RIP Harold Ramis

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

 

Saturday, we stopped by the Oak Barrel Homebrew shop in Albany to get a few things for our next few batches. What will they be? Well, one is going to be our first beer entered in a competition (of course if we can stand drinking it but we’ve got a great record thus far). With the SF Homebrewers Guild, they’re having a competition of “American Beers” for around Memorial Day / 4^th of July timeframe… so we checked the beer types that will be permitted… and we’ve decided on… wait for it… a Honey Amber Ale. Devised a pretty damn fine recipe in theory… so we’ll see if we can execute it… and hopefully it turns out pretty damn well. We also got most of the stuff for our next batch after that… a Blood Orange Hefeweizen. The only snag… finding some f**king blood oranges. Time to hit up some farmers markets or something.

 

After that, we headed to Downtown Berkeley (never been) and had lunch and a few drinks at Jupiter. They make some of their own beers & had a few guest taps… but we stuck to their concoctions. The beer was pretty good… and the food was decent too. I can see that place probably gets pretty crazy in the weekend evenings but yeah, pretty nice place. Feel free to check it out if you’re in the area.

 

Sunday was Dizzy’s sister’s birthday up in Lincoln (near Sacramento) and she had recently moved out on her own… so we loaded up some furniture & knick-knacks and brought them up to her as a gift. Along the way though, we stopped by Heretic Brewing for a quick sampling… and of course we shared our growler of CHP (Chocolate Hazelnut Porter) with other at her birthday party… and our brew as well. They were all HUGE hits… but it’s free beer in cow country so… yeah, it was to be expected. We were there for about 7-8 hours before heading back… but it was great hanging with family & friends and just having a great ol’ time. There was even a fellow homebrewer up there that we kinda shot the sh*t with & talked shop… and yes, there was dancing & singing later in the evening. Good times!

 

Dizzy introduced me to a podcast called Nostalgia Critic. She did it a few weeks ago when he reviewed the epic movie classic “Face/Off” during Nicolas Cage Month… and when I found out that he has a regular weekly series that he’s been doing for a few years now… I had some backlogging to checkout. First off, it REALLY doesn’t help that he looks like The Wingman. Secondly, we REALLY have similar tastes in movies, humor & tend to get a little excited / frustrated when we can’t seem to find the right words in our vocabulary to express ourselves. Thirdly, in spite of that, he seems like a pretty nice guy… who occasionally talks sh*t on Hollywood but… let’s face it, hard not to these days. Fourthly, I’d like to think that my Movie Lists (that you haven’t seen steadily in a few years, sorry) would tend to be like his a bit… except that he has some pretty amazing skills at doing the weekly filming of his reviews & always to seem to have a lot of clever insights & perspectives. I can only imagine that it’s a full time job for him… as opposed to my occasional hobby. Anyway, the point that I’m getting at is… check his sh*t out at “That Guy With the Glasses” and check out a few videos. If you don’t like it… then I feel sorry for you. If you do like it, feel free to tell him that I sent ya. Here’s some news…

 

China Update - A Chinese man is attempting to make history by becoming the first person to sue his government over the country’s dangerous levels of air pollution. Li Guixin submitted a complaint to a district court in Hebei province, asking the Shijiazhuang Municipal Environmental Protection Bureau to "perform its duty to control air pollution according to the law,” according to the state-run Chinese language publication Yanzhao Metropolis Daily. On Tuesday, pollution levels in Beijing topped hazardous levels for the sixth straight day, according to the U.S. Embassy pollution monitor. The most recent ratings were literally “beyond index,” meaning they exceeded the already most extreme measurement levels of air pollution. The World Health Organization’s China representative told a briefing in Beijing on Monday that both the government and industries in China need to make a better effort to curb pollution levels across the country. “We have to put more pressure on all of the authorities and all the industry production to improve so we can actually reduce the very heavy pollution,” Bernhard Schwartlander said. The court has not yet decided whether to take up Li’s complaint, but he is still the first known individual in China who has attempted to sue the government over its failure to curb dramatically increasing levels of pollution… and therefore may be silenced in the very near future. Chinese law reportedly makes it difficult for nongovernmental organizations to sue the government or industries over pollution levels. The BBC said higher courts in the country have already rejected Li’s complaint but that the district court is currently deliberating whether or not to take up his case. In addition, Li is asking for compensation for residents who are affected by the pollution. "The reason that I'm proposing administrative compensation is to let every citizen see that amid this haze, we're the real victims," Li told the paper. "Besides the threat to our health, we've also suffered economic losses, and these losses should be borne by the government and the environmental departments.” In his complaint, Li said he has spent money on air purifiers, face masks and even a treadmill so that he can exercise while avoiding going outdoors during levels of extreme air pollution. “Li Guixin couldn’t take a walk or run like in the past as air quality worsened, and he also has to wear a mask now when he goes out,” said Li’s lawyer, Wu Yufen. “His case is relevant for everyone in our city.” Good luck sir! Having been to Beijing… I can confirm… it’s a f**king sh*tstorm of pollution. I was there the one day a year that it rains… so the air was kinda fresh for… about five minutes until the rain stopped… and then it was back to coughing and gagging. I mean… it’s only about 30 million people that live in Beijing so… I can see how it’s not a HUGE problem… but let’s face it. It’s been a highly publicized international issue since the Olympics six years ago… and it’s only getting worse so… again, good luck sir!

   

Marilyn Update - A massive statue of Marilyn Monroe that has turned heads for two years in Palm Springs is headed east. The Riverside Press-Enterprise says the 26-foot-tall, 34,000-pound statue (“That’s a HUGE b**ch!”) will be transported in April from California to Hamilton, N.J., where it will be part of an exhibit honoring its designer, Seward Johnson (dirtiest real name I’ve heard in a while… wait, is it pronounced “Soo-urd” or “Sea-word”). A going away party, open to the public, is planned for March 27. The statue of the "Some Like it Hot" star arrived in the desert resort city in 2012. The sculpture depicts Monroe trying to push down her billowing skirt in her memorable scene in the "Seven Year Itch." The "Forever Marilyn" statue, on loan from The Sculpture Foundation, was previously in Chicago. Palm Springs officials say they hope to eventually lure Marilyn back… but ugh… she’s dead, right? OH! They mean the statue? Oh okay… that’s… probably easier. By the way, is anybody else a little pissed that last year they made about 0.1% of the income that estate for the Megan Fox of the 1950’s did? Just… try not to think about it too much… and make sure there are no sharp objects nearby when/if you do. Anyway, road trip to Palm Springs? Cuz I’m sure not going to Jersey to see it…

 

