Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
The weekend was awesome. Friday, as expected, my stepdad slept in an hour or so late...but eventually he picked me up and we started the drive to Cheyenne. Not really much to report about that...because it's Wyoming...but we listened to hits of the 60's on the XM radio and a great time was had. Of course when I drove, he got there faster and my stepdad snored...because you know, he had been up for almost three hours by that point. Anyway, we got to Cheyenne and met up with my mom for her birthday. We drove to downtown (yes, there's a downtown) and had dinner at the Shadows Bar & Grill at the Union Pacific railroad. The food was pretty good...and they had beer. On the way home, we picked up some high point Heinekens, ice cream & birthday cake. We decided against going to a bar because...well, I'm not exactly sure why but I'm sure it had to do with my stepdad complaining that he was tired...and my mom didn't want him to feel left out. We had fun watching "Ghostbusters" on AMC and making fun of HGTV. Okay, I was the only one making fun of it. I slept on a sofabed.
Saturday, my stepdad was still tired (saying he was sick) so we decided to just let him rest in Cheyenne while we went to have fun in Denver. We went to the Museum of Natural History and had a great time (though it's my third time going there since Halloween) and then we checked into our hotel, The Ritz-Carlton, Denver. Because where we stayed also is next to where my former employers there in Denver work, I ran into a LOT of former coworkers...and they had nothing but flattering things to say about me to my mama...and one of them even gave her a rose for her birthday. How cool is that? They asked me how I was doing...and told me about Boss Man M going to Lake Tahoe & how I should look into that. Already done. It was pretty cool. Anyway, then we met up with my cousin Ranae and we went off to have some fun. Dinner at the Wynkoop Brewing Company (which I vaguely remember from St Patrick's Day with the Mad Scientist & From Russia With Love) followed by the burlesque show at Lannie's Clockwork Cabaret. We were just walking by and they wanted to do it...and I of course had no objections. Oh yeah, during dinner we talked about going on another family cruise like the one we did three years ago to Catalina & Ensenada...so I'll keep you posted on any findings there. We really liked the idea of a quick Caribbean cruise from the Port of New Orleans, so that we could spend a few days there too...but yeah, money's tight all over...so we'll see how it goes. That night, I slept like a log on a Ritz-Carlton bed...and had a wee bit of a headache the next morning...but it quickly faded.
Sunday was extremely boring and was just driving back to Utah across Wyoming...and I think there was rain for a second...but yeah. Really nothing remarkable other than my stepdad's flatulence smells like steak & diet coke...and that's not cool. He may want to see a doctor about that...but he's still a great guy...and my mom had a great birthday. Now for some news...since I really don't have a whole lot of pictures.
Marilyn Update - The price for spending eternity above Marilyn Monroe is more than $4.6 million...and your soul. That's how much the crypt directly above the actress went for in an online auction that ended Monday. The eBay.com listing says the space at Westwood Village Memorial Park Cemetery above Monroe is being vacated, making room for someone else. The listing also offers the detail that the current occupant is "looking face down on" Monroe, who was laid to rest at the cemetery in 1962. Bidding for the auction started at $500,000 on August 14. The final bid was $4,602,100. The Los Angeles Times reported earlier this month that the seller was Elsie Poncher, who was putting her late husband's crypt up for auction to help pay off the $1.6 million mortgage on her Beverly Hills home. Poncher told the newspaper that her husband, Richard Poncher, bought the crypt from Monroe's former husband, Joe DiMaggio, during his 1954 divorce from Monroe. Her husband died 23 years ago at 81. Jolene Mason, the cemetery's general manager, told the newspaper there is one empty crypt left in the mausoleum where Monroe is buried, available for $250,000 and located two spots above the actress and to the left (any real estate developers out there?). A message left for Poncher was not returned Monday...but she earlier said that, when she sells the crypt, she'll put her husband's remains in the one reserved for her, and when her time comes, she'll be cremated. This article is missing one important bit of information though. Who bought it? My guess - The Viagra Guy, Dr. Frost. Okay, so that's just a bold speculation about somebody who would have that kind of money...but hey, the Media is the one who screwed up this report. "That's great, $4.6 million, big surprise...but who has that kind of cash in this economy? Gates? Oprah? The douche from Girls Gone Wild? Who?"
