We lost the softball game in the closing moments again…but we did stage a massive comeback, as often happens in these games. I went 1-for-2 with a walk, run, 2 RBIs and 2 beers with the guys afterwards…so not a bad way to spend a Wednesday evening. The worst part was that Boss Man K was on the other team, so he’s likely to talk trash for a while. I can deal with it though. His team may have edged us in softball…but I’m over a foot taller than him, so we’ll see if he even shows up on the court. “Oh yeah, about our basketball game tonight, I need you to work late.” “Not cool, dude.” I’m just playing. He’s a good guy. Sigh… Speaking of which, I hate to even say it…but I’ve been glancing at other jobs. I know, I know. “$teve, you love your job, you love where you live, business is a boomin’, why the hell would you want to f**k that up?” I just said that I was glancing… but I did stumble upon a job that would be considered “the next step” in my career progression… and it’s along the Cali coast at another office with the company. One of the last things that I want to do is move again… after six months… because that sh*t’s getting old. However, I have to do what’s best for me. Now, am I going to be considered qualified if I apply for this job? Probably not. Thanks to a lot of different factors, I technically have no previous managerial experience (though you could’ve fooled me at a few previous jobs) in my decade-plus with the company. Is the pay worth the move? I’m considering leaving this paradise for it, so yeah. How about the responsibility? A LOT more responsibility…but I’m confident in my abilities to do anything I put my mind to, and I’ve been training for years for this job & doing bits & pieces of this job for quite some time on top of my own duties. I’d also have a few friends in the area (since I seem to have friends EVERYWHERE except here). I don’t know, it was just a thought that I had. Feel free to call me crazy for even considering it. I would have to agree. Anyway, that’s about it for me in the personal level. Here’s some news…
Blackhawks Win Stanley Cup – After nearly half a century, the Chicago Blackhawks are the best team in hockey once again. I’m not afraid to say that I was rooting for the Philly Flyers…but hey, either way it was going to be a pretty awesome victory for either team. The way it happened though, with an overtime goal by rising star Patrick Kane (probably most popular for a few DUI mistakes & romantically linked to “The Girl Next Door” Elisha Cuthbert) was like something out of a bad Disney movie…but hey, it works. Congratulations to the Blackhawks!!! And don’t worry, I’m not really angered about the team name like the NFL’s Washington Racists (now home to my boy Donovan McNabb). Seriously, how is that still cool? And in other sports news…
Avery Johnson – The scrappy former Spurs point guard with the hilarious accent, Avery Johnson, has just signed on to be the head coach of the lowly New Jersey Nets, who last year barely escaped the worst record in NBA history (thanks to a decent stretch the last month of the season). The current ESPN analyst coached Dallas for three-plus seasons, going 194-70 in the regular season and 23-24 in the playoffs. He guided the Mavs to the NBA finals in 2006, but was fired after a first-round playoff series loss to New Orleans in 2008 (and Mark Cuban might be racist?). Johnson is a proven winner, and his arrival in New Jersey will reunite him with point guard Devin Harris, who was shipped to New Jersey in the deal that sent Jason Kidd to the Mavericks. The Nets also have a young talented center in Brook Lopez, two guards with tons of potential, Terrence Williams and Courtney Lee, and high hopes for Chinese Olympian Yi Jianlian. New Jersey also has the third pick in this month’s draft. Johnson should also benefit working with new Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov. The Russian billionaire has said he will open his wallet in free agency, and the Nets have more than $23 million to spend on a talent pool that might include LeBron James among others. Oh…and Jigga’s part owner of the soon-to-be Brooklyn Nets. I’m glad to see Avery back into coaching. He got the sh*tty end of the stick in Dallas, so I hope that he’s able to turn the Nets around. I mean… they really can’t do much worse, right? Plus getting another great low post talent like Derrick Favors or DeMarcus Cousins with the 3rd pick, or maybe not LeBron…but signing Amare Stoudemire or Chris Bosh or something in free agency, could make this team a HUGE threat in the Eastern Conference almost immediately with the scrappy leadership of Avery Johnson tutoring an All-Star talent like Devin Harris. Watch out now!!!
