Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
So yeah, looked into the Lake Tahoe thing a bit...and bounced the idea off a few people...and I like how it's looking. Basically, I expect a poor man's Vegas in the mountains with a lake thrown in. Am I setting the expectations too high? I mean...it's not the entertainment capital of the world...but they do have an annual Shakespearean Festival. Also, it's like a 7-8 hour drive across a barren wasteland to get back home to Slick City for the holidays...just like Denver was. Southwest also flies there...though most flights have to go through Vegas (tear...) before anywhere else. I've even found some apartments near where I'll be working that are somewhat affordable...but then again, you can't trust everything you read on the internet. Definitely going to have to take a road trip out there to check it out. Anybody wanna go with me? So yeah, here are the movies I saw over the weekend.
First up was the "Speed Racer" movie from the Wachowski Brothers, who brought you the Matrix trilogy & V for Vendetta. This is the movie adaptation of the 60's anime classic Speed Racer about...well, racing. Speed Racer (Emile Hirsch) is the new kid on the circuit and winning some races with the help of his parents (John Goodman & Susan Sarandon), his girlfriend Trixie (Christina Ricci) and his little brother & a monkey. Now, big corporate racing wants to sponsor him...but he doesn't trust them...as well he shouldn't. Now he's teaming up with the mysterious Racer X (Matthew Fox) to bring them down and make racing a legitimate sport again. Basically, I wouldn't recommend this movie if you susceptible to seizures as it's a LOT of flashing lights and motion really quick...for a little over two hours. Other than that, it's pretty good and I'd say check it out if you're a fan of racing movies...or the old cartoon series. Some of the visuals were pretty cool...but there's really no limit when you're using a green screen.
Next was a French movie called "District B13" brought to you by Luc Besson (the guy behind La Femme Nikita, Leon the Professional and of course...the Fifth Element). This is just a bad ass action movie with a lot of that parkour stuff. You know, the guys running through the city doing backflips off parking structures and sliding through fences and jumping over cars and what-not. Think Tony Jaa & Jackie Chan type stuff...only you know, old school Jackie Chan...not the Karate Kid remake Jackie Chan. Oh yeah, the story...ugh well, this movie was made in 2004...so the story is that it's 2010 in Paris and some of the worst neighborhoods have been fenced off from the rest into this districts. The worst of which is District B13. Well, a nuclear warhead has been stolen...and it's in B13...so they send in a supercop, teamed up with a thug from that area who was wrongly imprisoned and is trying to save his little sister (hottie French girl of course...and the ONLY girl in the entire movie). Yeah, it's a pretty sweet movie. I thoroughly enjoyed it because I'm a HUGE fan of martial arts movies...and this definitely had that kind of feel...but with a French accent. I'd highly recommend it if you're into such movies as well.
Last for the weekend was "Sling Blade" which was the movie that catapulted Billy Bob Thornton to fame...as well it should because he wrote, directed, starred and probably catered it. Basically it's the story of a man name Karl (Thornton) who was put into a sanitarium when he was a young boy because he killed his mom & some douche (watch the movie for details) and after like thirty years, they let him go. Obviously he's never really lived in the outside world...and really doesn't have any kind of education or social graces...but he does have a knack for fixing small engines, so the warden sets him up with a job and a place to live. Well, Karl meets a young boy and they become friends...and he introduced him to his mom, her boss (John Ritter) and her abusive boyfriend (Dwight Yoakum). They get closer and closer...and the boy & his mom invite to live in their garage...but the boyfriend is basically a prick to anyone & everyone...and the story goes from there. I'd say check it out if you're into dramas. It kind of felt like watching Forrest Gump but with a creepier Tom Hanks...and there was always this thought in my head of "This guy f**ked Angelina...a lot. God damn it, I need to become an actor." It's a great flick...but I'll warn ya...it's a little slow at parts and is about two and a half hours. Still, I highly recommend it. It won a bunch of Academy Awards. There's even a little cameo by Robert Duvall.
Monday at work, I was paid to watch the Richard Donner classic from my childhood entitled "The Goonies" with a bunch of future stars like Corey Feldman, Sean Astin, Josh Brolin, and Joey Pants. Now, let's forget for a moment that I was paid handsomely to watch it...because that's irrelevant (just really cool) but I hadn't seen the movie in many years...and I had completely forgotten how many times they said "sh*t" back when you could say *t repeatedly in a PG movie. Now, even when watching Speed Racer, I thought it was odd that it was rated PG yet there was explosions, threats of violence...and yes, Speed said "sh*t" but it was in context, I guess. Growing up, Back to the Future & the Goonies were obviously PG...but they have some pretty filthy mouths. It seems we're getting more & more conservative with our kids movies...and I don't like it. For God's sake, the Goonies were going after the treasure of a guy named One-Eyed Willy. You tell me there was not a HUGE laugh in the writer's meeting when they read that aloud. "Well, it was either that or Captain Jack Meoff...so we went with One-Eyed Willy." Oh...and I'm also assuming that every single person in the history of the world has seen this movie at least a dozen times...because if you haven't, you should...or you're probably from France or lived in a cave or something. Of course it gets my highest recommendation as a classic...even though there's an incredible number of loopholes in the plot...but hey, it's a kids flick...and this is the news...
