Dr. Love's Petting Zoo

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Well, trusted gossipers are telling me some less than thrilling news about the hotel industry in Las Vegas…but I'm trying to keep optimistic about it all. So I'm training so that they get the best employee / leader possible when I do go down there…but now I'm wondering if I should broaden the search a bit. The problem is…most cities across the nation are all being hit hard by the economic downturn. I did get a lovely little spam from Monster.com telling me about the top 5 cities to build wealth…but they're locations like Plano TX (Dallas is…okay), Aurora CO (I know people in Denver…who are probably moving back to Slick City), Omaha NE (I personally know WHY they're doing good…but don't care for corn), Minneapolis MN (rumors of Favre playing for the Vikings are intriguing), and Albuquerque NM (lots of wrong turns involve in people ending up there). I don't know. Maybe I just need a little more patience…but it's coming up on six months that I've been trying to get out there. Oh well, if they're not hiring me, it's probably because they can't afford me, so that's a good thing. I also get to hang out here…with my family & friends for a little longer…before going off to make new friends & contacts. I guess what I'm trying to say is…go to Vegas for your vacation. It's warm, the booze is cheap, and the people are easy. In today's economic times, you can probably negotiate prices for anything. ANYTHING. It all happens for a reason.

Other than that, Brooklyn and I were discussing trading shifts at work…and she said "$teve, if you can't do it, that's okay. Don't do it. You're a sweetheart and I'd never try to screw you." "Wow, thanks Brooklyn. Real big boost to my self-esteem right there." "No, I mean like…screw you over. You know what I mean." "Oh, I know EXACTLY what you mean. Message received." Just goes to show guys. Don't be a sweetheart, because they'll never try to screw you. Oh…and take everything literally. Anyway, don't know why that actually still makes me laugh…probably because I made her blush a bit. Here's some news about animals…

Panda Update - Four giant panda cubs were born within 14 hours at a breeding center in southwest China, a mini baby boom for the rare animals, a state news agency reported Sunday. The births began Saturday at the Chengdu Panda Breeding Research Center when 9-year-old Qiyuan ("Magic Luck") gave birth to magically lucky female twins at 5:24 p.m. and 6:16 p.m. Then, eight-year-old Chenggong ("Success") gave successful birth to a cub at 7:51 p.m., followed by 8-year-old Zhuzhu ("Pearl") who delivered yet another pearl at 6:55 a.m. Sunday. This is great news for panda lovers across the globe. It seems like my Panda Updates started out last year being about new procedures (that I suggested to them three years ago), then they've become a few rare births here & there along with contest for their naming after 100 days, and now it's every few weeks a new cub, twins, and four-at-a-time mass deliveries. I'm waiting for the octuplets here in August. It's a great trend for these seemingly gentle giants…and I hope that they can get their swerve on and get off…that endangered species list.

Sexy Devil - For those who don't know, the Tasmanian Devil has been on the endangered species list for a while as well…and have really had problems with a mysterious disease causing facial tumors and bringing their life expectancy from six years to two years over the last decade. How have they coped? They have extended their breeding season to last all year since the advent of the deadly disease that threatens to wipe out the species. Wildlife biologist David Pemberton said the finding appeared to be linked to recent research showing that the animals were also having sex younger (so they're becoming more human?). Pemberton, who has been studying the creatures for more than two decades, said that in the past, mating was restricted to a three-week period around March and April, the southern autumn. The species is restricted to the island state of Tasmania after competition from the dingo led to its extinction on mainland Australia. It is Australia's largest marsupial carnivore after the extinction last century of its distant cousin, the thylacine or Tasmanian tiger. Luckily for them, the disease isn't sexually transmitted…but rather spread through biting…hmm, unless they're just really wild kinky little devils. That's possible. I've seen them on TV. Primal, loud, destructive, slobbery, no restraint, speaking in grunts and groans, always hanging around rabbits (probably for the fur), I'll admit it's kind of hot. God knows I've had my share of teeth marks on…never mind. That's beside the point. Perhaps I will send an email to Dr. Pemberton to see if they've looked into that angle. We've got save the Devils!!! Otherwise, why would anybody want to go to Tasmania? Wombats?

My Deerest Ant - Okay, it's a bad pun (or rather several bad puns) but this is a story about a six-legged deer. I'm open to other headlines if you've got a better one. Anyway, an Athens GA woman with a permit to keep unique animals in captivity has agreed to take the unusual deer. The animal was found July 18 near Armuchee and underwent surgery to repair its minor injuries after being attacked by a dog. The fawn has two complete pelvises and two tails. One of the tails had to be amputated (yikes!). Professor George Gallagher said the fawn has a condition that is similar to Siamese twins in humans…which I means that the evil twin is probably shoved up the other's ass or something…at a genetic level, of course. Anyway, glad he's doing okay…and I expect to see him when the State Fair comes around next year…since they gypped me on my mermaid in Montana.

Geez, You Gotta Big (Cat)!!! - A 44-pound feline was found waddling around Saturday without a collar in Voorhees, NJ and officials at the Camden County Animal Shelter hope she gets a nice (hopefully diet-friendly) home. Shelter officials are calling the porky cutie "Princess Chunk" (Nice! Love those Jersey people) In case you were wondering, the largest tabby on record weighed 46 pounds, 15 ounces. That cat, who lived in Australia, died in the 1980s. The Guinness World Records has since dropped the category, fearing cat owners might harm their animals in an attempt to break the record. I never would have even thought of that…before. Princess Chunk's owner has until Saturday to reclaim her. After that, she will be eligible for adoption. So anybody looking for a large cat…and in the New Jersey area, stop on by on the weekend and see if you can be Prince Hunk for Princess Chunk.

Well, that'll do it for today. Not much else going on yet, but it's still pretty early. Working all weekend though, so it can't get too crazy, right? (Sigh...) It's all good. I'm getting paid. Have a great day everybody!!! Go to Vegas for the weekend. Give them the means to afford me. Who knows? We could BOTH be the next big winner!!!