Gold in Dem Hills - A Northern California couple out walking their dog on their property stumbled across a modern-day bonanza: $10 million in rare, mint-condition gold coins buried in the shadow of an old tree. Nearly all of the 1,427 coins, dating from 1847 to 1894, are in uncirculated, mint condition, said David Hall, co-founder of Professional Coin Grading Service of Santa Ana, which recently authenticated them. Although the face value of the gold pieces only adds up to more than $28,000, some of them are so rare that coin experts say they could fetch nearly $1 million apiece. "I don't like to say once-in-a-lifetime for anything, but you don't get an opportunity to handle this kind of material, a treasure like this, ever," said veteran numismatist Don Kagin, who is representing the finders. "It's like they found the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow." Kagin, whose family has been in the rare-coin business for 81 years, would say little about the couple other than that they are husband and wife, are middle-aged and have lived for several years on the rural property in California's Gold Country, where the coins were found. They have no idea who put them there, he said. The pair are choosing to remain anonymous, Kagin said, in part to avoid a renewed gold rush to their property by modern-day prospectors armed with metal detectors. They also don't want to be treated any differently, said David McCarthy, chief numismatist for Kagin Inc. of Tiburon. "Their concern was this would change the way everyone else would look at them, and they're pretty happy with the lifestyle they have today," he said. They plan to put most of the coins up for sale through Amazon while holding onto a few keepsakes. They'll use the money to pay off bills and quietly donate to local charities, Kagin said. Before they sell them, they are loaning some to the American Numismatic Association for its National Money Show, which opens Thursday in Atlanta. What makes their find particularly valuable, McCarthy said, is that almost all of the coins are in near-perfect condition. That means that whoever put them into the ground likely socked them away as soon as they were put into circulation. Because paper money was illegal in California until the 1870s, he added, it's extremely rare to find any coins from before that of such high quality. "It wasn't really until the 1880s that you start seeing coins struck in California that were kept in real high grades of preservation," he said. The coins, in $5, $10 and $20 denominations, were stored more or less in chronological order in six cans, McCarthy said, with the 1840s and 1850s pieces going into one can until it was filed, then new coins going into the next one and the next one after that. The dates and the method indicated that whoever put them there was using the ground as their personal bank and that they weren't swooped up all at once in a robbery. Although most of the coins were minted in San Francisco, one $5 gold piece came from as far away as Georgia. Kagin and McCarthy would say little about the couple's property or its ownership history, other than it's located in Gold Country, a sprawling, picturesque and still lightly populated section of north-central California that stretches along the western slope of the Sierra Nevada. The discovery of gold at Sutter's Mill, about 50 miles northeast of Sacramento, set off the California Gold Rush of 1848. The coins had been buried by a path the couple had walked for years. On the day they found them last spring, the woman had bent over to examine an old rusty can that erosion had caused to pop slightly out of the ground. "Don't be above bending over to check on a rusty can," Kagin said she told him. They were located on a section of the property the couple nicknamed Saddle Ridge, and Kagin is calling the find the Saddle Ridge Hoard. He believes it could be the largest such discovery in U.S. history. One of the largest previous finds of gold coins was $1 million worth uncovered by construction workers in Jackson, Tenn., in 1985. More than 400,000 silver dollars were found in the home of a Reno, Nev., man who died in 1974 and were later sold intact for $7.3 million. Gold coins and ingots said to be worth as much as $130 million were recovered in the 1980s from the wreck of the SS Central America. But historians knew roughly where that gold was because the ship went down off the coast of North Carolina during a hurricane in 1857. So there you go… what seem to be nice people walking their dog… stumble upon a sh*t ton of gold coins and now… I assume just get to continue living their dreams in Gold Country… and probably a BUNCH of trips around the world or Ferraris or whatever on top of it all. Not a bad little story… and queue the crazy wave of new-age prospectors (yes, I’m talking about them joining your dad, Dizzy!).

 

Anyway, that’ll do it for today… this weekend should be a lot of fun… what with a new brew to make (competition quality hopefully), Oktoberfest lager to transfer & our Winter Warmer being ready for tasting… on top of free time to do whatever the hell we want… yeah, it should be fun. Have a great weekend everybody!!!

Leaving Legacies

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Okay… I need to get something off my chest real quick. Amy Winehouse died last week at the age of 27. It’s absolutely tragic. However, if you’re surprised about this… you are a f**king moron. Oh… and if you don’t know, Amy is a singer who shot to popularity a few years ago with a few hits… that basically said that she was never going to quit doing drugs… but in a passionate soulful voice… and yeah, I like some of her music… but was it really something out of the ordinary? Adele sounds almost identical… and about a dozen others out there without even looking too hard. However, she was famous for her enormous drug addiction & stint in rehab, rocker lifestyle, you know the drill. The autopsy being inconclusive… I’m pretty sure that the government wasn’t out to kill Amy Winehouse for any reason other than they were tired of hearing about her (Now Biggie & 2Pac, I’m not going to even get into again). So what killed her? I’m not much of a betting man… but I’d bet just about everything I own & whatever I can get on loan on drug overdose leading to cardiac arrest. Like I said, it’s a truly tragic story as she had a lot of talent… but when I hear her mentioned in the same breath as other artists who died at 27 like Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, Kurt Cobain, Janis Joplin, and the list goes on… and talking about what the world would be like if they were still around… I just have to stop you right there. Allow me to explain.

Amy & Janis probably wouldn’t have gotten along if they weren’t separated by two generations. Why? Because they were so much alike. A few hit records, gritty soulful voices, mythical amounts of drugs, bad relationships, personal issues, both dead at 27 when their careers were taking off. What did they die of? You guessed it – drugs. Jimi Hendrix? He revolutionized rock & roll by playing the guitar like it was a percussion instrument & had a sound that has yet to be duplicated. Technically, he only had one Top 20 hit (google it) but he’s a rock GOD!!! Beyond Amy & Janis of course. What did he die of? Probably a drug overdose while he was balls deep in your grandma & your mother. Jim Morrison? The Doors were another major player in rock & roll with a combination of their unique sound & Jim’s lyrics… and of course his pretty boy image basically creating a perfect storm in the rock scene. What did he die of? Life finally caught up with him… and there’s still some mystery… but again, I’m guessing drugs… possibly balls deep in a French woman. Kurt Cobain? The man who is credited as king of the Seattle Sound / Grunge, again great new sound & lyrics that were both deep & ridiculous at the same time. What did he die of? He punched his own ticket out with a shotgun to the dome. Why? To be the next Van Gogh? Hemingway? Of course not… he was married to Courtney Love. I would’ve punched my own ticket too. Oh & I’m sure drugs were involved too. Do you sense a bit of a theme? Drugs are bad. Unless you want to have you midlife crisis before your 14th birthday, just don’t do them… especially in epic quantities while on tour. Okay… so just now that I differentiated the class of 27 year old dead rockers… allow me to further elaborate on another point.

What would the world be like if they didn’t die at 27? Well… I’m going to probably burst your bubble a bit. The world would probably be EXACTLY the same… except for a few things. Did rock & roll bring down the Berlin Wall? Regardless of what the Hoff might think, not really. It certainly wasn’t the work of the Rolling Stones or anything. So what would be different? Well, Jimi, Jim, & Janis would be approaching their 70’s… and my guess is that they wouldn’t be doing it gracefully (think Keith Richards & Ozzy). Would they still be dropping albums? They might still be touring. Hell, the Stones, the Beach Boys, Smokey Robinson, Eric Clapton, they’re all still going. I’m checking out Steve Miller Band this weekend (though they were over a decade later than these guys). Kurt would be in his 40’s… I mean… I’ve mentioned before thinking about Marilyn Monroe, James Dean, Elvis & all of these iconic figures and what they would be if they were still alive. Obviously the reality probably wouldn’t live up to the lasting image. However, don’t you think that Priscilla & Lisa Marie might have preferred having their now morbidly obese Elvis in their life to play with the grandkids than you keeping your image of the hip swinger at the Heartbreak Hotel? I don’t know… maybe it’s just me. We’ve all got our roles in this crazy game called Life… but like I said, there are lessons to be learned.

We all want to be remembered... for whatever reasons, preferably good ones. We all want to have a Legacy, our own little fingerprint on the world of the future... or at least for a few generations. Art, sculpture, the written word, these things are probably the most timeless that will be remembered long after your body rots away. Then again, in any given moment, none of that could influence you like a gentle touch, a kind word, perhaps a recollection of something you said years earlier, even random happenstance. The teaching of the Bible saying though shalt not steal may be forgotten if your family is starving. So what do we do? How are we remembered? My advice... don't worry about it. Live a good life, help others when they need it, teach through example, make smart decisions for the right reasons, make people happy, find what makes you happy, don't waste your time but take time to relax, and if along the way you find something your passionate about... then f**king go for it. Go for your dreams. Go all in if you must. Balls deep. You know... it's your Life, do what you want... but just remember that others care about you. These are just my suggestions. Legacy? Recognition? Glory? Jedi craves not these things. Besides, I already missed my window to go out in a blaze when I'm 27... but be damn sure that I'm keeping a close eye on Bubbles' crazy ass this next year.

