Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
I wanted to start by wishing a happy birthday over the weekend to Alisa, Filly, Lemons, my buddy Chris' little girl...and today to Mrs Wingman. Just a lot of happy birthdays this week. Today was also Be A Man Day apparently...so yeah, I did what I set out to do the other day. I went to work, changed the oil in my car (needs to be registered again), watched a movie with my dad, clubbed a baby seal, ate some meat (tilapia that my stepmom made, delicious), and then watched Ben Hur. That's about the extent of it. Awesome, right?
While watching TV with my dad, I saw a preview for the scary movie of the week coming out called "Orphan" about a little girl who, I don't know, is either possessed by the devil or just completely psychotic...just evil though...but it's basically a remake of "The Omen" with a little girl instead of a creepy boy. So I got to thinking...and I wonder if the working title of this movie was something like "W-Omen" because it's The Omen...with a girl. I can only imagine the kind of flack the studio gave them if that were the case. "Do you have any idea what the National Organization of Women will do if we release a horror flick about a possessed demon girl called "Women"?" "It's not Women, it's W-Omen. Wo-Omen! Why can't anybody else see the distinction?" "Really? Because I'm looking at one of the preliminary poster designs...and I'm not exactly a Rhodes Scholar or anything...but I'm pretty sure that I'm reading Women...with a big f**king O!!! As in Oh my God, I can't believe you actually think this would work." "Well, what would you suggest? I don't want to call my work something stupid like that...American Haunting in Eastern Vermont or whatever the hell those movies are." "It's okay. We'll come up with something. Let's see, we didn't pay any royalties to the Omen...so we wouldn't want that name anyway...but something similar...something that, I'VE GOT IT!!! ORPHAN!!!" "But she's not an orphan, she's the daughter of Satan." "SO??? He's in Hell with a bunch of other deadbeat fathers. We're going with Orphan." "It's gonna take a few extra scenes to show..." "Blah blah blah, make it happen director boy. You're budgeted for two days of reshoots and don't ever come into my office again trying to pitch a movie like that. If you come in next year with a movie called Dog Fight Club, I'll have you deported." You know, sometimes I wonder if I'm the only person that has these whole nonsensical theoretical discussions that probably never happened...except in my mind. Whether it's the Kiffins Christmas dinner discussions, bits from the Happily Ever After phase of fairy tales, or just random smart ass remarks...but I hope you enjoy them as much as I do. Anyway, here's some news...
Biggest Pants - Maybe I need to go back to the homeland of Eastern Europe to find some pants that fit right. A pair of jeans the size of six tennis courts, stitched together from thousands donated for charity, should be recognized by Guinness World Records as the biggest pair anywhere (and could contain the biggest pair anywhere as well...like Guns of Navaronne balls), organizers said on Sunday. "We've made the world's largest pair of jeans!" the Cockta (tehehe) Jeans Fashion project said on its website. "People were bringing in their old jeans... and sponsors were immediately giving money for humanitarian purposes," project head Boris Juric told national television. The denims were put on display in Croatia's capital Zagreb on Saturday after they were assembled from 8,023 unwanted pairs and auctioned off over the last few months. They have a leg length of 45 meters (148 feet) and a total width of 34 meters and were sewn up in a local factory. For each pair of donated jeans, the project paid seven kunas (1.30 dollars or 90 euro cents) to a local association providing therapy to disabled people, so about $10,000 were raised. It's great to see old jeans to go use. This pants would be perfect for me if they were 34 x 45 inches instead of meters...but alas, I'll just have to look for miniature versions.
Rat Island - Alaska's Rat Island is finally rat-free, 229 years after a Japanese shipwreck spilled rampaging rodents onto the remote Aleutian island, decimating the local bird population. How did this happen? How did these rats disappear after over two centuries of dominance? Well, after dropping poison onto the island from helicopter-hoisted buckets for a week and a half last autumn, there are no signs of living rats...and some birds have returned, according to the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service. Rats have ruled the island since 1780, when they jumped off a sinking Japanese ship and terrorized all but the largest birds on the island. The incident introduced the non-native Norway rat -- also known as the brown rat -- to Alaska. The $2.5 million Rat Island eradication project, a joint effort between the U.S. federal government, the Nature Conservancy and Island Conservation, is one of the world's most ambitious attempts to remove destructive alien species from an island (second only to the continuing eradication of Martians invaders from the island of America). Now there are signs that several species of birds, including Aleutian cackling geese, ptarmigan, peregrine falcons and black oystercatchers, are starting to nest again on the 10-square-mile (26-sq-km) island. It is too soon to say that Rat Island is definitively rat-free, however. That can only be established after at least two years of monitoring, said Bruce Woods, a spokesman for the Fish and Wildlife Service in Anchorage. "We don't know that there's not a couple of happy rats hiding away that are going to spring out and repopulate the island," he said. Well, if I were the only male left to repopulate a species, I suppose I would be a happy rat too. So yeah, while some wildlife societies set out to save animals, others eradicate them. The difference - Cuteness. Nobody likes brown rats. Brown rats date outside of their species because they can't stand them. However, we can at least tolerate cackling geese...and peregrine falcons are badass. I'm not even sure what a ptarmigan is...but I'm sure it has an exhibit at Sea World. Is there a special exhibit for brown Norwegian rats? Nope. Hence why they were poisoned for over a week. Just a thought I like to throw out whenever PETA and other wildlife conservation communities give me flack. Now the new question is...what to rename the island? Might I suggest $tevonia? Yes, my own little ten square mile principality that's still within the borders of the United States...but probably stinking rich with minerals. Not only that...but possibly a superspecies of rodent immune to poison. Yes, this could be interesting. I could rule with an iron fist over the Aleutians...with peregrine falcon on my shoulder and surrounded by an army of mutant rats.