Carnage, Cancer, & Cuddling

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Last night, I watched "Jurassic Fight Club" on the History Channel, where they pit dinosaurs against eachother in a virtual duel to the death. What's not to like about that? Okay, so I'm a dinosaur nerd. Still, last night's episode was about Majungatholus (loosely pronounced My-Jungle-Phallic), a cannibalistic dinosaur in Madagascar about 70 million years ago. That's right, dinosaur cannibals...which is one step away from dinosaur zombies. Not only do they have razor sharp teeth, massive whipping tails, and a thick skull for ramming...but they also had a story behind the virtual ruckus. A male was trying to strut his stuff in order to mate with a female...but she was protecting her young...because they're cannibals. The male eventually notices why she's being particularly prudish...and then thinks "I'm going to have to kill her child in order to mate with her." (You know, stepfather syndrome on a reptilian scale...but wait it gets better. They even hard a viewer discretion advised warning...on the History Channel) So they scrap...and the female trips on a log, giving the male the opportunity to kill the baby...which he attempts (quite viciously). Now, he thinks he's going to get some hot reptilian action...but instead the mom comes flying out of left field and crushes his neck with her jaws, causing him to drop the baby...and paralyzing him...but he's still alive.

Oh, it's not over yet. The female nudges the baby to get a rise of it...but to no avail. Her child is dead. However, instead of greiving (which reptiles simply don't do), she needs to replenish her calories from the fight...so she eats her baby...then turns her attention to the paralyzed male...and eats him while he's still alive, organs first...because they're the most nutritious. Twisted, right? This is up there on the guilty pleasure scale now with a ridiculous show I saw with my brother on G4 called "Hurl!" where...well, the have competitive eating, then extreme activities like amusement park rides for five minutes and bungee jumping, and if you "Hurl!" then you lose. By the way, the winner gets a thousand bucks...and an Iron Stomach trophy. I like the dinosaurs better though...because it's educational...and for the kids...with parental supervision of course. "Mommy, if new daddy kills me, are you going to eat me?" Awkward.

Even Jerry Lewis is Packin' Heat - Police in Las Vegas say they have confiscated a gun belonging to Jerry Lewis that was found in the 82-year-old entertainer's carryon bag as he prepared to fly to Detroit. Policeman Bill Cassell said Tuesday that the actor was cited Friday for carrying an unloaded concealed weapon at the Las Vegas airport. Lewis' manager, Claudia Marghilano, says the handgun is a hollowed-out prop gun that Lewis sometimes twirls during his show and couldn't fire. Marghilano says Lewis didn't know the gun was in the bag along with other props. Cassell says if the gun were merely a prop "it wouldn't be a weapon and we couldn't cite him for carrying a weapon." Now that being said, let's dissect this a bit. Jerry Lewis is still doing shows? God, he must love those kids. Somebody give that guy some money. Also, he's traveling to Detroit. Of course he's going to be strapped. I would be strapped if for some reason I'm ever going to Detroit…probably Michigan in general (Flint is the 3rd most dangerous city behind the epic battle between Detroit & East St. Louis). The Nutty Professor ain't stupid. That's why he's 82 years old. Anyway, hopefully this won't be a big thing and Mr. Lewis can get back to entertaining to raise money for the kids…apparently with Carrot Top's bag of props. "What's this green stuff in the bottle?" "Don't touch that. It's called Flubber. It's very volatile." "Volatile? HE'S GOT A BOMB!!!" "No, that would be the last six movies with Dino. NICE LADY!!!"

Jet Pack Update - The Martin jet pack can, in theory, fly an average-sized pilot about 30 miles in 30 minutes on a full 5-gallon tank of gas. The apparatus was unveiled Tuesday at AirVenture Oshkosh 2008, the annual aviation convention of the Experimental Aircraft Association in east-central Wisconsin (What? You didn't know?). As thousands looked on, inventor Glenn Martin's 16-year-old son Harrison donned a helmet, fastened himself to a prototype Martin jet pack and revved the engine, which sounded like a motorcycle. He eased about three feet off the ground, the engine roaring with a whine so loud that some kids covered their ears. With two spotters preventing the jet pack from drifting in a mild wind, the pilot hovered for 45 seconds and then set the device down as the audience applauded. "Wow, that went better than expected. People will look back on this as a moment in history." That remains to be seen. Federal regulations limit the use of such devices, and it's unclear whether people will shell out $100,000 for a jet pack whose capabilities have been demonstrated on paper but not in the air. I'm a little concerned because…well, what was Mr. Martin expecting exactly? Did he willingly strap his 16-year old son to a device that very well may have exploded? I would hope not…but I guess Jerry Lewis isn't the only Nutty Professor out there. If you've got $100,000 to spend, there's a jet pack waiting for you…but I'd wait until the cost goes down a bit.

Cell Phones & Cancer - Speaking of technology that kills, I read this article that talked about the link between cellular phones and cancer…and how Ronald Herberman, director of the University of Pittsburgh Cancer Institute, said that there's a link and provides some tips to help save your brain. However, the tone of the article was pretty satirical, so it may have been a little comedy thing or just a poorly written report (and I know a LOT about that). However, the thing is…though according to this article, there's "no convincing evidence" that cell phones cause cancer, there really is. Studies have been done over the past twenty years or so on the subject…and about three years ago I did a nice little report for one of my Ethics classes (stop laughing) about it…and yeah, rat brains were getting growths on really limited exposure (like two hours…or a plan of 120 minutes for one month). However, since it's big business, I'm sure that Big Ringtone has been keeping this research under wraps as best they can. Anyway, don't dismiss it just because the paper says so. You can't believe everything you read. For example, I'm a magnificent giving lover, as well as own about a dozen teddy bears and a pickup truck. See? That's false. My dad owns the pickup truck. I just borrow it from time to time to help people move. Anyway, use cell phones in moderation.

Sexbot Update - A robot that "enjoys" being cuddled and stroked has gone on display at London's Science Museum. The Heart Robot could be among the first robots to signify a new era of "emotional machines" used for medical treatment and enjoyment, according to one of its inventors. It has a beating heart which rises when the body is shaken, but slows down when treated calmly. In addition, Heart's eyes flutter in response to touch. David McGoran, of the University of the West of England, predicts the part-puppet, part-machine creation he helped develop is an example of how robots will increasingly adopt human characteristics. He believes there could be major implications for social care, with research already taking place into giving elderly care homes robots that express emotions. Mr. McGoran says, "This raises really interesting social and ethical questions." Yeah, I've got one...does nobody hug anymore? Have we become so closed off from one another and so defensive that we can't even find somebody to hug and feel a connection with anymore? Have we become too busy to show our Love & affection for others? Do we have to rely on robots to do our emotional duties now?

