennifer Connelly stare in complete amazement with those beautiful sapphire peepers of hers (and pretty much had to for half the movie) but the rest of the movie was...well, not good. Keanu was born to play Klaatu...but that's not really a compliment. John Cleese was in the movie...for two minutes. Gort was...I mean, why did they even try messing with it? Seriously. I'm still scratching my head as to why Will & Jada's kid is even in the movie other than to be annoying as hell. He's the Jar Jar of this movie...and I hate to wish the end of the human race starting with a ten-year old...but it somehow got to that point. I don't know, it didn't really appeal to me at all. Still the best movie of the day...but that was only because it was up against W & Twilight. Again, not really a compliment. Watch the original. It's better written...and executed, even without the CGI and multi-million dollar budget. Now, for something that's going to really make you scratch your head...

Keanu Update - Keanu Reeves is attached to star in a contemporary retelling of Robert Louis Stevenson's classic novella "The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde" for Universal Pictures says The Hollywood Reporter. Plot details of this interpretation are being kept under wraps, though the story of the doctor who scientifically develops an evil self has been adapted many times before. Justin Haythe ("Revolutionary Road") is penning the script while Nicolas Winding Refn (who?) is in negotiations to direct. The likes of John Malkovich, Kirk Douglas, Michael Caine, Jack Palance, Boris Karloff, Dougray Scott, Leonard Nimoy, Anthony Perkins, James Nesbitt, Christopher Eccleston, Anthony Andrews, Udo Kier and even David Hasselhoff have all played versions of the character over the past five decades...and now, Keanu. I even remember a comedy version of this flick starring Tim Daly & Sean Young...and what was "The Mask" but a similar take on the dichotomy of man, what he presents to the world...and the inquenchable thirst for life, love & power that parches his very soul unless fully emersed in his most primal instincts...but I'm only assuming this one isn't supposed to be funny. Really? Keanu? There are so many great actors out there...and you go with Johnny Utah? Well, I guess it could be worse. Wait, what's that? Another update?

Jekyll & Hyde Update: Part Two - Hot on the heels of the news that a contemporary 'Jekyll and Hyde' film entitled "Jekyll" is in the works with Keanu Reeves, a rival project has sprung up. Forest Whitaker and Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson are attached to play the lead roles in "Jekyll and Hyde", the classic tale about a doctor who invents a potion that unleashes his violent alter ego says Variety. Abel Ferrara (who?) helms this re-imagining which, like its rival, will also have a contemporary setting (no sh*t). Brett Walsh and Randall Emmett are producing. Shooting kicks off later this Summer. So yeah, Forest Whitaker AND Fitty...are going to play what I can only assume is a mix of Jekyll & Hyde & the Nutty Professor.

The good news from all of this though...is apparently, even I could become the director of a major Hollywood remake of Jekyll & Hyde. I could get somebody like...Gary Oldman to do it. No, that'd make too much sense. Wait! I've got it. Zach Efron!!! And it'll be a musical. From the guys who brought you the 40 Year Old Virgin. It simply can not miss. I am a damned genius. I'll invite you all to the ceremony for my star on the Walk of Fame.

That'll do it for the day. If you're bored, I made a "How Well Do You Know $teve?" quiz on the Facebook. I'll probably copy it over her tomorrow if I have nothing better to share. Have a great day everybody!!!