Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Beware La Barbie!!!

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Work’s busy. That is all. Back to Rhonda in the news center…

Barbie Update – Why am I showing a picture of a dude when this is a Barbie update? The Texas-born fugitive known as "the Barbie" grinned Tuesday as police paraded him in handcuffs and described his alleged life of luxury and savagery — cut short when he became the third suspected drug lord to fall in Mexico in the past 10 months in a coup for President Felipe Calderon's war on cartels. Edgar Valdez Villarreal, is a former Texas high school football player who allegedly jumped into the world of Mexican drug cartels and gradually rose through the ranks. He got his improbable nickname for his green eyes and fair complexion, is wanted in the U.S. for allegedly smuggling tons of cocaine. In Mexico, he is blamed for a brutal turf war that has included bodies hung from bridges, decapitations and shootouts as he and a rival fought for control of the divided Beltran Leyva cartel. As he was displayed to reporters on Tuesday, he still wore the green polo shirt in which he was captured the day before. He shifted his weight and smiled often as police described a high-flying and violent life. Security forces had been closing in on Valdez for over a year. Their biggest breakthrough was the death of his boss, Arturo Beltran Leyva, in a December shootout with marines, Federal Police Commissioner Facundo Rosas said at the news conference. The arrest of several of Valdez' allies, U.S. intelligence tips and other sources provided evidence that Valdez had left his home of 10 years in the resort of Acapulco — where he owned at least one posh bar that was raided in 2009 — to lead a lower-profile life in wealthy neighborhoods of Mexico City, Rosas said. Mexican security officials began getting hits on Valdez's whereabouts six weeks ago and approached U.S. officials for help, according to U.S. law enforcement officials in Washington, who spoke on condition of anonymity because of the sensitivity of the case They said intelligence from U.S. agents helped lead to his arrest. "We were on his heels for the last six weeks, receiving tips, but Mexican law enforcement would show up and they would miss him. He was feeling the heat of Mexican law enforcement," one of the officials said. Mexican federal police nearly nabbed Valdez during a raid in an upscale neighborhood of the Mexican capital on Aug. 8. He got away, Rosas said, but police found clues there that led them to a woody weekend getaway just outside the city where he was finally caught Tuesday by an elite squad of federal police trained abroad. His U.S. lawyer, Kent Schaffer, said Valdez's girlfriend and her mother were both arrested in recent Mexican operations, he said. "This has been going on for quite a while. They raided several of his homes. They detained his girlfriend's mother at one of his homes about three weeks ago," Schaffer told The Associated Press. "So you figure it's just a matter of a time." Valdez and four other people — described by police as Valdez's inner security circle — were pulling into the driveway when they were arrested, Rosas said in an interview with MVS radio. Although he had two guns and a grenade launcher (wow), Valdez didn't resist because police "never gave him the opportunity," Facundo said. Another of his associates with killed during a shootout with police outside a shopping mall in the city. Facundo said Valdez was found with three unostentatious compact cars — evidence that he had tried to lay low as security forces hunted him. Calderon called Valdez "one of the most-wanted criminals in Mexico and abroad" in a Tweet. He vowed that authorities will continue to chase the rest of his gang. Valdez, 37, was charged in May in U.S. District Court in Atlanta with distributing thousands of pounds of cocaine from Mexico to the eastern U.S. from 2004 to 2006. U.S. authorities had offered a reward of up to $2 million for information leading to his capture, and the Mexican government offered a similar amount. But Facundo said security forces nabbed Valdez on their own, and there would be no reward. Mexican authorities had not decided on any extradition plans. Schaffer said Valdez is an illegal immigrant in Mexico and could be deported (see? They’d do the same thing to us). "He was born and raised in Texas. His family's here. There's no Mexican citizenship at all," Schaffer told The Associated Press. "Mexico may not be so eager to hand him over, but it would be the smartest thing for Mexico to do politically." Facundo said deportation was a possibility but that police would prefer that he first face justice in Mexico for several dozen murders he is suspected to be behind. However, he said the final decision would be up to the federal Attorney General's Office. Schaffer said Valdez' safety could be compromised in a Mexican prison. "I'm sure there's a whole lot of people that are hoping that he would have been killed rather than captured," he said. Anyway, enough about living the life of drug-bought luxury, what would it be like to be known as “La Barbie” in a Mexican drug cartel. You have to be tough with a nickname like that. It’s not quite as menacing as… even something like “El Guapo” or “El Tortuga” or… “El Mariachi” or something? “They call him El. It means ‘The” in Spanish.” Oh… can’t wait for Danny Trejo to get a chance to star in “Machete”, it’s been far too long in the making. Where was I? Oh yeah, coming soon, Matt Damon is… La Barbie.

Hair Worth A Million – Something else fairly effeminate from a normally masculine district, American football star Troy Polamalu has a price on his head -- with an anti-dandruff shampoo brand taking out a $1 million insurance policy on his trademark mane of black ringlets (he’s Samoan so it’s a sign of manhood). Head & Shoulders said on Monday it had taken a $1 million Lloyd's of London policy on the locks of Pittsburgh Steelers' Polamalu, the Super Bowl-winning safety. Polamalu, 29, who was born in the United States but is of Samoan descent, says he has not cut his hair since 2000. He has been a spokesman for the Procter & Gamble Co brand for two years (with some of the most… let’s say, sexually questionable commercials of all time). "They've created the first ever insurance policy to protect his iconic mane for the entire NFL season," Procter & Gamble said in a statement. Polamalu, a five-time Pro Bowl selection, suffered some injuries last year but is back in the game and expected to be the backbone of his side's defense this season. His hair has come under attack on the field before, with Larry Johnson of the Chiefs tackling Polamalu by the hair in a 2006 game, but no details were given of exactly what damage to his hair would trigger a claim on the insurance policy. Split ends? Perhaps the frozen tundra of Lambeau Field effecting his shimmer? Just an interesting little bit of sports & fashion coming together. You’re welcome, ladies.

Marilyn Update – So… remember about a month ago when I was joking about a distinguished English actress like Judi Dench reading the Kama Sutra book-on-tape? Well, this story's pretty close too. Dame Judi Dench has signed on to the Marilyn Monroe semi-biopic "My Week With Marilyn" reports The Daily Mail. The story is based on a diary by Colin Clark, a young actor who worked for Laurence Olivier when the veteran actor shepherded Marilyn Monroe around London while she shot "The Prince and the Showgirl". Kenneth Branagh (“Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein”) and Michelle Williams (“Shutter Island”) are set to play Olivier and Monroe respectively, and Simon Curtis directs the project. Dench would play actress Sybil Thorndike, a fellow Dame who played the dowager queen in the film and one of the few people on the set who understood and got on with Monroe (whoa, wait, what? Oh, “got on” as in “got along” not “got it on” with Monroe). Dench will start shooting her scenes on September 20th, two weeks prior to the main body of the shoot. This is being done to accommodate Dench’s commitment to James Madden’s "The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel", which has nothing to do with “The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas” so I’m told. So yeah… be careful what you wish for, right?

Cusack as Poe - John Cusack (“2012” & “1408”) has revealed through his Twitter account that he's set to play legendary writer Edgar Allan Poe. "officiali- will play edgar allen poe in fall-a-film called the raven, send any poe- gold - my way as i begin this journey into the abyss" says the tweet. By the way, f**king tweets, am I right? Have some respect for grammar and penmanship. The only excuse is if he sent that while driving down the PCH with a hooker snorting coke off his grosse point blanke. Anyway, at last report, James McTeigue ("V for Vendetta") would direct the project which re-imagines the author as something of a mid-19th century profiler who joins the hunt for a serial killer whose murders are inspired by his stories (as opposed to the incredibly depressing story of the writer’s life). The film's setting takes place during the final week leading up to Poe's death in 1849, during which the author essentially vanished for several days with no account of his whereabouts (like all superheroes). He was found wandering the streets of Baltimore in great distress and repeating the name Reynolds (Burt?) before dying several days later in hospital. Hannah Shakespeare (I’m assuming no relation to Billy Shakespeare) and Ben Livingston penned the screenplay. Sounds like something I would watch. Big fan of the writings of Poe… and Cusack rarely makes me long for Death’s sweet embrace… so yeah, good luck with that sir.

That’ll do it for today. Not a whole lot going on for the next few days, but that’s good because I need to catch up on chores. This weekend should be pretty fun though with the Rib Cook-Off and Bubbles’ visit… and then the following weekend should be EPIC as I go back to the homeland to check on the Compound… er, family back in Utah. Have a great day everybody!!!

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