Again, I have to emphasize that I’m not dissing on Amy or anybody else mentioned above (except maybe Courtney Love) because they all had talent & their deaths are tragic… but romanticizing their lives isn’t going to bring them back or save future generations of “too much too fast” rockers from repeating their actions. Just keep it real. There are lessons to be learned from these events. RIP Miss Winehouse!!!

Speaking of dreams, I saw a few movies the past few days that are kind of related. Have you ever seen the 1980's movie "Dreamscape" starring Dennis Quaid, Max Van Sydow & Christopher Plummer? No? Have you seen "Inception"? Cuz they're kinda similar. Basically, a psychic (Quaid) is recruited by an agency working with the government that has developed technology that can insert people into other people's dreams. However, the technology may be being utilized for evil purposes... and the President of the United States' life may be in jeopardy because of it. (Dun dun duuuh) Can the psychic save the day? All in all, the movie was pretty good... except the special effects were... pretty ridiculous... but you can blame it on the 80's. If you liked "Inception" then I'd say check it out.

Next up was "Sucker Punch" starring Emily Browning, Scott Glenn, Carla Gugino, Vanessa Hudgens and from director Zach Snyder ("300" & "Watchmen"). This is an adaptation of a graphic novel so it's going to seem cartoony... but that's kind of the point, right? A young woman named Baby Doll (Browning) is thrown into an asylum after a violent dispute with her stepfather left her little sister dead (his word vs. hers). There she meets up with four other girls... and then the lines of reality get REALLY fuzzy. While seated for a frontal lobotomy, she kind of goes into a daydream... where now she's apparently in a depression era speakeasy burlesque show kind of thing... and a prisoner there to some ruthless gangster types. However, she's on an epic journey within her mind to find a way out of the life & get free... with the help of her friends. It's kind of hard to explain... but yeah, there's a lot of dreaming & teleporting between realities in this one... but I actually kind of liked it. Nobody's going to win any awards really... but it's visually striking, great soundtrack (typical new artists doing covers of classics that you expect from Snyder movies), and it's really just for show. Besides... the lasting image from this movie isn't really the brilliant images... but the idea that we make our own reality. We choose how to perceive the outside world. If we think the world is beautiful and just, then it is. If we think it's a horrible sess pool, then it is. We control how we react to everything about this world and within our minds. It's actually a pretty amazing power. I don't want to get off on a Tony Robbins rant or anything... but it's absolutely true. You can basically make anything real if you just think of hard enough & put forth the effort. Anyway, enough about Baby Doll...

Baby Name Update - Jacob, Ethan and Michael were the top boy names in 2010, while Isabella, Sophia and Emma were favorites for girls but celebrities are exerting a big influence of what parents chose to name their newborns… and that scares the hell out of me. An analysis of 23 million page views of individual baby name pages on a baby names website shows that celebrities have a big impact on name selections. "Five years ago, I might have said that the biggest overarching factor was personal meaning, now the biggest factor is celebrities," said Pam Satran, the developer of the nameberry.com website. She added that the number of searches for a particular baby name is a good indicator of how people will behave when the time comes to actually name their child, as opposed to data from the U.S. Social Security Administration, which tracks the numbers of babies with a particular name (which would be a REAL number you could base something like this on). The name Pippa, she explained, came to sudden prominence after Pippa Middleton caught the world's attention when she was the maid of honor at the wedding of her sister Kate to Prince William in April. Little know fact: Her fully name is Pippa Potamus Longstocking-Middleton. Okay, that’s a lie… I think. "She seems to have the power of celebrity propelling her name and style," Satran added. Other unusual names also seem to have a celebrity link. Elula, the name of the daughter of actress Isla Fisher and actor-comedian Sasha Baron Cohen (REALLY? They’re a couple?), was not in the database in 2010 but is the 38th most searched for name in 2011 so far, largely because the celebrity couple chose to not publicize the name until well after the child's birth, according to Satran (suddenly my idea of Lelu isn’t so crazy). "There is a culture of the celebrity baby. The whole world goes on name watch. By not telling the name, it becomes a big news event." Other celebrity-inspired names this year include Hadley, from the bestselling book "The Paris Wife", and Mila, which Satran attributes to the success of actress Mila Kunis over the last year (but I attribute to Milla Jovovich). Another popular baby name is Flynn, which was chosen by actor Orlando Bloom and his Australian model wife Miranda Kerr for their son (oh, it’s a boy, I was way off). So yeah, just thought that I’d let you all know what… some website person thinks about trends in baby names… because everybody’s not naming their kids Elula… but they’re looking it up online. I’ll bet if you looked up the name "Porn" you’d find that it’s among the top three baby names searched… in a constant struggle with "Google" and "The". Anyway, into the world of real news…

Where the Streets are Paved with… Gold? - A city in northern Taiwan is trying the Midas touch to persuade reluctant residents to clean up after their canines: offering a chance to win gold bars to anyone handing in bags of doggy deposits. Starting from August 1st, dog owners and other residents of New Taipei City, bordering the capital Taipei, can hand in waste to government cleaning teams in exchange for tickets to a lucky draw. The prizes: three gold ingots worth T$60,000 ($2,100), T$18,000 and T$12,000. The number of draw tickets is unlimited, and the winners will be named in October, the city government said in a statement. "We are hoping the draw will attract a wide participation, especially as the gold price is rising," said New Taipei City Environmental Protection Department official Chen Chao-ming. The city will give free garbage bags to would-be collectors. It is also beefing up more conventional measures, including rewarding people for photographing dog owners leaving mess uncleaned, and stepping up its own poo patrols in dog haunts. That’s right… poo patrols. But it will be hoping for better results than the central city of Taichung saw in 2009, when its offer of T$100 shopping vouchers for each kg of excrement collected yielded little more than criticism and ridicule. Yes, there’s far less chance of that happening this time. The one question that I have is… how can you really tell if it’s man poo or Scooby doo? Some dogs are pretty large… and Asian people can be pretty small. What’s to stop them from just collecting massive quantities of human feces and turning it in? Just my thought… and there’s plenty more of jokes in this news reel… but yeah, can’t wait for this to happen in the states. I can see neighbors narcing on neighbors about their dogs leaving nuggets (yes, it’s a gold poo joke) on lawns… and a special unit within the police force lovingly referred to as “Doody Duty” for all the rookie officers, making their rounds and collecting freshly squeezed coils. Oh yes… that’s my idea of comedy gold right there. Good luck Taiwan!!!

Anyway, that'll do it for today. I've got to get packed for my Tahoe trip in the morning... of which I've already mentioned that I'm super excited for. I'll be sure to have plenty of pictures when I get back. Have a great weekend everybody!!!

So Money I Don't Even Know It

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

The past few days have been pretty chill. Played a little basketball at the gym, meeting a lot of people & starting to get my wind and some skills back. Really didn’t realize how average I became without constantly practicing like I did for half my life. Oh well, I’m sure it’s like riding a bike… and the height always helps to bail me out in some situations. “Oh man, you total caught me with a good pick. SWAT!!! Luckily I could recover with the go-go-gadget arms.” I don’t say that out loud obviously… because I’m not a prick. I was just painting a picture for you. Also met some cute ladies yesterday, sisters that we’ll call S&M (it’s their initials, get your mind out of the gutter), and they told me that they’d be cheering for me at my first rec game on Sunday. “Really? Wow, thanks!” “Well… our dad is on the team too… but we’ll be cheering for ya.” “Understood. Well it’s still appreciated.” If I was a little more certain of their ages… then again, I don’t want to be going out with the coach’s daughter or anything like that. Too reminiscent of the dream about bangin’ the coach’s wife… how do I remember this crazy stuff? Yet I forget little things all the time? Anyway, you heard it, first rec game in (sigh…) nearly a DECADE coming up on Sunday. Wish me luck!!!