Don't get me wrong. I know there are situations where life-long bachelors and bachelorettes make it into the latter years...and they sadly have no family or friends around to help them cope...and that's a great situation for a robotic friend (or a puppy). Also, I realize that if you're going to drop some serious coin on a robotic partner that you'd want her to be as realistic as possible (minus the monthly visitor maybe...unless we're talking about the Geek Squad at Best Buy). Now, I'm a big cuddler. That may demasculate me a little bit...but it's true. Seeing as I'm probably going to be a life-long bachelor, by the way they get all the kinks worked out, I might appreciate not having to clean up after a puppy...but it's just a little sad is all. I think we can all agree that if the situation ever arises where you feel like you should hug somebody...you should probably just do it. Not one of those creepy hugs involving gentle fondling and sniffing of the hair whispering something silly in their ear...but just to show that you're there for them...and they feel that connection. Because as a wise man (me) once said, when you feel disconnected, that's when you fall apart. If anybody needs a hug, just let me know. Ain't no robot taking THAT job from me too...

Anyway, that'll do it for today. I'd like to congratulate Camb and her fiance on their wedding coming up this Friday. Sorry I won't make it to the party tonight because of work...but at least try to have fun without me. Have a great day everybody!!! Oh...and happy birthday to Cat and the Governator!!!

Dr. Love's Museum of the Stripping Arts

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Well, no new news on the job front other than my Boss Ladies suggested that I do some training in the meantime to up'n my resume...so I'll be doing that over the next few weeks while I wait for other certification and calls from Sin City. Awesome. Would've done it earlier if I knew it were an option...but cool. It'll make me a better employee prospect. After work, I went to Filly's to play some Rock Band with JL Clyde and Filly's friend Joey. It was fun of course. Anyway, that's about it...so here's some news articles that perked my interest.

Is Stripping an Art? - Yes. Were I writing an article with that headline, you would have just read the body of my argument. Yes. However, because I am not like everybody else out there (gasp) there are varying opinions out there. For example, Iowa doesn't have any all-nude strip clubs...but it does have performing arts centers where women dance naked. However, the loophole in the state's public indecent exposure law that allows nude dancing at "art centers" is under attack in the small community of Hamburg (population 1200). The case pending before a Fremont County judge effects only one business in Hamburg, but if he agrees with the prosecutor, it could eventually threaten the legal standing of nude dancing clubs across the state (collective gasp). Here's the best part of it for me though. It all began on July 21st last year (happy birthday Bubbles) when a 17-year-old niece of Sheriff Steven MacDonald climbed up on stage at Shotgun Geniez in Hamburg and stripped off her clothing.

Owner Clarence Judy was charged with violating Iowa's public indecent exposure law. Judy responded that the law doesn't apply to a "theater, concert hall, art center, museum, or similar establishments" devoted to the arts or theatrical performances. As lawyer Michael Murphy stated, "Dance has been considered one of the arts, as is sculpture, painting and anything else like that. What Clarence has is a club where people can come and perform." Murphy also noted that the club has a gallery selling collectible posters and other art...and provides patrons with sketch pads. Now you have an excuse to stare…but I'm guessing that most of the sketch pads look more like Rickshaw tests. Obviously Mr. Murphy's forgetting the real question of the matter…a 17-year old girl dancing naked ANYWHERE...but not Fremont County Attorney Margaret Johnson, "Are you saying that minors can't be protected? Can a group of 12-year-olds come down and go in and dance nude and it's OK? I don't think that's what the Legislature had in mind when it made those additional provisions." Johnson said the intent of the law is to allow movies in a theater where there's brief nudity or for an art gallery displaying paintings of nudes. Who's to say what our forefathers had in mind when the law was made? By the way, my grandma was 13 when she had her first child…and that wasn't unheard of fifty years ago. Times have changed a little bit. Murphy said Judy bans anyone under 18 from entering the five-year-old business. The problem, he said, was "a group of girls snuck in a 17-year-old. While she was there, she felt like dancing so she got up and danced on the stage and then she took her clothes off. Trouble with that is she's the sheriff's niece." Yeah, that's the problem. If it were his daughter, niece, little sister, loved one, there'd be no problem whatsoever, right? Anyway, I just thought it raised an interesting question.

So is Stripping an Art? Let me know what you think. I'm pretty sure that you know where I stand on the subject. I don't know art…but I know what I like. Also, keep in mind that art isn't art just because you like it or understand it. That's just what makes it good art to you. Believe me, I've been to many art galleries & museums in my day…and some of it (especially modern art), I wouldn't really categorize as good art…but it's still an expression of the human condition or teenage angst or whatever else those pretentious hippies used to babble on about down at the exhibits at the quad. If it moves you (and stripping, even baaaaad stripping…like Tuesday afternoons when bullet wounds are on display, moves me one way or the other) then it could be art. I don't know. That's just my opinion, what's yours? Let's take a caller...

Worst Cartoon Death Ever - A Russian woman in St Petersburg killed her drunk husband with a folding couch, Russian media reported on July 9th. St Petersburg's Channel Five said the man's wife, upset with her husband for being drunk and refusing to get up, kicked a handle after an argument, activating a mechanism that folds the couch up against a wall. The couch, which doubles as a bed, folds up automatically in order to save space. The man fell between the mattress and the back of the couch. The woman then walked out of the room and returned three hours later to check on what she thought was an unusually quiet sleeping husband. The St Petersburg Emergency Services Ministry said a private rescue service removed the man's body (KGB?). Video on the television channel's website (couldn't find a link) showed emergency workers sawing away the side panels of a couch to remove a man in his underwear lying headfirst between the cushions. Emergency workers said the man died instantly. I could only hope so. Think about the wife. In a little spit of anger, she ended up killing her husband…in one of the most hilariously brutal ways EVER. You'd have to laugh just to keep from crying. This seems like a way to that one of the Three Stooges would have passed away. Oh man, now I'm going to go home and watch some Three Stooges thinking about that. I guess it's how I handle grief. Be careful out there with your drinking guys…because you never know when your Russian mail-order bride could incidentally have you killed. I'm looking at you, Mad Scientist.

