Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
So last night after work, didn't do much except watch a movie that makes me want to see another movie even more. Allow me to explain. The movie that I watched was "Taken" starring Liam Neeson. Now, you've all seen the preview...with the guy from "Love Actually" threatening kidnappers over the phone thousands of miles away...and you think, "I don't know. That guy's like...fifty something, right? Maybe he's just bluffing and hoping they're amateurs." It's a movie. Of course he's not bluffing. Anyway, a retired operative for the American government is trying to establish a relationship with his 17-year old daughter...but she's invited on a trip to Paris by one of her friends...and they get kidnapped...and he's going to get her. This movie is bad-ass. It's intense, fast, brutal...and basically you just think Liam's a bad-ass the whole time. I would highly recommend it if you're into those kind of action flicks. Now, what movie does this make me want to watch more? Lincoln (when/if that ever comes to be). What's "Lincoln"? I've mentioned it a few times...but to refresh your memory, it's about the life of Abraham Lincoln...and Liam plays the title character...and former President Harrison Ford plays bigoted VP Andrew Johnson...and Spielberg's directing it. Now, think of this...there HAS to be an obligatory scene where Lincoln & Johnson (aka Indiana Jones) have a disagreement, which leads to fisticuffs. So yeah, can't wait for it now. Go check this movie out too...again, if you're into action flicks. It's written by Luc Besson and produced by his company...so you know two things have to be true. It's full of action...and it mostly takes place in Paris. Honestly, I'm surprised the final pyramid scene in "Fifth Element" didn't take place at the base of the Eiffel Tower...but that was probably a compromise from the original script. Now for the news...
Dream Job? - Scientists are looking for women willing to eat chocolate every day for a year -- all in the name of medical science. Researchers at the University of East Anglia and a hospital in Norwich, eastern England are trying to find out whether chocolate can cut the risk of heart disease and need 40 women to step forward and help. Most of the women will have to (as in be forced to) eat two bars of "super-strength chocolate specially formulated by Belgian chocolatiers" daily for one year and undergo several tests to measure how healthy their hearts are. The others will have to eat regular chocolate as a placebo. One possible catch, for chocolate fans spotting an opportunity: volunteers for the research should be menopausal but aged under 75 and have type two diabetes. Damn, that's a curveball. Study coordinator Peter Curtis said: "A successful outcome could be the first step in developing new ways to improve the lives of people at increased risk of heart disease." So there you go. Any of you menopausal mamas out there who are looking to score some free chocolate...and live in the United Kingdom, here's an opportunity for you...and in the name of science. How can you go wrong? I'm curious about this super-strength chocolate too. What makes it super-strength? Super delicious? Super chocolaty? Can I bend the fabric of time? X-ray vision? Super noxious gas? Details.
Bikini Banditos - Police in Mississippi say a woman was carjacked by a bikini-clad suspect, who they say later tried to rob an RV dealership. Southaven Police Chief Tom Long said the 24-year-old suspect approached another woman in her driveway and demanded the car on Thursday. The woman gave up the car without a fight, asking only for time to remove her young children from inside. Long said the suspect then drove the car to the business, where she told employees she had a gun and demanded money. The employees did not believe the claim and restrained her until officers arrived. Police said the suspect appeared to be under the influence of drugs or alcohol. She was charged with carjacking and assault. Now, it may be a different situation if say...a gentleman like myself were carjacked by a bikini-clad woman (obviously strapped). "Dr Love, can you describe the carjacker for us?" "With pleasure. She was wearing this leopard print number, right? Two-piece, very flattering to the ample cleavage, milky, she had this little birthmark on the left breast. Wait...yeah, her left breast, that's right. Was actually hoping it was chocolate and she needs some help with it...but then she pulled the gun on me." "That's...mildly helpful. Do you recall her eye color? Hair color? Approximate height?" "Her what-now? Eyes? Ugh...something like ugh...well, she had a curvy build, very ugh...like Jane Russell. Remember her? Or kind of a Kim Novak quality to her." "Blonde or brunette?" "She also had a gun. Did I mention that part? I think it was a 9mm. Basic, simple, effective." "Sir, describe her face." Okay, you caught me. I hadn't worked my way up that far. I was sitting in my car, there's these set of double D's thrown in my window followed by a nickel-plated nine, I'm frightened & horny at the same time, my brain shuts down, I remember showing her how to drive a stick & teaching her about the tricky clutch, and then she's off with my car." "Wait, what? You taught her how to drive your car." "I PANICKED, OKAY??? Look, I gave her my number too. Maybe she'll call, you guys can tap the phone, we can triangulate her position or whatever..." "Sir, we just got a call...and she tried to jack an RV dealership." "Oh! Really? Cool, so...should I go identify her or something? How's my car? Did she ask for me?"
