Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Please disregard the time this was posted. Well, I may be going to visit my mom in Cheyenne while she's stuck there for a month with work. Her birthday's coming up in two weeks...and rather than have her spend it alone, I may have to go visit and we'll probably swing by Denver again for a night. Maybe meet up with my cousin Ranae for a drink (since she's told me that she misses her downtown drinking buddy a few times). It's pretty open and in theory right now...but I'll keep you posted. Also, just keeping you posted...but the two jobs that I applied for here with the company, I was turned down, almost simultaneously. Why? Because I've only been with this department three months and other applicants have been for years...but they assured me that it was still a very tough decision based on my experience with other departments...and really look forward to having me apply for future positions. You know, the usual stuff...but hey, I'm still supremely confident in my abilities. Plenty of other opportunities here so I'd better just keep updating my resume. Last night, I also drove down to a little barbecue at my brother's to hang out with him, my buddy Isaiah and their respective wives...and that was a lot of fun. I was also pleased to know that my buddy Isaiah (who is basically my brother) feels the same way about my sister-in-law as I do...and frankly, it'd be best that she doesn't screw my brother over again. Sigh...so no other news in my life...so here's the news around the globe...
THE NIGHTMAN COMETH - Perhaps to a theater near you. Danny DeVito (Frank) and his co-stars on FX's "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" (quite possibly the greatest show in the history of television) are taking their sitcom on the road, with a live-theater adaptation of last season's musical finale, dubbed "The Nightman Cometh." Actor Rob McElhenney (Mac) said the cast performed some of the songs at the Troubadour club in Los Angeles. McElhenney said the show "sold out two nights in a matter of minutes and it went over really, really well, and Live Nation heard about it and approached us and said, `Hey, would you guys like to go on tour with this?'" Performances will be held September 15th in Boston, September 16th in New York, September 17th in Philadelphia (where it's always sunny), September 22nd in Seattle, September 24th in San Francisco and September 25th in Los Angeles. DeVito, whose credits include the role of Martini in the early '70s off-Broadway revival of "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest," said the cast had "totally, totally so much fun" doing "Nightman" in Los Angeles "with the fans and everybody that was there. It's been really great to get back there and have that feedback from the audience," the 64-year-old actor said Thursday. And, yes, DeVito sings, too. "He is to singing what Juice Newton was to ... juice," joked co-star Glenn Howerton (Dennis). My God, this may actually get me into a theatre without trickery. Damn it!!! When does Season 4 come out on DVD? September 13th? I want to watch "The Nightman Cometh" now. Did that sound enough like a bratty Baruka Salt? Anyway, we'll see if I can squander a trip out to one of these shows. I can't wait to walk out of a theatre production and say, "I thought the rape scene went pretty well."
Buy a MIG for $5 - Okay, so there are deals...and then there are DEALS!!! Russian investigators are probing the illegal sale of four fuselages of MiG-31 interceptor fighter jets that were sold off for as little as $5, although worth $3.7 million each, RIA news agency said on Thursday. Corruption is rife across Russia, with the country's President Dmitry Medvedev repeatedly pledging to launch crackdowns and repeatedly complaining this week about officials who demand bribes (when it should be the other way around). The sale came to light after an anti-corruption check was carried out to see whether regulations were followed during the sale of items from the Sokol Aircraft Construction plant located in the Russian Volga city of Nizhny Novgorod, RIA reported. "As a result, long-range supersonic interceptor aircraft that were not for sale were purchased by a dummy firm," prosecutors were quoted as saying by RIA. It did not say where the jet bodies had been found (it fell off a truck). So if you're looking to be Top Gun...but are on a bit of a budget...then Russia is the place for you. Sure, the jet fuel to fly it back to the United States is going to cost ya...and there may be more than a few questions by authorities when you enter American air space...but hey, just make sure that you have your license, registration and a legitimate bill of sale with you and it shouldn't be a big deal.
