Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
No update on the job front in the past few days...but hey, I'm still optimistic. The Wingman stopped by on short notice last night and we had dinner at Winger's (they have some pretty good wings) and watched some "Californication" and we've realized that the show's gimmick is David Duchovny having sex with a different hot chick every episode (one episode was questionable, it needed some elaboration because it was an ex-girlfriend from a previous episode) but we're pretty convinced that his contract for that show states that fact and that there must be at least two references to him having a gigantic penis per show. Pretty uneventful evening other than that. The city shuts down after 9 PM and the gentlemen's clubs suck balls (the bad way) here in Utah anyway. Seriously, you get more at a dance club. That's why the drinks are more expensive. Now you know the drill. No need to thank me. Go to Vegas. Also, on a little side note, apparently my Wingman stumbled upon an erotic short story that I wrote one night when I couldn't sleep on my laptop...and he thinks that I might've missed my calling. I may have to look into a little side career as a smut novelist / sex addict like David Duchovny's character...with different neuroses. Anyway, I'll keep you posted on that too. Here's some news...
This Week in Celebrity Hair - A pile of hair believed snipped from Elvis Presley when he joined the U.S. Army in 1958 sold for $18,300 on Sunday, according to a Chicago auction house. The King's hair was one of about 200 items of Elvis memorabilia collected by the late Gary Pepper, who was the president of the Tankers Fan Club set up for Elvis fans. The top price of $62,800 was paid for a cream collared cotton shirt with the monogram EP that came with a magazine showing the King wearing the shirt (or at least one similar, wink wink). It had been expected to sell for between $2,000 and $4,000. A red ultrasuede shirt, which was also expected to sell for between $2,000 and $4,000, and was also believed to have been worn by Elvis sold for $34,000. Chicago-based Leslie Hindman Auctioneers posted the results of the auction on its website, saying the lot of hair sold for $18,300 which topped the expected price of between $8,000 and $12,000. All prices on its website included the buyer's premium. The auction house said the hair was given to Pepper to mail to Presley fans. No DNA test was carried out on the hair but the auctioneer quoted "an expert in celebrity hair authentication," John Reznikoff, saying it matched the Elvis hair he has in his collection (dark & highly stylized?). No details of the winning bidder were immediately available. Elvis died (yes, he did, deal with it) in 1977 at the age of 42. That's right. Over eighteen grand for a lock of hair...that may or may not really be that of the King. That's even more appalling than the fully-loaded Mercedes S-Class for a cotton shirt. At least with that you can wear it and stay warm. I guess when Cloning's a big thing again the hair might come in handy...but until then some Elvis fan just has entirely too much money to spend. I'd hate for this to happen...
Celebrity Hair: Part 2 - A Cleveland museum has learned that what it thought was a lock of hair from aviation heroine Amelia Earhart...is just thread. A group looking for DNA evidence of the pioneer aviator on a Pacific island recently asked the International Women's Air and Space Museum for a sample of the "hair" for comparison. Museum executive director Toni Mullee says an analysis determined the specimen was thread that looked like hair. Mullee says the museum acquired the artifact 20 years ago from the Smithsonian Institution, which had gotten it from a Pennsylvania man. The museum has had it on exhibit next to a book with an anecdote about a White House maid who saved some Earhart hair from a wastebasket. Mullee says the thread will stay on display, with a full explanation. Probably ending with "so...enjoy this piece of string...that may be from a wastebasket in the White House...or from the pocket of a snake oil salesman from Scranton...or it may have something to do with Amelia Earhart. We don't know. It's part of the Mystery that is History." That's like the Elvis fan that bought the lock of hair finding out it's a chimpanzee's ass clippings from a local zoo.
One The Next Episode of Cops - Where's the video footage on this one? Police in Naples are on the lookout for cocaine. Somehow, they lost their stash. A 2-gram packet was discovered missing this summer from a narcotics kit used in training. Two officers lost it in April...but they're unsure where. It could've been the police parking lot...or an airport rental car, but the likely spot was a hotel (yeah, that's where I lose my blow too). The veteran pair checked out the kit to train their police dogs, but the one who usually handles the drugs was called to a scene. By the time she returned, the dogs were energetic and destroying the room (maybe they found something left in the room from the night before?). The officers said they were focusing more on straightening up the hotel room than collecting the drugs, so the bag probably got left. Best part, they weren't reprimanded. Supervisors say it was an honest mistake. So...to just point out a few keys things about this story. What they think happened...as SIX MONTHS AGO, this cocaine was lost during a training exercise...and it wasn't realized until just now. Also, only one out of the three cops there was certified to handle it...but that one (mmm, a lady cop) was the person called to a scene...leaving behind two long-time veteran cops (who still weren't certified to handle drugs for whatever reason) with two K-9 officers...in a hotel room (or parking lot or rental car) and a few lines...er, grams of cocaine...waiting for the lady cop to come back. What exactly were they supposed to do in the meantime? What kind of a call was she called on? And when she did come back, the cops had lost control and the dogs were running things. Needless to say, there's a lot of holes in this story...and sure, it's only two grams...but if it were two kilos, then what? Oopsy? I know if I'm ever found with two grams (not sure why that'd ever happen) then I'm going to try to remember this story. "Maybe it was left in this seedy motel room during a training exercise." "Not likely...but what about this woman you're with? She's obviously a prostitute." "HEY!!! That's my girlfriend...ugh, Carmen you're talking about." "According to her ID, her name is Rachel." "B**ch, you lied to me!!! How could you?" Sigh...why does every story I tell start with something funny...and then end with me being arrested in a motel room with hookers & blow? Not really sure if that's an episode of Cops or Cheaters though. They both have their moments...er, so I'm told.