Panda Update - Continuing on with my loyal army of animals, a committee of the Zoological Park Organization of Thailand has picked four names from thousands of entries submitted from all over the country for the new female baby panda at Chiang Mai Zoo (and the first born in Thailand). The four names on the shortlist are Ying Ying, Thai-Jeen, Lin Ping and Khwan Thai (I have no idea what they mean like "Beautiful Forest" or anything). People throughout the country can vote for one of the four names by sending a postcard to the naming committee. The postcards will be on sale in Bangkok and nearby provinces on June 19 and in other provinces on June 22. The baby panda's name will be announced on Aug 12th, Mother's Day (in Thailand...but every day is Mother's Day in $tevonia). So yeah, if you're in Thailand, cast your vote today. I'm glad that my Panda Porn once again is helping to save the species...so that we can one day rule.
Okay, maybe I've had enough of this omnipotent imagination stuff today. Here are some pictures from my adventures with JL Clyde on Sunday including the 337 Project & Gilgal Park. No, Gilgal is an artist not the female equivalent of Aquaman. He made these rock sculptures at a secret location near Trolley Square. I'd be happy to show you where. Enjoy...
I wanted to start by wishing a happy birthday over the weekend to Alisa, Filly, Lemons, my buddy Chris' little girl...and today to Mrs Wingman. Just a lot of happy birthdays this week. Today was also Be A Man Day apparently...so yeah, I did what I set out to do the other day. I went to work, changed the oil in my car (needs to be registered again), watched a movie with my dad, clubbed a baby seal, ate some meat (tilapia that my stepmom made, delicious), and then watched Ben Hur. That's about the extent of it. Awesome, right?
While watching TV with my dad, I saw a preview for the scary movie of the week coming out called "Orphan" about a little girl who, I don't know, is either possessed by the devil or just completely psychotic...just evil though...but it's basically a remake of "The Omen" with a little girl instead of a creepy boy. So I got to thinking...and I wonder if the working title of this movie was something like "W-Omen" because it's The Omen...with a girl. I can only imagine the kind of flack the studio gave them if that were the case. "Do you have any idea what the National Organization of Women will do if we release a horror flick about a possessed demon girl called "Women"?" "It's not Women, it's W-Omen. Wo-Omen! Why can't anybody else see the distinction?" "Really? Because I'm looking at one of the preliminary poster designs...and I'm not exactly a Rhodes Scholar or anything...but I'm pretty sure that I'm reading Women...with a big f**king O!!! As in Oh my God, I can't believe you actually think this would work." "Well, what would you suggest? I don't want to call my work something stupid like that...American Haunting in Eastern Vermont or whatever the hell those movies are." "It's okay. We'll come up with something. Let's see, we didn't pay any royalties to the Omen...so we wouldn't want that name anyway...but something similar...something that, I'VE GOT IT!!! ORPHAN!!!" "But she's not an orphan, she's the daughter of Satan." "SO??? He's in Hell with a bunch of other deadbeat fathers. We're going with Orphan." "It's gonna take a few extra scenes to show..." "Blah blah blah, make it happen director boy. You're budgeted for two days of reshoots and don't ever come into my office again trying to pitch a movie like that. If you come in next year with a movie called Dog Fight Club, I'll have you deported." You know, sometimes I wonder if I'm the only person that has these whole nonsensical theoretical discussions that probably never happened...except in my mind. Whether it's the Kiffins Christmas dinner discussions, bits from the Happily Ever After phase of fairy tales, or just random smart ass remarks...but I hope you enjoy them as much as I do. Anyway, here's some news...
