Welcome to the Mile High Club

Good Morning Ladies & Gentlemen,

FINALLY!!! After over a month of waiting since the interview and alleged answer the next day, weeks before being offered the job, then having the offer rescinded on a technicality, then re-re-re-reapplying, then re-interviewing, then more waiting, I was offered the same job again. YAY!!! Then I had to spend the next hour or so (last hour of the working day for everybody) running around trying to find a fax machine and/or scanner to send in a signed copy of an acceptance letter…but their fax machine was down and our scanner was down and another department's didn't work and yet another department's finally came though…and after all that running around - IT'S FINALLY OFFICIAL!!! I'M MOVING TO DENVER!!! Woo-hoo!!! After the great weird circlejerk that was the month of September, now it seems like everything's starting to settle…and I can use the rest of the month of October to move all my stuff to a new, shiny, affordable and fashionable apartment in the Mile High City.

Due to more conflicting HR shenanigans, yesterday suddenly became my last day at work here in Utah (fittingly a twelve-hour day that popped up last minute) and now I have a full week off until I start working next Friday. The plan is to pack today in preparation for the big move, have some fun over the weekend (Any ideas? Holla!), stop by work to turn in my badge & gun, spend Sunday with my dad tuning up my car for the multiple roundtrips that it will endure in the coming weeks, months, years, and maybe Tuesday drive to Denver to check out some apartments for a few days before I start my new job on Friday. Sound like a good plan? Yeah, I thought so too. I'm truly going to miss all my family & friends from people that I've known since the last millennium (Isaiha, Spitso, my family) to coworker buddies (JL Clyde, the Mad Scientist, Bubbles, Lilie, Filly, etc.) to others I've met along the way (The Wingmans) to those I just met two weeks ago (Bone Junior) but it's okay. We'll still keep in touch...and now you all just have a reason to come to Denver, watch a concert at Red Rocks, maybe catch a Rockies game, and have a few drinks at Rock Bottom, all that combined...it's gonna Rock. Anyway, more on that later as we proceed. Until then, here's some movies I saw last night and the news...

Last night, JL Clyde & I were flipping through the On Demand movies...and found one called "Arabesque" with Gregory Peck and the lovely Sophia Loren. They had me at Sophia Loren (and that is was 1966 Sophia, though I still think she's gorgeous, even at the age of 74) but then they threw in a story about a hieroglyphics expert (Peck) hired to deschiper some by a mysterious trillionairre. Along the way, a Middle Eastern Prime Minister convinces him to do it and spy a little to help save freedom and democracy in his country. Then he bumps into a gorgeous mistress (Loren) and they combine forces to save the day...but who's playing who? Who can you trust when everybody seems to be on the other side? Can they stop the assassination of the Prime Minister? Yeah, it sounded pretty cool...and it really was. Sophia Loren's hair and makeup is perfect throughout the movie...even when jumping out of the way of cars, running through the Zoological Gardens, in the shower (oh yeah), wrapped in bedsheets, it's quite remarkable. There's also a LOT of camera shots using reflective surfaces and various lenses to try to show a skewed perspective (and as much Sophia as possible) but yeah, it's a pretty good movie...especially for a 60's romantic comedy action mystery thriller. I say check it out.

Then we followed it up with hands-down the WEIRDEST & CRAZIEST MOVIE that I have ever seen. I've seen a few David Lynch movies...and this one pretty much blew it away. It's On Demand if you have Comcast and want to just sit stunned and confused and occasionally laughing for about two hours at just how absurd it is. The movie is called "Fellini - Satyricon" and is directed by Federico Fellini. The story is...well, to be perfectly honest, I didn't really catch all of that. Allegedly it's about two friends in ancient Rome who start out arguing over the ownership of a boy sex slave...and from there, it just gets even weirder...and there's like scene cuts through time...and then there's elephants...and crazy orgies...and people staring at you (in the 4th wall) to I guess kind of remind you that you're watching a movie...and it was effective. I spent most of the time thinking to myself, "Okay, somebody had to write this script, plot out the scenes, build the sets, bring actors together, dress them up like this, tell them their vision, convince them they're not crazy, and shoot this movie...and I'm sure that they had to do more than one take. Simply remarkable. The guy must have been very persuasive." I just really couldn't turn away. It was so weird, I do a horrible job of descibing it...so I'll just leave you with, if you're looking for a movie full of crazy, crazy stuff...and don't mind being in a state of constant confusion while watching a movie, check it out. If not, don't feel bad. Now, here's the news...

