Midyear Review

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

 

The weekend was pretty good… Dizzy & I basically watched a bunch of movies, walked a little bit (but it was pretty warm & muggy so not too much), relaxed & played video games, you know… fun stuff. We also discussed the idea of home brewing… so keep an eye out for a special Bacon Day celebration one of these days with homebrewed awesomeness… but don’t worry, it’ll be a few months down the road at least. We have to do a few test batches to make sure we’re not giving you Old Milwaukee or something.

 

Also, in case you didn’t know, it’s July 1^st, so it’s time for a little midyear review of my Resolutions:

 

• Date Dammit! – I’m not sure if Dizzy would approve of me dating more… she might get jealous
• Learn a Language – Not really…
• Get Back Into Ballin’ Shape – I went to the batting cages last week, but still drinking Mountain Dew. I may just have to give that up cold turkey & switch to water whenever I’m thirsty, still not too bad though, just could be healthier…
• Use My Passport – Still nothing international planned just yet but going to Utah in less than three weeks, Oregon for a week in about a month, and Jackie D & C-Real are talking about the Maldives next year. How’s that for exotic?
• Write a Children’s Book – I basically have the first 15 issues of our comic written & storyboarded, so now we just have to focus on getting the first few issues officially made & start selling to our demographic
• Don’t Sweat the Small Sh*t – Doing pretty good, but every day is a struggle. The main point of friction is where this idea crosses paths with “Don’t Let Triflin’ B**ches take advantage of you” so I keep it all in perspective… yet at the same time keeps it real…
• Look for the Next Step – I’m gonna sell my shares in the Brooklyn Nets & become a sports agent
• Survive the Apocalypse – So far so good… and I’m watching plenty of survival shows & watching disaster movies, which is important when you live at ground zero for all of them. “It all started when (insert threat to humanity) first appeared in San Francisco…” Speaking of movies, here are a few reviews from the weekend…

 

Saturday night, Dizzy, J-Mo, B&D and I went to see a special preview screening of “The Conjuring” starring Patrick Wilson (“Insidious” & “Watchmen”), Vera Farmiga (“The Departed”), Lily Taylor (“House on Haunted Hill”) & Ron Livingston (“Office Space”) from director James Wan. This movie is based on the real life accounts of Ed & Lorraine Warren, who were basically legends of the paranormal back in the 60’s & 70’s… and for all intensive purposes, it’s your standard plot for an exorcism/haunted house movie. A family gets a great deal on a house with plenty of acreage in Rhode Island, they move in, weird stuff starts happening, then sh*t gets real dangerous & they call in the Ghostbusters… or you know, paranormal experts (Wilson & Farmiga). However, what can set a movie like that apart from the others in the genre is the visual components, how the story unfolds, character development, acting, whether they have to resort to gore to get a reaction from the audience, and basically keeping the audience captivated & intrigued in the story on the screen… instead of snickering about how bad the CGI is or rolling your eyes like “Nobody’s going to walk into that dark ass room without a weapon on them!” Okay, so there are a few moments of that last one, but much like “Insidious” and a few other good horror flicks over the past few years, “The Conjuring” does a good job in developing the characters, keeping the story realistic, staying away from flashbacks & CGI, and basically it’s just a great horror flick. I’d definitely watch it again to see if I get the same reactions that I did in a theatre. You know, sometimes the sound system is what startles you instead of what’s going on the screen. Anyway, I’d say check it out.

 

Later that night, Dizzy & I watched another newer horror flick called “Mama” starring Jessica Chastain (“Zero Dark Thirty”) & Nikolaj Coster-Waldau (Jaime Lannister from “Game of Thrones”). You might recall the preview… it’s about the two young girls who were found after living in the woods alone miraculously for five years, basically making them feral children. Well, they’re found & their fairly wealthy uncle (Waldau) who has been searching for them for years, and his hot bass player girlfriend (Chastain) take them in & try to get them assimilated with the world. However, they soon find out that maybe their survival in the woods wasn’t miraculous… and they may have had someone watching over them… who wants them back. I’ll leave it at that for the story… but this movie was actually really well done with regards to how things were revealed, even character development was decent. Some characters you don’t particularly care for… but that’s how life is. Basically it was really good for the first hour or so… and then the last 20-30 minutes, it just kind of takes a turn for the worst. The story kind of falls apart. That being said, check out the preview, if it intrigues you, check it out… but just be warned that the ending may be disappointing.

 

 

Now for some light hearted fair, Dizzy & I watched “Lego: The Batman Movie” because we’re grown ups… and Batman is awesome… and Superman is in it as well… and spoiler alert, a lot of other DC comic book characters. The story starts with… look, let’s face it… does it really matter what the story is? It’s Batman… with Legos… and Superman… and Joker cracking wise… and it’s basically a sweet kid’s show. Have you played the Lego video games? It’s basically like those animation scenes but with a little better quality, actual voices & set in the DC Comic Universe for about 75 minutes. We really liked it, but it’s not going to win any awards. Kids should like it… adults might like it in the background… go ahead & check it out.

 

Next up was “Butterfly” starring Stacy Keach, Pia Zadora, Orson Welles… and brief cameos from June Lockhart & Ed McMahon (without his glasses). Now, from what I saw on IMDB, the director Matt Cimber basically made some exploitation films in the 60’s & 70’s so by 1982 he kinda had a theme set. Go ahead & check out his “body” of work… I’m already intrigued by the poster for one with Jayne Mansfield in 1966. (Shiver…) Anyway, this story is based on a novel… and is about a sexually open woman (Zadora) who meets up with her estranged father (Keach) who is the caretaker of an abandoned silver mine. Basically from there, it’s a fairly twisted tale of betrayal, incest, honor, morality… and frankly it gets a little out there. Now, one of the intriguing things about this movie… was that star Pia Zadora won both a Golden Globe AND a Razzie for her performance in this movie (the GG was bought & paid for I’m sure). She’s not the worst actress I’ve ever seen but… maybe the bottom ten… but she was hot so it’s okay. Stacy Keach does a decent job… given the role of being torn between banging his daughter, stealing silver to pay for her baby born out of wedlock/grandson, keeping his hussy daughter/love interest out of the whoring business, etc. However, I think my favorite role in this movie… was Orson Welles as the Judge. This was of course 80’s Orson Welles that you may remember from TV commercials, voice of Unicron in the “Transformers” cartoon movie & basically just waiting to die… but he shows up for at least two days of shooting for this movie… and during the final courtroom scenes when all the crazy sh*t comes to a head… you can just see it in his eyes that he doesn’t give two sh*ts about what he’s doing & no matter how crazy the plot holes are… you kind of just go, “Okay… I guess that’s the movie.” Roll credits. Would I recommend it? I’m making a list of movies that I want to do hilarious commentaries with some of my friends to get their reactions… and this made the list because it’s just so bad, weird, twisted, etc. Other than that, I wouldn’t waste the time.

 

New roommates coming in over the next few days, it’s a little awkward this first week but should be interesting to say the least. No NBA 2K13 update this time due to lack of playing time but now my brother wants me to play “Saint’s Row” with him as well. Apparently it’s like “Grand Theft Auto” but crazier… or something. Do you think he realizes that I’ve probably put in about four hours of playing time with GTA4 since I bought it four years ago? I’ll have to check it out though. Have a great 4^th of July everybody!!! ‘MERICA!!!