Saturday, September 26, 2009

Watching SNL Tonight?

Good Morning Ladies & Gentlemen,

Haven't been updating this thing regularly...but it's mostly because the internet connection has been extremely hit or miss (damn password security, why can't people just share the web with the world?). Last night, JL Clyde & I went to an art show in Park City for a very talented artist by the name of Joseph Taylor. He has some amazing work...and because he's a student, you can get it at discount prices. Get them quick though. Remember that back in the day, Picasso would sell you one of his paintings for beer money...but when it went to the collectors, the price skyrocketed. Just letting you know.


I'd hate to bore you with the non-activity concerning my possible job position change...but basically, nothing has happened with regards to Lake Tahoe (like not even a callback yet...but they did post for a few other positions so that may be happening next week) and I'm getting to the point where I might just say "F**k it" and continue my career re-progression here with my current employer. I mean...honestly, it's a great job, great benefits, great people, they have no problem with training me consistently (rather than the situation of "Here's the problem, what do we do?" that I'm used to...and flourish in), and I don't know. I guess I'm just saying that if Lake Tahoe doesn't work out, I won't be heartbroken. Besides, the family & friends are (mostly) here...and you really can't replace that, right? Well, you can...but it's just not as good. Anyway, enough about that. To be continued.

So just before I went to Lake Tahoe, I was hanging with the Wingman...and we watched "Adventureland" starring Jesse Eisenberg, Kristen Stewart & Bill Hader. It was billed as one of those movies "From the director of Superbad" so I was expecting something hilarious like that. The story is set in 1985 I think...and is about a recent high school graduate (Eisenberg, though I'm pretty sure that Michael Cena was supposed to play this guy) whose parents have fallen on hard financial times...so he doesn't have money to move to NYC and go to NYU to be the next great American writer or something...so instead, he has to get a job to save up...and so he gets a summer job at a carnival because...he can, I guess. While there he meets an interested group of characters (okay, so interesting is a strong word) and then he meets this cute brunette (Stewart in her typical moody teenager role) and then it just drags on from there. Basically, the movie has a few brief moments of hilarity...and the other 95% is just stupid teenage drama crap. My suggestion? Don't waste your time with this one.

Last night, the Wingmans visited with their new puppy Sheba...and we ate at Buca di Beppo (okay...but pretty expensive) and then we watched "Observe & Report" starring Seth Rogen, Anna Farris & Ray Liotta. As I'm sure you've seen from the previews, it's about mall security guy (no, not Paul Blart, the other one) played by Seth Rogen who longs to be more. He takes his job seriously (somewhat) and when a serial flasher infiltrates his perimeter & exposes himself to the makeup girl that he lusts over (Farris), a detective is sent to investigate (Liotta) and he doesn't like competition. From there, he decides to apply to be a real cop...but he has some fairly obvious bipolar issues...and I'd like to say that it's funny...but there's actually a scene in the movie that I think sums up the movie incredibly well. He shows up to a meeting thinking that he's going to become a cop...and Liotta's character breaks the news to him that he's been rejected...and a fly-on-the-wall steps out of his office closet and says, "Sorry, I thought this was going to be kind of funny...but it's just really sad." There are a few parts where even I was like, "Wow!!! This is...really not...funny" and I find humor in just about everything, as you know. Anyway, it does have a few funny moments here & there...and I'm a sucker for potty humor...but I feel like towards the end they just got to the point of "Okay, how do we end this?" "I don't know let's just (completely quick & ridiculous wrap-up with no real world consequences)" "Sounds good." Personally, I'd say pass...but I can see where a few might like it. Now for some news...