Hefner Update - God among men & entrepreneur Hugh Hefner has confirmed reports that he & his granddaughter…er, severely junior girlfriend Holly Madison are have broken up. Luckily this playa has two more IN THE SAME BED and a few more in waiting. Don't hate the playa, hate the game. Anyway, back to the heartbreak of the moment. According to reports, Hefner said, "If she says it's over, it's over…but like I've said before, she is the love of my life, and I expected to spend the rest of my life with her." The Playboy mogul says the relationship started to crumble about six months ago when they learned he was unable to father a child with Holly. Why? Because he's 82 years old and that just isn't natural, is it? "With my sperm count, it's not possible," Hefner explained. "I was willing (viva Viagra) but it was not possible…She'd like to be married and have children, but it's not in the cards here for me." Where does that leave Hef and the other two Girls Next Door, Kendra Wilkinson and Bridget Marquardt? Hefner says they're still romantically involved, but admitted, "the relationship with Kendra will be ending when she moves out, probably by the end of this year." (For an alleged spin-off project, so I'm told) Hef ain't wasting anytime getting back in the saddle though. In the last week, he's been spotted with 19-year-old twins Kristina and Karissa Shannon (pictured above). "They very much want to be girlfriends and now under the present circumstance, they probably will become my girlfriends," Hefner says. But wait…there's more. A college senior from Georgia whom Hefner identifies as Amy Leigh Andrews is also waiting in the wings. "She was testing here this past weekend and she said she'd like to be a girlfriend, too." The 82-year-old Hefner laughed, "I'm dancing as fast as I can." The man is truly an inspiration. His girlfriend leaves him…for Criss Angel (according to rumors) who's a full half-century younger and a magician…another one is leaving him in a few months…and he's got a set of twins and a Georgia Peach in waiting. May this man live to be a thousand years old…and bestow his wisdom to those less fortunate.

Angelina Breastfeeding on Mag Cover - We've already seen the baby pictures — now see the photo of Angelina Jolie apparently breastfeeding on the cover of W magazine. Jolie appears on the cover of the W's November issue in a sleeveless top, which has been opened to reveal part of her left breast and a tiny hand ostensibly belonging to one of her twins, Knox Leon and Vivienne Marcheline, who were born in July. The black-and-white photo shows Jolie smiling, her long brown hair cascading over her shoulder. The wind gently blowing over her porcelain skin as the tall stranger slowly sneaks up behind her and whispers French poetry into her ear, "Tu as un mirroir dans ta poche? Parce que je me vous dans ton pantalon…" Wait!!! Sorry, got off on a bit of a tangent there. There's ugh…there's no stranger in that picture. Anyway, the cover headline promises exclusive "private photos" of the 33-year-old actress by her partner Brad Pitt. Jolie last caused a stir when she wore a white nursing bra underneath her tank top on the cover of People magazine after she and Pitt welcomed daughter Shiloh, now 2 years old. Another breast-feeding cover that got people talking was in the summer of 2006, when Babytalk magazine published a photo of a baby and part of a woman's breast in profile. The magazine conducted a poll of more than 4,000 readers; a quarter of responses were negative, finding the photo inappropriate. Suck it people!!! (Rimshot) Breastfeeding is a beautiful and natural thing…just like Angelina (I don't care about the augmentation rumors). Anyway, just thought that I'd share that with all of you…and together, we can all Save the Tatas!!!

Movie Marathon - No, this is not my next big party to celebrate FINALLY getting that job in Denver…but rather something for the record books. Suresh Joachim of Toronto, and Claudia Wavra of Germany, claim to have broken the world record for continuous movie watching, after seeing 57 films in 123 hours in a plastic-glass house in New York's Times Square. A Guinness World Records spokesman said it appears the non-dynamic duo have broken the record but said it will take two weeks to officially verify (why?). The attempt began Oct. 2 when eight challengers started watching "Iron Man." After 72 hours, only two remained. They watched "Thelma and Louise" until the end on 3:10 p.m. Tuesday. Susan Sarandon, a star of that film, dropped off the final film (she really needs work). The rules: Each movie had to be viewed until the last credit rolled, and competitors couldn't divert their eyes from the screen (Not even for some sweet makeout action?). They were allowed 10-minute breaks between movies (I assume for makeout action and/or bathroom breaks…hmm, unless the popcorn bucket and large soda could be used…never mind). This sounds like…a HUGE waste of time…to me anyway. You all know that I watch movies. A LOT of movies…and cartoons…and TV series…and neighbors outside my window…but I couldn't imagine trying to do it for over FIVE DAYS consecutively. Kudos to Suresh & Claudia. Hmm, I wonder what the record is for sweet makeout action while a movie is playing…you know, with the ten minute water & bathroom breaks, of course. Might be worth looking into. I'd be willing to train for that one. However, that one is a team sport. Anybody interested?

Well, that'll do it for today. My mom's coming back from two weeks in Minot, North Dakota today so I'm sure that she'll have LOTS of stories to tell me from the Great White North. Oh...and I may have a few things to tell her too. Should be a good time. In the meantime, I'll get to doing some more packing. Gotta get that stuff squared away while I can. Have a great day everybody!!! Let me know if you wanna do anything this weekend.