Thursday, June 11, 2009

Prick Love For Pricking

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Not a whole helluva lot to talk about personally. Probably gonna go see Game 4 of the Finals with my dad tonight. My mom's in Cali on business. My brother got a raise at his job, so now he's making more than minimum wage...and raising two kids...with a little help from my mom...but he's working hard and that's what counts. I may have to go see him this weekend...if he's not working...but he probably is. So yeah, rather than bore you with more stuff like that, here's the news...

Like Romeo & Juliet - A modern-day Romeo finally got his girl Monday when the northern Italian city of Verona opened up the balcony where Juliet pined for her lover as a venue for weddings. The 13th century mansion of the Cappello family -- believed to be the Capulets of William Shakespeare's tragic play "Romeo and Juliet" -- has for years been a place of pilgrimage for lovers worldwide, who have scrawled love messages on its walls. Now, Verona's town council is offering couples the chance to follow in the footsteps of Shakespeare's "star-crossed lovers" and see for themselves "what light from yonder window breaks." The first Romeo to take advantage of the offer was soccer player star Luca Ceccarelli, who plays for local team Verona. "I feel very emotional. You know, marriage always gives strong emotions especially in a situation like this," said a beaming Ceccarelli, before exchanging rings with his Juliet, Irene Lamforti. "We hope that this bring us a lot of luck." But it does not come cheaply. A normal civil wedding license in Italy costs about 45 Euros ($64): for non-European citizens the Verona license will cost nearly 900 Euros, with EU non-Verona couples paying approximately 700 Euros. At that price, lovers will hope for a happy ending. I am aware there are a few Shakespeare fans out there reading this, so you're welcome for spreading this knowledge. So when you find your one true love, now you can tie the knot on the same window as the mythical star-crossed lovers. It'll just cost you about $1300 just for the license. Forget about the ceremony, rings, flights, hotel stays...and it's just the two of you (like a secret ceremony...where it's just you two, the priest, and a witness you met at a gelato stand an hour earlier) so yeah, go for it. Live the dream. Still waiting for a space station so that I can have a Star Wars wedding complete with wookies & ewoks...but that may be another decade or so ahead of its time.

Vegas Update - Perhaps a new job opportunity for me down in Vegas just came up. The owner of a Nevada brothel suffering from the recession thinks she has been ignoring about half the market — the half that prefers men. Bobbi Davis is looking for male prostitutes to help expand the clientele at the Shady Lady Ranch (remember them?), her small roadside brothel about 150 miles north of Las Vegas. "We've had requests for men in the past, and there's nothing else like this out there," she said. Indeed, the 25 legal brothels scattered throughout 10 rural Nevada counties are staffed by women and cater to men. The Shady Lady, however, isn't the only one thinking about hiring male prostitutes. Nevada Brothel Association lobbyist George Flint says other brothels have approached him with the idea lately to drum up business. Like Nevada's gambling, hotel and convention industries, the prostitution business has hit hard times. Flint estimates that bordellos have seen a roughly 50% drop in revenue since the economy turned sour. "Business is so bad right now, I think brothels would do anything to survive. Disposable income is just in short supply at the moment," he said. Former Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss recently planned to open "Heidi's Stud Farm" near Pahrump, but gave up the effort this year after being arrested on felony drug charges. Flint says other brothels have offered male prostitutes over the years, with little success. He argues that the business model for a brothel that caters to women just doesn't pencil out. "Seducing a woman and seducing a man in a brothel environment are different things completely. One can take a few minutes, the other can take hours. It wouldn't make money," he said (Apparently he HAS dated before). Davis agrees that women customers could differ significantly from men, though she plans at least initially to keep her current prices for services — $500 for two hours, $800 for three. "That may change. We're figuring that women may want a longer period of time, maybe a little more romance. They're not quite like men in that respect," she said. Davis said the requests she has received for male prostitutes have come mostly from women, but that she also would welcome business from men seeking men. "I can't discriminate, nor would I want to," she said, adding that it would be up to prostitutes to decide whether they entertain any particular guest. Licensing male prostitutes might be a problem. State law allows for legal prostitutes of both genders, but the health codes that regulate the business largely are written to apply to female prostitutes. That includes a requirement that the working girls have mandatory cervical exams. "It's kind of hard to do that with a man," Davis said to the nervous laughter of reporters. Nye County Sheriff Tony DeMeo, whose office administers work cards for prostitutes (other benefits include free drinks at local bars after hours), said he's aware of Davis' plan and has sought legal advice from the district attorney. Meanwhile, Davis is drawing up her help wanted ad. She said she'll be looking for one or two men "in good shape, in their mid-30s to 50s." (DAMNIT!!! Just a few more years!!!) Asked about the age range, she notes that's another way women differ from men. "Look at George Clooney, he's 50 and he's still considered a very sexy man. Women don't consider a man washed up by the time he's 50," she said. Prostitution is outlawed in five Nevada counties, including in the Reno and Las Vegas metropolitan areas, but brothels have operated legally elsewhere in the state since 1971. So gentlemen, if you're looking for a way to make a few bucks in this economy...and are middle aged, then there may be an opportunity for you.