I’m also starting to finalize travel plans for Tahoe next weekend, Utah in September, Vegas in November and then Utah again for Christmas. Tahoe is set & I’m going to be meeting up with my stepsister and her family, which is REALLY awesome. My niece apparently has missed me a bit… but she’ll grow out of it, I’m sure. Vegas is set, flights are bought, hotels are secured, Jackie D is on board of course, it’s going to be EPIC!!! The only snag is going to Utah in September for the family reunion. Boss Man denied my vacation over that time due to business need… but it actually may work out for the best… because my mama mentioned that she may be coming out the weekend of her birthday in August with the kids (and my brother) so I may just end up taking some time off to hang with them. Saves me a plane ticket & I still get to hang with the family, just not in the desert getting drunk with my hillbilly uncles, which is mildly disappointing but I’ll get over it.

On that note, I’m also trying to set up a doctor here in the area. The thing is… I don’t really care. Obviously I’m not in any dire medical need at this point in my life. I’ve had one physical in the past… seven years or so I think. I eat fairly well, work out, drink responsibly, check myself for lumps on my junk at least once a day (usually first thing in the morning & late at night), but I’m getting to that age where maybe I just need to keep an eye on things. You know… look for signs. Nothing so far… but I figure that I can at least establish a relationship with a physician here in San Francisco (since I plan on staying for a while) and then when it comes to those “awkward questions” then it won’t be so awkward. Besides, I don’t want to be one of the thousands of men each year that die from stubbornness by not getting regular check-ups… and then it’s too late. Since nobody else is going to check my junk for lumps, I figure this is the best route to take. Wish me luck!

Buying Sex & Crime - Men who pay for sex are more likely than men who do not pay for sex to commit a variety of offenses including violent crimes against women, according to research conducted in the Boston area. The study, released this week, was based on interviews with 202 men conducted by the nonprofit group Prostitution Research and Education (damn, how do I get on that research team?) and was led by Melissa Farley, a clinical psychologist and anti-prostitution activist (so no bias there?). Buyers and non-buyers of commercial sex from the Boston area were paired by age, education and ethnicity to compare their perceptions of women after voluntarily joining the study. About half the men paid for sex and the other half did not. Men who paid for sex were more likely to report having committed felonies and misdemeanors, including crimes related to violence against women and those related to substance abuse, assault and weapons, the study found. The study was designed, among other things, to test attitudes of men who buy sex. It found that as a group, they share certain attitudes and behavioral tendencies different from their non-buying peers (ugh… like the willingness to exchange money for sexual favors?). Almost three in four of the sex buyers reported they learned about sex from pornography, whereas only 54% of the non-buyers did so. The two groups also held significantly different attitudes regarding whether prostitution was consenting sex or exploitation. Men who bought sex were significantly less empathetic toward women working as prostitutes (DUH!!!). Two thirds of both groups concluded most women prostitutes had been lured, tricked or trafficked into the work. But sex buyers "seemed to justify their involvement in the sex industry by stating their belief ... that women in prostitution were intrinsically different from non-prostituting women," the study's authors said. The majority of both groups, 61% of sex buyers and 70% of non-buyers, currently had a wife or girlfriend. So… I’m not sure if this study really tells us anything. There was a tendency for buyers of sex to have more felonies on their record? No sh*t! Last I checked, prostitution was still illegal in the Boston area… and a felony. Also, they tend to have a different view of women. That’s kind of like saying alcoholics have a different view of vodka than clergymen… or pastry chefs have a different view of cakes from diabetics. I don’t know… I’m sure that there really is a correlation between willingness to break the law to acquire a sexual partner for a brief time and the willingness to break the law for any number of other reasons. I still want to know how I get the government grant money to conduct some of these studies though. Who do I have to know? Where do I have to go? I have theories (and stereotypes) that I just need to bring to the forefront of the scientific community.

GI Joe 2: Cobra Strikes – Like does anybody really want to see another GI Joe movie? Apparently somebody does. The first movie wasn’t total refuse by any means… but hey, just wait for the sequels now. Casting is underway though and "Rome," "Punisher: War Zone" and "Thor" actor Ray Stevenson has been cast as the villain Firefly in "G.I. Joe 2: Cobra Strikes" at Paramount Pictures says Heat Vision. Firefly is a member of the villainous Cobra Organization and is known as a saboteur, ninja master and explosives expert. Yes, a true jack of all trades. Stevenson will next be seen playing Porthos in Summit’s "The Three Musketeers". He joins a confirmed cast that includes Channing Tatum, Dwayne “THE ROCK” Johnson, Adrianne Palicki, Elodie Yung, the RZA (WU TANG!!!) and D.J. Cotrona. The Jon M. Chu-directed sequel begins shooting in Louisiana at the end of summer and hits cinemas August 2012… so keep your eyes out. Oh… and before I forget, Jon M Chu is the director who brought you “Step Up 2 Da Streets” & “Step Up 3D” so… yeah… you’ve been warned. Sadly I think another disaster may be heading towards Louisiana. Too soon? Eh, low expectations may lead to being pleasantly surprised. Too bad that my doppelganger Dennis Quaid hasn’t been asked to come back… but hey, too much eye candy may distract from the integrity of the project. I understand.

Captain Planet Movie – Yup, it’s exactly what you think it is. Cartoon Network has signed a development agreement with Angry Filmworks to develop a live-action feature film based on the environment-saving animated hero "Captain Planet and the Planeteers". The original series was about a group of young people (Planeteers) who combine their special powers (Earth, Wind, Fire, Water & Heart if I remember correctly) to summon Captain Planet, an environmental superhero, to battle the world's worst eco-villains. The show premiered in fall 1990 and ran for six seasons. Producers Don Murphy and Susan Montford now have exclusive rights to develop and package the property and advance it towards production. So what do you think? Will it be a G-rated straight-to-DVD movie? Probably… but it’s a good start to other similar properties being made. I’m not talking about… what I can only assume is a Superman backstory with a green skin pigmentation disorder (never really thought about Captain’s backstory before) but I’m talking about other captains throughout history (primarily the 80s & 90s when I was most impressionable) who have yet to get their movie deals. For example…

Cap’n Crunch – You all know and love the cereal that bears this man’s name… but do you know… the REAL Captain Cornelius M. Crunch of her Majesty’s Royal Navy? I think not. Yet it’s a story that must be told… a story of Love… Duty… Honor… and a Fortitude to stay steadfast, hardy, and dare I say crunchy… even in milk. The only problem is going to be working the early days as a proprietor of lady’s company in the early days and his notorious potty mouth into a PG-13 rating… but I can totally see Colin Firth makin’ the Cap’n happen.

Captain Nintendo – Does anybody else remember Captain N? I feel like it’s Conan & the Hanna-Barbarians cuz very few people remember it. Anyway, I remember it being about a gamer who had a special controller or something (back when it was four buttons – A, B, select, start) and he would put it on his belt buckle… and he could save the day using his gaming powers. You know… like getting Super Mario’s fireballs… or super jumping ability… and stuff like that. It could totally work… on acid.

Captain Power & the Soldiers of the Future – This is the granddaddy of them all. Allow me to paint a picture for you… using what I recall from the show’s introduction. Earth, 2147. The legacy of the Metal Wars, where man fought machines… and machines won. Bio-Dreads… monstrous creations that hunt down human survivors... and digitize them (aaaaah… that was somebody being digitized… but I digress). Volcania, center of the Bio-Dread Empire; stronghold and fortress of Lord Dread, feared ruler of this new order. But from the fires of the Metal Wars arose a new breed of warrior, born and trained to bring down Lord Dread and his Bio-Dread Empire. They were Soldiers of the Future!!! Mankind's last hope!!!

