Monday, March 9, 2009

Doing Drugs with Dr Love

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Not a whole heck of a lot happened yesterday other than me experimenting with my cooking. I would also just like to clarify that "experimentation" with my usually out of necessity rather than just wanting to do something different. It's one of those things where you look through your fridge and cupboards, take an inventory of what you have, and think of possible concoctions that won't end in some kind of culinary abortion. Barbecue sauce really helps...but was unnecessary this go-around. I actually made some decent stir fry...with turkey. I know, I know. Turkey? What? There's a reason that they usually only have duck & chicken on the delivery menu...but it was actually pretty good with some baby corn, water chestnuts, green beans, red peppers, sliced carrots, a few peanuts for texture, some lo mien noodles, and a smidgen of soy sauce (to help juice up the otherwise dry turkey) all fried up in a wok...and voila, I have dinner for a few nights. Anyway, just thought I'd share that with you...because really I have nothing else to report...other than the news...

Corner of Crack & Cocaine - No, not a hilarious antecdote from an adventure near the Broadway Lofts…but rather a few intriguing stories of hiding drugs that I found in the news. First, police in Dunleith, Delaware arrested a 31-year-old pregnant woman who had 73 bags of heroin stashed in the waistband of her pants. Police said the woman was a passenger in a car stopped by officers on Wednesday because they believed it had illegal window tint. In the car, police said officers found six bags of heroin, a loaded gun and a stun gun in the trunk. When officers took her to police headquarters, they found 73 bags of heroin in her waistband. The driver, a 27-year-old man, was charged with drug and weapons offenses. Both are being held on bail. That's a lot of waist to be storing that many bags. Also, note to any drug dealers out there, if you're transporting then obey ALL traffic laws…especially the seemingly meaningless ones like window tints.

Hollow Leg - Secondly, in Spain, a 66-year-old passenger who arrived at Barcelona airport in a wheelchair and with a leg cast made entirely of cocaine was arrested on Friday as he tried to get through customs. The man, flying from Santiago, Chile, also had cocaine stashed in six cans of beer and two folding stools in his luggage. Police confiscated nearly 5 kilograms (11 pounds) of the drug in total. Police believe the man, or his accomplices, may have broken the leg on purpose so as not to arouse the suspicions of customs officials. Spain is the primary entry point for cocaine into Europe and is the largest consumer of the drug in the European Union. I'm just wondering if somebody had to draw a short straw to get their leg broken to get the cast…or if they just went with the 66-year old guy who couldn't defend himself. "Couldn't we just pretend it's broken?" "No, we've got to sell it on realism. We don't want them to be suspicious." "Well, what about the six-pack of beer and the folding chairs? Wouldn't that be a little suspicious?" "Look, the folding chairs are for the futbol game tomorrow night and it's either in the beer cans or up your ass, which do you prefer?" "Okay, break the leg and bring those cans."

Pirate Radio - Thirdly, Federal Communications Commission (FCC) officials and deputies from the Orange County Sheriff's gang unit in Orlando, Florida busted a pirate radio station they say was reportedly broadcasting information on where to buy drugs. Authorities say the "Street Heat" broadcast included live advertisements for criminal gangs and discussions of where to buy drugs and find prostitutes. Balthazard Senat and Christopher Robert Roth were arrested Friday and charged with unauthorized transmission and possession of cannabis with intent to deliver. Officials say Roth was a DJ for the radio station. A spokeswoman for the sheriff's office and a person answering the phone at the Orange County Corrections Department had no information on whether the men had retained attorneys. Wow, what a helpful service. I's like a morning traffic report...only it's an all-day drug traffic report...and according to this report it was ran by Pirates...which is always awesome. "ARRRRRRGH, this be your Captain speaking...bringing ye the greatest hits of the 80's, 90's and today. This next classic be one of my all-time favorites...and brings back memories of plunderings long ago. It's the R&B maestro AARRRRRRGH Kelly with Feelin' On Your Booty...on the only station rapin' & pillagin' and bringin' ye the mornin' wake & bake report." "RAAAR!!! Wake & bake (whistle)" "That's right, Polly. W-K-ARRRR-P Orlando (not Cincinnati)." Now for some legalized drug stories...

Bad Memory Pill - Speaking of having things shoved up your ass, scientists have discovered a drug that could erase fearful memories in humans. Researchers say the method, using existing blood pressure pills, could be useful for weakening or erasing bad memories in people with post-traumatic stress disorder. Unfortunately, other research has shown, bad memories stick better than good ones. Studies in animal models have shown that fearful memories sometimes change when recalled, a process known as reconsolidation, and that this reconsolidation stage is vulnerable to the blood pressure drugs, called beta-adrenergic receptor blockers. In the new study on humans, by Merel Kindt and colleagues at University of Amsterdam in The Netherlands, 60 subjects were taught to associate pictures of spiders with a mild shock, creating a fearful memory. Later, they were given either a beta-blocker called propranolol (sounds like a mix of propane & laughing out loud) or a placebo (mmm sugar pills). The group given propranolol had a greatly decreased fear response to the spider pictures 24 hours later, according to a synopsis of the work from the journal Nature Neuroscience…and the fear response did not return, suggesting that their fear memory was completely erased. Some ethicists (a.k.a. hippies) see problems, question whether such treatments begin to alter what it means to be human. "An interesting complexity is the possibility that victims, say of violence, might wish to erase the painful memory and with it their ability to give evidence against assailants," said professor John Harris, an expert in biological ethics at the University of Manchester, in an article in the Daily Mail. "Similarly criminals and witnesses to crime may, under the guise of erasing a painful memory, render themselves unable to give evidence." I think the 5th Amendment can do that too…but whatever. Meantime, scientists are zeroing in on how fear grips the mind. In 2005, researchers found a fear-factor gene that helps distinguish between people who have no fear and those who are afraid of everything. And last fall, scientists discovered the glue that keeps fearful memories stuck in the brain, a protein called beta-catenin that helps long-term memories solidify. There's apparently a natural way to rid yourself of bad memories, too. A 2007 study involving brain scans found that test subjects had the ability to suppress specific memories at a particular moment in time through repeated practice (it's called Denial…and it's not a big river in Egypt). Anyway, it's only a matter of time before scientists find one of those Men In Black flashy thingies that'll erase your memory. Stay tuned...

Well, that'll do it for today. I hope that you got your daily fix. I know I did. I'll probably have seconds of my new dish, Ter Ke Lo Mein and do a yoga class or something. Really not a lot going on here. It didn't snow. It's supposed to be in the sixties today...and then thirties tomorrow...and then back to the sixties by Thursday...and maybe snow in the weekend. I'm pretty convinced that the meteorologists here in Denver simply have no clue and are just doing a consensus guess as to what the weather's going to be any more than three hours from now. You can't blame them because there's a lot of variables in effect like precipitation getting dumped in the mountains, wind speeds, any conflicting current from the Great Plains or the Great White North...but God bless 'em, they look fantastic feeding us their guess...and that's what's important. Have a great day everybody!!! May you day be sunny...or rainy...or snowy...whatever you're looking for this particular day!!!

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