Barbie Q Update - Okay, so remember a few weeks ago when I told you about the barbecue pit with the scantily clad mannequin in Ohio whose livelihood was threatened because some prudish people thought of it as distracting to passing motorists? No, well here's the link. Now, BarBe Q, the shapely mannequin outside KT's Barbecue restaurant in Reading, Ohio, can continue wearing her revealing halter top and short shorts. On May 13th, the city's Design Review Board agreed to let BarBe Q remain on display outside as long as she dressed more modestly...but restaurant owner Kenny Tessel appealed, and Monday night Reading's Board of Zoning Appeals agreed with him 3-2. He had told the design review board that the advertising gimmick had increased his business by 40%. "I am very happy," Tessel told The Cincinnati Enquirer. "Now, we can get back to business." Can't wait to...never visit Reading, Ohio...but hey, good for you, Mr Tessel. Keep up the great work of fighting the Man.
German Sex Academy - Please, no poop jokes. Wannabe Latin lovers can improve their technique by playing with the erogenous zones of naked mannequins (and not be assaulted by mall security guards again) at a new interactive exhibition that has now opened in Berlin. The "Amora sex academy" that opened in Berlin on Thursday welcomes visitors with the wry slogan, "Finally -- an exhibition for those who always have to touch everything." More than 50 interactive displays guide visitors through the intimate areas of the male and female bodies, offering helpful tips on everything from striptease to oral sex and how to achieve a perfect orgasm (hmm...). "A lot of couples come in here together to learn something," said Uta Barkow, the manager of the Beate Uhse sex chain which is hosting the academy. "It's been very well received so far. A lot of exhibits have that 'aha' effect on a lot of people." The show features several life-sized plastic models, naked and in various positions. One female mannequin light ups when touched in the right spot. A voice shrieks "That's it!" when the visitor manages to put his finger on the elusive G-spot. Next to it is what the museum called its "Spank-o-meter." It measures the level of pleasure a mannequin receives when spanked with a leather whip (yowza...this is even better than a dinosaur museum). "So far we've had just as many women in here as men. Women coming in tend to have fewer inhibitions while the men tend to be a bit more embarrassed." Just cautious...like it's a trap, I'm sure. The museum also shows film clips of various sexual positions, including the "Italian chandelier" that the viewer learns can burn up to 920 calories per hour (or about 15 calories for you minutemen out there). Founded by Frenchman Johan Rizki, the sex academy opened in London earlier this year and is also due to come to Barcelona (probably next to the Museu d'Erotica on Las Ramblas). I'll keep you posted for when this place hits Vegas, Slick City...or maybe Tahoe...but it may be a while. Apparently anything within 500 miles of Utah tends to be extremely prudish. Otherwise, I may have to visit Berlin to get my culture on...and you know, check out ALL the museums there. It's the proper thing to do, right? Besides, I should practice my German a lot more than I have for the past...decade or so. I wonder if I could even understand directions anymore.
Fortune Cookie of the Day - N/A - I know Tuesday is Panda Express Day...but alas, I showed up too late...and as the Fates would have it, they were OUT of fortune cookies. However, I was chatting with Lilie last night...and it brought about a story from my time in China a few years back...that I thought I would share with you...and it has a great fortune cookie message. Quite possibly the greatest of all time. Ready, here it goes. Well, about four years ago, I was in China...and we met this great guy who spoke fantastic English in the People's Square in Shanghai, so we invited him back to the University (study abroad program) to hang out for a while. Well, we got around to playing some cards (Go Fish, I believe) and the game was taking a long time...and we later found that it was because everybody was trying to save the same cards...but alas, this gentleman was hilarious the whole time and like I said, just a great dude. Well, he asked the person to his side, "Do you have any hearts?" "Go fish." Then he replied with a sigh...and "Man cannot win with no heart" and I kid you not, I laughed for about ten minutes straight on that one. Maybe it's just me...or maybe you just had to be there...but yeah, it was awesome.
Well, I believe that I've bored you enough for one day. Join us tomorrow when...who knows? Three days until Vegas baby!!! Can't wait. Have a great day everybody!!!