The Naked Gun - Yet another reason to fear the elderly. Authorities say a 91-year-old South Florida man jumped out of bed naked and held an intruder at gunpoint until deputies arrived. The Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office said Robert E. Thompson woke up Saturday morning after a would-be burglar climbed his backyard fence and was met by his charging dog, Rettt, a Rottweiler and Doberman pinscher mix. Thompson heard the commotion, grabbed his .38-caliber revolver and phoned police without ever getting dressed. Deputies said Thompson fired a warning shot as 26-year-old Jose Pasqual started to come toward him. Thompson kept his gun trained on Pasqual until deputies arrived. Pasqual was booked in the Palm Beach County Jail on a burglary charge and did not immediately have an attorney. By the way, if you're going to rob a place, at least case it first. See if there's...I don't know...a bloodthirsty mutt...or maybe an old guy packing heat. Come on guys, if you're going to do something stupid like rob somebody, at least do it smartly. Is smartly a real word? I don't care. You get the idea. Just thought that was a funny image...and brought back memories of when my dad caught somebody trying to steal my Carmen back in the day...in the rain...in the nude...and he let him go after an HOUR and cops didn't show (but we put the fear of God in him before we let him go). When the cops showed up FOUR HOURS LATER, they wondered why we let him go. "We didn't want to get in trouble for kidnapping, torture or anything else. Besides, you're four hours late. He ain't coming back though." "How do you know?" "Because we told him that if we ever saw him again, you're not getting called." Good times.

Speaking of Cops - As you know, I enjoy certain things...such as stories that may or may not involve reverse racism. Well, here's one. Police in Philadelphia say a white officer who came to work with cornrows was ordered by a black superior to get a haircut because the braids violated department standards (even Beckham can't pull them off). The Philadelphia Daily News reported Monday that Officer Thomas Strain was put on desk duty this month because of the braids, even though the paper reported dozens of black officers wear cornrows. Police spokesman Lt. Frank Vanore says Strain's boss told the officer to cut his hair to look more "professional." Vanore says officers' hats must fit "in a military manner" over their hair, and that Strain's hat did not. Strain got a haircut; he declined comment to the paper (and therefore remains employed). Vanore recalled only one black officer with braids in the past several years. He says that officer also was told to get a haircut. Awesome. Just thought I'd throw that out there. Do with it what you will. It's always funny in Philadelphia.


Oh...and speaking of reverse racism in Philly, did any of you catch that late hit Week 1 on Donovan McNabb that bruised his ribs and gives him yet another nagging injury for the rest of his career? It was a late hit by a Panthers linebacker after the touchdown had already been scored. All I'm saying is...if it had happened to Tom Brady or either of the Manning brothers, there would've been a hefty fine, possible suspension and/or a rule change to protect the quarterbacks. However, oddly enough, it was Donovan McNabb...and it's just regarded as "Oh well, football's a contact sport. People get hurt. At least they have Vick or Kolb or Garcia to back him up now." Just something I'm throwing out there...because I can. You know what, I'm not about causing controversy...or talking about brushes with the law...or reviewing bad movies...especially after such a hiatus. I'm gonna end this on a positive note...

Megan Fox Update - The hot pants, leather biker suit and sweaty tank top that Megan Fox wore in the Transformers sequel are to be auctioned off as part of a massive film prop and costume sale. More than 100 items from "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" will go under the hammer at a Profiles In History sale in California next month. As well as Fox's clothing items, the highlights will include a 17-foot Bumblebee Autobot, the film's Bumblebee Camaro vehicle and the original Optimus Prime CGI head (ugh...the computer image?). The Bumblebee robot is expected to be the auction's big seller, with estimates starting at $60,000. Fox's short shorts, tank top and black leather motorcycle costume are expected to fetch between $3,000-5,000 each (yeah...and "Jennifer's Body" was supposed to be a hit too...but I expect them to be about right with the clothing. If they threw in a kiss from the starlet though, the price would easily TRIPLE). The Transformers sequel items will go under the hammer at the same auction as Michael Jackson's iconic illuminating white glove, which the late King of Pop wore on the Victory Tour. Should be an interesting day at the auction...but I'm afraid that outfit's a little out of my price range. The reason that I mention this...isn't just so that I can show the photos of the outfit being completely filled out in all the right ways...but also, think of this potential buyers, underneath this outfit...she was completely naked. That's right, hot sweet stanky Fox sweat...and I doubt the outfit has been thoroughly laundered...and when cloning is as popular as iPods, you'll have her DNA. Just throwing that out there...and let the imagination wander...

You gotta know how to sell it. Best of luck to her on SNL tonight. I'm sure she'll slay 'em...one way or another. Anyway, just had to end this on a positive note...and things are definitely looking up right now. Have a great weekend everybody!!!

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