Their leader Captain Jonathan Power, master of the incredible Power Suits, which transform each soldier into a one-man attack force. Major Matthew 'Hawk' Masterson, fighter in the skies. Lieutenant Michael 'Tank' Ellis (played by my favorite bit actor of all time, Sven-Ole Thorsen), ground assault unit. Sergeant Robert 'Scout' Baker, espionage and communications… and Corporal Jennifer 'Pilot' Chase, tactical systems expert. Together they form the most powerful fighting force in Earth's history. Their creed? To protect all life. Their promise? To end Lord Dread's rule. Their name? (EXPLOSION!!!) Captain Power And The Soldiers Of The Future! TELL ME you wouldn’t rather see that then some namby pamby environmentalist show with some flying green guy… I rest my case. Oh, I know I’ve got skills AND passion when it to these kind of things… but nothing like this guy…

Tarantino Update – As usual… the more I hear about a Quentin Tarantino movie in the works… the more I get excited. Hard as steel and still getting harder!!! The latest update… Kevin Costner (“Dances with Wolves”) is in negotiations to join the cast of Quentin Tarantino's spaghetti western "Django Unchained" reports Deadline. Costner is in talks to play Ace Woody, the sadistic trainer of the male fighting slaves who entertain the white patrons of Candyland club and ranch, as well as the female slaves who are forced to be prostitutes. Ace pits the fighters against one another, and has little qualms about mistreating and even killing the slaves who don't measure up (still not as hated as Michael Vick though). Both Costner and Leonardo DiCaprio's role of Calvin Candie, owner of Candyland, are said to be as sadistic as Christoph Waltz's turn in "Inglorious Basterds". Waltz himself, along with Samuel L. Jackson, also star. Jamie Foxx will play the title character, a slave-turned-bounty hunter who must take on those villains to free his slave wife. Shooting kicks off in the early Fall. Oh God… I could cut glass with my nipples right now. DiCaprio & Costner as villains… and Jamie Foxx is coming to save the day… in the Old West… corsets… plus Christoph Waltz & Samuel L are going to be in it? Man, it’s going to be hard walking around with this nerd-rection for the next three years while they shoot this thing. Don’t act like you’re not impressed. What? There’s more???

Marilyn Update - A Spanish collector plans to auction what he claims is a newly discovered 8-mm version of a film purportedly showing Marilyn Monroe having sex when she was still an underage actress known as Norma Jean Baker (oh God, I think I’m going to pass out, blood has completely left my brain). A Marilyn Monroe expert, however, says the actress in the film is someone else, considerably heavier and less feminine than the legendary film star. Mmm… big boned Marilyn… giggidy!!! "That's not Marilyn. The chin is not the same, the lips are not the same, the teeth are not the same," said Scott Fortner, who has a sizeable collection of Monroe memorabilia, including a belt he said proves how much more petite she was. "Marilyn was a tiny little thing. And I know that for a fact. I own her clothing." Well, she may have lost a little weight once she became a movie star. That’s usually what happens... but the real question is… why are you trying to f**k this up for me? Collector Mikel Barsa said in an interview Wednesday that he wants at least $500,000 for the sexually explicit 6½-minute, grainy black-and-white film, which he says was made before 1947, when Monroe was not yet 21. He said it's an exact copy of a 16-mm film discovered more than a decade ago. Barsa brokered a sale of that film to a European magazine in 1997, which he said in turn sold some 600,000 copies before a collector bought the original 16-mm reel for $1.2 million (cha-ching!!!). Copies of that version are still circulating on the Internet. "People with romantic notions have denied that it's Marilyn Monroe, and have invented stories" to raise doubts about the film, Barsa said in his Buenos Aires office, which is lined with pictures from his days as a concert promoter. "This film shows the real Marilyn Monroe — it was only later that the studios discovered her and transformed her." The face of the woman in the film looks considerably different from the Monroe who emerged later as a star, but more similar to the Monroe seen in one of her first movies, 1949's "Love Happy," which shows the actress before she lost weight, added a beauty spot on her left cheek and became one of Hollywood's most enduring stars. Barsa said he has no idea how the two original copies ended up in the hands of the people who sought his help selling them, and he refused to identify any of the principals involved. He said that in the 1940s, sex films were often made using side-by-side 16-mm and 8-mm cameras, since audiences used both formats (you know, before the 60’s & 70’s revolutionized the smut game). The collector said that Mark Roesler of Indianapolis-based CMG Worldwide, which has managed the image and estate of Monroe, threatened to sue after the earlier version surfaced in 1997. Barsa said nothing ever came of it after the owners offered to sell the film to CMG (of course). Roesler didn't respond Wednesday to two emails and a phone call requesting comment. Barsa says he plans to auction the film himself August 7th at a memorabilia collectors fair that he has organized in Buenos Aires, and is hoping for publicity similar to the scandal he generated when he screened the 16-mm version at a similar fair in Madrid in 1997. News coverage of his auction is already creating another buzz on the Internet. His part of the deal is a 10% sales commission, he said. A variety of sexually explicit films and pictures have been attributed to Monroe over the years, fostering a long and unresolved debate. "In the Marilyn community, people have debated this for years and years and for the most part it's widely believed that this is not her," Fortner said. Still, even Fortner said Monroe's image changed considerably as she became a star — that she had some plastic surgery, learned how to hold her face differently in modeling school and adopted a mole on her left cheek. "I actually think it moved from time to time," Fortner said. Monroe died of an overdose of sleeping pills in 1962 at 36 years old… which oddly enough means she’d be in her mid-eighties if she were still alive. Think about that for a moment. Anyway, over sixty years after it was made, an alleged sex tape of Marilyn is out. It might be worth a gander… but hey, there’s money in smut. And celebrity hype of smut. It may be interesting to see how this works out… but hey, I’m already well on my way to another nerdgasm.

Anyway, that’ll do it for today. Tomorrow is a Blues & BBQ Festival in Redwood City, so I might go check that out… and then Sunday is Game Day. Hopefully I’ll do alright & I’m basically where I’m not looking to completely dominate the game… but rather just help out the team in any way that I can & not embarrass myself. I should be able to manage that. I’ll let you know the stats or something if I can keep track… but the final score is the important part. Have a great weekend everybody!!!

TECH N9NE!!!

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Saturday was a day of running around town in the mornings, working out at the gym for about an hour or so, kicking back & relaxing in the afternoon, then going out for a few drinks & pool at The Final Final. Not a whole lot to brag about by any means. Although I did watch the first few episodes of the HBO series “Treme” starring Steve Zahn & John Goodman. The story centers around the people who came back to rebuild New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina… mainly musicians. It’s actually quite gripping and really gets into the heart & soul of the people of New Orleans… and how they were basically f**ked over (and still so) by the government. My favorite character thus far is the English Professor at Tulane (Goodman) who is basically saying everything that the people of the city are thinking… which I suggest you visit the city a few times & watch the show to get the full impact of it. There’s of course drama infused into the story… as there’s a lot of drama in real life… and a tale of corruption… and on & on… but I’m only a few episodes in so I obviously don’t have the full story yet. I can’t wait to check it out though. The show also just reinstills in me that I love the music, the food & the people of that city… and it makes me want to go back (probably not to move though)… but they really need help in setting their infrastructure back up… and not just in the touristy French Quarter. Come on! You did it for New York when they had a major disaster. That’s all I’m saying.