Record Wedding - A Chinese bride (not pictured) is hoping to enter the record books after getting married in a wedding dress with a train more than 2 km (1.2 miles) long trailing behind her. It took guests more than three hours to roll out the gown, complete with 9,999 silk red roses attached to it, in the northeastern province of Jilin, state news agency Xinhua said. "Both the length of the dress and the number silk roses pinned on the wedding dress can make history," the report quoted groom Zhao Peng as saying. Zhao, who has applied to Guinness World Records, said he was inspired after seeing a story on the previous record holder in Romania, where the dress measured just over 1.5 km. "I do not want a cliché wedding parade or banquet," he said. Bride Lin Rong "laughed and cried at the romantic gesture," Xinhua said. The dress cost around 40,000 yuan ($5,856), which prompted initial opposition to the plan from his family. "It is a waste of money in my opinion," said Zhao's mother. "Though I understand that he wants to show his love on the big day." Thanks for upping the ante, Zhao!!! Sure, my plan of proposing with a purple plastic spider ring may seem thoughtful and sweet...but now my future bride may want a wedding train over a mile long and have several thousand tulips woven into it...and a panda as a bridesmaid. I'm just kidding, that story's kind of sweet...and creepy all at the same time. I mean really...who wants a train over a mile long...unless it's hauling coal and other various fossil fuels across the Midwest? I think Zhao's mama was right. Waste of money...but a sweet gesture.
Hypnotist Stifled - Anyone who has ever seen a hypnotist (or a vampire movie) has had this thought...but please, don't act upon it. A South Korean hypnotist has been fined for stealing a kiss on a blind date with a woman he thought he had successfully put in a trance, news reports said Thursday. The 32-year-old man suggested hypnotizing his 27-year-old date during their first meeting arranged by a matchmaking agency in August last year, according to the Dong-a Ilbo newspaper and Yonhap news agency. The woman was eventually persuaded, and the hypnotist chanted: "Black hole! You will plunge deeper into a trance. You will feel thrilled all over your body and if my hand touches your body, you will feel intense pleasure." When the man, identified only by his surname, Park, thought his technique had worked, he went to kiss her...but the woman was fully alert, though her eyes were closed, and she pushed him away. Later, she filed accusations that he had sexually harassed her, the reports said. The Seoul Central District Court fined Park 3 MILLION WON (or roughly $2,453 here in the States). Quite the bill for a kiss...but having share a few meetings of the lips...and if it's shared with the right woman...than it can be worth every single won. Hopefully that was the case here...but I'm guessing probably not. Also, I'm thinking if he had done his whole "Black hole..." speech in a Spanish accent rather than Korean, that probably would've worked a little better. I'll have to remember that the next time I'm in a situation that called for it. Hmm...
Panda Update - My legacy is growing with every push. A giant panda at the San Diego Zoo gave birth to a cub the size of a stick of butter on Wednesday, her fifth cub born in the zoo since 1999. The public can view live video of the cub and its mother, Bai Yun, on the zoo's Web site. The sex of the mostly hairless, pink newborn, which was born around 5 a.m., is not known yet, said Dr. Ron Swaisgood of the zoo's Institute of Conservation Research. It will take about one month for the iconic black-and-white coloration of the giant panda to become visible, Swaisgood said. Its mother, Bai Yun, will care for the newborn by herself until she starts leaving the den regularly, at which time members of the zoo's giant panda team will step in briefly to check on the cub, he said. "She is a very experienced mother. She raised all of her other cubs until about 1.5 years, the natural age for separation. She's a real pro." Weighing in around 300 pounds, Bai Yun is about 1,000 times the size of her cub, who weighs around 4 ounces., the typical size of a baby panda. "Pandas give birth to what's called very 'altricial' cubs. That means they are very small and fragile. This cub would probably weigh about 4 ounces. It would be pink and hairless and completely dependent on the mother." Once again, my invention of Panda Porn is helping to save the species. It'd be nice to get some credit...but hey, when my grandkids can own a domesticated panda because the species has thrived and started reproducing like rabbits, then my legacy will live on. I'm cool with that.