So yeah, looked into the Lake Tahoe thing a bit...and bounced the idea off a few people...and I like how it's looking. Basically, I expect a poor man's Vegas in the mountains with a lake thrown in. Am I setting the expectations too high? I mean...it's not the entertainment capital of the world...but they do have an annual Shakespearean Festival. Also, it's like a 7-8 hour drive across a barren wasteland to get back home to Slick City for the holidays...just like Denver was. Southwest also flies there...though most flights have to go through Vegas (tear...) before anywhere else. I've even found some apartments near where I'll be working that are somewhat affordable...but then again, you can't trust everything you read on the internet. Definitely going to have to take a road trip out there to check it out. Anybody wanna go with me? So yeah, here are the movies I saw over the weekend.
First up was the "Speed Racer" movie from the Wachowski Brothers, who brought you the Matrix trilogy & V for Vendetta. This is the movie adaptation of the 60's anime classic Speed Racer about...well, racing. Speed Racer (Emile Hirsch) is the new kid on the circuit and winning some races with the help of his parents (John Goodman & Susan Sarandon), his girlfriend Trixie (Christina Ricci) and his little brother & a monkey. Now, big corporate racing wants to sponsor him...but he doesn't trust them...as well he shouldn't. Now he's teaming up with the mysterious Racer X (Matthew Fox) to bring them down and make racing a legitimate sport again. Basically, I wouldn't recommend this movie if you susceptible to seizures as it's a LOT of flashing lights and motion really quick...for a little over two hours. Other than that, it's pretty good and I'd say check it out if you're a fan of racing movies...or the old cartoon series. Some of the visuals were pretty cool...but there's really no limit when you're using a green screen.
Next was a French movie called "District B13" brought to you by Luc Besson (the guy behind La Femme Nikita, Leon the Professional and of course...the Fifth Element). This is just a bad ass action movie with a lot of that parkour stuff. You know, the guys running through the city doing backflips off parking structures and sliding through fences and jumping over cars and what-not. Think Tony Jaa & Jackie Chan type stuff...only you know, old school Jackie Chan...not the Karate Kid remake Jackie Chan. Oh yeah, the story...ugh well, this movie was made in 2004...so the story is that it's 2010 in Paris and some of the worst neighborhoods have been fenced off from the rest into this districts. The worst of which is District B13. Well, a nuclear warhead has been stolen...and it's in B13...so they send in a supercop, teamed up with a thug from that area who was wrongly imprisoned and is trying to save his little sister (hottie French girl of course...and the ONLY girl in the entire movie). Yeah, it's a pretty sweet movie. I thoroughly enjoyed it because I'm a HUGE fan of martial arts movies...and this definitely had that kind of feel...but with a French accent. I'd highly recommend it if you're into such movies as well.
Last for the weekend was "Sling Blade" which was the movie that catapulted Billy Bob Thornton to fame...as well it should because he wrote, directed, starred and probably catered it. Basically it's the story of a man name Karl (Thornton) who was put into a sanitarium when he was a young boy because he killed his mom & some douche (watch the movie for details) and after like thirty years, they let him go. Obviously he's never really lived in the outside world...and really doesn't have any kind of education or social graces...but he does have a knack for fixing small engines, so the warden sets him up with a job and a place to live. Well, Karl meets a young boy and they become friends...and he introduced him to his mom, her boss (John Ritter) and her abusive boyfriend (Dwight Yoakum). They get closer and closer...and the boy & his mom invite to live in their garage...but the boyfriend is basically a prick to anyone & everyone...and the story goes from there. I'd say check it out if you're into dramas. It kind of felt like watching Forrest Gump but with a creepier Tom Hanks...and there was always this thought in my head of "This guy f**ked Angelina...a lot. God damn it, I need to become an actor." It's a great flick...but I'll warn ya...it's a little slow at parts and is about two and a half hours. Still, I highly recommend it. It won a bunch of Academy Awards. There's even a little cameo by Robert Duvall.
Monday at work, I was paid to watch the Richard Donner classic from my childhood entitled "The Goonies" with a bunch of future stars like Corey Feldman, Sean Astin, Josh Brolin, and Joey Pants. Now, let's forget for a moment that I was paid handsomely to watch it...because that's irrelevant (just really cool) but I hadn't seen the movie in many years...and I had completely forgotten how many times they said "sh*t" back when you could say *t repeatedly in a PG movie. Now, even when watching Speed Racer, I thought it was odd that it was rated PG yet there was explosions, threats of violence...and yes, Speed said "sh*t" but it was in context, I guess. Growing up, Back to the Future & the Goonies were obviously PG...but they have some pretty filthy mouths. It seems we're getting more & more conservative with our kids movies...and I don't like it. For God's sake, the Goonies were going after the treasure of a guy named One-Eyed Willy. You tell me there was not a HUGE laugh in the writer's meeting when they read that aloud. "Well, it was either that or Captain Jack Meoff...so we went with One-Eyed Willy." Oh...and I'm also assuming that every single person in the history of the world has seen this movie at least a dozen times...because if you haven't, you should...or you're probably from France or lived in a cave or something. Of course it gets my highest recommendation as a classic...even though there's an incredible number of loopholes in the plot...but hey, it's a kids flick...and this is the news...
