Wednesday, September 9, 2009

It's 9 o'clock on 9/9/09

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

A happy 9/9/09 to all of you this fine Tuesday. Well, as far as an update, I have officially turned down Park City...and am awaiting an interview with Lake Tahoe...and will be headed to Lake Tahoe for the first time in just over eight days (possibly for an in-person interview). That's the sweetened condensed version of the update...because there's really not more to tell that wouldn't make my HR people seem...less than satisfactory. Also, I graduated from that managerial course at work (like Step 1 of 5) but the best part wasn't getting a neato framed certificate of completion...but rather the conversation I had with a lovely coworker during & after. See, I have this gift that some of you may have noticed, where people feel like they can open up to me...and it's probably in part because I have no problem with opening up to them. Even former bosses who wouldn't open up their sphincter muscles for a perfectly clean toilet if they had bad fried chicken (some of you know EXACTLY who I'm talking about), feel like they can bear their soul & tell me ANYTHING. So yesterday, we got to yapping about signing up for Step 2 in the managerial training & our short-term career goals, then it progressed to long-term, and then we just got to yapping...for about 20 minutes, like we were the only two people in the world. Seriously. Everybody else at this graduation ceremony kinda just left...and we were there talking about whatever. I think the only reason it stopped was because somebody flicked the lights off as a subtle hint...but yeah, good times. We plan on keeping each other posted on our career progression (and if she didn't have a boyfriend I mighta offered to cook her dinner...but I respect that) but it was pretty cool. What can I say? It's a gift I have...to be able to have meaningful, fun & reassuring conversations with ladies...and then sleep alone for years at a time. A gift and a curse really. Ah well. Here's some news...

Flogging Update - No dolphins in this story. Rather an update on the Sudanese woman who faced forty lashes for wearing knickers (remember?). The woman journalist was convicted Monday of public indecency for wearing trousers, but was spared a sentence of Flogging (not the good kind). A defiant Lubna Hussein said she would not pay a $200 fine and would take a month in prison instead to protest Sudan's draconian (Isn't Draconia where the Beastmaster is from?) morality laws. The 43-year old journalist has set out to challenge the police and courts since her arrest in July by insisting the case go to trial, aiming to embarrass the Khartoum government with the publicity (thanks to my MILLIONS of loyal readers across the globe). Her prosecution and the prospect that she could get the full sentence of 40 lashes drew an international outcry. The judge's decision to impose a fine equivalent to $200 appeared to be an attempt to curb the criticism. "I will not pay a penny," Hussein, who during the court session wore the same trousers that sparked her arrest, told The Associated Press after the ruling. During the session, police rounded up about 40 women protesting outside the courthouse in support of Hussein, some of them wearing trousers as well in a sign of solidarity. Sudan's government implements a conservative version of Islamic law in the north. Under public indecency laws, anyone committing an act or wearing clothing deemed indecent can be punished with a flogging or a fine, but lawyers and human rights groups say the law is too vague and arbitrary (seriously, just get a dress code like any company). In the capital the "public order" police enforce the laws, breaking up parties and scolding men and women who mingle in public. In mostly Muslim northern Sudan, many women wear traditional flowing robes that also cover their hair, but it is also not uncommon for women to wear trousers, even though conservatives consider it immodest. Public order police arrested Hussein along with around a dozen other women in a Khartoum public cafe. Ten of the women received a quick, closed-door trial and were flogged soon afterward, avoiding the social stigma associated with a public trial on morality charges. Hussein, however, insisted on a public court and even resigned from her job in the U.N.'s public information office because it gave her immunity (still think that was a mistake). After a three-hour session Monday, the judge ruled Hussein's outfit indecent and imposed the fine. He said her clothes violated traditions that a woman should only "adorn themselves" for their husbands and not in public, Hussein's lawyer said. So Sudan is still oppressive...but at least the two people who didn't already know that know. I can imagine the dress code at my job being like that. "I'm sorry, $teve. The crease on those khakis don't meet the required grade. Please take off your collared shirt...and prepare to be flogged...and no, not the good kind." "I misinterpreted the rules. I've got an iron out in my car. Just let me..." WHOOOPSH!!! "AAAAH!!! Oh my God, that burns. How many..." WHOOOPSH!!! "AAAAH!!! Is this going to go on my annual review?" WHOOOPSH!!! "AAAH!!! Kun-ta...Kin-te..." WHOOOPSH!!! You can imagine where the story goes from there...but I assure you, in true Eclectic Eccentric fashion, it ends in an incredible workplace ménage e trios full of sweat, saliva, blood (from the flogging wounds) and a happy ending...or two. Gotta love that health plan.

