Shamma Llama Ding Dong

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Friday night after work, I headed straight for Cedar City. A journey of just over 250 miles (or about a three-hour drive with pit stops). Now, my car Brandy isn't the fastest car on the block...but the speedometer only goes to 85...and I'm pretty sure that if I had a flux capacitor that I'd be back in 1955 right now...and that was just going with the flow of traffic. Good to know that if I needed to make it to Vegas for whatever reason, that I could do it make it in about five hours...and a tank of gas. Anyway, made it down there, met up with the Wingmans and we got a few adult beverages and watched "Van Wilder: Freshman Year" which is a new straight-to-DVD sequel to the legendary Van Wilder series...and though not nearly as good as the previous installments...still had its moments. It's what you would expect really.

Saturday, we had breakfast at Denny's and then traveled to about five different thrift stores and grocery stores for various items, then we drove out to Kanarraville Canyon for what was supposed to be a beautiful hike...but they had closed the road up there for some reason, so then we went to a park next to a creek in Cedar City (I think it had a convenient name like Cedar City Creek Park...but I'm not sure) and had some fun there...as these pictures will confirm...

By the way, remember when I went to Vegas a few weeks ago?

This was the present that Keanna made for me

Finally downloaded the pics...but this was the only PG-13 (I wish...)

Please tell me what the f**k this is

The coolest tie ever. Why?

It has a panda being sexually assaulted by Mickey Mouse

Ducktales Shotglasses - Collect the whole set

At the Christian Thrift Store

This one's just too funny...

Don't feel bad. I had to read it twice too

This book was a BUCK!!!

Kanarraville

Cedar City Creek Park Place Swimmy Thing

This is Tawnie. She's a big bitch...and due to have puppies soon

That night, we headed over to to Buck's (Wingman's dad) have a wonderful dinner of Asian Chicken salad ala Wingman with all the fixin's. Do you remember Buck? He's an awesome guy who always makes sure that you're comfortable in his home. However, in the past year or so, he's been in a bit of a dry spell because...well, his now ex-wife was a whore...and as he put it, two things you don't share are your toothbrush and your wife. Shortly after saying that, he looked me in the eyes and said, "So how's your sex life, $teve?" I didn't know how to react to a man in his sixties asking me that question other than, "We're pretty much in the same boat, buddy. It's been a long time since shore leave." It's always sad to see good guys go without. Anyway, enough of that depressing stuff. After dinner, we watched "12 Rounds" starring WWE's John Cena. The story is about a New Orleans police officer (Cena) who assisted in the capture of an international arms dealer. During the arrest, the dealer's superhot girlfriend is killed (by her own stupidity) so a year later, the guy breaks out...and holds a grudge against him. So the arms dealer kidnaps the cop's girlfriend...and makes him do these 12 tests or whatever to get back at him. Sound a little far-fetched, well it's not as bad as you would think. It's directed by Renny Harlin ("Long Kiss Goodnight" & "Die Hard 2") so you know it's full of action...but yeah, it's not incredible. I did like that it's set in New Orleans so you get to see a lot of the city...but yeah, only okay in my book. It's good to see wrestlers in movies though. Why? Because then you KNOW that it's fake...and there's really no excuse for thinking that it's real.

Sunday was a busy work day...but we started the morning with Pfannkuchen at Buck's (German Pancakes) then we starting putting things away within the house, you know, to make walkways...because that place was jam-packed with moving boxes and pantry food. The Wingman & I even made a canopy that would impress the Amish given the materials that we had and could withstand the winds of Iron County...all in the merciless heat. Why did I spend my weekend helping these guys instead of going to have yet another debaucherous weekend in Vegas? Because that's what friends do. Anyway, fast forward a few hours of labor, throw in a spaghetti dinner at Buck's, end it with a three-hour drive back to Slick City...and then I went right to bed ready for a busy Monday.

Monday morning started a little earlier than usual...but only because I had an interview for another job at the same location (can't believe it's already been 90 days). This was for the job with the contacts in Tahoe that I mentioned a few weeks ago. The interview went exceptionally well...and I'm fairly certain the only way that I'm not going to get this job based on my experience, skill set, charming personality and work ethic...is if this job was basically predetermined beforehand (which does happen a lot) but I'm pretty optimistic that I'll have a new, shinier badge before long...and carry an even bigger gun to match. So yeah, I'll keep you posted...and a few other local job opportunities came up, so we'll see how those go too.

After work, I played for the company's volleyball team...and it was my first time playing in probably 7-8 years...and it showed a little bit. However, by the end of the matches, I was starting to get back into the swing of things. We did okay. Won the first game by forfeit, then lost a close second game due to some questionable refereeing...but whatever. We had fun...and got a good sweat going. What more could you ask for? Tomorrow, I play "Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?" for my company. That's a lot of pressure...but I think I'll be okay. I still have the maturity of a 5th grader, so hopefully that helps out. Wish me luck.

Fortune Cookies of the Day - Today was a double dipper because...well, I'm awesome. First was "Your First Choice is Always the Best to Follow...in bed" - Yeah, I'm pretty damn happy with my first choice. Really miss her sometimes...but hey, she's happy and I'm happy and we're happy...even if it's not together. Next up was "Be Tactful - Do Not Overlook your own Opportunity...in bed" - So I should practice tact, which is always a strong suit of mine (stop laughing). In doing so, I will be able to see my opportunity. Sounds like a plan. I'll let you know how it goes.

Anyway, that'll do it for today. Big thanks again to the Wingmans & Buck for hosting me over the weekend. I hope that you're all having a wonderful time wherever you're reading this from...and if not, I'll probably have more kooky stories and dreams and obscure news stories in the near future. Just been kind of busy...and the "borrowed" internet situation has become cumbersome. Have a great day everybody!!!