Librarians are HOT!!! - So much for the stereotype. Texas librarians are baring their skin and revealing their tattoos — all to raise disaster relief money to help damaged libraries. Photos of the librarians and their body art appear in a new calendar sold by the Texas Library Association. Librarian Shawne Miksa says it's a way to get people to notice library issues. As the model for November 2010, she shows off Chinese characters on her lower back that mean "wisdom" and "desire." The "Tattooed Ladies of TLA" 18-month calendar is a follow-up to the successful "Men of Texas Libraries" calendar, which raised $9,000 to help libraries damaged by hurricanes Katrina and Rita. The TLA says libraries thrive on promoting diversity and free expression and the calendar exhibits that spirit...and a little body art never hurt nobody...after the fact. Not as hot as I was expecting when I heard about a Texas Librarians Calendar...but hey, at least it's for a good cause. I remember when I was asked to be a part of the Eden Firefighters Calendar a few years ago. No, I'm not a firefighter...but apparently they didn't have enough guys (being a small town...and frankly, most of them are a little on the "experienced" side). So yeah, you all missed out on that one...but it never came to pass. Probably a good thing too...then I would've been thrown into the life of modeling, acting, dancing...and basically become a rich douche all based on my outward appearance. Yeah, that would've sucked. Sigh... So yeah, librarians are hot...and I think I'm going to use some of my connections to set up one for Utah libraries...but this will be sexier than tattoos (and better sellers in this state). Think of it this way...librarians reading their favorite books...on their bedspreads...or in their jammies at the breakfast nook. Oh yeah, it'll work splendidly. I'll keep ya posted...and it'll be for a cause, like literacy...or adult education...or at least adult entertainment. Is there any greater cause?
Car Chase in Hometown - Police in Plain City, Utah (GO FREMONT SILVERWOLVES!!!) say a 7-year-old boy led officers on a car chase in an effort to avoid going to church. Dispatchers received reports of a child driving recklessly on Sunday morning. Weber County Sheriff's Capt. Klint Anderson says one witness said the boy drove through a stop sign. Anderson says two deputies caught up with the boy and tried unsuccessfully to stop the Dodge Intrepid in an area about 45 miles north of Salt Lake City. The car reached 40 mph before the boy stopped in a driveway and ran inside a home. Anderson says when the boy's father later confronted him, the boy said he didn't want to go to church. The boy is too young to prosecute and no citations were issued, although police did urge the father to make his car keys more inaccessible to children. The sad thing is...I probably know the father from high school...and that makes this all the more hilarious. That's why I have to mention it.
Also, Filly got a new dog today down in New Orleans...and it was a dog left on her doorstep...not unlike Moses. It's a boxer / pitbull mix...so I suggested to her a few names. Number one was Rocky...of course in honor of the great underdog boxers Rocky Balboa AND Marciano. However, I think she was more happy with my other...and surprisingly clever choice...which was Slobber Lang, which was a tribute to Mister T's character Clobber Lang in Rocky III...and has a more badass quality to it...and the Slobber is just a cute touch that the ladies love. I know. I have a gift for naming pets and children. No need to thank me, just pay it forward. Here's a picture...
Anyway, that'll do it for today. It's been a pleasure as always, imagining being carjacked by a swimsuit model, making a calendar of kinky librarians, eating chocolate for a year and so much more. Thank you for sharing this experience with me...and have a great day everybody!!!