Somebody’s Reading My Blog? – Tired of sports? Okay, how about video games? Yeah? Okay…and these new video game announcements may have been influenced by previous blog posts of mine concerning a love for certain things…like Time Travel & Dinosaurs in movies…but not necessarily video games (seriously, I don’t care about Prince of Persia or Turok at all). So how is a video game company going to peak MY interests? Well, how about games involving Time Travel & Dinosaurs based on movies? Makes sense, right? (Can’t wait until they make the one with a lesbian werewolf Milla Jovovich covered in bacon) Well, Telltale Games is going back in time for a new series of video games. The developer is creating episodic titles based on the "Back to the Future" and "Jurassic Park" franchises. Oh yes! The popular Universal Studios film trilogies spawned several games in their heyday in the '80s and '90s but have been absent from the interactive realm…until now. The as-yet-untitled Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, Wii, PC and Mac games are set to be released this winter (just in time for Christmas, hint hint). "I think it's a prime time to reintroduce these properties in the digital world," said Dan Connors, CEO at Telltale Games. "Telltale Games has always set out to be a great storytelling company. We've been honing our chops over the past six years, and we're ready to take on these two iconic properties and continue to advance storytelling in games." Telltale Games previously created episodic games based on Aardman Animations' Oscar-winning animated film series "Wallace and Gromit," Steve Purcell's comic series "Sam and Max" and Matt Chapman's online cartoon "Homestar Runner." Now it’s time for something that interests people (just playing, I like Homestar Runner). The San Rafael, Calif.-based developer approached Universal Studios when looking for inspiration for their next game series. "'Jurassic Park' and 'Back to the Future' are two of our broadest and most beloved properties," said Bill Kispert, interactive vice president at Universal Studios. "We were very interested in bringing them into the interactive space, but they're not exactly the kind of properties that lend themselves to the stereotypical shoot-'em-up style of gameplay." Connors said the games, which are in the early stages of development, would tell new stories extending the "Back to the Future" and "Jurassic Park" lore. He teased that the "Back to the Future" games may include a DeLorean ride back to the 1970s while the "Jurassic Park" games would be intense and add new backstories to the series' man-versus-dinosaur mythology (and I’m sure Chaos Theory). "The games are going to exist within these worlds. I wouldn't call these games sequels per se but a new interpretation of their worlds for a new medium. For one generation, it's an introduction to these series. For another generation, it's a thing they can look back on and something they can share warmly with their family and friends." No word on whether Michael J. Fox would reprise the role of Marty McFly…but I’m thinking that’d be wicked awesome. And Doc Brown (Christopher Lloyd) & Biff (Tom Wilson), of course. Hopefully Jeff Goldblum’s too busy watching people poop and doing Law & Order to help out Jurassic Park. So yeah… there are some possibly sweet games in development. Keep an eye out for those (Christmas).
Jaguar: For Men – Remember the fragrance “Black Panther” by Odeon? Made famous by Brian “Bri-Man” Fantana? (Yes, it’s an Anchorman reference) Well, it’s a little known fact that you don’t need a fragrance illegal in nine countries to land that choice p***y. Biologists tracking jaguars in the Guatemalan jungle might smell nice but it's all in the name of science, with researchers finding the Calvin Klein cologne Obsession for Men attracts big cats. Biologists Rony Garcia and Jose Moreira from the Wildlife Conservation Society's (WCS) Jaguar Conservation Program say they use hidden cameras as a primary source for observing and tracking jaguars in Guatemala's Maya Biosphere Reserve. But they also rely on Obsession for Men, a cologne known for its complex scent, to help lure then research and hopefully ultimately preserve jaguars in the Central American country. "The method we are using to study the jaguars here in Guatemala is a non-invasive method which is based on photographing the individuals by using camera traps," Moreira told Reuters Television. "It has been very useful using Obsession (for Men) to get the jaguars in front of these camera traps ... and that allows us to estimate with greater confidence the genders and the numbers that live in each studied site." The discovery that Obsession for Men acted as a magnet for jaguars was the result of an experiment by the WCS's Bronx Zoo in New York. The WCS was looking for ways to get cheetahs in front of camera traps, and, after several years of testing with different fragrances, found spraying the musky Obsession For Men near the heat-and-motion-sensitive cameras drew the cats for longer than other scents. They also tried out about 23 other fragrances but Obsession for Men kept the cats' attention for longest with Nina Ricci's L'Air du Temps coming second (aka first loser). The practice made its way down to Guatemala, where Garcia and Moreira said they have been recording similar success in the wild since 2007, allowing them to track jaguars and even record their mating rituals (mmm jag shaggin’). Garcia said the results will be invaluable to conservation efforts. "These camera traps help us to identify how many jaguars are living in this area ... (and) helps us to have control over the population and lets us say to the government, to the public, that Laguna del Tigre still deserves conservation," he said. The WCS said it tentatively plans to expand the use of the cologne in programs in Venezuela, Nicaragua, Bolivia, Peru and Ecuador in coming years. So are jaguar pheromones the secret ingredient of Obsession…by Calvin Klein? Perhaps. Or are the jaguars just expecting an unsuspecting tourist to be at the end of that scent? More likely. Can we find pandas in the wild by dashing a little Hugo on our collars? Or even the Roc’s 9IX (“Stay on her mind”)? Only research will tell. Just thought it was amusing that Obsession has an effect on jaguars.