Why Russia Fell - Russia's government has issued a tender for luxury furniture, including a gilded bed, triggering an outcry Wednesday in a country where the economy shrank 10.9% in the last quarter. The interior ministry said it wanted a cherry wood bed and that the "the decorative elements of the head and footboards must be covered with a thin layer of 24 carat gold." The total value of the furniture tender was 24.4 million rubles (about $700,000), according to the procurement agency's site zakupki.gov.ru. "I cannot imagine the need to purchase expensive items during such a difficult financial situation for the country," wrote blogger https://owa.marriott.com/exchweb/bin/redir.asp?URL=http://us.rd.yahoo.com/dailynews/nm/od_uk_nm/storytext/oukoe_uk_russia_bed/33091751/SIG=11ani6fti/*http://www.vidal-palermo.livejournal.com shortly after the details became public. The tender announcement said the bed should be sent to the ministry headquarters. Other items must be delivered to an address in an exclusive dacha district on Moscow's outskirts. According to Russian newspaper Vedomosti, this is where several senior officials in the interior ministry reside in state-owned homes. "Golden toilets would be more logical...and a negotiating table should be made of bulletproof and shock resistant material," wrote one comment on the Vedomosti website. The publication of the tenders comes as part of Russian efforts to improve transparency and boost public confidence in efforts to cut corruption by holding public competitions for state purchases. Seems to be working great so far. There's no better way to show that your nation is doing great...than by giving all your leaders golden headboards while the rest of the country is in political & economic turmoil. Oh...and they still have a lot of nukes, right? This can only end well...but they'll have some competition in bringing about the end of mankind.
Apocalypse Update - Police said a suspicious package at a shipping store turned out to be a box of LIVE BOA CONSTRICTORS. Fairfield Township police said they were called Tuesday after FedEx Office employees saw two pillowcases moving when they got curious and opened the parcel at a store about 20 miles north of Cincinnati. Officer Justen McDade said he looked in one pillowcase, saw a snake and quickly tied the pillowcase closed. A reptile rescue group was contacted and took custody of the snakes. A local man was listed on the shipping label, and the package was addressed to a man in Phoenix, Arizona. He's been told he may not get the snakes. McDade said authorities are trying to verify if the sender had a license for shipping snakes. No charges have been filed. However, we know the truth. The snakes that have been trying to take over the world one region at a time...have now gone global through our own infrastructure and delivery system. The sly slithering bastards!!! No longer an amusing prank...but rather the choice method of attack by our reptilian enemies. Like launching canisters of laughing gas into a battlefield...or whoopee cushions that explode like claymores...or rancid banana cream pies, it's a cruel kind of warfare. Our enemy is evolving...and we must fight back before it's too late...and they take over our supremacy of the air as well (trust me, I've seen it in a movie before).
Fortune Cookie of the Day - "A Surprise Gift from Another Will Leave a Lasting Impression...In Your Bed" - I like the sound of this one...like some good rough cowgirl lovin' that's gonna leave a dent in my mattress and work those springs. Mmm...I remember those days. Patience, $teve. One of these days somebody will take you up on your offer.
So yeah, I guess enough of that babble for one day. The weekend was fun...and hopefully so was yours. Tonight I'll probably watch a zombie flick or something ridiculous...but I'm in the mood. I should probably do some laundry too. I know that you are obviously concerned about this stuff...but I basically just type what I think. Mmm, that girl's got a nice backside. Did I pay my electric bill? I like toast. Toast and Why is Return of the Jedi on the History Channel? Really? I wonder what Crocodile Dundee's up to nowadays. Whatever it is, I'm sure it's awesome. Have a great day everybody!!!