Vick Update - Michael Vick, speaking to a group of Philadelphia high school students Tuesday, warned against the dangers of peer pressure and offered himself as a cautionary tale of what can happen when someone is a follower instead of a leader. The Philadelphia Eagles quarterback, who served prison time for running a dogfighting ring, addressed a rapt audience of 200 freshmen on their first day at Nueva Esperanza Academy, a North Philadelphia charter school. He urged the students to make the right choices and to resist the temptation to follow the crowd. “I didn’t choose to go the right way, which led to 18 months in prison, which was the toughest time of my life. Being away from my family, being away from my kids who I adore dearly, and being away from the game of football, doing something so foolish, and I wish I could take it all back. I was influenced by so many people when I should have been a leader, not a follower.” The 10-minute talk marked Vick’s first anti-dogfighting public appearance in Philadelphia since he signed a one-year, $1.6 million deal with the Eagles on August 13th. At the time, he expressed a desire “to be part of the solution and not the problem” by speaking to children around the country about dogfighting. Speaking WITHOUT NOTES, Vick told the hushed assembly Tuesday that his poor decisions imperiled the goals he had set for himself. “Growing up, I had dreams and I always wanted to have this great, lavish life and make it to the NFL, go and accomplish great things and leave a great legacy. That was my goal from a young kid. My future was promising … at some point, I got sidetracked. I started listening to my friends and doing some things that were not ethical and not right.” He said he tried to do the right things at school and at home, “but I had another side to me, and it was a dark side.” Vick visited the school with Wayne Pacelle, president and CEO of the Humane Society of the United States. Pacelle has said he met with Vick in prison at the quarterback’s request and that Vick sought to work with the group after his release. Vick and the organization are working on “a national campaign to try to reach especially young people so we can all be voices against organized animal fighting,” specifically dogfighting and cockfighting, Pacelle said. “It’s really a test of our character as individuals about being good to those who are less powerful," he said. Once the highest paid player in the NFL, Vick was suspended from the league following his conviction in August 2007 on charges of conspiracy and organizing the dogfighting ring. He was released from federal custody on July 20. Several animal rights groups criticized the team’s decision to sign the quarterback, saying he is a poor example for young people. WHAT NOW??? Eagles spokeswoman Pamela Browner-Crawley has said the team has an obligation to the community, and to children particularly, to discourage them from engaging in dogfighting or any animal abuse. I can't tell you how happy & proud I am of Michael Vick thus far. He's really taking the proper steps to getting his dignity back...and being a positive role model for the kids out there. We all make mistakes. Sure, usually not on the scale of going from the highest paid player in the NFL to a convicted felon in serious debt in the matter of a year...but he seems to have learned his lessons & become a better man for it...and that's really all that you can ever hope for. I really hope that he becomes the promising beacon of Hope that I feel he has the opportunity to be - A Great Comeback Story, possibly the Greatest. Also, I hope he gets a Super Bowl ring...with the Eagles...this year. You know, even if only one of those happen, then the Eagles should be proud of giving this guy a second chance...and I'll be satisfied.

Cannonball Run - A Pennsylvania history buff who recreates firearms from old wars accidentally fired a 2-pound cannonball through the wall of his neighbor's home. William Maser, 54, fired a cannonball Wednesday evening outside his home in Georges Township that ricocheted and hit a house 400 yards away. The cannonball, about two inches in diameter, smashed through a window and a wall before landing in a closet. Authorities said nobody was hurt. State police charged Maser with reckless endangerment, criminal mischief and disorderly conduct. No one answered the phone Friday at Maser's home. He told WPXI-TV recreating 19th century cannons is a longtime hobby. He said he is sorry and he will stop shooting them on his property, about 35 miles southeast of Pittsburgh. Okay, so...just to compare. A middle-aged man fires a cannonball into another man's house...and he gets a slap on the wrist...if it goes to trial. In another case, a man's friends form some kind of dogfighting ring...and he gets 18 months in prison and loses HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS of dollars because of it. Doesn't quite seem fair, does it? Just something to think about...and who knew that you'd have to still watch out for random cannon fire still. That's like fearing catapults and teams of archers with flaming arrows. How do they expect us to sleep at night? That's more frightening than nuclear war...because I'm under the impression that I might be able to dodge arrows or cannon fire. I don't stand a chance with outrunning an atomic explosion...nor the fallout. I don't know, maybe it's just the concept of a temporarily avoidable death. Anyway, enough about that. You history buffs just need to be careful...or else I'll resort to my version of Ding-Dong-Ditch. I ring the doorbell, take a steps back, stand there...and when you come onto the porch to confront me...that's when the boiling oil rains upon you. "THAT'S for messing up my aluminum siding!!!"

Fortune Cookies of the Days - Okay, so remember when I was babysitting...and I ordered Chinese food (maybe I didn't mention that part)? Well, there were a few fortune cookies...and I didn't realize them until the next day...but hey, I'll share them with you...and see if there's a progressive pattern going on here.

"Investigate new possibilities with friends...in bed" - That's usually how my rare yet memorable and torrid escapades happen...and who knows? Perhaps that means that this recent conversation with the lovely coworker wasn't a fluke (though she has a boyfriend). Or perhaps I'll see Giggidy again soon. Or perhaps that girl that was checking me out yesterday might have succumbed to the power of the fortune cookie. (Though technically, I did check out her rear end first. She had a golden stitched Fleur di Lis on the ass pockets of her jeans. What was I supposed to do exactly?) Anyway, we'll see how that goes.

"Tomorrow your creative side will shine forth with exceptional ideas...in bed" - And those ladyfriends can reap the benefits of my creativity...which I assure you is quite massive in scope.

"Your choices at the moment will be good ones. Trust yourself...in bed" - I'm guessing this is in reference to my career choices...and just to trust that I'm doing the right thing...though I have to tell ya, sometimes I wonder why I try to leave so much. I love Utah. My family & friends are here. I just feel like...I need to break free and progress this career thing while I still can...because it'll be a lot harder (by which I mean, more difficult) to do so when/if I have a family...but hopefully by then, I'll be somewhat established. Who knows? I just need to trust myself...in bed.

"You will enjoy doing something different this coming weekend...in bed" - God, I hope so. I have Saturday off...but the rest of the time I'll be working. Lilie's coming back to Utah to visit though...but I doubt she'll have time for me. Her loss...because I'm going to do something different...and better yet, I'll be enjoying it. Hmm, perhaps it means I'll enjoy doing someONE different this coming weekend (aka not myself). Only time will tell...but the Fortune Cookie knows all and sees all.

Anyway, that'll do it for today. Not a whole lot more going on to be honest...but rest assured, I'll keep you posted on the small, insignificant events of my life that somehow amuse me everyday. Have a great day everybody!!!

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