Every Hero Needs Theme Music

Good Morning Ladies & Gentlemen,

Today was a half-day at work because of all the work I did this weekend…and the company not wanting me to go into overtime…because then my supple salary becomes quite comfortable…and in these times, that's a big no-no. No worries. I'm sure that I'll find something to do with my rare midweek daylight hours. I mean…if the roads decide to melt (now that it's going to allegedly be in the 20's temperature-wise today) then I may go pick up my projector TV which finally came back to Best Buy (only two weeks late) then I could hit up the gym since I decided against it yesterday. Seriously, it was hard to convince myself to do much of anything yesterday because it was so damn cold. It was like "I could go to the gym and get a good workout…but then I'd have to brave a full minute or so in the weather. Hmm, maybe I'll just do some push-ups and stuff at home. I'll have to keep in motion to keep from freezing anyway." So yeah, that's basically what I did…and cooked…because the kitchen gets warm when you cook…and delicious. Anyway, still looking for a female thermal blanket if anybody's interested.

During my lazy day in which the Eagles continued their run to the Super Bowl, I watched a classic movie…that I had never seen before called "I'm Gonna Git You Sucka" which was written, directed and starring the great Keenen Ivory Wayans…and I think was his first such movie, later doing other classics like "Scary Movie", "White Chicks", "Don't Be A Menace in South Central While Drinkin' Your Juice in the Hood" and of course the "In Living Colour" TV Series. Basically, this movie was a star-studded parody of the blaxploitation films of the 70's (that I love so much for no apparent reason) and centers around a returned soldier Jack Spade (Wayans) who comes back to the hood after his brother OG'd (Over Gold) on chains and died. Now he finds his hood in turmoil…and has to bring kingpin Mr. Big (John Vernon) to justice…street justice. However, he's not a black hero yet…so he needs help…and gets it from the likes of John Slade (Bernie Casey), Hammer (the late great Isaac Hayes) and Slammer (Jim Brown) among others. Also starring in this movie are the likes of every Wayans (Damon, Shawn, Marlon, even Kim), Clarence Williams III, David Alan Grier, Antonio Fargas (Huggy Bear), John Witherspoon, Tony Cox, even a Chris Rock cameo. It's a funny movie…especially if you liked those kind of movies…and it will leave you wondering, "How did he go to the bathroom with all that sh*t on?" Check it out if you like Wayans pictures.

One of the key themes of the show as well…is that rule that every Hero needs his own theme music. As anybody who helped me research and develop the PIMP (Personal Introduction Music Player) in my Marketing classes knows, I fully agree with this notion…and have often wondered what my theme music would be. Sure, I'd like to think that it's some badass funky Isaac Hayes riff like "Shaft" or Curtis Mayfield's "Superfly" but apparently I was only an itch in my daddy's pants back in the 70's. Then I start thinking that I should be some new age funky hip-hop lick like from Dr. Dre…you know, like just about every 50 Cent or Game song out there…but that doesn't really seem to be my thing. A little too rough & tumble maybe. Maybe a smooth R&B number…complete with backup singers doing coordinated dances…but apparently I can't use Motown copyrights because of my distaste for the city of Detroit. So basically, I'm thinking that probably the most fitting theme music for me…is "Me & My Monkey" by Robbie Williams…because it's got a nice mariachi tone to it with an impressive wall of sound intro & horns…and it tells the story about a man & his monkey friend going to Vegas and getting into a bit of a tussle. It's on the bar on the right if you wanna give it a listen. I don't know what do you guys think? Should I consider an original funky piece from P-Funk or something? What would your theme music be? Now here's some news...

Heart of the Amish - U.S. Researchers said on Thursday that a rare genetic abnormality found in people in an insular Amish community protects them from heart disease, a discovery that could lead to new drugs to prevent heart ailments. About 5 percent of Old Order Amish people in Pennsylvania's Lancaster County have only one working copy rather than the normal two of a gene that makes a protein that slows the breakdown of triglycerides, a type of fat that circulates in the blood. "People who have the mutation all have low triglycerides," said Toni Pollin of the University of Maryland School of Medicine in Baltimore, who led the study. "This gives us clues that ultimately could develop future treatments." Triglycerides naturally disappear more quickly in these people than in people without this gene mutation. High triglyceride levels, often due to a high-fat diet, can contribute to hardening and narrowing of the arteries, raising the risk of heart attack, heart disease and stroke. New drugs might target this gene, called APOC3, to decrease the amount of the protein it produces. Pollin and colleagues looked at the genes of about 800 Amish people, finding that about one in 20 had the mutation and they also had lower triglycerides and less risk of cardiovascular disease. They also had high levels of HDL-cholesterol (good cholesterol) and low levels of LDL-cholesterol (bad). Having only one working copy of APOC3 left people with half the normal level of the protein the gene makes. "The Old Order Amish are ideal for genetic research because they are a genetically homogenous people who trace their ancestry back 14 generations to a small group that came to Pennsylvania from Europe in the mid-1700s." Since then, the devoutly Christian Amish have largely kept to themselves in close-knit farming communities, typically marrying other Amish people. Amish communities also are found in Ohio, Indiana and elsewhere. The researchers believe this genetic mutation was introduced into the Lancaster Amish population by a person born in the mid-1700s, and the trait seems to be very rare or completely absent in the general population. You heard it here first. The Amish are genetic freaks…but in a good way. Hmm, maybe it has something to do with hard work and chores every day of their life and a wholesome diet of foods taken straight from the Earth with no preservatives or anything like that. Nyeh, that's crazy talk. It's all this little abnormality in their genetic code through inbreeding…which is why children of the South don't have the same thing. This can only mean one thing. We must drink the blood of the Amish to lose weight. Sure, they'll put up a good fight with their fiery torches and pitchforks…but we'll dazzle them with our weaponry and tase them…so that the blood is fresh. What? That's what the doctor's talking about, right? Going vampire on the Amish to absorb their genetic code? Or is it more like a Highlander thing, where I have to decapitate them to get the Quickening?