What can BROWN do for you? - Jeff Hornagold loved being a UPS driver. So when the suburban Chicago man died this week of lung cancer, longtime co-worker Michael McGowan agreed to take him on one last delivery. (Wait for it) McGowan transported Hornagold's body from Davenport Family Funeral Home to Saturday's funeral services in his UPS truck. McGowan says he plans to keep a picture of Hornagold in his truck until he retires so that they can keep riding together (Oh that's not creepy at all). Hornagold was a UPS driver for 20 years and his wife Judy Hornagold described him as "just the happiest UPS man alive" (which I would think is like saying the highest peak in Rhode Island) and says the special delivery was the perfect tribute. Well, being a fellow package deliverer and eternal optimist, I would like to pay tribute to Mr. Hornagold the best and most fitting way that I know how...but showing his former coworker that made him the happiest UPS man alive. Rest in peace, playa.

Trust me, there were a lot dirtier pictures of my UPS girl for Mr. Hornagold...but this is a PG-13 blog. That'll do it for today, so have a great day everybody!!! See ya tomorrow...hopefully with some blogworthy news.

Nelly Climbs Into Diddy's Underpants

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

More on the title of this entry later. Yesterday my brother called and really wanted to hang out…like, he bribed me with thirty bucks to come hang out with him. Of course when it was all said & done, he ended up just buying dinner…so I really drove down there for three pieces of Dominos Pizza, which filled my stomach for a few moments…but not my gas tank. Remind me never to fall for that stuff again. Also, we hung out…and my niece was there most of the time…but he basically just talked about last week and how mad it made him and everything…so I just kind of zoned out as he talked half the day…and the other half was me playing with my niece Kairi, who's getting ever so spongy that I really have to watch what I say around her. Now, my brother swears like a sailor…so she's pretty much doomed to half of her vocabulary being four-letter words…but I'll be damned if I get blamed for it by her mother because she overheard her daughter swear. If she says "Your mom" or "That's what she said" or "I'm Rick James, bitch!" completely out of context…then maybe you can blame me. If you're reading this Ashley, don't blame me for her vulgar language…blame me for her tongue gestures and fondness for high fives & fist bumps.

Other than that, we watched "The Incredible Hulk" with Edward Norton, Tim Roth, and Liv Tyler. It was…exactly what you would expect. So to say this may be a bit of a spoiler…is a bit of a stretch. Bruce Banner (Norton) is on the run from the government. Government finds him. Stan Lee cameo. Chase scene. Hulk get mad. Hulk smash. Hulk take nap. Bruce meets up with old girlfriend (Tyler). Lou Ferrigno cameo. Government finds him. Chase scene. Hulk get mad. Hulk smash. Hulk save girl. Hulk take nap with girl. Government makes a monster. Monster hurts people. Hulk get mad. Hulk smash. Iron Man cameo. Roll credits. It was still pretty cool and I like the Hulk comics and all…but yeah, it's exactly what you expected…and about a thousand times better than the other "Hulk" movie made by Ang Lee a few years ago. So yeah, if you like comic book movies…you've probably already checked this out…but if not, give it a shot. You might like it. It even has a few funny moments. Translated from Portuguese: "You wouldn't like me when I'm...hungry."

My Big Fat Geek Wedding - Comic-Con was this weekend in San Diego and the video game, comic, movie, and electronics giants were all in attendance with upcoming news, demonstrations, rumor speculation, and the like. Now, normally I'd be all over that stuff (at least the ones that I give a damn about) but then I read this story about weddings at Comic-Con…and you know this blog is pretty much Bohemian always talking about Truth, Beauty, Freedom and above all Love. About fifty people showed up to this wedding dressed as Jedi Knights, Storm Troopers, Elvis, and other characters for a "Star Wars" themed wedding. Friday's wedding ceremony, based on the language, costume and lore of a fictional Mandalorian race in the "Star Wars" movies, was the brain child of Tenille Kuhlman, 30, and Thomas Kuhlman, 39, avid fans who decided that the convention was a perfect place to gather far-flung members of their close-knit Star Wars fan club to celebrate their special day. The couple met online two years ago (shocking), said Tenille Kuhlman, who said she was at first was hesitant to embrace the Mandalorian lifestyle. "When I met him I knew what every Joe Blow knows about 'Star Wars.' It just sort of turned into life for us." Oh, it gets better.

The guests -- in full regalia including helmets, boots and jet packs -- formed two lines and created a light sabre arch leading toward the altar. "I don't have my fake gun!" somebody shouted. "That's OK," said another guest. "This is a wedding ceremony. I left mine in the car." The crowd fell silent as Tenille, escorted by armour-clad P.J. Reindel, a police officer from California who she met online, walked her down the aisle toward Thomas, who stood under an archway decorated with white faux roses. The bride and groom held their helmets in their hands, a solemn sign of Mandalorian respect. As they grasped wrists, Tom Hutchens, a 30-year-old IT professional and erstwhile Mandalorian preacher, began the ceremony. Wow!!! People thought I was weird because I want to dress up as superheroes (Superman and Wonder Woman) and have the instrumental theme to Monday Night Football play as we walk down the aisle…but now I don't seem so crazy, do I? Luckily, like the naming of my future children, I will probably have no say in the wedding arrangements either. We'll just have to save the dressing up for the honeymoon…or realistically, the weekends prior.

Nelly Climbs Into Diddy's Underpants - I figured (and was really, really hoping) that the story was going to have nothing to do with what I was thinking…but I just wanted to share the headline with you anyway. You're welcome.

Anyway, that'll do it for today. Have a great day everybody!!! Good to be back at work…for the time being.

Part 6 - Home Again

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Day 12 - Great Falls

Really nothing much happened this day. My brother, sister-in-law, and kids are back in the same house now...so that's a start. My brother's still mad at my stepdad for calling the cops...and yeah, it may have been a dumb move...but it's what normal people do. Needless to say, my family is not normal people...and we don't like cops. Other than that, nothing really happened until my mom came home from work (another nerve-wrenching day) and said that the Montana State Fair started tonight...so we went. Now, I haven't gone to a Utah State Fair in many years...despite living two blocks from the Fairgrounds for almost five years. Carnival rides are okay, people watching will definitely make you feel better about yourself, the food is HORRIBLE for you but there's plenty of it...and everybody loves kettle corn, and I'm pretty good at feigning interest. That being said...I can not even FEIGN interest when my mom's looking at quilts. I tried. God help me, I tried...but it was just too much. "Oh look at this one, it's handstitched." "Oh my gosh, really? Sorry mom, I'm really trying to give a sh*t but apparently my mind's being stingy with it." Also ladies, just so you know, whenever you say something like, "Oh...look how cute this is" a man will immediately question what he's doing there, try to track the sequence of events that led to this situation so as never to let it happen again, and try to come up with something to say to acknowledge that he heard you, try to sound like he cares, and not sound like he has his own show on Bravo. It's a complex thought process...so when it takes a few seconds for a response...and all you hear is something along the lines of "Yup, that's cool" be happy that we are at least there with you, holding your purse while you fondle somebody's fancy blanket at the Montana State Fair. Anyway, here are some pictures of the fair...because I know you've been waiting for them...