Cheaters Get Whipped? - Most Bruneians want husbands who cheat on their wives to be whipped, according to a recent survey in the Muslim-majority country. The survey, conducted by website brudirect (www.brudirect.com), found that 76% of 272 respondents said men should be whipped for having affairs, while only 55% said unfaithful wives should receive the same punishment. "The result of the survey is an indication of the pent-up feelings that women harbor against irresponsible men," an unnamed social worker from Brunei was quoted as saying on the website. The oil-rich state of Brunei, located on Borneo Island, has a population of almost 400,000 of which 66% are Muslim. So what do you think? Should unfaithful spouses be physically punished? Just husbands? Just wives? Honestly, in this instance, I don't know if it's just the pent-up feelings that women harbor against irresponsible men...or maybe that women are just evil & unforgiving in matters of the heart. I'm not a Bruneian scientist (at least that I know of). By the way, you know I just wrote that to try to get a response out of you ladies...so please, don't let me down. You know I love your way...everyday. I'll even start. I personally believe in the sanctity of marriage...so yeah, I'm down with a little physical punishment for cheaters...but then again, some people pay good money to be whipped. I'll tell ya, one industry that I'm sure hasn't been horribly effected by this economic recession is the Guild Of Domantrixes & Sadomasochists (GODS). I don't know though. What do you think?
In the meantime, on a completely different note, I'm going to spend the weekend with my family and enjoying my niece's 3rd birthday party. I'll be sure to have pictures of the little cutie...and probably her little brother too. It should be awesome. Have a great weekend everybody!!!
No update on the job front in the past few days...but hey, I'm still optimistic. The Wingman stopped by on short notice last night and we had dinner at Winger's (they have some pretty good wings) and watched some "Californication" and we've realized that the show's gimmick is David Duchovny having sex with a different hot chick every episode (one episode was questionable, it needed some elaboration because it was an ex-girlfriend from a previous episode) but we're pretty convinced that his contract for that show states that fact and that there must be at least two references to him having a gigantic penis per show. Pretty uneventful evening other than that. The city shuts down after 9 PM and the gentlemen's clubs suck balls (the bad way) here in Utah anyway. Seriously, you get more at a dance club. That's why the drinks are more expensive. Now you know the drill. No need to thank me. Go to Vegas. Also, on a little side note, apparently my Wingman stumbled upon an erotic short story that I wrote one night when I couldn't sleep on my laptop...and he thinks that I might've missed my calling. I may have to look into a little side career as a smut novelist / sex addict like David Duchovny's character...with different neuroses. Anyway, I'll keep you posted on that too. Here's some news...
This Week in Celebrity Hair - A pile of hair believed snipped from Elvis Presley when he joined the U.S. Army in 1958 sold for $18,300 on Sunday, according to a Chicago auction house. The King's hair was one of about 200 items of Elvis memorabilia collected by the late Gary Pepper, who was the president of the Tankers Fan Club set up for Elvis fans. The top price of $62,800 was paid for a cream collared cotton shirt with the monogram EP that came with a magazine showing the King wearing the shirt (or at least one similar, wink wink). It had been expected to sell for between $2,000 and $4,000. A red ultrasuede shirt, which was also expected to sell for between $2,000 and $4,000, and was also believed to have been worn by Elvis sold for $34,000. Chicago-based Leslie Hindman Auctioneers posted the results of the auction on its website, saying the lot of hair sold for $18,300 which topped the expected price of between $8,000 and $12,000. All prices on its website included the buyer's premium. The auction house said the hair was given to Pepper to mail to Presley fans. No DNA test was carried out on the hair but the auctioneer quoted "an expert in celebrity hair authentication," John Reznikoff, saying it matched the Elvis hair he has in his collection (dark & highly stylized?). No details of the winning bidder were immediately available. Elvis died (yes, he did, deal with it) in 1977 at the age of 42. That's right. Over eighteen grand for a lock of hair...that may or may not really be that of the King. That's even more appalling than the fully-loaded Mercedes S-Class for a cotton shirt. At least with that you can wear it and stay warm. I guess when Cloning's a big thing again the hair might come in handy...but until then some Elvis fan just has entirely too much money to spend. I'd hate for this to happen...
