The Eclectic Eccentric 2: The Kwyjibo Chronicles: Would You Like A Venetian Cupcake?

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Aside from the "Deuce Bigelow: European Gigolo" reference for the title, not much is going on with me. I just found out that I might be a missing heir to the throne of Ghana...but I'll hold off on the details until I can get this confirmed. Until then, here's some other news...

Yawning in Court - After back-to-back early work shifts, this next story just seems ridiculous. An Illinois judge has freed a man who had been in jail for three weeks after letting loose a loud yawn during a sentencing hearing. Thirty-three-year-old Clifton Williams of Richton Park was found in contempt of court and jailed on July 23rd after yawning in Will County Judge Daniel Rozak's court. He could have been jailed for six months. Williams was in court for his cousin's sentencing on a drug charge. A prosecutor in court at the time described the offending yawn as "loud and boisterous." As Williams stood before the bench in shackles on Thursday, the judge gave him a short lecture. He told Williams he wasn't in custody for simply yawning but for making a sound "that was offensive to the court." Hopefully, lesson learned. Hmm, so this guy got three weeks for making an offensive gesture in court...while others spend about three weeks in jail for vehicular manslaughter under the influence of alcohol. I guess it really does depend on who your lawyer is or something. Interesting. Not as interesting as a giant cupcake though...

World's Largest Cupcake - A 1,224-pound triple vanilla cupcake with pink frosting has set a record as the world's largest. The sugary behemoth was unveiled Saturday at the Woodward Dream Cruise classic cars event in Royal Oak, Michigan. A Guinness World Records adjudicator was on hand to certify the cupcake's girth. It was more than eight times the size of the previous record holder. The colossal cupcake took 12 hours to bake and included 800 eggs and 200 pounds each of sugar and flour. Slices of the cupcake were served in exchange for donations to the Susan G. Komen for the Cure breast cancer organization (together we can stop the sexy killer). Ryan Abood, owner of New Hampshire-based Gourmetgiftbaskets.com who made the cupcake, told the Detroit Free Press that it clocked in at an estimated 2 million calories...or roughly the USDA recommended calorie total for about three years...except it's mostly fat calories...so don't think that you could live off this thing for three years...even if it didn't go bad after a week or less. So yeah, donate to breast cancer research...and get a piece of the world's largest cupcake. Sounds like a sweet gig to me.

Cheap Weekend in Venice - Speaking of a sweet gig, here's a deal that even I could've afforded to partake in. Hundreds of vacationers struck lucky when they chanced upon a very special offer -- a mistake in a hotel booking system which offered a romantic four-star weekend in Italy's lagoon city of Venice for 1 cent. The offer, a tiny fraction of the Crowne Plaza Quarto D'Altino's normal rate of up to 150 Euros ($250) a night, was quickly withdrawn when staff realized the mistake, Italian state TV reported. In just a few hours, some 1,400 nights had been booked under the tariff, costing an estimated 90,000 Euros for the hotel, part of the Intercontinental Hotels Group, the world's largest chain, media reported. Staff at the hotel, some 25 km (16 miles) outside Venice, declined to comment. A spokeswoman for Intercontinental Hotels Group was not immediately available. Ouch! That has to hurt the hotel's bottom line...and I'm pretty sure that somebody lost a job with regards to that...but hey, it happens. Venice is, in my opinion, one of the five most beautiful cities in the world...and I've been to a LOT of cities in this world. I'd love to share all my pictures from that place...but my photo albums are locked away in a shed at the Fortress of Solitude...and I haven't scanned all of them. Perhaps one day I'll be able to share those with you...but you've all seen the movies and postcards. I'd love to go back there...but in a romantic setting, as opposed to the school trip that it was before. I'd highly recommend it...even at more than a penny a night.

Well, like I said, not much else going on with me. Probably watch a movie tonight, make a few bad jokes & laugh at them myself, plot out another bank robbery, solve this whole globic heating thing...or whatever, you know...try to take over the world in my own little way. So far, so good. I'll do something noteworthy in the near future. That's a promise y'all. Have a groovy night everybody!!! By the way, this is for me...