Unicorns, El Chupacabra, Mermaids, none really there...

My mom really likes tractors...you're welcome Mom

A large train set made by grown men...

Remember my rant about quilts?

Here's one thing that made me giggle...just say it with heavy breath...

We went home and had plans to turn into bed early...but basically got caught watching TV until roughly midnight because we're cool like that. It's really no big deal though...because we're used to 4-6 hours of sleep a day and we had alarms set for 6 AM to start driving home. Also, it didn't really matter because Bubbles went to the Coheed & Cambria concert in Vegas this night...and I told her to give me a call when she got home safe (always worry about her driving around on weekends...because at least half of Vegas is drunk) so she did...around 2 AM. You may think that would ruin my sleeping habits...but it really put me at ease...and I rather enjoy when a lovely young lady calls me up late at night. "Did I wake you?" "I don't know...did you? Or am I still dreaming? What're you wearing?" Okay, so I left out that last part...but both Mediocre Gatsby & Anonymous Karimzada agree, chicks love it when you tell them what you're wearing...and guys like it too. No need to thank me, just pay it forward.

Day 13 - Great Falls to Slick City

We (I) woke up around 6 AM and we were on the road by 7:15 or so. We drove...and drove...and drove...and ate some Arby's in Idaho Falls...then drove....and drove...and drove some more. Then I made it home around 5 PM and basically relaxed the rest of the night. JL Clyde sent me a few text messages from her random trip to Vegas with some new vegan friends in a van...but that's really about it. That being said...here are a few pictures of the trip...

Oh look at the fall colors...with conifers...

Apparently it's a bad tree disease causing it...not the fall

This is the HUGE hole in Butte

Oh...and I caught up with the Wingmans and the way that Karma has come back around to make their lives dramatic and hilarious at the same time. As I may have said, they have a custody battle thing...but because the State of Utah ALWAYS sides with the mother no matter what (even when verbal & physical abuse, knives, and death threats are involved...shhhhh) it was time for Karma to step in a little bit. I don't want to go into details (because it's better if they tell you anyway) but it involves an otherwise Gloomy Gus day for them...until the eldest son stumbles upon his mom's toy...and it's a big'un...and asking her what it is...while child protective services is counseling her parenting skills in her home. I laughed so hard that it was difficult to breathe when I was being told. Then the pictures were sent...and apparently there's video but my cell phone sucks. Wish I could share with you...but this is a PG-13 blog. Great day!!!

Now I'm back home and doing laundry and bills and all the other stuff that I should've been doing over the last two weeks. My brother said that he may be stopping by today...but I'm not holding my breath. Driving around with the kids can be a pain in the ass. Anyway, that's really about it. Back to work tomorrow...and I think the next eight days straight. Hopefully I'll find out a little bit about Vegas soon...but we'll see. It'll happen when it's destined to, right? Anyway, here's a quiz that I was sent a couple weeks ago. Hope you enjoy...

1. I Love...family, friends, bacon, pandas, and women (order tends to vary)

2. Right now I want...satisfaction

3. I feel like...going to Vegas for a few days

4. I hate it when...people drive like crap around me

5. I fear...Big Brother and the Media

6. I'm lonely without...my many vivid personalities

7. I need...to prepare to move because I'm optimistic about a new job

8. Today I...am going to catch up on housework from the last two weeks

9. Tomorrow I'm...going back to work. Yay!!!

10. I just...farted

11. I want to meet...Wonder Woman

12. I'm hungry for...pizza, pasta, and other 5-letter P-words

13. I love it when...somebody says my name in passion

14. I'm afraid of...genital herpes (God damn commercials)

15. I'm listening to...Mythbusters (meeting Kari Byron would be...stimulating) - I still think my idea of "Nutbusters" would be a great show...just maybe not on the Discovery Channel.

16. I'm wearing... Jeans and a T-shirt

17. I wish I was in...side of a beautiful woman

18. I'm craving...the usual

19. I want to get...laid and maybe a new job that I enjoy thoroughly and still pays the bills

20. I can...do anything because I am, I am Superman

21. I can't...understand women but at least I'm trying a little bit

22. I have...an abundance of trivial knowledge that nobody really cares about

23. I haven't...found the One yet

24. My Mom thinks I'm...the greatest thing to ever happen to her

25. My Dad thinks I'm...the greatest thing to ever happen to him

26. I think...too much

27. I'm happy when...I make people smile

28. I'm sad when...girls & babies cry

29. I like eating...lots of juicy things

30. I hate eating...brains

31. I love watching...scantily clad women dance

32. I love listening to...music and people talking

33. I like playing... basketball, video games, and with others

34. I can see...your doodle

35. I'm glad that...people enjoy my company

36. I'm disappointed that...my job has gone down the shitter so gradually over the past few years

37. I look like...that dude in your greatest fantasies, like Harry Potter

38. I wish I looked like...$teve

Have a great day everybody!!!

Back to Normal Stuff?

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

I've been on this trip for two weeks now...and have basically sapped Great Falls off all the fun that I could find...so I thought that I'd update you a bit on some of the news going on around the world that you won't hear on CNN or any of those other news networks (because it has nothing to do with Presidential races, violence, missing babies, crazy mommies, and the like) to maybe get you through the day. So here it goes...

Nate Dogg Arrested for Stalking...his Wife - The rapper, whose real name is Nathaniel Dwayne Hale, was charged July 7th. He was arrested last month by the California Highway Patrol (CHiPs) after his wife claimed he was threatening her and following her as she drove on a freeway south of Los Angeles. His attorney, Mark Geragos, said he looked forward to defending his client in court, "Unfortunately he's had a tough year and we look forward to getting him through it." Apparently it hasn't been that tough of a year if he can hire a good lawyer...but it has been a while since I've heard Nate Dogg's smooth voice on a tune. Think about it. The guy is basically the ultimate chorus singer in the hip-hop community. Sometimes they'll even through in a verse for him too, just to keep him happy. It's sad that he has to go through all this stuff...but I guess the law is the law...and the rhythm is the bass and the bass is the trebllllllllle. Sorry, just had to regulate the G-Funk while he's got some legal problems.

