Saturday, July 16, 2011

Jesus, We're Out of Sushi!

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

First & foremost, a happy birthday yesterday to my baby brother Kiel who turned 28. Also, today is my stepmother's birthday, so send them all your well wishes!!! The past few days have been busy at work... and a little on the rainy side outside... but hey, how can I possibly complain with weather in the 60's in July and a little rainy... when just about everywhere else in the States it's 100 degrees and humid as a Turkish bathhouse? It just wouldn't be proper... and I like this kind of weather... like... more than a friend. Anyway, tomorrow is the SF AIDS Walk in Golden Gate Park and I'll be meeting up with some coworkers & Carmen for the journey through the beautiful recreational area... with breakfast before & a BBQ lunch afterwards. Then... if I'm feeling saucy... there's the Salsa Festival out on Fillmore Street too. Or maybe I'll get bored and go hit that up later today. Honestly it... kind of depends on the weather for the festival... but rain or shine, I'm walking to show my support for the cause. Anyway, checked out a few movies... so here you go.

Okay, so... remember about a month ago when I was talking about the worst movies ever? And I made a list of five that I kind of wanted to see, just to see if they really were THAT bad? Well... first up was "Battlefield: Earth" and it was... so now I'm continuing the list. Next up... was "Repo! The Genetic Opera" starring Paul Sorvino, Paris Hilton, Anthony Stewart Head (Giles from "Buffy") and directed by Darren Lynn Bousman who brought you a couple "Saw" movies. Now... the story is basically the same as "Repo Men" was... in the near future, organs are financed out to patients in need of them... and if they don't pay, they get repossessed in very gruesome ways by repo men (Head). Well, this movie throws in an extremely powerful & irritating family that controls it all (Sorvin & Hilton among them)... and a twisted tale of Love, betrayal & honor that I just didn't quite grasp... and the feeling & scenery of the movie was... I don't know if they just covered the lens in petroleum jelly but with everything being dark, it just wasn't the best quality... and the thing that catapulted this into one of the worst movies ever made for me... was that it was a ROCK OPERA MUSICAL!!! And not a good one at all. I don't believe that anyone anywhere has the soundtrack to this movie... if it was ever released. I just couldn't get into it at all... but hey, I had to check it out, right? Oh... and I didn't make it all the way through... about 2/3 of the way before I declared that I don't care how it ends, I just want it out of my ears.

Next on the list of horrible movies that I wanted to see... was "Freddy Got Fingered" starring Tom Green, Rip Torn & Eddie Kaye Thomas. Wow... this one took only about ten minutes for me to just turn it off. No joke. See, I never liked "The Tom Green Show" on MTV... and I don't think he's particularly funny, especially when he's raping dead mammals or sucking off cows. It's just not my bag. Well, this movie started out with that... and him being an absolute childish prick... and I was fairly certain that nobody was going to kill him in the next five minutes... so I decided that I didn't care. I really can't even tell you the plot of the movie other than he's a 28 year old cartoonist with horrible ideas, a serious burden on his parents & brother, but he moves to Hollywood to make it big & work at a cheese sandwich factory and then... the TV turned off. Maybe it gets better... but I doubt it.

After that, I had to find something better... or at least potentially better... so I watched "Red Riding Hood" starring Amanda Seyfried & Gary Oldman. It's a retelling of the classic children's tale... but from the director of "Twilight" so... you can guess that there's a lot of teenage romantic angst and jealousy. So it's set back in a medieval European village somewhere (was totally expecting an ending similar to "The Village" for some reason) and there's a monster that the villagers have been making offers of livestock... but it's now gone back to longpig (aka manflesh). It's a werewolf... and they call in a specialist (Oldman) and his team to hunt and kill the werewolf before it completely eradicates the village. Throw in a "whodunit?" aspect of who the wolf might be, teenage love story, grandmother played by Julie Christie from "Dr. Zhivago", and you've got a movie. Not great by any means... but not horrible either. If you like Twilight, you'll like this. Gary Oldman is a God. Period.

Lastly is "The Alphabet Killer" which I gave a chance on Netflix... because it stars Eliza Dushku, Cary Elwes & Timothy Hutton... and was even surprised by a cameo from Michael Ironsides. Who's he? If you don't know, google him, you know. It's based on a true story in Rochester, New York where there's a serial killer targeting teenage girls... and a pair of detectives (Dushku & Elwes) are investigating. Well, one of them (Dushku) is manic-obsessive... and eventually when no leads are found, she basically snaps & ends up in an institution for two years. Then she comes back out to a desk job with the department... but the killer is striking again... and she wants to help in any way that she can... but can she control her obsessive impulses & avoid another breakdown? It's actually a pretty good little flick where you don't really know what's real & what's imagined... and there are a few points where you question, well everything the main character does... but I actually enjoyed it. I say give it a shot if you like detective stories about tracking serial killers. It's no "Seven" or anything... but it's pretty good.

Anyway, I've got a weekend to enjoy & a stepmother to wish happy birthday to. Have a great weekend everybody!!!

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