I also watched “Jackass 3.5” which is more of the same… basically the extra stuff from Jackass 3 that I watched a few days ago that didn’t make the movie… but then I read that one of the stars passed away. "Jackass" star Ryan Dunn, who along with his cast mates made Americans cringe and snicker through vulgar stunts in their multimillion-dollar TV and movie franchise, was killed early Monday in a fiery car crash. He was 34. Dunn, a daredevil who gained notoriety for diving into a sewage tank and performing other unsavory stunts, was driving his 2007 Porsche in suburban Philadelphia when it careered off the road, flipped over a guardrail and crashed into the woods before bursting into flames. A passenger was also killed, and speed may have been a factor in the crash, West Goshen Township police said. The force of impact shattered the vehicle into several twisted and blackened pieces, leaving the Porsche 911 GT3 unrecognizable except for a door that was thrown from the crash and not incinerated. A 100-foot-long tire skid marked where the car left the roadway. Both Dunn and his passenger were severely burned. Police said they were able to identify Dunn through his tattoos and hair, but the identity of his passenger was still unknown. Dunn appeared on MTV shows "Jackass" and "Viva La Bam" and the three "Jackass" big-screen adaptations. He also was the star of his own MTV show, "Homewrecker," and just began hosting the show "Proving Ground" on the G4 cable network. G4 spokesman Dave Welch said "Proving Ground," which premiered June 11 with the second episode slated to air Tuesday, was being pulled for now until the network can discuss the show's future. Dunn's longtime friend and fellow "Jackass" daredevil Johnny Knoxville tweeted on Monday afternoon, "Today I lost my brother Ryan Dunn. My heart goes out to his family and his beloved Angie. RIP Ryan, I love you buddy." Dunn also starred in the yet-to-be-released film "Living Will." The film's website describes Dunn's character as a "party bum slacker (who) returns from the dead as a mischievous and perverted ghost." In a statement, MTV praised Dunn's humor and enthusiasm and said he would be missed. "We are devastated by the tragic loss of Ryan Dunn — a beloved member of the MTV family for more than a decade," said Van Toffler, resident of MTV Networks Music/Films Group. "The Jackass brotherhood will never be the same." Dunn was born in Ohio and moved at age 15 to Pennsylvania, where he met Bam Margera on his first day of high school, according to a biography posted on his website. Dunn, Margera, Christopher Raab (known as Raab Himself) and Brandon DiCamillo, under the moniker CKY for "Camp Kill Yourself," started making videos that featured them skateboarding and performing stunts. Dunn was working as a welder and at a gas station when Knoxville, a friend of Margera's through the skateboarding circuit, asked the crew to allow their videos to be part of the series "Jackass," which became a hit on MTV and ran from 2000 to 2002. Perhaps his most famous stunt, in 2002's "Jackass: The Movie," involved inserting a toy car into his rectum and going to an emergency room, where he made up a story that he was in mysterious pain after passing out at a fraternity party (oh yeah… this is the kind of stuff you’d see if you watched these movies… it’s basically snuff but without the sexy edge to it). Dunn's X-ray from the hospital became a popular T-shirt for "Jackass" fans. That first movie, filmed on a budget of just $5 million, went on to make more than $60 million in the United States alone. The most recent installment, released in 3-D in 2010, brought in $50 million on its opening weekend alone (yes, that’s why they’re still being made… because it costs almost nothing to do something really dangerous & stupid… but people will pay to see it). In a 2000 stunt, he dived into a tank at a raw sewage plant wearing flippers, a mask and a snorkel. A few hours before the 3 a.m. crash, Dunn tweeted a picture of himself drinking with two friends (hmm… still think it was just speed that had something to do with the crash?). The photo has since been removed. Autopsies were to be conducted Monday, though it was unclear when the results would be released. Even when a man like Mr. Dunn lived his life to the fullest, was surrounded by friends, gained wealth & fame while having fun with his buddies, had a loving family, it’s still a tragic story in the end… as it usually is. He will truly be missed. The really messed up thing is… even though it was a horrible gruesome death… going out in a blaze of glory in a fiery car crash like James Dean or Dale Sr or something… you kind of expected something more elaborate than just another drunk driver given how he lived. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it literally hundreds of times on this blog and thousands in real life – Don’t Drink and Drive!!! I don’t care if doing stupid, dangerous sh*t is what got you famous! You have family & friends that care about you. Think about them every time you reach for your keys… especially if one of them is in the passenger seat next to you. Tragic tale of caution we should all learn from. Sorry for the bummer story… but it’s important to know.

Sunday, I did laundry, cleaning up around the house, finally putting up a few pictures that the roommates approve of (James Dean & Norma Jean), worked out for a few hours, then met up with Bubbles to go see TECH N9NE!!! LIVE & IN CONCERT!!! For those of you who are not familiar with the #1 Independent Hip-Hop Artist of all time, his sound is pretty unique. It’s a mix of hip-hop with a little rock & roll edge to it… kinda gritty at some times… great dance club / pop appeal with others… but always pretty good, even if it’s not my particular cup of tea… or rather at most times… but there’s definitely times when I just want to throw on some Tech, say f**k the world & rock out with my cock out. That’s just how it is. You may have heard a few singles like “I’m a Playa” (set to Falco’s “Amadeus”) and “Jellysicle” with E-40 but the VAST majority of his stuff is not exactly radio friendly… and like I said, he’s independent. Anyway, check him out on iTunes or something.

The concert was AMAZING!!! There were three hours of concert & six opening acts… BEFORE Tech even hit the stage. Most of the opening acts were even pretty good. First up was Kung Fu Vampire… more than a pretty name. They were kind of a rock/rap mix as well. Next was Stevie Stone, who often accompanies on a lot of Tech’s tracks, so most hip-hop. Third was Mayday, the first band signed by Tech’s label Strange Records. They were pretty good rock / techno music with a little hip-hop & bongos thrown in. Fourth was Jay Rock, who was an LA rapper… and the best part of his act was the references to other LA rappers. Fifth & sixth were Kutt Calhoun & Kriss Kaliko who accompany many of Tech’s tracks too. Like I said, they were all pretty good… but they’re not why we showed up…

TECH N9NE finally came onto the stage & rocked the house for about an hour… and his light setup was a lot better than previous concerts in Utah… but that’s what happens when you’re independent & get all the money yourself, you can reinvest in your shows & not those of future prospects that you won’t see a dime of, it just makes business sense. Anyway, the show as amazing!!! Headed home with a bit of a buzz (beer & mysterious fog in the air) and woke up Monday morning with my head ringing… but probably just from the four hours of audio bombardment more than anything. Great show! Would definitely do it again… and highly recommend to others when he comes to your town. Best part… it’s actually affordable. Best part… I DIDN’T drink & drive!!! Anyway, now for some more… uplifting news…

Super Condom - A British medical company has had its erection-enhancing condom recommended for European approval. That’s right… an erection ENHANCING condom. Got your attention yet? Futura Medical said its CSD500 condom -- licensed to pharmaceutical firm Reckitt Benckiser for sale under its Durex brand has gel in its tip that dilates the arteries and increases blood flow to the penis, resulting in a firmer and bigger erection (and possible lose of blood flow to the extremities like the brain… but that’s what’ll be tested). Futura said on Monday products usually took about a month to receive CE mark certification after recommendation. The mark would enable the condom to be sold in 29 European territories and a number of other non-European countries. Futura said on its website that the CSD500 will be a condom used by healthy men to help maintain a firmer erection during intercourse whilst wearing a condom. In a double blind clinical study (how the f**k do I get to be a guinea pig in that experiment?) comparing CSD500 against a standard condom co-sponsored by Futura, of those who expressed a preference, a significant proportion of both men and women reported improvements in the firmness of the man's erection during intercourse when using CSD500, compared against a standard condom, the company said. Furthermore, of those who expressed a preference, a significant proportion of both men and women also felt that CSD500 increased the penis size and a significant proportion of women reported a longer lasting sexual experience. That’s right, ladies & gentlemen… the game just changed… and it’s coming to a store near you. Better start doing some stretches, ladies… by the way... it's been a while since I had a good sexbot update, hasn't it? I'd better check the trade journals.