Small Dogs Have Napoleon Complex Too - Small dogs, especially dachshunds a.k.a. Wiener Dogs, are more likely to attack strangers and other dogs than pitbulls, rottweilers and other macho breeds. US researchers sent questionnaires to the owners of 30 breeds of dogs to assess how their pet responded to a variety of common stimuli and situations. Dachshunds, chihuahuas and Jack Russell terriers topped the list for aggressiveness, while Brittany spaniels, greyhounds and whippets were the most docile. The study appears in Applied Animal Behaviour Science, circulation of I'm guessing a few dozen. So Napoleon Complex isn't just for man...but for his best friend too? When will it stop? It must be genetic or something. Even Wiener Dogs have Penis Envy. By the way, I'd like to apologize to any dachshund owners out there for calling them by their unofficial, yet widely-accepted name...and suggest that you run for your life...or get them before they get you & your children.

Worse than Beware of Dog - An unexpected sexual curse has been uncovered by archaeologists at Cyprus's old city kingdom of Amathus, on the island's south coast near Limassol. "A curse is inscribed in Greek on a lead tablet and part of it reads: 'May your penis hurt when you make love'," Pierre Aubert, head of Athens Archaeological School in Greece told the English language Cyprus Weekly. He said the tablet showed a man standing holding something in his right hand that looks like an hour glass (really?). The inscription dates back to the 7th century AD when Christianity was well established on the island, leading the French professor to surmise that it referred to the activity of witchcraft or shamans surviving from the pagan era. Not a bad threat to have as someone enters your home. "Don't steal my stuff...or it'll burn when you pee." Then again, it may not be a real big threat once I move down to Vegas.

Speaking of One-Night Stands - When it comes to one-night stands, men and women are poles apart. Guys just want, well, you know, while gals go to bed with the false impression of flattery and a craving for feeling desirable. The upshot, according to new research, is great for most men and the pits for most women. The study goes further under the covers, delving into the nuances of casual sex and its potential as a Venus-and-Mars minefield. Among the findings: Women were not hooking up in an effort to secure a long-term beau, but because they felt flattered by the overnight proposition. "Often [women] said things like, 'I felt so flattered, so happy that he found me attractive. It was so nice to be wanted,'" said researcher Anne Campbell, a psychologist at Durham University in England. "What women don't seem to see is that men drop their standards massively for a one-night stand. No woman should be flattered because a man wants to have sex with her once." Honestly though, is this really news? Anyway, if you more interested in this experiment, there are some details in the link that talk about it being really bad for girls and really good for guys and all of that stuff...but yeah, it is what it is. If you're going to do it, at least do it with somebody who really thinks that you ladies are amazing...and will cuddel with you...and make you breakfast the next morning...like oh I don't know...your friendly neighborhood non-profit gigolo / doctor Mookie Love. Hope you like pancakes. (Sigh) I've almost forgot what making out is like...with only the occasional dream and supercheesy romantic comedy there to remind me (tear). By the way, your hair looks great...

Robocop Reloaded? - Keeping up the Hollywood rerun theme, MGM has hired director Darren Aronofsky to pull a Christopher Nolan and reboot the dormant Robocop franchise. Aronofsky is teaming with writer David Self ("Road to Perdition") to come up with a new story about the cyborg police officer set for 2010. The original 1987 feature, directed by Paul Verhoeven, spawned two sequels as well as a short-lived TV series and video games. Okay, so let me get this straight. The director of a movie that turned mathematics into a black & white thriller ("Pi"), the creepiest sexy Jennifer Connelly movie ever ("Requiem for a Dream"), and quite possibly the chickiest flick of all time...even though starring Wolverine ("The Fountain") is about to remake "Robocop"? Awesome. Now, I've seen all three of those Aronofsky movies...and they were all pretty good (visually memorable...and gives you a queezy feeling in your stomach...but when appropriate). I hate to say it...but I also kind of like the Robocop trilogy. Number two especially...for the same reason that I enjoy "Starship Troopers" and all those other Verhoeven movies. They're just so bad that they're good. So I'm at the very least curious how Darren Aronofsky's going to do Robocop. My guess...a lot of special effects...and Robocop's going to have a heroin addiction...and sexbots. We'll see if I'm right.

That'll do it for me today. Not a whole lot planned...but at least I get to go home tomorrow. It's been too long. I miss my friends. Not necessarily the family...because my mom's been here the whole time & the rest are ass crackers crazy...but yeah, I'm ready to get back to work for a bit too...and find out what the hell is going on with Las Vegas. Hope you guys enjoyed this trip as much as I did. Have a groovy weekend!!!

Part 5 - Great Falls, Montana

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Day 8 - Great Falls

We had breakfast at our hotel and then drove to the Visitor's Center to see if we could get a good map...but as we pulled in, a kind old man by the name of Buck had coaxed my mom into a bus tour of the city while my back was turned. So I had to pay $45 to do something that we were going to do anyway. Thanks mom. At least he was a nice guy...with no fingers on his right hand. I wanted to ask him how he had lost them...but I assume he would have told me what he told all the kids down at the trout hatchery, "Don't forget the bait. Those things are blood-thirsty." Probably frostbite or something living up in Great Falls for many years. Anyway, we drove around to the various falls (now blocked by electricity-producing dams), downtown, and a few other sights. Famous American explorers Lewis & Clark spent a month here during their 1805 journey due to rough terrain, ample supplies to restock as they continue West, and an IHOP on every corner (Indian House of Pancakes). Here are the pictures...

"Well William, it looks like we'll be staying here for a while."

"I call dibs on Sacagawea!!!" "Seconds!!!"

