Happy Birthday Bubbles

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Please don't worry. I'm feeling a LOT better than I did yesterday now that I've gotten some food and rest...as basically I had a sandwich over the course of about 42 hours between Saturday night and Monday lunchtime. You know, it happens. You worry so much that you just forget to eat for a while...and it catches up with you...but all better now...and on that note, a happy birthday to Bubbles and Boss Lady K (from Denver) who are both celebrating today...in two different states...that aren't Utah. Sigh...so many of my friends are moving all over the country. As long as they're happy, that's what's important...and if not, they know they can give me a call and I'll cheer them up...and usually come visit.

More big news, the Wingmans will be visiting this weekend...and we're going to hang out, go see my mom up at the Fortress of Solitude, and then go to BB's birthday bash / karaoke jam Saturday night too. It's gonna be a hella fun time...and who knows, you may get to have me sing you a little number and make your panties melt like butter on a muffin. It wouldn't be the first time I've had that effect on someone...ladies. Anyway, yeah, the Wingmans are coming!!! Super excited. They're a little peeved at me for going to Vegas without them this past weekend...but for some reason, they and Bubbles don't get along. That's okay though. They're all good friends of mine...and they don't need to get along to be my friends...as long as they get along with me. We'll have our own little Vegas Vacation soon...like when I go to check out their new house here in the next little while. It'll be awesome...and hopefully won't end up in the ER like this last one...but we are pretty wild together.

Speaking of wild, does anybody else have fond memories of the sketch comedy show "The Upright Citizens Brigade"? I have it now from Netflix and I think it's just about the funniest & craziest sketch show ever...but I've asked a few friends about it...and apparently they've missed it. It was basically the show that made Amy Poehler a big enough star to join SNL and then do those movies like "Hamlet 2" and "Baby's Mama" but yeah, it's hilarious. I would highly suggest checking it out...as I have been since I got back yesterday.

I also forgot to review a movie that I watched Friday called "Two Girls & A Guy" starring Robert Downey jr & Heather Graham. It's probably because it's not a particularly good movie in my opinion...but here we go. The story is about two girls who met each other waiting outside of an apartment complex. See, they're both waiting for their boyfriend...but then realize that it's the same guy (Downey). So they break into his apartment through the fire escape to surprise him...and basically tear him a new a-hole. However, through the magic of fluffery and talking really really fast (like Juno or something), they start to find out new things about each other...and then it just gets really dumb (again, in my opinion). Personally, I wouldn't recommend it...but if you're into those movies like...I don't know, "Chasing Amy", "Reality Bites" and basically a bunch of other movies that I've never seen about dating drama where they just talk and talk and talk and everybody has neuroses and their communication skills are lacking and they don't know how to express their feelings and all that stuff, then yeah, go ahead and check it out. I thought it was based on a play...and was just pointless...and so I bring you the news...

We've ALL Been Here - One giant steel wiener. An opening that just isn't quite big enough. One southern Wisconsin homeowner is probably not in love with the Oscar Mayer wiener...but it doesn't mean they still can't be friends. The famed hot dog's Wienermobile crashed Friday into the deck and garage of a home in Mount Pleasant, about 35 miles south of Milwaukee. Police said the driver was trying to turn the Wienermobile around in the driveway and thought she was moving in reverse (or pulling out...of the driveway). Instead, she went forward and hit the home. It sat in the driveway as if it were stuck in the garage Friday afternoon. No one was home and no one was injured. No citations were immediately issued. Both the home and vehicle suffered moderate damage, which Oscar Mayer spokeswoman Sydney Lindner says insurance will cover. Police hadn't been able to speak to the homeowner as of early Friday evening. Honestly I just wanted to mention this because...well, it's the Wienermobile...and just look at the picture and tell me that isn't absolutely hilarious. If you're thinking this is low brow, then why don't you check out this commercial that Lilie sent me all the way from Germany. She knows what I like.

95 Feces - A man faces criminal mischief charges after he allegedly defecated on a downtown Elgin, Iowa sidewalk and smeared feces on the door of a building. Authorities said the building houses the Valley Community Coalition. Officials believe the man targeted the organization, but they aren't sure why. Matthew J. Sodoma, 21, was arrested early Thursday and was also charged with defecating on a public sidewalk or building. Fayette County Sheriff Marty Fisher said the man's action defies the basic morals of the community and was unacceptable. Authorities said the charges are misdemeanors and are punishable by a fine between $65 and $650 and up to 30 days in jail. "What're you in for?" "Crappin' on the sidewalk...and then smearing it on a door." "Man! That's hardcore." I understand the whole logic of when you gotta go, you gotta go...and I've been known to protest using my own man-made fecal matter as my medium of justice (thank God, DNA analysis is considered too expensive for misdemeanors) but you don't do it in broad daylight. Even if you do, don't get caught brown-handed. These darn young'uns don't know anything about making a statement...in brown marker. So much to learn. Perhaps I shall teach Mr Sodoma. It may help take a few of those community service hours off my record. I mean...what? Community service? That's a ugh...hobby. Yeah. I enjoy picking up trash...and reading to kids. WHAT'S THAT???

Fortune Cookie of the Day - "You Liven Any Conversation...in bed." - Okay, that's just lame. However, on that note, on the Upright Citizens Brigade, they have a nice little skit about the whole "...in bed" fortune cookie thing with messages like "You always have trouble finishing what you start...in bed" or "You're inadequate...in bed" and "People keep asking you if it's in yet...in bed. OH COME ON!!! That one doesn't even make sense unless you add in bed." So yeah, I would again recommend checking out that show if you get the chance.

Anyway, that'll probably do it for today. Very excited for this weekend...and heard that Barbie & Bubbles are doing better today...so that takes a load off my mind. My trips out there seem to end like that a lot. The first half will be awesome fun...and the second half is usually me playing nurse...but it's still a lot of fun...and at least I'm there for whoever's in need of assistance...and I'm usually pretty tired by that point of the trip anyway. What with the late nights & what-have-you. Anyway, glad they're doing well. Have a great day everybody!!!