Is It Sexist? – From time to time… I like to look at a controversial topic… and ask “Is it sexist? Racist? Or some other kind of –ist?” For example, would anybody really give two sh*ts about Casey Anthony’s crazy ass if she wasn’t an attractive woman? Hell no, she would’ve fried a long time ago like the hundreds of crazy mothers who killed their kids over the years… but she gets to show her pouty lips and soulless eyes on constant streaming television as they await the execution date. Anyway, that’s just one example. Next up - Badminton's controversial 'skirt rule' has not been scrapped but is merely in limbo while officials wait for more consultation after initial feedback deemed it sexist, the governing body told Reuters Thursday. A new Badminton World Federation (BWF) code had required all female players to wear skirts or dresses in major tournaments in order to "to ensure attractive presentation of badminton," but the rule has not been implemented after an outcry. That’s right… that was a QUOTE about “attractive presentation” for a sport. Usually they’re a LOT better at covering the language or BS’ing a reason than saying that they want the players to be hot. This week's Singapore Open had been slated as the first tournament to implement the rule, but marketing manager for the BWF's Super Series S.Selvam said a decision was in limbo. "The rule has been deferred until we get another proposal from the women's commission," Selvam said at the city state's Indoor Stadium. "There was a lot of feedback from players. But a lot of the feedback actually came from the public saying that it was too sexist," he continued… probably from the female public is my guess… wait, is THAT sexist? Even if it’s still true? The legislation -- that stipulates female players must wear a skirt during competition even if they also wear shorts -- is to be reassessed in December. "What was decided was to get the women's commission and the ethnic scholarship to gather feedback from manufacturers, players and other interested parties, and to come up with another proposal for the best dress code for female and male players," Selvam added.

So now I ask you… is requiring female badminton players to wear skirts sexist? Now… I encourage you to think it through before you respond. Who am I kidding? You’re not going to respond. Nobody reads this dribble… but I’ll just say it like this… Sex sells. Period. Studies, books, even my silly ass blog, everybody’s written about it and knows it to the deepest, most instinctual center of their core. It’s just the way it is. Even in sports. Name five female tennis players. Even all time. Go for it. I’ll bet you one of them is Anna Kournikova… and she’s never been in the top 5 at any given time. God knows I watch women’s tennis for the sounds more than anything. Giggidy! If Danica Patrick were Daniel Patrick… and Dan hadn’t won anything ever… would he even have a job as a professional driver? Probably not. Is that sexist? Yeah. Is it wrong that the average benchwarmer’s salary in the NBA could easily finance SEVERAL TEAMS in the WNBA? That’s the market. Is anybody even REALLY watching women’s badminton? I don’t even see that on ESPN2 midday Wednesday and I’ve seen poker, spelling bees & scrabble on that channel posed off as sports. Okay… so what’s my point? Who knows? I’m just appalled that they worded it that way. I know I’ve been in jobs where there were guidelines about personal appearance, appropriate attire / uniforms, adornment & from an HR standpoint, it wasn’t sexist… at least that’s what the documents said. Maybe it was just lost in translation or worded badly… but is it sexist? Probably… but who really cares? I’d play badminton all natural if the price was right. Brings a whole new meaning to the term “shuttlecock” now doesn’t it?

Marilyn Update - The Marilyn Monroe dress that flirted revealingly with a gust of New York subway air in "The Seven Year Itch" fetched $4.6 million at an auction of film memorabilia. A more sedate outfit worn by Audrey Hepburn in the Ascot race scene of "My Fair Lady" drew a $3.7 million bid at the sale of nearly 600 Hollywood costumes and props collected by film star Debbie Reynolds. The buyers, who were not identified, also paid a sum to the auction house and other fees, according to auction publicity firm Nancy Seltzer & Associates. That brought the total price to more than $5.6 million for the Monroe costume and $4.5 million for the black-and-white gown worn by Hepburn. The auction house, Profiles in History, was calculating the sale's final tally Monday. In filmmaker Billy Wilder's "The Seven Year Itch," Monroe's character cooled off by standing over a subway grate to catch the breeze as a train sped underneath — which sent her dress north and exposed a shocking amount of leg and undergarment for a 1955 movie (or a disappointing amount by today’s standards). Modest but still impressive bids at Saturday's auction in Beverly Hills and online included $140,000 for a guitar used by Julie Andrews in "The Sound of Music" and $100,000 for a "Cleopatra" headdress that adorned Elizabeth Taylor. Reynolds, 79, started collecting four decades ago at auctions held by major film studios, including MGM and Fox, and eventually acquired 3,500-plus items. The auction meant the end of a dream for Reynolds, who starred as a teenager with Gene Kelly in "Singin' in the Rain" and was an Oscar nominee for "The Unsinkable Molly Brown." Reynolds' combined casino-hotel and memorabilia museum in Las Vegas closed and she had planned to relocate the museum to Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. That’s right… there was a museum like that in Vegas the WHOLE TIME and you didn’t know about it either. Last year, Reynolds' son, Todd Fisher, said the project had to file for bankruptcy protection and the collection would be sold to satisfy creditors. Reynolds, who still performs in nightclubs and theaters and remains the petite, pretty blonde who captured Kelly's heart in their 1952 musical, expressed regret in an interview last week. But she looked on the bright side as well. "I won't have so many children to take care of," she said, "so I won't have quite so much responsibility and I can rest a little more." More items are to be auctioned in December… so get your wallets ready. Mmm… what could possibly take my mind off Marilyn Monroe in that dress?

WONDER WOMAN!!! – So why haven’t they made a Wonder Woman movie yet? Many reasons… mostly involving my earlier discussion about women’s badminton, I’m sure… but seriously, who knows? The latest gossip is that "Drive" and "Bronson" director Nicolas Winding Refn has previously spoken about his desire to direct a "Wonder Woman" movie. Now, he is reportedly keen on getting "Mad Men" actress Christina Hendricks to play the role (mmm… LOVE a curvy full-figured woman). "If I get to do it, she's going to be it" Refn told Vulture this week (and pretty much eliminating any slim chance he had at being director of the film). Hendricks herself last year indicated she'd be game, telling Rachel Ray "I've been wanting to wear that outfit my whole life (really? Why wait?)! I'd love to [do it]. That would be such fun!." The chances of such a film being made however remain super slim though… allegedly because of the disappointing results for "Green Lantern" and the failed David E. Kelley "Wonder Woman" pilot that nobody saw. How so? Was anybody really expecting those to be the greatest movie & TV series ever made? I doubt it… but hey, we are in a recession… and I’d hate for her “Mad Men” character to be written out because of a movie deal. Then again… if I had to take seeing her occasionally in a tight-fitting conservative 1960’s office dress… or gold-guilded panties, corset, tiara & bracelets with thigh high boots… I think you know which I would pick… every time. Now… it’s showtime…

Whew… after that… I’m just really excited that in less than 48 hours… I will be in Utah will my family & friends there. It’s going to be an EPIC weekend!!! You have a great weekend as well!!! Maybe I’ll see ya during it…

Beware La Barbie!!!

