Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Mmm Chile Mac

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Today was a fairly uneventful day at work...but busy as usual. I like busy. It means I might have a job for a while...and I sure don't want to move again. Anyway, on that note, here's the news...


We’ve All Misspelled Chili – What do you expect from a country whose name is misspelled to begin with? I mean…it’s not like they were named after the explorer America Vespucci. What? His name was Amerigo? Oh. Does the President know about this typo? It’s okay, I’ll send him a text. He’s probably in a meeting or something. Anyway, Chile's mint has sacked its managing director after he sent into circulation thousands of coins bearing an incorrect spelling of the country's name (Chili? Chilly? Chillee? So many possibilities). The 50-peso coins, worth around 10 U.S. cents each, were issued in 2008 with Chile spelled "Chiie" -- an error that was only noticed late last year. "Director Gregorio Iniguez has been fired over a series of issues, including the misspelled coins, which have brought the institution into disrepute," a mint official told Reuters on Friday, speaking on condition of anonymity. "Some of the coins are still in circulation. They still carry their value. Some collectors are buying them up because they feel they are rare." We all make mistakes…and this one isn’t really that big of one. The director of a mint is a busy man…and IF he signed off on the proofs, maybe he didn’t have his reading glasses on or something and he didn’t notice the little dash that differs an i from an l. See? Even you had to check twice. Oh yeah, I caught you. Don’t deny it. Anyway, if there were other issues (like I’d probably get fired for fornicating with female coworkers on the paper press and counting “One million two hundred and twenty thousand, one million two hundred and thirty thousand, one million two hundred and forty thousand…”) then I guess the firing was warranted. If not, then shame on the Chilean Mint. Mmm… Andes mints…

Robin Hood – Don’t worry, it’s not an update of the Ridley Scott / Russell Crowe movie coming out soon. Instead this Robin Hood is accused of stealing…and NOT to give to the poor. Also, there’s no need for horrible fake British accents from Nottinghamshire…as this story comes from my home this time last year, Denver of the Colorado region. Authorities said a 34-year-old named Robin Joshua Hood found someone's wallet in downtown Denver and apparently began using the man's name in a ploy to avoid being caught on a warrant (ah yes, apparently the Sheriff is not pleased with his antics either). Hood told investigators he was being investigated for drug charges. Hood was charged Friday with identity theft and impersonation (“Unlike other Robin Hoods, I can speak with an English accent”). Authorities said Hood's true identity was uncovered after an employee at a record store stopped him as he allegedly was leaving without paying for three baseball caps on January 6th (I’m sure to give to homeless children on the 16th Street Pedestrian Mall…I mean, who needs three caps? Really?). He was issued a court summons in that case. That reminds me of the time that I decided to have a fake ID, a kind of hiding in plain sight as it were. “Okay sir, your total is $118.30. How would you like to pay for this?” “Credit.” “Okay…and may I see your ID Mister…Batman?” “DOCTOR Batman…and yes, here you go.” Then a quick smoke bomb later & I was off to rooftops. Take that, McLovin.

Online Dating: Not Just for Nerds? - If you spent Valentine's Day looking for love online then you are among the one in three Internet users who regard the web as a good place to find a relationship, according to a new study. The BBC World Service global poll showed that 30% of web users regard the Internet as a good place to find a boyfriend or girlfriend. The poll, conducted among nearly 11,000 Internet users across 19 countries, revealed that India and Pakistan are among the countries with the greatest numbers of enthusiasts for Internet introductions. 59% of Indians and 60% of Pakistanis who use the Internet regard it as a good place to find a partner. "This shows what a major role the Internet now plays in the lives of millions of people around the world," GlobeScan Research Director Sam Mountford said in a statement. "For many, and particularly in the developing world, it's not just somewhere to work, shop, or communicate with friends, but a credible way of finding a partner in life." Other countries where high proportions of Internet users feel the same way include Ghana (47% and yes, they have the internet there) and the Philippines (42%). By contrast, fewer Americans (21%), South Koreans (16%), British (28%), and French (27%) think the idea of finding a partner online a good one. However, the results also suggest that those with a higher level of education are less likely to regard the Internet as a good place for romance (28% of those with a university education felt it was, compared to 36% of those who had not completed high school). The results are drawn from a larger survey of public attitudes toward the Internet, to be released on March 8th. So what do you think? What’s that? Oh you wanna know what I think first? Okay then.