Electric ROCK Therapy - A new music therapy room at a hospital on Florida's Gulf Coast is being named for AC/DC lead singer Brian Johnson. Johnson and other rock stars have supported an effort to buy music equipment and provide music education for children, including those who are in the hospital. Music equipment and enhancements to the room at Sarasota Memorial Hospital are being donated by the John Entwhistle Foundation, named for the late bassist for the Who. Johnson and other rockers have worked to raise money for the charity. The man himself will be on hand at the hospital for the dedication of the Brian Johnson Music Therapy Room next week. Not exactly sure how soothing the music of AC/DC is in a hospital atmosphere…but I wouldn't mind listening to their greatest hits while I'm sitting there…or lying there in a bed. I can only imagine the stirring speech he'd give at the ceremony. "Hello kids. When we started this project…ah (bleep) it, you don't wanna hear about that. You kids wanna rock, right? Do you wanna rock?" Crowd applauds in confusion. "I said…DO YOU WANNA ROCK???" Louder applause. "I SAID…DO YOU WANNA ROOOOOOOOOCK???" Crowd goes nuts. "All right then, I hope this stuff helps you get better. See you on tour. Good night Miami!!!" Surgeon by his side says, "Mr. Johnson, it's Sarasota…and it's 9:30 AM." "What the hell am I doing up at 9:30 AM? Ah hell, I guess I should give 'em an encore then. They're up early too. Where's the rest of the band?" "They're not here sir." "WHAT? Did the band break up? We've been together for a quarter-century!!! What happened last night? I blacked out. Did I make fun of Angus' outfit again?" Anyway, glad to see that AC/DC is supporting a good cause.

Hail Mary - A nude model resembling the Virgin Mary on the cover of the Mexican edition of Playboy magazine, published only days before a major Mexican festival dedicated to the mother of Jesus, prompted the company's U.S. headquarters on Friday to apologize. The magazine, which hit newsstands on December 1 as ceremonies began leading to Friday's pilgrimage to the Mexico City shrine of the Virgin of Guadalupe, showed a model wearing nothing but a white cloth over her head and breasts (I guess if they're fake, you technically wear them). She is standing in front of a stained glass window with the cover line, "We Love You, Maria" in Spanish. The model's name is Maria Florencia Onori. The Virgin of Guadalupe, said to have appeared to a 16th century Indian peasant, is Mexico's most revered Roman Catholic figure and the annual pilgrimage to the Mexico City basilica dedicated to her is one of the world's largest religious events. In a statement, Chicago-based Playboy Enterprises Inc said the Mexican edition of the magazine is published by a licensee, and the company did not approve or endorse the cover. "While Playboy Mexico never meant for the cover or images to offend anyone, we recognize that it has created offense, and we as well as Playboy Mexico offer our sincerest apologies," the statement said. Raul Sayrols, publisher of Playboy Mexico, said in a statement, "The image is not and never was intended to portray the Virgin of Guadalupe or any other religious figure. The intent was to reflect a Renaissance-like mood on the cover." Playboy Mexico printed 100,000 copies of the issue. I didn't even know there was a Mexican Playboy. I'm gonna have to check out the website or something now…and see if there's a Playboy Brasil…or a Playboy Francais…or a Playboy Freakydeekysexworld (Asia). Oh…and the publisher didn't convince me that he was going for a "Renaissance-like mood" because of the whole "We Love You, Maria" thing…but yeah, he was kind of backed into a corner. It happens. If it had been "We Love You, Venus" or something like that, it might have worked.

Well, that'll do it for today. I hope that everybody's having a great time out there and getting ready for the holidays. Only about a week left until Christmas. I personally can't wait to see my family and friends again. Still not sure where exactly we're gonna all meet up that Saturday after Christmas…but it's gonna be fun. Have a great day everybody!!!