Vick Update - So I assume you guys still remember former NFL quarterback Michael Vick. No? Okay, well he's the quarterback who was one of the most popular athletes in the world, the prototypical mobile quarterback of the future...and then he was the financier of an underground dogfighting ring...and spent the last two years in jail because of it. Well, he's out now...and looking for a job. The thing is...there are very few NFL teams even remotely interested in signing him. Not because he isn't well rested and has really had nothing better to do than work out (and wear suits to court dates) for the past two years...but because they're afraid of the backlash from animal rights groups like PETA. This is ridiculous to me. The man has served his time...and in my humble opinion, MUCH more than he should have served. If he's able to do his job and do it well, then he should be able to be hired without fear of persecution or attack from crazy hippies. Let's face it, there have been a lot worse things done by professional athletes...and recently...like say, vehicular manslaughter while under the influence of alcohol and getting less than a month in jail. Yeah, kinda pissed about it...but hey, what's done is done...and he's paid his dues. Now he's trying to get a job...and being turned down. Only a handful of teams haven't released public statements saying they'll have nothing to do with him...and he may have to resort to the new startup UFL league that I mentioned a few months ago (which may be a HUGE blessing to them) but I have some other suggestions. Now, the worst situation for him...is obviously going back to the Atlanta Falcons. Just a big PR thing there. There's also a few really sh*tty teams out there that should take an chance with this guy...like the Detroit Lions (seriously they can't get any worse...and their #1 draft pick isn't mobile enough or ready for the big time just yet) and the Oakland Raiders (though they have JaMarcus Russell who's supposed to be the same prototype...but their backup is 39-year old Jeff Garcia). The Eagles won't take a chance on him because...I'm not sure why but we Eagles fans did boo Santa Claus and there's probably a few pet lovers in the mix. My top suggestion though, Mr Vick. If you want to play in the NFL, play for the Washington Racists...er, Redskins. Why? Why not? Sure, there'll be more protesters than the few Native American groups left that are trying to get them to change their name. Their quarterback is lackluster. The rest of the team is pretty solid (barring injuries). The owner Daniel Snyder isn't afraid of making ballsy (and often stupid) decisions. Besides, it's the nation's capital. Big market. Hell, PETA might even be headquartered there (or in Vermont or something) and you can do a few PSA's to smooth things over, get a handshake photo-op with Obama, who I'm sure was a huge fan...and even a bigger fan of second chances, yeah it could really work out. However, what I expect to happen, is he'll sign with a UFL team for a contract worth about what I make in a year...and hopefully play for the Las Vegas Knights (still think that's the best name & I should get royalties for it) so that I can see him play a game or two when I'm down there. That'd be sweet. Regardless, Mister Vick, you did screw up...but you've paid your debt to society...and I for one think that you deserve a second chance. If I owned a team, I'd give you a tryout, regardless of what PETA has to say about it...but alas, I'm not a billionaire yet...and by the time that I am, you'll probably be retired by then. Best of luck to you, sir.
That'll do it for tonight. Tomorrow morning (pending weather), I will be helping out a sweet elderly woman paint her house...and then who knows? Laundry, movies, swim in the pool, adventures, silly putty, who knows? Sunday, I'm going to go watch the new "G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra" with my dad & stepmom...so I'll be sure to let you know if it sucks or not. In the meantime, have a great weekend everybody!!!
Please disregard the time this was posted. Well, I may be going to visit my mom in Cheyenne while she's stuck there for a month with work. Her birthday's coming up in two weeks...and rather than have her spend it alone, I may have to go visit and we'll probably swing by Denver again for a night. Maybe meet up with my cousin Ranae for a drink (since she's told me that she misses her downtown drinking buddy a few times). It's pretty open and in theory right now...but I'll keep you posted. Also, just keeping you posted...but the two jobs that I applied for here with the company, I was turned down, almost simultaneously. Why? Because I've only been with this department three months and other applicants have been for years...but they assured me that it was still a very tough decision based on my experience with other departments...and really look forward to having me apply for future positions. You know, the usual stuff...but hey, I'm still supremely confident in my abilities. Plenty of other opportunities here so I'd better just keep updating my resume. Last night, I also drove down to a little barbecue at my brother's to hang out with him, my buddy Isaiah and their respective wives...and that was a lot of fun. I was also pleased to know that my buddy Isaiah (who is basically my brother) feels the same way about my sister-in-law as I do...and frankly, it'd be best that she doesn't screw my brother over again. Sigh...so no other news in my life...so here's the news around the globe...
THE NIGHTMAN COMETH - Perhaps to a theater near you. Danny DeVito (Frank) and his co-stars on FX's "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" (quite possibly the greatest show in the history of television) are taking their sitcom on the road, with a live-theater adaptation of last season's musical finale, dubbed "The Nightman Cometh." Actor Rob McElhenney (Mac) said the cast performed some of the songs at the Troubadour club in Los Angeles. McElhenney said the show "sold out two nights in a matter of minutes and it went over really, really well, and Live Nation heard about it and approached us and said, `Hey, would you guys like to go on tour with this?'" Performances will be held September 15th in Boston, September 16th in New York, September 17th in Philadelphia (where it's always sunny), September 22nd in Seattle, September 24th in San Francisco and September 25th in Los Angeles. DeVito, whose credits include the role of Martini in the early '70s off-Broadway revival of "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest," said the cast had "totally, totally so much fun" doing "Nightman" in Los Angeles "with the fans and everybody that was there. It's been really great to get back there and have that feedback from the audience," the 64-year-old actor said Thursday. And, yes, DeVito sings, too. "He is to singing what Juice Newton was to ... juice," joked co-star Glenn Howerton (Dennis). My God, this may actually get me into a theatre without trickery. Damn it!!! When does Season 4 come out on DVD? September 13th? I want to watch "The Nightman Cometh" now. Did that sound enough like a bratty Baruka Salt? Anyway, we'll see if I can squander a trip out to one of these shows. I can't wait to walk out of a theatre production and say, "I thought the rape scene went pretty well."