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Work’s busy. That is all. Back to Rhonda in the news center…

Barbie Update – Why am I showing a picture of a dude when this is a Barbie update? The Texas-born fugitive known as "the Barbie" grinned Tuesday as police paraded him in handcuffs and described his alleged life of luxury and savagery — cut short when he became the third suspected drug lord to fall in Mexico in the past 10 months in a coup for President Felipe Calderon's war on cartels. Edgar Valdez Villarreal, is a former Texas high school football player who allegedly jumped into the world of Mexican drug cartels and gradually rose through the ranks. He got his improbable nickname for his green eyes and fair complexion, is wanted in the U.S. for allegedly smuggling tons of cocaine. In Mexico, he is blamed for a brutal turf war that has included bodies hung from bridges, decapitations and shootouts as he and a rival fought for control of the divided Beltran Leyva cartel. As he was displayed to reporters on Tuesday, he still wore the green polo shirt in which he was captured the day before. He shifted his weight and smiled often as police described a high-flying and violent life. Security forces had been closing in on Valdez for over a year. Their biggest breakthrough was the death of his boss, Arturo Beltran Leyva, in a December shootout with marines, Federal Police Commissioner Facundo Rosas said at the news conference. The arrest of several of Valdez' allies, U.S. intelligence tips and other sources provided evidence that Valdez had left his home of 10 years in the resort of Acapulco — where he owned at least one posh bar that was raided in 2009 — to lead a lower-profile life in wealthy neighborhoods of Mexico City, Rosas said. Mexican security officials began getting hits on Valdez's whereabouts six weeks ago and approached U.S. officials for help, according to U.S. law enforcement officials in Washington, who spoke on condition of anonymity because of the sensitivity of the case They said intelligence from U.S. agents helped lead to his arrest. "We were on his heels for the last six weeks, receiving tips, but Mexican law enforcement would show up and they would miss him. He was feeling the heat of Mexican law enforcement," one of the officials said. Mexican federal police nearly nabbed Valdez during a raid in an upscale neighborhood of the Mexican capital on Aug. 8. He got away, Rosas said, but police found clues there that led them to a woody weekend getaway just outside the city where he was finally caught Tuesday by an elite squad of federal police trained abroad. His U.S. lawyer, Kent Schaffer, said Valdez's girlfriend and her mother were both arrested in recent Mexican operations, he said. "This has been going on for quite a while. They raided several of his homes. They detained his girlfriend's mother at one of his homes about three weeks ago," Schaffer told The Associated Press. "So you figure it's just a matter of a time." Valdez and four other people — described by police as Valdez's inner security circle — were pulling into the driveway when they were arrested, Rosas said in an interview with MVS radio. Although he had two guns and a grenade launcher (wow), Valdez didn't resist because police "never gave him the opportunity," Facundo said. Another of his associates with killed during a shootout with police outside a shopping mall in the city. Facundo said Valdez was found with three unostentatious compact cars — evidence that he had tried to lay low as security forces hunted him. Calderon called Valdez "one of the most-wanted criminals in Mexico and abroad" in a Tweet. He vowed that authorities will continue to chase the rest of his gang. Valdez, 37, was charged in May in U.S. District Court in Atlanta with distributing thousands of pounds of cocaine from Mexico to the eastern U.S. from 2004 to 2006. U.S. authorities had offered a reward of up to $2 million for information leading to his capture, and the Mexican government offered a similar amount. But Facundo said security forces nabbed Valdez on their own, and there would be no reward. Mexican authorities had not decided on any extradition plans. Schaffer said Valdez is an illegal immigrant in Mexico and could be deported (see? They’d do the same thing to us). "He was born and raised in Texas. His family's here. There's no Mexican citizenship at all," Schaffer told The Associated Press. "Mexico may not be so eager to hand him over, but it would be the smartest thing for Mexico to do politically." Facundo said deportation was a possibility but that police would prefer that he first face justice in Mexico for several dozen murders he is suspected to be behind. However, he said the final decision would be up to the federal Attorney General's Office. Schaffer said Valdez' safety could be compromised in a Mexican prison. "I'm sure there's a whole lot of people that are hoping that he would have been killed rather than captured," he said. Anyway, enough about living the life of drug-bought luxury, what would it be like to be known as “La Barbie” in a Mexican drug cartel. You have to be tough with a nickname like that. It’s not quite as menacing as… even something like “El Guapo” or “El Tortuga” or… “El Mariachi” or something? “They call him El. It means ‘The” in Spanish.” Oh… can’t wait for Danny Trejo to get a chance to star in “Machete”, it’s been far too long in the making. Where was I? Oh yeah, coming soon, Matt Damon is… La Barbie.

Hair Worth A Million – Something else fairly effeminate from a normally masculine district, American football star Troy Polamalu has a price on his head -- with an anti-dandruff shampoo brand taking out a $1 million insurance policy on his trademark mane of black ringlets (he’s Samoan so it’s a sign of manhood). Head & Shoulders said on Monday it had taken a $1 million Lloyd's of London policy on the locks of Pittsburgh Steelers' Polamalu, the Super Bowl-winning safety. Polamalu, 29, who was born in the United States but is of Samoan descent, says he has not cut his hair since 2000. He has been a spokesman for the Procter & Gamble Co brand for two years (with some of the most… let’s say, sexually questionable commercials of all time). "They've created the first ever insurance policy to protect his iconic mane for the entire NFL season," Procter & Gamble said in a statement. Polamalu, a five-time Pro Bowl selection, suffered some injuries last year but is back in the game and expected to be the backbone of his side's defense this season. His hair has come under attack on the field before, with Larry Johnson of the Chiefs tackling Polamalu by the hair in a 2006 game, but no details were given of exactly what damage to his hair would trigger a claim on the insurance policy. Split ends? Perhaps the frozen tundra of Lambeau Field effecting his shimmer? Just an interesting little bit of sports & fashion coming together. You’re welcome, ladies.

Marilyn Update – So… remember about a month ago when I was joking about a distinguished English actress like Judi Dench reading the Kama Sutra book-on-tape? Well, this story's pretty close too. Dame Judi Dench has signed on to the Marilyn Monroe semi-biopic "My Week With Marilyn" reports The Daily Mail. The story is based on a diary by Colin Clark, a young actor who worked for Laurence Olivier when the veteran actor shepherded Marilyn Monroe around London while she shot "The Prince and the Showgirl". Kenneth Branagh (“Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein”) and Michelle Williams (“Shutter Island”) are set to play Olivier and Monroe respectively, and Simon Curtis directs the project. Dench would play actress Sybil Thorndike, a fellow Dame who played the dowager queen in the film and one of the few people on the set who understood and got on with Monroe (whoa, wait, what? Oh, “got on” as in “got along” not “got it on” with Monroe). Dench will start shooting her scenes on September 20th, two weeks prior to the main body of the shoot. This is being done to accommodate Dench’s commitment to James Madden’s "The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel", which has nothing to do with “The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas” so I’m told. So yeah… be careful what you wish for, right?

Cusack as Poe - John Cusack (“2012” & “1408”) has revealed through his Twitter account that he's set to play legendary writer Edgar Allan Poe. "officiali- will play edgar allen poe in fall-a-film called the raven, send any poe- gold - my way as i begin this journey into the abyss" says the tweet. By the way, f**king tweets, am I right? Have some respect for grammar and penmanship. The only excuse is if he sent that while driving down the PCH with a hooker snorting coke off his grosse point blanke. Anyway, at last report, James McTeigue ("V for Vendetta") would direct the project which re-imagines the author as something of a mid-19th century profiler who joins the hunt for a serial killer whose murders are inspired by his stories (as opposed to the incredibly depressing story of the writer’s life). The film's setting takes place during the final week leading up to Poe's death in 1849, during which the author essentially vanished for several days with no account of his whereabouts (like all superheroes). He was found wandering the streets of Baltimore in great distress and repeating the name Reynolds (Burt?) before dying several days later in hospital. Hannah Shakespeare (I’m assuming no relation to Billy Shakespeare) and Ben Livingston penned the screenplay. Sounds like something I would watch. Big fan of the writings of Poe… and Cusack rarely makes me long for Death’s sweet embrace… so yeah, good luck with that sir.

That’ll do it for today. Not a whole lot going on for the next few days, but that’s good because I need to catch up on chores. This weekend should be pretty fun though with the Rib Cook-Off and Bubbles’ visit… and then the following weekend should be EPIC as I go back to the homeland to check on the Compound… er, family back in Utah. Have a great day everybody!!!