The weekend was awesome. Friday, as expected, my stepdad slept in an hour or so late...but eventually he picked me up and we started the drive to Cheyenne. Not really much to report about that...because it's Wyoming...but we listened to hits of the 60's on the XM radio and a great time was had. Of course when I drove, he got there faster and my stepdad snored...because you know, he had been up for almost three hours by that point. Anyway, we got to Cheyenne and met up with my mom for her birthday. We drove to downtown (yes, there's a downtown) and had dinner at the Shadows Bar & Grill at the Union Pacific railroad. The food was pretty good...and they had beer. On the way home, we picked up some high point Heinekens, ice cream & birthday cake. We decided against going to a bar because...well, I'm not exactly sure why but I'm sure it had to do with my stepdad complaining that he was tired...and my mom didn't want him to feel left out. We had fun watching "Ghostbusters" on AMC and making fun of HGTV. Okay, I was the only one making fun of it. I slept on a sofabed.
Saturday, my stepdad was still tired (saying he was sick) so we decided to just let him rest in Cheyenne while we went to have fun in Denver. We went to the Museum of Natural History and had a great time (though it's my third time going there since Halloween) and then we checked into our hotel, The Ritz-Carlton, Denver. Because where we stayed also is next to where my former employers there in Denver work, I ran into a LOT of former coworkers...and they had nothing but flattering things to say about me to my mama...and one of them even gave her a rose for her birthday. How cool is that? They asked me how I was doing...and told me about Boss Man M going to Lake Tahoe & how I should look into that. Already done. It was pretty cool. Anyway, then we met up with my cousin Ranae and we went off to have some fun. Dinner at the Wynkoop Brewing Company (which I vaguely remember from St Patrick's Day with the Mad Scientist & From Russia With Love) followed by the burlesque show at Lannie's Clockwork Cabaret. We were just walking by and they wanted to do it...and I of course had no objections. Oh yeah, during dinner we talked about going on another family cruise like the one we did three years ago to Catalina & Ensenada...so I'll keep you posted on any findings there. We really liked the idea of a quick Caribbean cruise from the Port of New Orleans, so that we could spend a few days there too...but yeah, money's tight all over...so we'll see how it goes. That night, I slept like a log on a Ritz-Carlton bed...and had a wee bit of a headache the next morning...but it quickly faded.
Sunday was extremely boring and was just driving back to Utah across Wyoming...and I think there was rain for a second...but yeah. Really nothing remarkable other than my stepdad's flatulence smells like steak & diet coke...and that's not cool. He may want to see a doctor about that...but he's still a great guy...and my mom had a great birthday. Now for some news...since I really don't have a whole lot of pictures.
Marilyn Update - The price for spending eternity above Marilyn Monroe is more than $4.6 million...and your soul. That's how much the crypt directly above the actress went for in an online auction that ended Monday. The eBay.com listing says the space at Westwood Village Memorial Park Cemetery above Monroe is being vacated, making room for someone else. The listing also offers the detail that the current occupant is "looking face down on" Monroe, who was laid to rest at the cemetery in 1962. Bidding for the auction started at $500,000 on August 14. The final bid was $4,602,100. The Los Angeles Times reported earlier this month that the seller was Elsie Poncher, who was putting her late husband's crypt up for auction to help pay off the $1.6 million mortgage on her Beverly Hills home. Poncher told the newspaper that her husband, Richard Poncher, bought the crypt from Monroe's former husband, Joe DiMaggio, during his 1954 divorce from Monroe. Her husband died 23 years ago at 81. Jolene Mason, the cemetery's general manager, told the newspaper there is one empty crypt left in the mausoleum where Monroe is buried, available for $250,000 and located two spots above the actress and to the left (any real estate developers out there?). A message left for Poncher was not returned Monday...but she earlier said that, when she sells the crypt, she'll put her husband's remains in the one reserved for her, and when her time comes, she'll be cremated. This article is missing one important bit of information though. Who bought it? My guess - The Viagra Guy, Dr. Frost. Okay, so that's just a bold speculation about somebody who would have that kind of money...but hey, the Media is the one who screwed up this report. "That's great, $4.6 million, big surprise...but who has that kind of cash in this economy? Gates? Oprah? The douche from Girls Gone Wild? Who?"Why Russia Fell - Russia's government has issued a tender for luxury furniture, including a gilded bed, triggering an outcry Wednesday in a country where the economy shrank 10.9% in the last quarter. The interior ministry said it wanted a cherry wood bed and that the "the decorative elements of the head and footboards must be covered with a thin layer of 24 carat gold." The total value of the furniture tender was 24.4 million rubles (about $700,000), according to the procurement agency's site zakupki.gov.ru. "I cannot imagine the need to purchase expensive items during such a difficult financial situation for the country," wrote blogger https://owa.marriott.com/exchweb/bin/redir.asp?URL=http://us.rd.yahoo.com/dailynews/nm/od_uk_nm/storytext/oukoe_uk_russia_bed/33091751/SIG=11ani6fti/*http://www.vidal-palermo.livejournal.com shortly after the details became public. The tender announcement said the bed should be sent to the ministry headquarters. Other items must be delivered to an address in an exclusive dacha district on Moscow's outskirts. According to Russian newspaper Vedomosti, this is where several senior officials in the interior ministry reside in state-owned homes. "Golden toilets would be more logical...and a negotiating table should be made of bulletproof and shock resistant material," wrote one comment on the Vedomosti website. The publication of the tenders comes as part of Russian efforts to improve transparency and boost public confidence in efforts to cut corruption by holding public competitions for state purchases. Seems to be working great so far. There's no better way to show that your nation is doing great...than by giving all your leaders golden headboards while the rest of the country is in political & economic turmoil. Oh...and they still have a lot of nukes, right? This can only end well...but they'll have some competition in bringing about the end of mankind.
Apocalypse Update - Police said a suspicious package at a shipping store turned out to be a box of LIVE BOA CONSTRICTORS. Fairfield Township police said they were called Tuesday after FedEx Office employees saw two pillowcases moving when they got curious and opened the parcel at a store about 20 miles north of Cincinnati. Officer Justen McDade said he looked in one pillowcase, saw a snake and quickly tied the pillowcase closed. A reptile rescue group was contacted and took custody of the snakes. A local man was listed on the shipping label, and the package was addressed to a man in Phoenix, Arizona. He's been told he may not get the snakes. McDade said authorities are trying to verify if the sender had a license for shipping snakes. No charges have been filed. However, we know the truth. The snakes that have been trying to take over the world one region at a time...have now gone global through our own infrastructure and delivery system. The sly slithering bastards!!! No longer an amusing prank...but rather the choice method of attack by our reptilian enemies. Like launching canisters of laughing gas into a battlefield...or whoopee cushions that explode like claymores...or rancid banana cream pies, it's a cruel kind of warfare. Our enemy is evolving...and we must fight back before it's too late...and they take over our supremacy of the air as well (trust me, I've seen it in a movie before).Fortune Cookie of the Day - "A Surprise Gift from Another Will Leave a Lasting Impression...In Your Bed" - I like the sound of this one...like some good rough cowgirl lovin' that's gonna leave a dent in my mattress and work those springs. Mmm...I remember those days. Patience, $teve. One of these days somebody will take you up on your offer.
So yeah, I guess enough of that babble for one day. The weekend was fun...and hopefully so was yours. Tonight I'll probably watch a zombie flick or something ridiculous...but I'm in the mood. I should probably do some laundry too. I know that you are obviously concerned about this stuff...but I basically just type what I think. Mmm, that girl's got a nice backside. Did I pay my electric bill? I like toast. Toast and Why is Return of the Jedi on the History Channel? Really? I wonder what Crocodile Dundee's up to nowadays. Whatever it is, I'm sure it's awesome. Have a great day everybody!!!
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