Friday, February 27, 2009

Dreams & Tattoos

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Still no soda three days into Lent. I know that you're all keeping track. Not much has happened the past few days except work and catching up with household chores and working out at the gym…which I'm sure intrigues you to no end. Oh wait, I did have a pretty odd dream the other night. Perhaps I'll share that with you. Okay, so the setting was at night time…and oddly enough, I was walking alongside a parade float (see Mardi Gras pictures posted yesterday). It was a pretty standard float, no crazy colored dragons or goddesses emitting from the bow…but rather just a basic parade float with a band on it…and the music playing was "Gin & Juice" sung by none other than…Richard Cheese & Lounge Against the Machine. Why was I walking along side it? Apparently I was security…and there were a few other guys in cop uniforms on either side of the float. (Seriously, does he need protection?) Anyway, we're walking along…and I'm singing along…and after a few blocks we're in a part of town with tall brick buildings…but no people except for a few more cops. The police chief (that looks like Danny Glover) says, "Okay guys, spread out a bit. Look sharp. (Points at me) You two post up there and keep a lookout."

So me & this other guy magically appear on a rooftop (about three stories up) looking down at the float and a few cops. I ask my new partner, "What are we doing here? This doesn't feel right." "I know what you mean." All of a sudden, the police chief's voice yells, "IT'S A TRAP!!!" I glance over at my partner and he's pulling his gun out and starting to aim it at me. I knock his arm away and then kick him in the head…and it takes it smooth off his neck. I know. Let's see Bruce Lee do that. I pull my gun out…and there's gunfire all around. I'm running down the fire escape, sparks pinging all over the place. I can't really tell who's on my side and who's not…so I basically run to within a few feet of them and as they raise their guns that's when I cap 'em…or usually right hook 'em or snap their neck, you know…action movie stuff. Then Bruce Willis pops out of nowhere (I kid you not, he had the white wifebeater on like Die Hard) and he's yelling, "$teve, we gotta find the chief. I think he went this way." We go running down an alley and more cops show up…jumping down from the sky. It was like some kind of video game, they just show up in droves and we put them down the same way. "CHIEF!!!" The chief's up ahead…and a little bloody. Bruce is covering me as I check him out. It's not looking good. He hands me his walkie talkie, "They're on their way. You get them out of here." "Sorry chief, we're not leaving you for some f**king lounge singer." (Sorry Richard…but to be honest, we had no idea where you were at)

The chopper showed up overhead but couldn't make it down between the buildings…so I threw the chief over my left shoulder and we ran up the stairs to the nearest rooftop. Bruce is yelling behind us, I'm hearing flamethrowers & bazookas and it's just getting ridiculously loud. We make it to the rooftop, the helicopter's spotlight is blaring in my face…and then I wake up…to a helicopter outside my window. No, not right outside my window looking in or anything…but just flying over the Denver Skyline…of which my apartment is now a part of. I guess we made it. There was another one later that morning were I was driving around outside of a club…and the door opens…and an ex-girlfriend gets into my car. I give a stunned "Hi" as she immediately leans in and starts making out with me. It was hella hot. Her lips were a little thinner than I remembered…but it didn't matter. How could I possibly complain about this? It was just different. Well, a few minutes into it, I woke up…and a piece of my top sheet was in my mouth and I had a hold on one of my pillows with my right arm. Yeah, that was an interesting night. I know some of you may have the opinion about dreams that they're like photographs. If you're not in them and nobody's having sex, then you just don't care…and that's cool…but then again, there are a few of you out there that might think something differently…

Dream Study - People in at least three countries, including the United States, believe dreams contain important hidden truths, said researcher Carey Morewedge, an assistant professor at Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh. In six different studies, Morewedge and his colleagues surveyed nearly 1,100 people about their dreams. The results are detailed in the February issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. "Psychologists' interpretations of the meaning of dreams vary widely but our research shows that people believe their dreams provide meaningful insight into themselves and their world." In one study that surveyed general beliefs about dreams, Morewedge and co-author Michael Norton, an assistant professor at Harvard Business School, surveyed 149 university students in the United States, India and South Korea. The researchers asked the students to rate different theories about dreams. Across all three cultures, an overwhelming majority of the students endorsed the theory that dreams reveal hidden truths about themselves and the world, a belief also endorsed by a nationally representative sample of Americans. In another study, Morewedge and his colleagues wanted to explore how dreams might influence people's waking behavior. A total of 182 commuters at a Boston train station were asked to imagine that one of four possible scenarios had happened the night before a scheduled airline trip: The national threat level was raised to orange, indicating a high risk of terrorist attack; they consciously thought about their plane crashing; they dreamed about a plane crash; or a real plane crash occurred on the route they planned to take. A dream of a plane crash was more likely to affect travel plans than either thinking about a crash or a government warning, and the dream of a plane crash produced a similar level of anxiety as did an actual crash. Finally, Morewedge wanted to find out whether people perceive all dreams as equally meaningful, or whether their interpretations were influenced by their waking beliefs and desires. So, in another study, 270 men and women from across the United States took a short online survey in which they were asked to remember a dream they had had about a person they knew. People ascribed more importance to pleasant dreams about a person they liked as compared to a person they did not like, while they were more likely to consider an unpleasant dream more meaningful if it was about a person they disliked. "In other words, people attribute meaning to dreams when it corresponds with their pre-existing beliefs and desires. This was also the case in another experiment which demonstrated that people who believe in God were likely to consider any dream in which God spoke to them to be meaningful; agnostics, however, considered dreams in which God spoke to be more meaningful when God commanded them to take a pleasant vacation than when God commanded them to engage in self-sacrifice." More research is needed to explore fully how people interpret their dreams, and in what cases dreams may actually reveal hidden information, Morewedge said. "Most people understand that dreams are unlikely to predict the future but that doesn't prevent them from finding meaning in their dreams, whether their contents are mundane or bizarre." So what do you think? Have you ever dreamed something & it came true? I know I have. A few times. That's why I usually optimistic about the future…because I have some pretty good dreams. Then again, not too sure I want to be in a shootout while running security for a parade float. At least Bruce Willis was on my side. You can't go wrong there.