Biggest Pants - Maybe I need to go back to the homeland of Eastern Europe to find some pants that fit right. A pair of jeans the size of six tennis courts, stitched together from thousands donated for charity, should be recognized by Guinness World Records as the biggest pair anywhere (and could contain the biggest pair anywhere as well...like Guns of Navaronne balls), organizers said on Sunday. "We've made the world's largest pair of jeans!" the Cockta (tehehe) Jeans Fashion project said on its website. "People were bringing in their old jeans... and sponsors were immediately giving money for humanitarian purposes," project head Boris Juric told national television. The denims were put on display in Croatia's capital Zagreb on Saturday after they were assembled from 8,023 unwanted pairs and auctioned off over the last few months. They have a leg length of 45 meters (148 feet) and a total width of 34 meters and were sewn up in a local factory. For each pair of donated jeans, the project paid seven kunas (1.30 dollars or 90 euro cents) to a local association providing therapy to disabled people, so about $10,000 were raised. It's great to see old jeans to go use. This pants would be perfect for me if they were 34 x 45 inches instead of meters...but alas, I'll just have to look for miniature versions.
Rat Island - Alaska's Rat Island is finally rat-free, 229 years after a Japanese shipwreck spilled rampaging rodents onto the remote Aleutian island, decimating the local bird population. How did this happen? How did these rats disappear after over two centuries of dominance? Well, after dropping poison onto the island from helicopter-hoisted buckets for a week and a half last autumn, there are no signs of living rats...and some birds have returned, according to the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service. Rats have ruled the island since 1780, when they jumped off a sinking Japanese ship and terrorized all but the largest birds on the island. The incident introduced the non-native Norway rat -- also known as the brown rat -- to Alaska. The $2.5 million Rat Island eradication project, a joint effort between the U.S. federal government, the Nature Conservancy and Island Conservation, is one of the world's most ambitious attempts to remove destructive alien species from an island (second only to the continuing eradication of Martians invaders from the island of America). Now there are signs that several species of birds, including Aleutian cackling geese, ptarmigan, peregrine falcons and black oystercatchers, are starting to nest again on the 10-square-mile (26-sq-km) island. It is too soon to say that Rat Island is definitively rat-free, however. That can only be established after at least two years of monitoring, said Bruce Woods, a spokesman for the Fish and Wildlife Service in Anchorage. "We don't know that there's not a couple of happy rats hiding away that are going to spring out and repopulate the island," he said. Well, if I were the only male left to repopulate a species, I suppose I would be a happy rat too. So yeah, while some wildlife societies set out to save animals, others eradicate them. The difference - Cuteness. Nobody likes brown rats. Brown rats date outside of their species because they can't stand them. However, we can at least tolerate cackling geese...and peregrine falcons are badass. I'm not even sure what a ptarmigan is...but I'm sure it has an exhibit at Sea World. Is there a special exhibit for brown Norwegian rats? Nope. Hence why they were poisoned for over a week. Just a thought I like to throw out whenever PETA and other wildlife conservation communities give me flack. Now the new question is...what to rename the island? Might I suggest $tevonia? Yes, my own little ten square mile principality that's still within the borders of the United States...but probably stinking rich with minerals. Not only that...but possibly a superspecies of rodent immune to poison. Yes, this could be interesting. I could rule with an iron fist over the Aleutians...with peregrine falcon on my shoulder and surrounded by an army of mutant rats.
Panda Update - Continuing on with my loyal army of animals, a committee of the Zoological Park Organization of Thailand has picked four names from thousands of entries submitted from all over the country for the new female baby panda at Chiang Mai Zoo (and the first born in Thailand). The four names on the shortlist are Ying Ying, Thai-Jeen, Lin Ping and Khwan Thai (I have no idea what they mean like "Beautiful Forest" or anything). People throughout the country can vote for one of the four names by sending a postcard to the naming committee. The postcards will be on sale in Bangkok and nearby provinces on June 19 and in other provinces on June 22. The baby panda's name will be announced on Aug 12th, Mother's Day (in Thailand...but every day is Mother's Day in $tevonia). So yeah, if you're in Thailand, cast your vote today. I'm glad that my Panda Porn once again is helping to save the species...so that we can one day rule.Okay, maybe I've had enough of this omnipotent imagination stuff today. Here are some pictures from my adventures with JL Clyde on Sunday including the 337 Project & Gilgal Park. No, Gilgal is an artist not the female equivalent of Aquaman. He made these rock sculptures at a secret location near Trolley Square. I'd be happy to show you where. Enjoy...
337 Project in the heart of Rose Park
I'd pay to see a bear fight a giant rooster
The Blue Plate Diner - Good eats...
...and a velvet Elvis
Gilgal Sculpture Gardens
Meet Joseph Sphinx
The sculptor, Mr Gilgal
A Bird Hotel
Oh...and there's a garden too
Have a great day everybody!!!
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