So last night after work, didn't do much except watch a movie that makes me want to see another movie even more. Allow me to explain. The movie that I watched was "Taken" starring Liam Neeson. Now, you've all seen the preview...with the guy from "Love Actually" threatening kidnappers over the phone thousands of miles away...and you think, "I don't know. That guy's like...fifty something, right? Maybe he's just bluffing and hoping they're amateurs." It's a movie. Of course he's not bluffing. Anyway, a retired operative for the American government is trying to establish a relationship with his 17-year old daughter...but she's invited on a trip to Paris by one of her friends...and they get kidnapped...and he's going to get her. This movie is bad-ass. It's intense, fast, brutal...and basically you just think Liam's a bad-ass the whole time. I would highly recommend it if you're into those kind of action flicks. Now, what movie does this make me want to watch more? Lincoln (when/if that ever comes to be). What's "Lincoln"? I've mentioned it a few times...but to refresh your memory, it's about the life of Abraham Lincoln...and Liam plays the title character...and former President Harrison Ford plays bigoted VP Andrew Johnson...and Spielberg's directing it. Now, think of this...there HAS to be an obligatory scene where Lincoln & Johnson (aka Indiana Jones) have a disagreement, which leads to fisticuffs. So yeah, can't wait for it now. Go check this movie out too...again, if you're into action flicks. It's written by Luc Besson and produced by his company...so you know two things have to be true. It's full of action...and it mostly takes place in Paris. Honestly, I'm surprised the final pyramid scene in "Fifth Element" didn't take place at the base of the Eiffel Tower...but that was probably a compromise from the original script. Now for the news...
Dream Job? - Scientists are looking for women willing to eat chocolate every day for a year -- all in the name of medical science. Researchers at the University of East Anglia and a hospital in Norwich, eastern England are trying to find out whether chocolate can cut the risk of heart disease and need 40 women to step forward and help. Most of the women will have to (as in be forced to) eat two bars of "super-strength chocolate specially formulated by Belgian chocolatiers" daily for one year and undergo several tests to measure how healthy their hearts are. The others will have to eat regular chocolate as a placebo. One possible catch, for chocolate fans spotting an opportunity: volunteers for the research should be menopausal but aged under 75 and have type two diabetes. Damn, that's a curveball. Study coordinator Peter Curtis said: "A successful outcome could be the first step in developing new ways to improve the lives of people at increased risk of heart disease." So there you go. Any of you menopausal mamas out there who are looking to score some free chocolate...and live in the United Kingdom, here's an opportunity for you...and in the name of science. How can you go wrong? I'm curious about this super-strength chocolate too. What makes it super-strength? Super delicious? Super chocolaty? Can I bend the fabric of time? X-ray vision? Super noxious gas? Details.
Bikini Banditos - Police in Mississippi say a woman was carjacked by a bikini-clad suspect, who they say later tried to rob an RV dealership. Southaven Police Chief Tom Long said the 24-year-old suspect approached another woman in her driveway and demanded the car on Thursday. The woman gave up the car without a fight, asking only for time to remove her young children from inside. Long said the suspect then drove the car to the business, where she told employees she had a gun and demanded money. The employees did not believe the claim and restrained her until officers arrived. Police said the suspect appeared to be under the influence of drugs or alcohol. She was charged with carjacking and assault. Now, it may be a different situation if say...a gentleman like myself were carjacked by a bikini-clad woman (obviously strapped). "Dr Love, can you describe the carjacker for us?" "With pleasure. She was wearing this leopard print number, right? Two-piece, very flattering to the ample cleavage, milky, she had this little birthmark on the left breast. Wait...yeah, her left breast, that's right. Was actually hoping it was chocolate and she needs some help with it...but then she pulled the gun on me." "That's...mildly helpful. Do you recall her eye color? Hair color? Approximate height?" "Her what-now? Eyes? Ugh...something like ugh...well, she had a curvy build, very ugh...like Jane Russell. Remember her? Or kind of a Kim Novak quality to her." "Blonde or brunette?" "She also had a gun. Did I mention that part? I think it was a 9mm. Basic, simple, effective." "Sir, describe her face." Okay, you caught me. I hadn't worked my way up that far. I was sitting in my car, there's these set of double D's thrown in my window followed by a nickel-plated nine, I'm frightened & horny at the same time, my brain shuts down, I remember showing her how to drive a stick & teaching her about the tricky clutch, and then she's off with my car." "Wait, what? You taught her how to drive your car." "I PANICKED, OKAY??? Look, I gave her my number too. Maybe she'll call, you guys can tap the phone, we can triangulate her position or whatever..." "Sir, we just got a call...and she tried to jack an RV dealership." "Oh! Really? Cool, so...should I go identify her or something? How's my car? Did she ask for me?"