Okay, just so you know, her husband was on the trip too

We all found out almost too late

Here's a picture of Buck's Trolley

Look at these roaring falls...capped by power-producing dams

In case you were wondering, this is what they

looked like back when everything was black & white

Paris Gibson Park on the Missouri River

Statue of famous resident C.M. Russell downtown

After the tour, we had lunch at the MacKenzie River Pizza Company on River Road and had some Fence Posts (bread sticks stuffed with pepperoni, pesto, and cheese) and an Alfredo Chicken Pizza with Feta Cheese. Good stuff...and the waitress was cute. After that, we headed to the Charles M. Russell Museum. For those who don't know, C.M. Russell was the guy who made all those fantastic paintings of the Old West about a hundred years ago before it was completely ransacked by the industrial world. Here's a brief story of his life. He was born & raised in a well-to-do family in St. Louis. Then at 16, he was a gifted painter but wanted to go see the West that he had heard about from his Uncle. The family, thinking he would come running back once getting his hands dirty, obliged him...but he only came back for the holidays from then on. He took up odd jobs and was completely infatuated with the ways of the West and all the majesty that it possessed. As he grew older, he stayed with some of the tribes, cattle runs, and all the other experiences depicted in his works. At age 32, he married a lovely 18-year old named Nancy...and she's the one who said, "You know, you could sell this stuff for some serious cash, sweetie." Before meeting her, he was just a guy who had a lot of talent & unrealized potential...but then she came along and turned him into an iconic figure in the art world. Before long, he was just living the dream in the city of Great Falls. Paint during the day, spending time with his lovely wife, then ride his horse Monty downtown to the bar, where he could pay with his drinks by doodling on a piece of paper for the barkeep. Sweet life, right? Here are the pictures of his museum...

His wife of thirty years, Nancy

Either there are too many paintballers in Montana

or this buffalo is quite flamboyant

"Tell us where the others are!!!"

"For God's sake, they're right behind you."

You may see this as a blurry photo of a C.M. Russell masterpiece

I see it as a C.M. Russell masterpiece...in Monet-Vision

My favorite thing about C.M. Russell's work

is that it shows that Native Americans are just like us

and experience life similarly to the way we do

"You know honey, Swallows Her Fist got a new Buffalo robe last week."

"Gee, I wonder how she got that..."

"Are you sure this doesn't make me look gay?"

More on the Buffalo Jump...

The Funeral Carriage of C.M. Russell

His studio

His home in Great Falls

I wonder if this was the baby's room

Let's see. High chair, giant record player, washboard,

ice pick, woodworking tools, and a vice grip.

Oh wait, this might be a better room...with a theme

The Master Bedroom, where he passed away

Notice the gated-off area for his wife's stuff...

there's more closet space on the right full of dresses

After the museum, it was getting a little hot...and there was really nothing else to see in the town, so we headed back to the room...and I entered the blog post that I did yesterday, got calls and text messages from the Wingmans, JL Clyde, my sister-in-law, and Bubbles (I got her some flowers for her birthday...and both her & Keanna liked them a lot), and watched some TV while hanging with my mom. There was a lot of stuff about "The Dark Knight" breaking all sorts of weekend box office numbers...and on the History Channel, there were shows about the Gadgetry & Psychology of the movie, so I flipped between that and "Batman Begins" playing on FX. Good times. I do like the Bat Man. Anyway, that was really about it...then I went to sleep because I had to drive my mom to work the next morning.

Day 9 - Great Falls

The morning started with me dropping my mom off with a couple guys by the Malmstrom Air Force Base...which is really out in the middle of the prairie...and you can see for miles in any direction out there and not really see much until some mountains on the horizon. After dropping her off, I went back to the hotel...and figured that blogging would be a good idea since I really didn't have much else to do...and the internet connection was good. I also just kind of needed a day to relax & not run around all day...or entertain myself & my mother during a ten-hour day in the car or something like that. This was the day that hit the spot. I honestly don't have any pictures from this day. I walked around the immediate area by the hotel just to get some fresh air (on the busiest road in all of Montana...which is kind of like saying the highest peak in Rhode Island), some lunch, walk through the mall across the street, nothing much, then returned to the room...and blogged again. Yeah, pretty lame day...and it was just getting lamer.

My sister-in-law called me up...and she was in tears. Not a good sign. Long story short, she wanted to present my brother with an alta matum (poor Latin knowledge) of changing his ways...or separating. I tried to console her and offer suggestions for other methods...but in all honesty, my brother is a stubborn jackass (as has been documented). They love each other...and they love their children...but she's willing to change & compromise...and my brother isn't...and that's the basic conflict. Drama, drama, drama. So she hangs up with me...and will let me know what happens. My mom gets back to the hotel and we head to a Mongolian Bar-B-Q place in a nearby strip mall called...well, Mongolian BBQ. Simple enough, right? For those who haven't had it, you throw in all the ingredients you want, add some great sauces to suit your taste, and somebody fries it all up on a round flat hotplate...and like magic, you have a wonderful meal. My Fortune Cookie for the Day - "The joyfulness of a man prolongs his day...in bed." I would also like to add, vice versa, "His day in bed prolongs the joyfulness of a man." As soon as we finished our meal, the calls started coming in from the family.

Here's what I've gathered from varying testimonies. My stepdad had picked up the kids so they didn't have to see my brother & sister-in-law talk (yell & berate), they talked, apparently my brother flipped (believable because he called me and could barely breathe he was so pissed), my sister left and went somewhere with the kids (have no idea where...and as long as they're safe, I didn't care), the cops were called because threats were said, allegedly restraining orders were filed this morning, my brother's been talking to my dad (who reacted a lot like this in the past) and got some advice as far as getting a lawyer, etc. and it seems like the drama will continue for some time. Can't wait to see how it turns out, $teve said sarcastically.

Anyway, after that, my mom & I consoled those who called us (all of them in varying orders...because we're both such great listeners) and basically just watched TV including an E! True Hollywood Story about Hugh Hefner which was very interesting to me. I never knew that he was married...TWICE!!! Anyway, check it out if you're ever interested...and I guarantee that it's more interesting than the drama that I've been going through the past few days. Some crap straight outta COPS. "HUAH BAD BOYS!!!"

Day 10 - Great Falls

After having breakfast at the hotel, I went to see the Lewis & Clark Interpretive Center to see the exhibits about the epic journey of Capt. Meriwether Lewis and William Clark...along with the others on the journey like Sacagawea...and apparently she had a husband on the journey too. Who knew? Oh...and Lewis & Clark's dog's name...was Seaman. Go ahead and giggle. I did too...surrounded by elderly people who apparently didn't think it was as funny as I did. Apparently, your sense of humor diminishes along with your senses of taste, hearing, sight, and perspective when you get older...but they were great cats otherwise.

They had park rangers show us how to pitch a tipi (not like I learned in my early adolescence...in my pants) and how they tried to construct a steel boat to make trekking the Missouri River easier...but ultimately failed for them. Anyway, here are some pictures of the center...

Because of the falls, they had to trek this way through Great Falls

"Majestic beauty, my ass!!!"

This ranger was showing me how to make a boat out of iron, willow, and hides...