Colorado Update - Remember what seems like years ago when I lived in Denver? Well, sometimes I wonder what's going on there since I've left. I've already had a few people call my cell phone to open the front door. "I don't live there anymore, buddy. I'm not gonna buzz you in." I haven't heard much about my old job...and frankly I don't care much unless they offer me a better job than I had...which probably isn't going to happen. Then I stumble upon nuggets like this from one of my favorite hippie communities, Boulder Colorado. A couple of nudists claim their landlord is wrongly discriminating by trying to get them to cover up while gardening. Robert (58) and Catharine (51) Pierce have been accused by their landlord of being a nuisance by gardening wearing only thong underwear, plus pasties for Catharine Pierce. Neighbors complained to police about the Pierces' scanty clothing...but police say the Pierces are not violating the law as long as their genitals are covered...but their landlord, Boulder Housing Partners (did their parents name them that), has sent the Pierces a letter saying they could face eviction if they don't cover up. The Pierces say the threat of eviction amounts to discrimination. Robert Pierce said, "We want our freedom. We want exactly what the law gives you, and we don't want to be harassed about it." Betsy Martens, executive director of the Boulder Housing Partners, which administers Boulder's affordable housing program, told the Daily Camera newspaper that defining the word nuisance is difficult. "This is not a legal issue, it's a community issue. We try and balance the needs of the whole community." Neighbor Emily Hink said she spied Catharine Pierce gardening as she was driving home with her daughter, whose "jaw dropped." (I'm assuming not the good way) Hink said she's not opposed to people being nude in their houses or even in a fenced-off back yard...but the Pierces' home is on a corner just a couple of blocks from a school. "There are so many parks around here, and there are lots of kids around. They're on the corner lot right across the street from the community gardens and the Waldorf school. The whole street is lined with kids." Ultimately, if the Pierces continue their near-naked gardening, Boulder Housing Partners can choose to evict them. If the couple fought the eviction, the municipal court would be left to decide whether their behavior constitutes a nuisance. Thirty years ago, this wouldn't have been a problem...because Robert would've been a studdly 28 not unlike myself...and Catharine would've had her first taste of legal alcohol at 21...and let's face it, people like free twenty-something nudity...but when you get into your fifties, it's apparently a nuisance. Even in Boulder which is like the Vermont of the Mountain West. I think there should be a million man (and mostly woman) march on the Capitol...in the nude. Can you imagine the sight? Blinding farmer's tan ass with occasional speckles of melanin flooding the streets of Denver? Genitals swaying in the brisk mountain breeze? My God, it would be a beautiful testimony to Freedom. I'd love to help out with this cause...but unfortunately I'm back in Utah...and I don't think there'd be the same volume of nudist members here. I went to Pride this past weekend and there was probably a few dozen that would march with me. Then again, the nudists here do like to come out at night and walk their little dogs through the Avenues, conveniently located next to the Utah State Capitol. Hmm, maybe this isn't as far fetched as I thought. We'd just have to do it at night. I'm sure the news would still cover it...just that nobody would be at the Capitol listening besides security. Okay, now I have a project to look into in my spare time. Let me know if you're interested in marching.

So we've had fun today with plenty of sex & nudity...so maybe I'll have to balance it out tomorrow with some assassination, a pandemic, or other signs of the Apocalypse...but until then, have a great day everybody!!! Love y'all madly!!!

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