Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Weekend with JL Clyde

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Well, I know that some of you were stunned because I didn't have a posting yesterday (Lilie) but it was because (disclaimer), I have checked with the International Board of Weights & Measures...and there is exactly One Sh*tload of pictures in this post...and there could've been a lot more...and they take a while to download...so there you go. Please enjoy...the tale of my adventure with Miss JL Clyde.
Saturday morning started with me waking up early and driving out to the airport to pick up JL Clyde. I even brought her a muffin and grape juice…because I'm like that…and they were free in my apartments' lobby. Thinking ahead though. Then we caught up while driving back to civilization…and I missed a turn…and took a few wrong turns…but it basically just added a half-hour on our drive out to Hippie College Town, USA a.k.a. Boulder, Colorado - Home of the Buffalo. Our first stop was the Pearl Street Mall to check out the shinies and there's a lot of book stores…and I know JL likes books. So yeah, we wandered around there for a while and had breakfast at Foolish Craig's and had a fun time. Here are some pictures…
JL Clyde stalking a squirrel
Colorado - Not as big as you think
"Don't do it, dude!!! Let's talk about it!!!"
I was severely disappointed when I walked
in and they just had jewelry & rock animals
It's the planets...and other things
I'm a sucker for eyes...
Next stop was out to the Celestial Seasoning Tea Factory to see how they make their tea products…and get some free swag. Now, the only time that I really drank tea was when I spent a month in China…because it was either that or tap water…and I was less likely to get a parasite from boiling hot tea…but it's okay. We even tried a NEW FLAVOR that hasn't even hit stores yet - Sleepytime Vanilla. It was pretty good. Then we watched a video about the history of the company (and mocked it accordingly) then went on a tour of the factory. There was even a machine called a Robotic Palletizer, which I thought sounded like some kind of mechanical tasting device…but it really just put the boxes of tea bags (plenty of jokes & questions to the guide about Teabagging by the way…but they're the ones that had the signs up) on pallets for shipping. Not nearly as cool as I imagined. Now, even though it was a weekend, so the factory machines weren't operating, they still didn't allow pictures…so please, especially enjoy the pictures on JL Clyde's blog (while I was running distraction / interference) because that's how we roll…
Panda
Dress made by teabagging
After the tour, we headed to the World Market to get my table which had finally come in…only to find that it was entirely too big for my car…and they don't deliver. So I'm going to have to find a friend with a truck. I'll ask around at work and offer somebody dinner or something. So yeah, then we drove back to Denver…and along the way, she noticed that there was a lot of bicyclers in Boulder. "Oh yeah, everybody has a bike and/or a dog. They're mostly outdoorsy people. You really have to keep your eye out for them in the city though…because they like to get ran over…and then you yell out BIIIIIKES!!! Like it's a new vulgar expression defining a lifestyle choice." So for the rest of the weekend, whenever we saw a biker, we basically yelled BIKE to entertain ourselves during an otherwise boring commute around town. Oh…and I finally showed JL Clyde my apartment…and she thinks it's awesome…of course.
After a little rest, we walked about town, grabbed some dinner (and beer) at Old Chicago, did some more walking, people watched…and that's when three separate people asked me if I knew where I could get some salad ("Yeah, there's a restaurant about two blocks down called Mad Greens that has a bitchin' salad bar. Oh…you mean…THAT salad? Try that direction. I know they have nose clams."), ask for directions to a place I've never heard ("Do you know the address?" "26th & Welton." "Okay, well Welton's three blocks that way, then you just take a left and follow that ten blocks to 26th Street." "Are you sure that's where this place is?" "(Silence) If it's truly located at 26th & Welton, it would be at those directions.") and then another guy told me that I looked "f**ked up" and then offered me Jaeger out of his friend's pocket ("Nah. I'm good. I've got a bottle at home."). Here are some pictures of downtown...
"Ooooh, mischief..."
Then to the burlesque show at Lannie's Clocktower Cabaret…where we were served alcoholic beverages by women in corsets…and it was actually a lot of sexy fun. Great for bachelorette parties…and just a girl's night out…ladies. The dances were nice, the music was great, I still have Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy stuck in my head, the comedy was good, the drinks were strong, what more could you ask for? The lighting wasn't the best…and we didn't get tickets in advance, so we were kind of in the back…but here you go. Enjoy!!!
Sunday, we woke up gingerly and headed out to Four Mile Park, where they were having a Victorian Funeral in a restored farm house area, circa 1859. They had two old houses, a welcome center, stables with a few horses and buggies, a blacksmith shop, a root cellar, tepee, and activities like a tour of the house with reenactors doing a funeral during that time…which may sound really lame…but it was fun with the hysterical historical facts…like paid mourners…and they topped it off with free coffee and cranberry cookies. There were also Civil War soldiers talking about their latest trip to Fort Union in New Mexico and fighting Texan Confederates, a blacksmith, carriage rides around the park, a séance complete with a black cat & crystal ball…and we even braided the hair of the undead. By which I mean, back then they used the hair of the dead to braid and make girly stuff…but we didn't use real hair…so it was hair of the undead. Get it? Good. Here are some pictures…