So why was I pitching a tipi?

Oh yeah, it's real...and it's going on that boat eventually

Along the Missouri River...

Mural downtown showing Clark running from a Grizzly...

despite having a rifle in his hand

Got some lunch at Taco John's (yes, again but it's so good) and then blogged because...well, there really wasn't much else to do. I've pretty much done all there was to do in Great Falls (besides co-eds at Montana State) and for me to drive to Glacier National Park as previously thought...would basically be me, alone in a car, trying to navigate & gawk at nature's wonders, for somewhere in the range of 8-12 hours, to see mountains and melting ice. Sure, that's kind of the downward side of the argument...but yeah, really didn't want to spend an entire day by myself in a rental car that I can barely see under the roof in (not designed for tall gentlemen) to see more mountains...so I apologize for anybody anticipating pictures of that. Oh yeah, then more drama as my brother started calling me during the day because whenever he wasn't talking to somebody, he dwelled on his kids being with his wife (weird as that sounds) and would get really sick and vomit. Nice, right? He then mentioned that I was probably going to be his chief witness if it goes to court...and that's NOT going to happen. It's better for both of them if that's not the case...because I think they're both ass crackers crazy...but they love those kids.

Then I got a call from my sister-in-law, who can't contact my brother because of the order earlier in the day...and she wanted me to call Kiel to see if he REALLY wanted to get a divorce or if he was just angry...because she was ready to fill out the paperwork if he was serious. (Frustrated sigh...because now I'm their marriage counselor) Long story short, I act as interpreter for the two of them...and when it was all said and done, I temporarily saved their marriage...and they allegedly want to work it out...which is fantastic, I think. I don't know. I didn't flower anything up, I just translated for them, and hopefully in the next few days they can communicate with eachother. They're already talking about marriage counseling (from a professional instead of a non-profit gigolo) and making changes...so we'll see how it goes. My brother's still very angry with my stepdad about the cops being called...but whatever. Drama, drama, drama. I talked to Bubbles for a few minutes...and that really helped. Then mom & I went to the Pita Pit, I ate a Chicken Crave with Feta, and all was well with the world...as we watched Monsterquest's search for El Chupacabra "The Goat Sucker" and other TV programs. Slept like a baby.

Day 11 - Great Falls

Breakfast at the hotel again. Didn't really do much the rest of the day by myself...because there really wasn't much to do. I did watch some "Burn Notice" on a new episodes marathon (always seems to be a marathon on when I have nothing to do) and a few History Channel shows about Nostradamus and Nikola Tesla. It got me thinking about a few things. In Nostradamus' case, it got me thinking skeptically about some of his predictions...though in the past, I've paid a lot of attention to them, especially during junior high and stuff. I'm sure a lot of you know about all the predictions about Napoleon, World War II, and now with the War on Terror and some kind of Islamic invasion based on this "Lost Book" which may or may not have anything to do with him (evidence was a little sketchy). The thing is...his ideas got him in trouble with the church...and allegedly had to hide this "Lost Book" away because it talked about the fall of the church, the end of the world, and specifically when it was going to happen. Which really kind of creeped me out...because it's coming up really soon. According to analysis of the text & illustrations, it's when the sun aligns with the 13th constellation of the Zodiac, Ophiuchus, which I didn't even know existed...and aligns with the center of the Milky Way galaxy. The thing is...it's aligned with it right now...until 2012, which is the same year that the Mayan Calender apparently ends. For somebody with some kind of faith in this kind of stuff, yeah it creeps me out a bit. Anyway, keep an eye out for the Anti-Christ.

As for Tesla, the thing that I saw about him basically said that he invented...pretty much everything important in the last hundred or so years...and Edison instead of being a beacon of experimentation and perseverance was a heartless dick who screwed him over on every opportunity to keep his fortune. Nikola Tesla has patents in just about everything concerning electricity, wireless electricity, radio (which he was honored with inventing shortly after he died), soundwaves, death rays (not joking), radar, and probably a few kick-ass chocolate chip cookie recipes. He was also OCD, didn't care for the company of women (unsexual), had a thing with threes (part of his OCD), and basically ended up dying in a hotel room that he spent the last ten years of his life in alone & found several days postmortum. He went through a lot of scrutiny, criticism, and put up with a lot of low-down stuff from Edison and other major industries because he found a better way of doing things that cut into their profits. Like Galileo and other great inventors before him, I can almost hear people during the Industrial Revolution watching him doing these incredible things, saying these fantastical numbers of how much cheaper it is, and somebody yelling out, "He's a WITCH!!! BURN HIM!!!" Why are men of great passion, ideas, ambition, and other great things...always the first to be scrutinized and attacked? Fear of change? Jealousy? Sure he's got a few quirks...but that's why he sees the world differently...and finds these new things. Oh well, he's dead now...but his legacy lives on whenever you...well, do anything electrical...like read my blog. God bless you by the way!!!

My mom got home a little early (apparently she had discussions with a silly old man that she works with and it ended with "Shut the f**k up!!!") so then we went to have dinner at Applebee's along River Road (lots of hot young girls working there by the way) and went to a nearby festival called Alive at Five (not sure what it was for). Basically there was a rock band singing some sort of metal version of popular songs...and a lot of carnival food outlets like cotton candy, kettle corn, and navajo tacos. Then we went to the Mall across the street to see some of these Aluminum Critters, which are lawn decorations / statues made out of recycled aluminium cans...and sold for an ungodly amount of money. Anyway, here are the pictures...

Aluminum Critters

Giraffes, elephants, and monkeys with hats

My mom likes dinosaurs

...and giant cocks.

Well, that'll do it for today. Hope you all enjoyed the pretty pictures and learned a little something maybe. Have a great day & I'll see ya when I see ya. Let me know what you think about the new blog. I know, it's exactly like the old one right now...but it'll probably change. I'm thinking of several different new titles. The Mad Scientist suggests "Dr. Mookie Love II - Electric Boo-Galoo" and I have to admit, I like the sound of it...and I'm always down for roller disco...but I was also thinking of more of a Batman theme for sequels like "Dr. Love Returns", "Dr. Love Forever", "Dr. Love & the Post-Coital Cigarette" (future name of my funk band), "Dr. Love Begins" (probably a look back at my early days), and "Doc After Dark" for examples. As of right now, it's just a generational thing with Junior, followed by the 3rd, IVth, Vth, etc. Open to suggestions though. Have a great day everybody!!!