Celebrity Hair: Part 2 - A Cleveland museum has learned that what it thought was a lock of hair from aviation heroine Amelia Earhart...is just thread. A group looking for DNA evidence of the pioneer aviator on a Pacific island recently asked the International Women's Air and Space Museum for a sample of the "hair" for comparison. Museum executive director Toni Mullee says an analysis determined the specimen was thread that looked like hair. Mullee says the museum acquired the artifact 20 years ago from the Smithsonian Institution, which had gotten it from a Pennsylvania man. The museum has had it on exhibit next to a book with an anecdote about a White House maid who saved some Earhart hair from a wastebasket. Mullee says the thread will stay on display, with a full explanation. Probably ending with "so...enjoy this piece of string...that may be from a wastebasket in the White House...or from the pocket of a snake oil salesman from Scranton...or it may have something to do with Amelia Earhart. We don't know. It's part of the Mystery that is History." That's like the Elvis fan that bought the lock of hair finding out it's a chimpanzee's ass clippings from a local zoo.One The Next Episode of Cops - Where's the video footage on this one? Police in Naples are on the lookout for cocaine. Somehow, they lost their stash. A 2-gram packet was discovered missing this summer from a narcotics kit used in training. Two officers lost it in April...but they're unsure where. It could've been the police parking lot...or an airport rental car, but the likely spot was a hotel (yeah, that's where I lose my blow too). The veteran pair checked out the kit to train their police dogs, but the one who usually handles the drugs was called to a scene. By the time she returned, the dogs were energetic and destroying the room (maybe they found something left in the room from the night before?). The officers said they were focusing more on straightening up the hotel room than collecting the drugs, so the bag probably got left. Best part, they weren't reprimanded. Supervisors say it was an honest mistake. So...to just point out a few keys things about this story. What they think happened...as SIX MONTHS AGO, this cocaine was lost during a training exercise...and it wasn't realized until just now. Also, only one out of the three cops there was certified to handle it...but that one (mmm, a lady cop) was the person called to a scene...leaving behind two long-time veteran cops (who still weren't certified to handle drugs for whatever reason) with two K-9 officers...in a hotel room (or parking lot or rental car) and a few lines...er, grams of cocaine...waiting for the lady cop to come back. What exactly were they supposed to do in the meantime? What kind of a call was she called on? And when she did come back, the cops had lost control and the dogs were running things. Needless to say, there's a lot of holes in this story...and sure, it's only two grams...but if it were two kilos, then what? Oopsy? I know if I'm ever found with two grams (not sure why that'd ever happen) then I'm going to try to remember this story. "Maybe it was left in this seedy motel room during a training exercise." "Not likely...but what about this woman you're with? She's obviously a prostitute." "HEY!!! That's my girlfriend...ugh, Carmen you're talking about." "According to her ID, her name is Rachel." "B**ch, you lied to me!!! How could you?" Sigh...why does every story I tell start with something funny...and then end with me being arrested in a motel room with hookers & blow? Not really sure if that's an episode of Cops or Cheaters though. They both have their moments...er, so I'm told.
Cheaters Get Whipped? - Most Bruneians want husbands who cheat on their wives to be whipped, according to a recent survey in the Muslim-majority country. The survey, conducted by website brudirect (www.brudirect.com), found that 76% of 272 respondents said men should be whipped for having affairs, while only 55% said unfaithful wives should receive the same punishment. "The result of the survey is an indication of the pent-up feelings that women harbor against irresponsible men," an unnamed social worker from Brunei was quoted as saying on the website. The oil-rich state of Brunei, located on Borneo Island, has a population of almost 400,000 of which 66% are Muslim. So what do you think? Should unfaithful spouses be physically punished? Just husbands? Just wives? Honestly, in this instance, I don't know if it's just the pent-up feelings that women harbor against irresponsible men...or maybe that women are just evil & unforgiving in matters of the heart. I'm not a Bruneian scientist (at least that I know of). By the way, you know I just wrote that to try to get a response out of you ladies...so please, don't let me down. You know I love your way...everyday. I'll even start. I personally believe in the sanctity of marriage...so yeah, I'm down with a little physical punishment for cheaters...but then again, some people pay good money to be whipped. I'll tell ya, one industry that I'm sure hasn't been horribly effected by this economic recession is the Guild Of Domantrixes & Sadomasochists (GODS). I don't know though. What do you think?In the meantime, on a completely different note, I'm going to spend the weekend with my family and enjoying my niece's 3rd birthday party. I'll be sure to have pictures of the little cutie...and probably her little brother too. It should be awesome. Have a great weekend everybody!!!
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