As I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned before, I’ve tried the online dating thing before with eHarmony. It didn’t turn out well. What happened is I would be matched up with a lot of single moms, and we’d chat & do answer the questions about each other that the other person wanted to know (you know I love answering questions about my favorite subject) and everything would go smoothly…until my picture was released. Then it would cool off completely. Yeah, great for the self-esteem, let me tell ya. It wasn’t my best picture…but it was a few years ago & I wasn’t blogging or anything, so I was even less web-savvy than I am now. I knew I should’ve just put a picture of Ryan Reynolds or something. However, I’ve been thinking recently…and maybe I should give it another chance. I don’t know. Obviously my method of meeting women currently is working with them or helping them play Bingo on a Saturday night…but either way, it’s been unsuccessful for the most part. Also, I live in a pretty small town of about 10,000 or so…and I guess I could meet ladies on the slopes…but nobody goes to the slopes alone to pick up chicks and/or get picked up on by dudes. That’s just creepy. So I’m to the point where it’s…how else am I going to meet these single women? Maybe one of these next free weekends with eHarmony or match.com or whatever, I’ll see what’s out there. Then again, if any of you out there have any suggestions, I’m all ears. And yes, Mad Scientist, I’ve tried the coffee shop thing here too. Twas a sausage fest except for the baristas who were both happily married. Anyway, it could be a good idea…and some of these websites are reputable…but I’ve learned early on to never trust anything on the internet at face value. That sum’bich from the Ivory Coast taught me that one. Prince with a liquidity problem, my left nut. I think it could be a good place though. I mean…that’s where people are communicating most of the time. Whether it’s Facebook, email, twitter, instant messaging, dating sites, chatrooms, blogs, all that and more, people are on the web…and some of them are pretty lonely when they’re offline…and it really shouldn’t be that way. We all have so much Love to give…but we don’t want to get burned…and who’s to say that the sassy 23-year old that likes the same nerdy things you do isn’t just a 45-year old sexual predator who found the picture in a high school yearbook? There are creeps out there…but there are some great people out there too. It’s all a risk…but then again, nothing risked, nothing gained. Anyway, what do you think about the possibility of meeting your future Love online? I’ll keep you posted on my future “dating” life but until then…

Sexbot Update - A new remote-controlled robot (not pictured) available this fall will likely be the first of many programmable toys aimed at children. Called the Spy Video TRAKR (pronounced "Tracker" & not a child of Sarah Palin), the camera-equipped robot can digitally transmit color, video, audio and data to a hand-held controller. A USB connection will also let kids hook up their bot to a computer and create, download and share custom software applications, or "apps." "They'll come up with things that toy companies would never think of," said Daniel Grossman, CEO of Wild Planet Entertainment, the toy's developer. "We believe that the most-downloaded apps will be the ones created by kids. App-sharing in toys will be fueled by kids. It's empowering when other people are interested in something you create. Kids will take pride when programs they designed are downloaded by other kids." All TRAKR apps will be free, Grossman added. The TRAKR will cost $120 and is aimed at kids ages 8 and up. It will come with three apps pre-installed, including a night-vision app that lets kids see everything in the bot's path even in complete darkness (now you see where this is starting to be a sexbot update). A collection of free apps will also be available for download when the toy hits retail shelves in October. Kids can maneuver the bot using a hand-held controller, viewing its progress and navigating through a 1.8-inch screen. Because TRAKR is a treaded vehicle, users steer it like a bulldozer, pressing the right controller to turn left and vice versa. The toy has an operating range of between 100 and 150 feet, depending on conditions, 8 megabytes of RAM, 2 megabytes of flash memory for apps, and an SD card slot for storing audio and video clips. For anyone remotely in touch with their inner child, it won't take much imagination to see how Spy Video TRAKR's ability to run custom apps, travel in the dark, transmit and store still and video images and record and play sounds gives it enormous potential for kid-pleasing mischief (or as we call it, adult perversion). An online application modulator will enable beginners to tweak existing apps as they start learning how to write code for the TRAKR in the C++ programming language. Free software that will give kids all the tools they need to begin writing and sharing their own programs will be available at SpyTRAKR.com. "We're teaching kids how to write their own applications and program their toys to do exactly what they want them to do," told TechNewsDaily. Toymakers have a long history of incorporating new technologies into their products, said Jon-Paul Dyson, director of the National Center for the History of Electronic Games at Strong National Museum of Play in Rochester, N.Y (how’s that for a title?). "Thomas Edison created a talking doll more than a hundred years ago. What has changed is the pace with which technologies are being incorporated into toys." Ever since the 1970s, toy manufacturers have increasingly included digital components in their products, Dyson said. Milton Bradley became one of the companies to computerize toys when it introduced a programmable electric tank called Big Trak over 30 years ago. As computer chips have become faster, more powerful, and cheaper, toy makers have continued to find new and creative ways to include digital components in their products, Dyson said. "Toys always reflect the culture that creates them. So it's not surprising that toys have more and more high-tech features. We're also seeing an increasing integration of toys with online experiences as kids spend more and more time in virtual spaces." Hmm, kinda leads back into the last story a bit…you know when they turn eighteen, of course. So there you go, kids will be able to program robots to do their bidding…and basically they’re mini spies…with night vision…and audio/visual recording capabilities. So the new sexbot sextape industry will go through the roof but more importantly, it’s a great way to test the whole downloadable program capabilities for their other “toys” that were on display at the Adult Entertainment Expo in Vegas last month. And don’t think for a minute that every time you download a new application that it won’t check that RAM for any “interesting” footage. Parents, keep an eye out. You never know when TRAKR may be standing in the doorway watching you guys hug like crazy rabbits.

Anyway, with that image of your parents in Paris Hilton night vision, I’m going to stop talking. I hope that you’re all having a wonderful day and workweek. Oh guess what, my mom may be coming to visit in a few weeks. Why? Because she loves me…and wants to see me some time in the next six months. See, during my soon-to-be legendary road trip in two months, we won’t be meeting up because…as luck would have it, she’ll be in Asia on a cruise (without me) so we won’t see each other then…and it’ll probably be after the 4th of July when she can get vacation again with her job because of the cruise. So yeah, my mama may be coming to check out her boy’s new life…and I think she’ll be impressed with the decision. She usually is. I just hope it’s not a time when there’s a blizzard so I can show her how awesome this place is. We’ll see. In the meantime, have a great day everybody!!! One Love.

1 comment:

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