Her Name Was Carmen

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Today has been a pretty good day thus far. At work, I was awarded with Employee of the Month (and it's my 2nd full month that I qualify for, mind you) as well as received a few sweet letters from lady coworkers...and a few prizes to go with all of this like a half-day off with pay (cha-ching) and a few vending machine vouchers. Also, I received quite a few emails and text messages from ladies who miss me and/or enjoy my craziness...and my niece Kairi called me last night to say she missed me. Oh yeah, $teve is susceptible to flattery...and he has no problem with letting it go to his head. Yes, it's a truly blessed day. Tomorrow should be a busy day because that's when a lot of job applications are going to be filled out after our HR is done with their "upgrades" which usually means...my information will be lost for about a year and I won't get any tuition reimbursement and I simply won't exist on a professional level. Sorry, that's just what happened the last time there was an "upgrade" with the HR department...so fingers crossed that doesn't happen again this time around. Wish me luck, eh? Here's some news...

First Love Reunited - With the help of a $250,000 reward, the founder of the Papa John's pizza chain has finally reunited with the muscle car he sold years ago to help keep his family's business afloat. John Schnatter sold the gold-and-black 1971 Chevrolet Camaro Z28 for $2,800 in 1983. The money helped save his father's tavern in Jeffersonville, Indiana, and he used the rest to start what would become a worldwide pizza business...but he still missed his beloved Camaro and spent years searching for it. He created a Web site on the search, held promotional appearances and eventually offered $250,000 to whoever found it. It turns out he didn't have to leave Kentucky, where the pizza chain is based in Louisville. The car only changed hands twice from the original buyers, ending up with Jeffery Robinson in Flatwoods, about 165 miles to the east. "When I first saw it I still wanted to look it over to make sure it was the car even though I knew it," Schnatter told The Associated Press. "That kind of hit me emotionally. I was kind of numb." The original buyers of Schnatter's car heard about the search when he appeared in a TV interview before an NFL game this month. An online search led them to the car blog Jalopnik, which has followed the search and tipped off Papa John's. Robinson, who bought the car about five years ago for $4,000, recently delivered the Camaro to Schnatter, earning the $250,000 reward. The original buyers will get $25,000 for their help tracking it down. Schnatter says it looks very much the same as it did when he sold it in 1983, but with a larger motor and fatter tires for drag racing. The car will be displayed at the company headquarters in Louisville, replacing a replica Schnatter commissioned while he searched for his original car. In honor of the reunion, Papa John's planned to offer all Camaro owners a free pizza at stores today (still a few hours left). See, I like this story...and it's probably because my first car was a 1985 Camaro named Carmen...and here's our story...

It was the summer of 1997, the beginning of my 16th year. That summer, I had my first REAL job...and yes, it was actually with the same company I work with now...but it was a good way to make money for a scrappy teenager with a lot of trivial knowledge and a sweet demeanor. I had worked relentlessly for almost three months and saved up for what would be my first car (like all kids should be forced to do). I had mentioned this to some coworkers...and I was introduced to Jane...and her husband JW (which stood for John Wayne...and was incredibly appropriate). These two had been together for about thirty years...and drove two things & two things only - Harleys & Camaros. Well, apparently it was time for an upgrade to newer models for both...so Jane was looking to sell her Carmen (which her son had wrecked pretty good a few months earlier) and as you would expect, she wanted to make sure she was going to a good home. So my dad & I went and hung out with them...and we chatted. I asked her why she had named her car Carmen and she always liked the name...but when I asked about her bike named Luke, she said, "I always give the bike a guy's name because I'm not into straddling girls and riding them all day." My response was, "Really? That's fitting because I name my cars after girls because I have no problem sliding inside, starting up their motor and burning a little rubber." Long story short, my charms had worked on both of them. They knew they had found a good home for Carmen...and it ended up saving me $400 from the original asking price. I spent the next year or so fixing her up and getting a new firecracker red paint job on her once the body was straightened out & the sound system was severely upgraded (like BUMP BUMP!!!). That was my car all through high school...and with my various jobs and road trips and driving an hour to school every day, I put about 25,000 miles a year plus on those tires...and she rarely gave me any trouble. We were like peas & carrots.

However, this love story has a pretty tragic ending. See, Carmen knew how to maneuver in the snow. You wouldn't think it, being a pretty sportscar...but she had pulled out a few trucks out of snowdrifts in her day. I did live next to a ski resort during my senior year. Also, she only slid out of control once (black ice on a winding canyon road after midnight shift...and maybe I was going a little too fast). She was surefooted...but I live in Utah...and cops & Mother Nature don't like red Camaros. Well, my second year of college, I had moved to the big city of Salt...and I was driving home from my gratis job of practice squad for the women's basketball team (mmm, those were the days) to get ready for my job that paid tuition...yes, with the same company that I work for now. It was snowing a bit...and it was cold...and the roads were icy. The road to my dad's basement (where I was living at the time...because again, I was paying tuition) had a bridge over the train tracks...and little did I know that the other side was extremely icy and unsalted...and there were a number of cars piled at the bottom of the bridge. My nimble-footed Carmen was able to stop on the ice...but the uninsured b**ch and her new Camry behind me...weren't so lucky...and they hit me pretty good, sending me spinning around on the ice a bit and slamming up against the roadside barriers. I was listening to Barry White at the time. Don't know why I remember that. Carmen was hurt. Both rear fenders were mangled and digging into the rear tires a bit...but I was okay...and of course, my first thought wasn't "I'm going to kill this f**ker" but making sure that the other driver was okay. She was...and so was her one-year-old daughter. I kid you not, less than a minute after the accident, a salt truck came by and salted the roads...maneuvering through about twenty cars that were wrecked. It was frustrating.



Well, we exchanged info...but little did I know that the info she gave me was...let's just say illegitimate...and she was never heard from again...and my insurance did nothing. There's actually an extremely funny flip-out story involving me, my mom & my brother going to the agency...and it was quite messy. I'm surprised the cops weren't called...but those f**kers probably get it all the time. F**K YOU INSURANCE INDUSTRY!!! So Carmen was able to drive home...but not much after that. Her injuries were quite severe...and it was basically time to put her down...by which I mean donate her to charity for the tax write-off. I kid you not when I say that was one of the hardest decision that I ever had to make. I know that sounds really lame...but I honestly loved that car. Like Loved, a car. It sounds lame...but I put a LOT into that car. I spent so much time fixing her...and washing her...and put a LOT of hard earned money into her...and just the way that we were forced to part, it cuts straight to my heart every time I think about it. We had been through a lot together. She wasn't a supercharged sportscar. She was a 5-speed 2.8L V6 that topped out around a hundred, which was more than enough. She was dependable. She was stylish. She was mine and I was hers. That's all we needed to get by. We worked hard & played harder. Now she's laid to rest in some junkyard somewhere...and all I have are a few pictures and a license plate. Well, shortly after, I was able to save up to get my Baby from a friend of my mom's...and then Brandy was given to me by the greatest great-step-grandfather that there ever was...but nobody forgets their first (unless they were really really drunk). Carmen was my first...and it makes my heart smile to see Papa John and his Camaro back together. I wonder if he has a name for her too. Like Goldie or something. I'll have to ask him next time we meet in an elevator or something.

Anyway, I'm gonna go cry now and try to scrounge up some pictures of Carmen. Not sure if any still exist...but we'll see. Wish me luck tomorrow with the whole HR job application upgrade fiasco. Seems like I was doing this same kind of thing last year. Let's hope this goes a little smoother. Have a great day everybody!!!