Barbie Q Update - Okay, so remember a few weeks ago when I told you about the barbecue pit with the scantily clad mannequin in Ohio whose livelihood was threatened because some prudish people thought of it as distracting to passing motorists? No, well here's the link. Now, BarBe Q, the shapely mannequin outside KT's Barbecue restaurant in Reading, Ohio, can continue wearing her revealing halter top and short shorts. On May 13th, the city's Design Review Board agreed to let BarBe Q remain on display outside as long as she dressed more modestly...but restaurant owner Kenny Tessel appealed, and Monday night Reading's Board of Zoning Appeals agreed with him 3-2. He had told the design review board that the advertising gimmick had increased his business by 40%. "I am very happy," Tessel told The Cincinnati Enquirer. "Now, we can get back to business." Can't wait to...never visit Reading, Ohio...but hey, good for you, Mr Tessel. Keep up the great work of fighting the Man.
German Sex Academy - Please, no poop jokes. Wannabe Latin lovers can improve their technique by playing with the erogenous zones of naked mannequins (and not be assaulted by mall security guards again) at a new interactive exhibition that has now opened in Berlin. The "Amora sex academy" that opened in Berlin on Thursday welcomes visitors with the wry slogan, "Finally -- an exhibition for those who always have to touch everything." More than 50 interactive displays guide visitors through the intimate areas of the male and female bodies, offering helpful tips on everything from striptease to oral sex and how to achieve a perfect orgasm (hmm...). "A lot of couples come in here together to learn something," said Uta Barkow, the manager of the Beate Uhse sex chain which is hosting the academy. "It's been very well received so far. A lot of exhibits have that 'aha' effect on a lot of people." The show features several life-sized plastic models, naked and in various positions. One female mannequin light ups when touched in the right spot. A voice shrieks "That's it!" when the visitor manages to put his finger on the elusive G-spot. Next to it is what the museum called its "Spank-o-meter." It measures the level of pleasure a mannequin receives when spanked with a leather whip (yowza...this is even better than a dinosaur museum). "So far we've had just as many women in here as men. Women coming in tend to have fewer inhibitions while the men tend to be a bit more embarrassed." Just cautious...like it's a trap, I'm sure. The museum also shows film clips of various sexual positions, including the "Italian chandelier" that the viewer learns can burn up to 920 calories per hour (or about 15 calories for you minutemen out there). Founded by Frenchman Johan Rizki, the sex academy opened in London earlier this year and is also due to come to Barcelona (probably next to the Museu d'Erotica on Las Ramblas). I'll keep you posted for when this place hits Vegas, Slick City...or maybe Tahoe...but it may be a while. Apparently anything within 500 miles of Utah tends to be extremely prudish. Otherwise, I may have to visit Berlin to get my culture on...and you know, check out ALL the museums there. It's the proper thing to do, right? Besides, I should practice my German a lot more than I have for the past...decade or so. I wonder if I could even understand directions anymore.Fortune Cookie of the Day - N/A - I know Tuesday is Panda Express Day...but alas, I showed up too late...and as the Fates would have it, they were OUT of fortune cookies. However, I was chatting with Lilie last night...and it brought about a story from my time in China a few years back...that I thought I would share with you...and it has a great fortune cookie message. Quite possibly the greatest of all time. Ready, here it goes. Well, about four years ago, I was in China...and we met this great guy who spoke fantastic English in the People's Square in Shanghai, so we invited him back to the University (study abroad program) to hang out for a while. Well, we got around to playing some cards (Go Fish, I believe) and the game was taking a long time...and we later found that it was because everybody was trying to save the same cards...but alas, this gentleman was hilarious the whole time and like I said, just a great dude. Well, he asked the person to his side, "Do you have any hearts?" "Go fish." Then he replied with a sigh...and "Man cannot win with no heart" and I kid you not, I laughed for about ten minutes straight on that one. Maybe it's just me...or maybe you just had to be there...but yeah, it was awesome.
Well, I believe that I've bored you enough for one day. Join us tomorrow when...who knows? Three days until Vegas baby!!! Can't wait. Have a great day everybody!!!
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