Les Grossman Movie – Okay, we all love “Tropic Thunder” right? Never go full retard. So… the character Les Grossman (Tom Cruise) being the giant movie mogul that he is, just score a big movie deal for himself. That’s right. I will repeat. Tom Cruise is bringing his foul-mouthed, hairy-handed Hollywood producer character Les Grossman back to the big screen. Paramount Pictures and MTV Films say they're developing a film around the fictional character. Earlier this week, the 47-year-old actor (yeah, “Risky Business” was a long time ago, don’t act surprised) reprised the role at Sunday's MTV Movie Awards. Cruise and Ben Stiller are among the producers of the film. Paramount said Wednesday that Cruise is in talks to play Grossman (and seriously, who else would play him?). Cruise can next be seen on screen in "Knight and Day," due in theaters later this month. I liked the small part in “Tropic Thunder” and every once in a while, I’m not going to lie, I’ll dance by myself singing “Apple bottom jeeeeans…” but an entire movie? We’ll see how that works out. I’ll probably watch it…but it’s going to be really hard to get over that initial reaction whenever I hear “Tom Cruise stars in…” and just about gag. I have to change the channel when previews for “Knight & Day” come on otherwise my stomach churns for the next half hour. True story. Anyway, congratulations on your movie deal, Tom. I’m sure it’ll be fantastic. “G-Fiiiiiiiiiiiive… None of those frequent flyer b**ch miles for my boy!”
Batman Update – In other movie news, yesterday Hollywood Life reported that what started as a comment on the "Inception" set looks like it might be gaining traction. Their source claims that Joseph Gordon-Levitt (“G.I. Joe” & “500 Days of Summer”), who also stars in this Summer's mind-bending thriller from director Chris Nolan, is apparently "on the short list" for The Riddler in Nolan's next "Batman" film. "Chris really dug Joseph [as an actor]. There was a joke at first between them [on the set of Inception] that Joseph wanted to read for Batman 3 and things heated up as filming continued. It’s not 100% confirmed that he’s getting [the role of The Riddler] but there’s certainly talk about it. Joseph is definitely on the short list." However, a representative for Gordon-Levitt has already denied the rumor according to The Wrap. The other issue is that the script for the film is still very much in the works and it's not confirmed if The Riddler will even be the next film's main antagonist. Remember? Just the other day they were talking about Penguin & Mister Freeze…and Catwoman is always on everybody’s mind. Anyway, just an interesting thought out there in rumor land. Like Obama being in the “Whoomp! (There it is)” music video almost twenty years ago. What? You didn’t know that? Where did you think he was in 1993? We have a sighting.
Disney Fun – Who doesn’t like little dirty things in Disney movies to keep adult entertained when they’re forced to watch the same f**king movies over and over again by their OCD children? God knows I appreciate the break from monotony. Well, here’s a list of the 7 Most Famous Sexual Innuendos from Disney Films. Just in case you didn’t know. I only knew of four of them. Enjoy…
Little Mermaid - Penis In The Castle
Disney may own the keys to the happiest place on earth to visit, but it may not be the happiest company to work for. At least not for the disgruntled artist who drew a prominent phallic symbol on the front cover of the Classics VHS cassette for The Little Mermaid, when the film was first released on video in 1990 (go ahead and look at your copy). Disney and the cover designer claim that the penis drawing was an accident, and the result of a late night rush job to finish the cover. Perhaps, Disney will next tell everyone that pigs fly and cows lactate Pepsi.