Fox Update - Well, the rumor mill is abound again about the breakup of supermegahottie Megan Fox and her fiancĂ© of the past few years Brian Austin Green. According to a source (who may or may not exist), "The relationship has run its course. It's completely amicable and they are remaining friends." Apparently they're both focusing on their careers…which is groovy. There really must be something to the whole getting-a-tattoo of your fiancĂ©'s name. Angelina & Billy Bob, Johnny Depp & Winona Ryder, even Filly's friend from New Orleans Belle had a tattoo of her ex-husband…and now these two. By the way, if you don't know where that tattoo is, it's a really hot location. The name who inked that tattoo is a very lucky man. I'm not gonna jump the gun quite yet…because it seems about six months ago I fell for this trick…but regardless, I'm looking forward to my newest Netflix movie, "How to Lose Friends & Alienate People" starring the smoldering temptress…and don't think for a minute that I don't see the convenient timing of the this & the movie's DVD release. Also, you know what this update means…more pictures of Miss Fox…and why not a few of those legendary tattoos…and remember "Think Before You Ink"

If you ever want to hear a truly heartbreaking tale about getting somebody's name tattooed, let me know and I'd be happy to share it with you…with fake names of course to protect the innocent…and no, I don't have any tattoos…yet. Not scared of the needles or pain or anything like that…just the permanency of it. "Oooh, he has a fear of commitment." Not so. Aside from the stereotypical "Mom" heart tattoo, I really don't know what else I would get or that has serious meaning to me. I mean, even something like a Philadelphia Eagles logo or a basketball over my heart (oh yeah, it's been considered) would like kind of weird when the Eagles change their logo again…or everybody wonders why I have a basketball on my chest with a perky pink center (it's a nipple joke). "Why do you have a Panda on your ass?" "Because I'm gonna be reincarnated as the Panda that repopulates the species…because Karma is good to me." "That's stupid." "You're stupid." Based on my recent dreams, I'm thinking something along this line...

Who knows, maybe some drunken weekend in Vegas some recently-single smoldering temptress will convince me to get a tattoo of a raven-haired fox on my hip…but at this time, I doubt it. I've seen myself naked in the mirror…and I like it. Did Michelangelo do tattoos? DaVinci? Van Gogh? Picasso? Rembrandt? Rodin? Monet? Actually those last two were pretty much blind, so I wouldn't have trusted them anyway. There are some great tats out there…usually located on the smalls of women's backs…but yeah, I don't think I need one…and it would be very hard…er, difficult to convince me otherwise.

Local Good Samaritan - Speaking of Karma, here in Denver, a man who helped push three people out of the path of a pickup truck before being struck and injured has gotten a strange reward for his good deed: A jaywalking ticket. Family members said 58-year-old bus driver Jim Moffett and another man were helping two elderly women cross a busy Denver street in a snowstorm when he was hit Friday night. Moffett suffered bleeding in the brain, broken bones, a dislocated shoulder and a possible ruptured spleen. He was in serious but stable condition Wednesday. The Colorado State Patrol issued the citation. Trooper Ryan Sullivan said that despite Moffett's intentions, jaywalking contributed to the accident. Moffett had been driving his bus when the two women got off. In the interest of safety, he got out and, together with another passenger, helped the ladies cross. Moffett's stepson, Ken McDonald, said the driver of the pickup plowed into his stepfather, but not before Moffett pushed the two women out of the way. When he awoke in intensive care, he learned of the ticket. "His reaction was dazed and confused. I was a little angry." The other man also was cited for jaywalking, while the pickup driver was cited with careless driving that led to injury. Sullivan said the two elderly women haven't been cited but the investigation is ongoing. Do cops realize that stuff like this makes it really difficult to like them? "Wow, we're really glad that you saved those two old ladies. By the way, pay this in the next 5-14 days. Oh sorry, I mean…have somebody else pay this for you in the next 5-14 days. I think you're gonna be stuck here longer than that." How is it that I have all these crazy dreams about saving people…and I have absolutely no desire whatsoever to be a police officer? It's weird. Anyway, Mr. Moffett, I wish you a speedy and complete recovery.

That'll probably do it for today. Not much else to say really. Tonight's another Yoga class at the gym, new movies coming in the mail today, gonna try to have a little fun this weekend…so we'll see what comes up. Can't believe February's almost over. It seems like just the other day I was ringing in 2009 with Bubbles in Vegas. Have a great day everybody!!!

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