Buy a MIG for $5 - Okay, so there are deals...and then there are DEALS!!! Russian investigators are probing the illegal sale of four fuselages of MiG-31 interceptor fighter jets that were sold off for as little as $5, although worth $3.7 million each, RIA news agency said on Thursday. Corruption is rife across Russia, with the country's President Dmitry Medvedev repeatedly pledging to launch crackdowns and repeatedly complaining this week about officials who demand bribes (when it should be the other way around). The sale came to light after an anti-corruption check was carried out to see whether regulations were followed during the sale of items from the Sokol Aircraft Construction plant located in the Russian Volga city of Nizhny Novgorod, RIA reported. "As a result, long-range supersonic interceptor aircraft that were not for sale were purchased by a dummy firm," prosecutors were quoted as saying by RIA. It did not say where the jet bodies had been found (it fell off a truck). So if you're looking to be Top Gun...but are on a bit of a budget...then Russia is the place for you. Sure, the jet fuel to fly it back to the United States is going to cost ya...and there may be more than a few questions by authorities when you enter American air space...but hey, just make sure that you have your license, registration and a legitimate bill of sale with you and it shouldn't be a big deal.
Record Wedding - A Chinese bride (not pictured) is hoping to enter the record books after getting married in a wedding dress with a train more than 2 km (1.2 miles) long trailing behind her. It took guests more than three hours to roll out the gown, complete with 9,999 silk red roses attached to it, in the northeastern province of Jilin, state news agency Xinhua said. "Both the length of the dress and the number silk roses pinned on the wedding dress can make history," the report quoted groom Zhao Peng as saying. Zhao, who has applied to Guinness World Records, said he was inspired after seeing a story on the previous record holder in Romania, where the dress measured just over 1.5 km. "I do not want a cliché wedding parade or banquet," he said. Bride Lin Rong "laughed and cried at the romantic gesture," Xinhua said. The dress cost around 40,000 yuan ($5,856), which prompted initial opposition to the plan from his family. "It is a waste of money in my opinion," said Zhao's mother. "Though I understand that he wants to show his love on the big day." Thanks for upping the ante, Zhao!!! Sure, my plan of proposing with a purple plastic spider ring may seem thoughtful and sweet...but now my future bride may want a wedding train over a mile long and have several thousand tulips woven into it...and a panda as a bridesmaid. I'm just kidding, that story's kind of sweet...and creepy all at the same time. I mean really...who wants a train over a mile long...unless it's hauling coal and other various fossil fuels across the Midwest? I think Zhao's mama was right. Waste of money...but a sweet gesture.
Hypnotist Stifled - Anyone who has ever seen a hypnotist (or a vampire movie) has had this thought...but please, don't act upon it. A South Korean hypnotist has been fined for stealing a kiss on a blind date with a woman he thought he had successfully put in a trance, news reports said Thursday. The 32-year-old man suggested hypnotizing his 27-year-old date during their first meeting arranged by a matchmaking agency in August last year, according to the Dong-a Ilbo newspaper and Yonhap news agency. The woman was eventually persuaded, and the hypnotist chanted: "Black hole! You will plunge deeper into a trance. You will feel thrilled all over your body and if my hand touches your body, you will feel intense pleasure." When the man, identified only by his surname, Park, thought his technique had worked, he went to kiss her...but the woman was fully alert, though her eyes were closed, and she pushed him away. Later, she filed accusations that he had sexually harassed her, the reports said. The Seoul Central District Court fined Park 3 MILLION WON (or roughly $2,453 here in the States). Quite the bill for a kiss...but having share a few meetings of the lips...and if it's shared with the right woman...than it can be worth every single won. Hopefully that was the case here...but I'm guessing probably not. Also, I'm thinking if he had done his whole "Black hole..." speech in a Spanish accent rather than Korean, that probably would've worked a little better. I'll have to remember that the next time I'm in a situation that called for it. Hmm...