"That is one big pile of sh*t..."
Kitchen
Blacksmith Shop
The diet Mountain Dew is historically correct
Apparently, pioneers used to recycle their urine
Proof that I can braid hair...ladies
Proof there are people with more skills at braiding
I feel the same way about working...
Next, we drove around and found Freaky's gift shop nearby…and we had to check it out…based on the name alone…and this window display…
Then we continued to the Hare Krishna temple about a mile away…where I was promised spiritual creaminess…but instead found these sights…
"This...is...AWESOME!!!"
Then we decided to just kind of drive around…and soon found signs pointing towards the Botanical Gardens…so we decided to follow those and check them out. Now, you're going to have to use your imagination a bit. See, it's early February in Denver…so not all the beautiful tropical plants were…well, alive in the frigid temperatures…but from what I understand…and can imagine & confirm with first hand reconnocense, this would be a PERFECT place for a date during the spring. With a plants in the ornate gardens in bloom, with winding paths and fragrant aromas, plenty of hidden crevasses and dark corners for a little spontaneous neckin' & mackin', 300 days a year of sunshine, and a rain forest observatory that takes you through an adventure straight out of Swiss Family Robinson in a hot, steamy environment and even a rooftop garden area…oh yeah, the possibilities are quite limitless. Did I mention it's also inexpensive? Well, here are the pictures…and if any of you ladies want a fun date…let me know…
You have to use your imagination this time of year
but I'll return...with better pictures...
From a quote that I was told many times:
"$teve, for the last time, I'll never below you."
Panda
The Rose (Thorn) Garden
Only color that we could find outside...but worth it
Inside the observatory
Little something I noticed...
Men's Room - Cactus & Palms
Women's Room - Flowers
Poison Arrow Frog - The prettier, the deadlier
Get your mind out of the gutter...
It's like a pink elephant
...and this one's like...like ugh...kitty?
After the gardens, we headed towards the nearby Cherry Creek part of town (where the rich folk shop) and looked around for some food. We found Hapa, a sushi joint with fairly reasonable prices (for food that isn't even cooked). The food was delicious…and the service was there. I'd recommend it if you're into raw fish…and sake. Again, pictures…
We then returned to my apartment and basically spent the rest of the night playing Rock Band 2 and watching "Tropic Thunder" and listening to Richard Cheese while eating pretentious snacks from the World Market like Shrimp Flavored chips, ginger treats and some Japanese apple chewy things. Oh…and of course, we had the Rum & Coke Slurpees.
Monday, I had to work. After work though, we were a little hungry. "What do you want?" "Cheese." Hmm, a challenge. Luckily, there's was a place nearby called Chedd's Grilled Cheese (no joke) so we walked there…and had a grilled cheese sandwich…and soup was also available…and bratwursts. Nice little place…and in a part of town that I hadn't ventured before, so good times. Here's some pictures…
Wahoo!!! Fish tacos!!!
Pin-ups by the bathrooms at Retro Room
We also stopped to get some gelato at Gelazzi, home of the Gelatini, which is gelato…with alcohol. There's apparently even a happy hour from 5 to 7 PM. What better way to get a lady intoxicated then to mask top shelf vodka in ice cream? Perhaps I've said too much. I actually didn't try the Gelatini but I'm sure they're great. Then we walked around more, had a drink at a place called the Retro Room (because our original destination, Euphoria Lounge & a hip-hop beatnik open mic night was closed) and then headed back to the apartment for "Hamlet 2" and snacks.
Tuesday, I had to work again. JL Clyde went to the Zoo (jealous) while I was working, so check out her blog for pictures of that. About the time that work ended, it was starting to snow a bit…and just got really really cold…so we decided to just relax at the apartment, order some Chinese food and watch movies. In case you were interested, it was "The Usual Suspects" and "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang", both of which she allegedly had never seen before. I'm skeptical though…because I swear that I've watched Kiss Kiss Bang Bang like six or seven times now…and each time it was the first time for either myself or the person I watched it with…and I don't have that many friends where she wasn't there for at least one of them. Oh well. That's what that night was.
That should do it for this entry. Enough pictures for ya? Have a great day everybody!!! Thanks for looking...HOT!!!

2 comments:

Pirate Monkey said...

Haha...you said 'teabagging'...It looks like you had a fun weekend! Have you ever been to White Fence Farm? It's a restaurant/place-of-awesomeness in Lakewood...

$teve said...

I have not. I'll have to check it out. P-Monkey, do you live here in the Denver area? How do you know of Lakewood? And if so, how have we not hung out yet? :)

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