Aladdin – “Teenagers Take Off Your Clothes”
This sexual innuendo occurs in Disney's 1992 animated film, Aladdin. When Aladdin climbs up onto Jasmine’s roof her pet tiger attacks him. What was supposed to be said by Aladdin was, "Come on... good kitty, take off and go..." doesn't quite go as planned. In fact, the word "kitty" seems to be overlapped by some other sound, partially the snarl of Jasmine's pet tiger, and the rest of the sentence sounds like “Good teenagers, take off your clothes”. Coincidence that kids these days are becoming sexually active at a younger age? Perhaps. I don’t know about this one. I just remember Abu saying some pretty nasty sounding stuff. Dirty little monkey.
Roger Rabbit - Baby Herman $5 Bill
Baby Herman's character in Disney's 1988 film, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, first comes off as a sweet baby filled with innocence, whose only exclamations seem to be "coohs" and "ahhs." Roger's baby co-star is actually a middle-aged man who lets it all hang out once the director yells cut, complete with cigar chomping, and overall bad behavior. In a deleted scene Baby Herman is clearly seen placing a folded up bill down the blouse of a voluptuous woman, and in the next frame she is all smiles. Really? Is that bad? Is it wrong to tip your caregiver? I didn’t think so…and don’t worry, there’s more from this classic.
The Rescuers - Topless Woman
Oh yeah. This is a new one to me too. In Disney's 1977 film, The Rescuers, the sexual innuendo is not an animated blunder like in the other films, but a very real photograph of a topless woman. Disney claims that since the image is a photograph and not animated, that it had to have been inserted in post-production. The image appears not once…but TWICE, once at the top of the screen and once at the bottom, during the scene where Miss Bianca and Bernard are flying on Orville's back through New York City. Thankfully for the kiddies, the film runs too fast for the images to be seen in regular viewing speed, and one would have to know exactly where to pause the film and play it in slow motion to even see it…and that requires watching the film so…is it really worth it?
Lion King - Sex Off the Cliff
One of Disney's most famous sexual innuendos is in the 1994 animated feature film, The Lion King. As The Lion King is still the highest-grossing traditionally animated film in history, this one has been seen by countless viewers, whether they know it or not. Famously this message appears when the word "SEX" is spelled out in a dust cloud when Simba flops down in the dirt at the end of a cliff. Animators of the film say the cloud was meant to spell "SFX", and supposed to be a signature relating to special effects. Turned out to be more of a subliminal message instead of a signature. Influencing and corrupting the minds of young children, only to turn them into sex craved maniacs once they reach adolescence.
Little Mermaid - Clergyman Erection
Disney's The Little Mermaid is well known for another sexual innuendo, which appears near the end of the film, during the wedding scene. The movie goes like this: the mermaid, Ariel, is obsessed with the human world and one night travels to the surface to watch a celebration for Prince Eric. A sudden storm hits and everyone hops on a lifeboat except for Eric who goes back to rescue his dog. He almost drowns trying to save his dog, and is in turn saved by Ariel, who sings to him while dragging him back to the beach. Upon waking, Eric has a vague recollection that he was rescued by a girl with a beautiful voice; he vows to find her, and Ariel - who has fallen in love with Prince Eric - vows to find a way to join the human world as well. An hour later, they find a way to be together. Basically it’s one of the most ridiculous children’s stories ever…and why it’s among my favorite to watch…because I feel it teaches all the right lessons. It's the story of a teenage redhead runaway who learns the valuable lesson that the way to win that Prince Charming is to get a nice set of legs, lose the crabs (and other sea creatures), don't talk, feel free to walk around naked (or with a seashell top), and enjoy your body as much as he does. Oh...and watch out for witchy whores that steal your thunder...and your man. Oh…and when they’re married at the end of the movie, it looks as though the minister gets an erection during their ceremony. Great flick.
Roger Rabbit - Jessica Rabbit Commando
Of course, this list would not be complete without another sexual innuendo coming from Who Framed Roger Rabbit? And my personal favorite as I recall showing this to my dad when I was like ten years old…and then we watched “Basic Instinct” for the first time. Ah memories. Anyway, this particular incident occurs during the scene where Jessica Rabbit is riding crazily around "Toon Town" in one hellish cab ride. When the cab runs into a lamp post, poor Jessica Rabbit is thrown from the vehicle and finally lands on the ground. Jessica's spinning causes her red dress to hike up her thighs and for a split second her nether-regions are revealed, showing her no-nonsense attitude towards going commando. Roger Rabbit is one lucky guy, as if he wasn't before already. Good night everybody!!!