Librarians are HOT!!! - So much for the stereotype. Texas librarians are baring their skin and revealing their tattoos — all to raise disaster relief money to help damaged libraries. Photos of the librarians and their body art appear in a new calendar sold by the Texas Library Association. Librarian Shawne Miksa says it's a way to get people to notice library issues. As the model for November 2010, she shows off Chinese characters on her lower back that mean "wisdom" and "desire." The "Tattooed Ladies of TLA" 18-month calendar is a follow-up to the successful "Men of Texas Libraries" calendar, which raised $9,000 to help libraries damaged by hurricanes Katrina and Rita. The TLA says libraries thrive on promoting diversity and free expression and the calendar exhibits that spirit...and a little body art never hurt nobody...after the fact. Not as hot as I was expecting when I heard about a Texas Librarians Calendar...but hey, at least it's for a good cause. I remember when I was asked to be a part of the Eden Firefighters Calendar a few years ago. No, I'm not a firefighter...but apparently they didn't have enough guys (being a small town...and frankly, most of them are a little on the "experienced" side). So yeah, you all missed out on that one...but it never came to pass. Probably a good thing too...then I would've been thrown into the life of modeling, acting, dancing...and basically become a rich douche all based on my outward appearance. Yeah, that would've sucked. Sigh... So yeah, librarians are hot...and I think I'm going to use some of my connections to set up one for Utah libraries...but this will be sexier than tattoos (and better sellers in this state). Think of it this way...librarians reading their favorite books...on their bedspreads...or in their jammies at the breakfast nook. Oh yeah, it'll work splendidly. I'll keep ya posted...and it'll be for a cause, like literacy...or adult education...or at least adult entertainment. Is there any greater cause?Car Chase in Hometown - Police in Plain City, Utah (GO FREMONT SILVERWOLVES!!!) say a 7-year-old boy led officers on a car chase in an effort to avoid going to church. Dispatchers received reports of a child driving recklessly on Sunday morning. Weber County Sheriff's Capt. Klint Anderson says one witness said the boy drove through a stop sign. Anderson says two deputies caught up with the boy and tried unsuccessfully to stop the Dodge Intrepid in an area about 45 miles north of Salt Lake City. The car reached 40 mph before the boy stopped in a driveway and ran inside a home. Anderson says when the boy's father later confronted him, the boy said he didn't want to go to church. The boy is too young to prosecute and no citations were issued, although police did urge the father to make his car keys more inaccessible to children. The sad thing is...I probably know the father from high school...and that makes this all the more hilarious. That's why I have to mention it.
Also, Filly got a new dog today down in New Orleans...and it was a dog left on her doorstep...not unlike Moses. It's a boxer / pitbull mix...so I suggested to her a few names. Number one was Rocky...of course in honor of the great underdog boxers Rocky Balboa AND Marciano. However, I think she was more happy with my other...and surprisingly clever choice...which was Slobber Lang, which was a tribute to Mister T's character Clobber Lang in Rocky III...and has a more badass quality to it...and the Slobber is just a cute touch that the ladies love. I know. I have a gift for naming pets and children. No need to thank me, just pay it forward. Here's a picture...Anyway, that'll do it for today. It's been a pleasure as always, imagining being carjacked by a swimsuit model, making a calendar of kinky librarians, eating chocolate for a year and so much more. Thank you for sharing this experience with me...and have a great day everybody!!!
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