Panda Update - My legacy is growing with every push. A giant panda at the San Diego Zoo gave birth to a cub the size of a stick of butter on Wednesday, her fifth cub born in the zoo since 1999. The public can view live video of the cub and its mother, Bai Yun, on the zoo's Web site. The sex of the mostly hairless, pink newborn, which was born around 5 a.m., is not known yet, said Dr. Ron Swaisgood of the zoo's Institute of Conservation Research. It will take about one month for the iconic black-and-white coloration of the giant panda to become visible, Swaisgood said. Its mother, Bai Yun, will care for the newborn by herself until she starts leaving the den regularly, at which time members of the zoo's giant panda team will step in briefly to check on the cub, he said. "She is a very experienced mother. She raised all of her other cubs until about 1.5 years, the natural age for separation. She's a real pro." Weighing in around 300 pounds, Bai Yun is about 1,000 times the size of her cub, who weighs around 4 ounces., the typical size of a baby panda. "Pandas give birth to what's called very 'altricial' cubs. That means they are very small and fragile. This cub would probably weigh about 4 ounces. It would be pink and hairless and completely dependent on the mother." Once again, my invention of Panda Porn is helping to save the species. It'd be nice to get some credit...but hey, when my grandkids can own a domesticated panda because the species has thrived and started reproducing like rabbits, then my legacy will live on. I'm cool with that.
Vick Update - So I assume you guys still remember former NFL quarterback Michael Vick. No? Okay, well he's the quarterback who was one of the most popular athletes in the world, the prototypical mobile quarterback of the future...and then he was the financier of an underground dogfighting ring...and spent the last two years in jail because of it. Well, he's out now...and looking for a job. The thing is...there are very few NFL teams even remotely interested in signing him. Not because he isn't well rested and has really had nothing better to do than work out (and wear suits to court dates) for the past two years...but because they're afraid of the backlash from animal rights groups like PETA. This is ridiculous to me. The man has served his time...and in my humble opinion, MUCH more than he should have served. If he's able to do his job and do it well, then he should be able to be hired without fear of persecution or attack from crazy hippies. Let's face it, there have been a lot worse things done by professional athletes...and recently...like say, vehicular manslaughter while under the influence of alcohol and getting less than a month in jail. Yeah, kinda pissed about it...but hey, what's done is done...and he's paid his dues. Now he's trying to get a job...and being turned down. Only a handful of teams haven't released public statements saying they'll have nothing to do with him...and he may have to resort to the new startup UFL league that I mentioned a few months ago (which may be a HUGE blessing to them) but I have some other suggestions. Now, the worst situation for him...is obviously going back to the Atlanta Falcons. Just a big PR thing there. There's also a few really sh*tty teams out there that should take an chance with this guy...like the Detroit Lions (seriously they can't get any worse...and their #1 draft pick isn't mobile enough or ready for the big time just yet) and the Oakland Raiders (though they have JaMarcus Russell who's supposed to be the same prototype...but their backup is 39-year old Jeff Garcia). The Eagles won't take a chance on him because...I'm not sure why but we Eagles fans did boo Santa Claus and there's probably a few pet lovers in the mix. My top suggestion though, Mr Vick. If you want to play in the NFL, play for the Washington Racists...er, Redskins. Why? Why not? Sure, there'll be more protesters than the few Native American groups left that are trying to get them to change their name. Their quarterback is lackluster. The rest of the team is pretty solid (barring injuries). The owner Daniel Snyder isn't afraid of making ballsy (and often stupid) decisions. Besides, it's the nation's capital. Big market. Hell, PETA might even be headquartered there (or in Vermont or something) and you can do a few PSA's to smooth things over, get a handshake photo-op with Obama, who I'm sure was a huge fan...and even a bigger fan of second chances, yeah it could really work out. However, what I expect to happen, is he'll sign with a UFL team for a contract worth about what I make in a year...and hopefully play for the Las Vegas Knights (still think that's the best name & I should get royalties for it) so that I can see him play a game or two when I'm down there. That'd be sweet. Regardless, Mister Vick, you did screw up...but you've paid your debt to society...and I for one think that you deserve a second chance. If I owned a team, I'd give you a tryout, regardless of what PETA has to say about it...but alas, I'm not a billionaire yet...and by the time that I am, you'll probably be retired by then. Best of luck to you, sir.That'll do it for tonight. Tomorrow morning (pending weather), I will be helping out a sweet elderly woman paint her house...and then who knows? Laundry, movies, swim in the pool, adventures, silly putty, who knows? Sunday, I'm going to go watch the new "G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra" with my dad & stepmom...so I'll be sure to let you know if it sucks or not. In the meantime, have a great weekend everybody!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment