Thursday, September 3, 2009

Many A Dramatic Situation Start With Screaming

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Wednesday night, in the spirit of the good news about the remake, I decided to watch "Barbarella" again...and JL Clyde joined me...and a good time was had. However, I got a little weary about the remake possibilities. See, sure having Angelina or Megan Fox or any other superhottie playing Barbarella...which is one of the many many reasons for the pictures yesterday...and hopefully you voted for who you think would be the best choice. However, then I started to think about the article...and there was a number thrown on there of $150 million blockbuster...and sure, if Angelina decides it's worth her time, then $20 million of that goes to her...because she can. However, that being said, if somebody's putting $150 million into this movie, they're going to expect to get at least $200 million back. Also, if Angelina is going to star in it, she'll want it to be a real hard-hitting story with moral themes and great actors...and probably will want her husband to play Pygar the angel, so that's another $20 million...and basically, half the appeal of Barbarella...is that the story is just so damn ridiculous in just about every single way. Also, the role of Barbarella...is kind of a ditsy blonde...and I just don't see Angelina being all into it...unless it's kind of a comedic sex symbol role that she's looking to do...but I just don't see her going all in on the project. It may just be a little too ridiculous...and last time she tried one like that was "Sky Captain & the World of Tomorrow" (yes, I'm one of five people who actually saw that movie) and that was a bit of a flop...though it's actually not a horrible flick.

So the original was pretty much just a rouse...that caught on as an international hit in the psychedelic 60's...but I'm fairly convinced that there was a meeting of the nine writers of the original that went a little something like, "Okay, here's what I'm seeing. For the opening scene, I want a guy in a spacesuit floating around in his spaceship…but instead of the 2001 Space Odyssey type stuff, I want the floor & walls to be covered in brown shag carpeting…and there's a statue of a woman…with a boob hanging out…and a full size 'Sunday in the Park' there…and a supercomputer…but it just this thing that looks like window blinds that flip kind of weird. Okay, so you have the floating spaceman…and he starts taking off the suit…still in zero gravity…and you realize that it's a superhot naked chick." "Is she completely naked?" "No, she's in the spacesuit." "But will she be when the spacesuit is off?" "Of course. Undergarments aren't feasible in space travel." "I thought it was time travel." "It's both." "Oh. Of course." "Where was I? Oh yeah, so she's floating around buckynaked…and the credits come flying out of her orifices…and strategically cover certain areas so the MPAA at least thinks we're trying to conceal it. It'll be the greatest opening sequence ever." "What about the story?" "What ABOUT the story? It won't matter. We'll throw in angels and magic and an Orgasmatron and make up some words and evil children that are harvested and blue bunnies, it'll be the ultimate movie to watch on acid…or just to see the naked floating spacechick." "Who are we gonna get to play the spacechick, this...Barbarella?" "The director's wife is pretty hot. Let's get her to do it." Not exactly Academy Award stuff...but hey, you'd be surprised what you can do in this economy with $150 million. Anyway, that's just some thoughts that I had about a Barbarella remake. You probably don't care or have any idea what I'm talking about...and if so, please check it out and share your thoughts. I'll get back to the news...

Japan's First Lady Abducted by Aliens - Japan's next prime minister might be nicknamed "the alien," but it's his wife who claims to have had a close encounter with another world. This is no joke. "While my body was asleep, I think my soul rode on a triangular-shaped UFO and went to Venus," Miyuki Hatoyama, the wife of premier-in-waiting Yukio Hatoyama, wrote in a book published last year. "It was a very beautiful place and it was really green." Yukio Hatoyama is due to be voted in as premier on September 16 following his party's crushing election victory over the long-ruling Liberal Democratic Party Sunday. Miyuki, 66, described the extraterrestrial experience, which she said took place some 20 years ago, in a book entitled "Very Strange Things I've Encountered." When she awoke, Japan's next first lady wrote, she told her now ex-husband that she had just been to Venus. He advised her that it was probably just a dream. "My current husband has a different way of thinking. He would surely say 'Oh, that's great'." Yukio Hatoyama, 62, the rich grandson of a former prime minister, was once nicknamed "the alien" for his prominent eyes. Miyuki, also known for her culinary skills, spent six years acting in the Takarazuka Revue, an all-female (nice) musical theatre group. She met the U.S.-educated Yukio while living in America. So the first lady of Japan was abducted by aliens and taken to Venus (which I've heard is the female home planet in this sci-fi book that I read...okay, heard about). That takes some gumption. I don't see Michelle Obama saying anything like that. Even if it happened. Seriously, that's kind of like...Barbara Bush confessing in a book that she once caught a leprechaun. That's kind of cool. Weird...but cool. Anyway, just thought I'd share that with you...and I included a picture of the happy couple.

Dinosaur Update - Nanostructures preserved in feather fossils more than 40 million years old show evidence that those feathers were once vivid and iridescent in color, paleontologists say. Iridescence is the quality of changing color depending on the angle of observation - it's what makes you see a rainbow in an oil slick. Many insects, such as butterflies, display iridescent colors on their wings, as do many modern birds on their feathers. The simplest iridescent feather colors are produced by light scattering off the feather's surface and a smooth surface of melanin pigment granules within the feather protein. Scientists found smooth layers of these melanin structures, called melanosomes, when they examined feather fossils from the Messel Shale in Germany with an electron microscope. "These feathers produced a black background with a metallic greenish, bluish or coppery color at certain angles-much like the colors we see in starlings and grackles today," said Richard Prum of Yale University, who was part of the team that studied the fossils. For more than 25 years, paleontologists had thought these structures in similar feather fossils were bacteria that had digested the feathers at the time they were fossilized. The team had previously discovered that these structures were in fact not bacteria but melanosomes, which then allowed them to document the original color patterns. Following up on the new finding, they are racing to discover what additional coloration features may be found in fossil feathers. "The discovery of ultra-structural detail in feather fossils opens up remarkable possibilities for the investigation of other features in soft-bodied fossils, like fur and even internal organs" that otherwise are not typically preserved, said study team member Derek Briggs, also of Yale. The discovery could pave the way for determining color features of other ancient birds and even dinosaurs, the team said. That's right, Dinosaurs. That's something that has baffled me since I was a kid.


I distinctly remember being a kid and drawing dinosaurs, since they were awesome...and my teacher wouldn't let me draw naked women. I'd draw a T-Rex and give him all sorts of colored scales and patterns like a Chameleon...or a Gila Monster...or Batman, you know, whatever I felt like. I remember my 2nd grade teacher asking me once why I drew them like that...even though all the books that I read about dinosaurs had the standard dark green scales like most reptiles have. "Well, I figure that nobody really knows what dinosaurs looked like back then...because nobody was around. Maybe they had colors like this...maybe they were all black...maybe they had little fuzzies on their scales...we don't know. Birds and lizards and fish and mammals and frogs and insects, they all have different colors. Maybe dinosaurs did too." "What do birds have to do with dinosaurs, $teve?" With what followed, my teacher learned a lot more about dinosaurs then she ever intended to that day...and from a seven-year old. I was an odd kid...who grew into an odd man. So yeah, apparently ancient birds might've been more colorful than previously thought...and dinosaurs might've been the same way...and now I have more proof to my personal beliefs. Wanna know something else cool? I read an article a few weeks ago about how some people glow in the dark. I'm not joking. Apparently my copied URL has since been erased by Yahoo News...but it was kinda cool. Wanna know what else is cool? I have something else in common with a hottie.

Megan Fox: Schizo? - So it's been noted over the past few years...that maybe a guy like me could get along with Megan Fox. Forget the raw talent, sexual prowess, physical compatibility, similar interests & just overall commanding presence that we both possess...but now we have similar neuroses as well. According to a recent interview, actress Megan Fox has a secret she's been hiding (poorly) from her legions of fans - she suffers "bouts of schizophrenia." The Transformers star admits she has struggled with mental health problems since her youth and although she hasn't been officially diagnosed, she is convinced she shows symptoms of the serious psychiatric condition, which often torments suffers with auditory hallucinations, paranoid delusions and social dysfunction. The 23 year old reveals she has spent years meticulously studying the life of movie legend Marilyn Monroe (SEE??? I TOLD YOU!!!), who died of a drug overdose at the age of 36 - because she fears her own problems may lead her to a similar end. She tells Wonderland magazine, "I basically read every book ever written about Marilyn Monroe (and not just for the pictures). I could end up like that because I constantly struggle with the idea that I think I'm a borderline personality - or that I have bouts of mild schizophrenia. I definitely have some kind of mental problem and I haven't pinpointed what it is." Miss Fox, if you ever need to talk to somebody with similar symptoms...but has learned a few good measures to keep everything in check, call me, Facebook me (that sounded dirty), have your people call my people, do whatever you need to do to get a hold of me. I know a guy...who answers calls at all hours...and the last thing he wants is another tragic ending like the story of Norma Jean & Marilyn. Even if you need me to fly to Hollywood, I'd do it. You are not alone. I am here for you. And I'm going to stop before I start singing a Michael Jackson song...but it's oddly fitting given his end too. Homicide or not, drugs shouldn't be the answer unless absolutely necessary...and I'm a Doctor, so I know what I'm talking about. I'm not just here to show pictures of your magnificence. That's merely one of the many perks of the job. Observe...

That'll do it for today. There's actually a recent job opportunity that came up that I'm looking into...but I'll admit it, I'm already having second thoughts. Basically, a good coworker friend of mine from the past told me about a job with his company that's pretty much what I'm looking for...but he didn't have a lot of details about it, so I basically gave him my resume and he passed it along. Well, an hour or so later, I get a call from them and they want me to come by on Friday, do an interview, get shown around, meet the Big Boss and various other bosses...and basically I'm under the impression that they'll want me to join on Monday or something. Well, the thing is...the job's in Park City, so either I'd have to move up there...or drive Parley's Canyon twice daily...which I have no intentions of doing...EVER. Also, they'll more than likely offer me what I'm making now...and maybe even less hours...so there's little financial compensation for the moving and/or travel. Also, the job that I have now is cake...and there's plenty of room for a slow, steady growth...but yeah, obviously I'm on the job hunt for something better. I realize that I've become a bit of f**king snob when it comes to job opportunities...but I'd hate to not hear them out...while at the same time, not waste their time if I already know that unless they offer me compensation that's going to allow me to purchase a chateau down the street from a ski resort, then I'm not really interested. Oh well, I'll hear them out on Friday...and if they think I'm worth what I think I'm worth...then we'll see. I'm tired of waiting on HR with this company...but I don't want to shoot myself in the foot or anything. Remember, this whole thing just started with me wanting some information...so I have no problem with telling them no...even the Big Boss in person...and I'm not afraid to throw out the term "up'n my pay" if needs be. I may be a corporate whore...but I ain't cheap. Have a great day everybody!!!

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