Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
So...some mildly disheartening news on the Kairi situation...but nothing that wasn't as expected thanks to the clusterf**k that is the Utah Legal System...but there's another thing that I didn't really think of until last night. I talked with my brother...and he told me about my nephew Vinny. He said that he's been looking all around for his big sister and asking about her...and then I was thinking about it...and who is the one person that he's been around every single day since birth? His dad? Not quite. His grandma? Close. His bad-ass uncle? Not at all. His crack whore birth giver? F**k no. Who then? His big sister. No matter where he has been, she has been right there with him...and now, she's off with that C-word somewhere. Apparently Vinny's been really sad and kinda lazy these past few days...and my brother's been trying to cheer him up...but obviously he hasn't been in the best of moods. I may not have helped things either last night.
So...some mildly disheartening news on the Kairi situation...but nothing that wasn't as expected thanks to the clusterf**k that is the Utah Legal System...but there's another thing that I didn't really think of until last night. I talked with my brother...and he told me about my nephew Vinny. He said that he's been looking all around for his big sister and asking about her...and then I was thinking about it...and who is the one person that he's been around every single day since birth? His dad? Not quite. His grandma? Close. His bad-ass uncle? Not at all. His crack whore birth giver? F**k no. Who then? His big sister. No matter where he has been, she has been right there with him...and now, she's off with that C-word somewhere. Apparently Vinny's been really sad and kinda lazy these past few days...and my brother's been trying to cheer him up...but obviously he hasn't been in the best of moods. I may not have helped things either last night.
For the first few minutes, I was my usual sympathetic self...because I know that it's just an overall sh*tty situation (like since he got back with her over three years ago) but after a few, he made a comment like, "I just never thought that she would do something like this to me." I probably should've thrown on the frontal lobe brakes and quoted some cheesy line from a chick flick or something to ease his broken heart...but instead, in typical big brother fashion, my response was "REALLY? Really Kiel? You never thought that? Not once? Never ever? Really? Come on man, you can be honest with me. I'm your brother." Silence. "Not once? In all the times that you talked to me... Mom... Dad... Isaiah... The minister... Your doctor... That guy in the mirror... You never ONCE thought that she would do something like this? Leave you? Go back to being just like her mother when things got tough? Break your heart? Not once? Ever?" Silence. "Well, try not to worry about it dude. We've got your back...and we're going to get her back somehow. You just know with this legal bullsh*t that it's never easy, just or right. Especially if you have a penis...and we have a lot of that, right?" We'll see if that really cheered him up or not...but yeah, it's been a rough few days. I'm just hoping that any minute Karma will shove a pineapple up someone's ass. Luckily, I have the news to cheer me up...with stories of absolute craziness...
Saudis are Crazy - Speaking of horrible legal systems in questionable holy lands that don't understand the concept of separation of church & state, a Saudi court has sentenced a man to five years in jail AND 1,000 lashes for boasting about his sexual exploits on television (Charlie Sheen?), in a case that has divided public opinion in the conservative Islamic kingdom. Abdul-Jawad, a divorced father of four, was arrested in August after discussing his premarital sexual encounters, showing off his pick-up techniques and displaying some sex toys and lubricants on a Lebanese TV program. His comments caused a public outcry in Saudi Arabia (so...not even Lebanon?), where the religious elite has vast powers over society and religious police enforce the segregation of men and women in public. King Abdullah has begun to reform education and the judiciary in recent years, partly to discourage Islamic militancy. But he faces resistance from clerics and conservative princes and analysts say the case gives fresh momentum to some clerics' calls for strict curbs on social freedoms. Three of Abdul-Jawad's friends who appeared on the Lebanese Broadcasting Corporation (LBC) were sentenced to two years in jail and 300 lashes each. LBC is a popular channel in Saudi Arabia, one of the world's most conservative societies, and many Saudis tune into its Western-style entertainment programs and talk shows (but apparently without the sexual references or adult situations). Abdul-Jawad, 32, spoke from his bedroom on an episode of "In Bold Red." He was shown driving his red convertible to a shopping mall where he said he used his mobile phone to pick up girls ("Look, is like phone but there's no cord. Want make beast with two backs?). A court official said that, on top of the lashings and jail sentence, Abdul-Jawad's phone and car would be confiscated and he would be banned from traveling after completing his term. "Dont push! Don't push," a distressed Abdul-Jawad yelled as he struggled in the grasp of two policemen escorting him out of the judge's office in Jeddah Wednesday. Lawyers say Abdul-Jawad could have been given the death penalty (REALLY?). Judges, who are clerics of Saudi Arabia's strict Wahhabi school of Islam, have wide powers of discretion. Abdul-Jawad's brother (who didn't even want to be named & therefore associated with him) said it would be difficult for him to be accepted back into society. "Now he has been fired from his job and after his jail term it won't be possible for him to get a job in government or the private sector because he was charged with a case of moral indecency." Yeah. Bat crackers crazy, right? And this is the stuff that they let leak out into the public eye. F**king crazy. Note to self: Do not go within three countries of the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia...because apparently their cleric judges have jurisdiction over ALL that Islam touches. Also, key to picking up overly conservative women is through my cell phone, not my temple recommend as previously theorized. Hmm, maybe it was the being on TV that did it. The best part about this whole thing...is what was going on simultaneously in Bangkok of all places...
Saudi Financial Aid? - There are plenty of needy countries at the U.N. climate talks in Bangkok that make the case they need financial assistance to adapt to the impacts of global warming...and then there are the Saudis. Saudi Arabia has led a quiet campaign during these and other negotiations, demanding behind closed doors that oil-producing nations get special financial assistance if a new climate pact calls for substantial reductions in the use of fossil fuels. That campaign comes despite an International Energy Agency report released this week showing that OPEC revenues would still increase $23 trillion between 2008 and 2030 (a fourfold increase compared to the period from 1985 to 2007) if countries agree to significantly slash emissions and thereby cut their use of oil. That is the limit most countries agree is needed to avoid the worst impacts of climate change. The head of the Saudi delegation Mohammad S. Al Sabban dismissed the IEA figures as "biased" and said OPEC's own calculations (using an abacus?) showed that Saudi Arabia would lose $19 billion a year starting in 2012 under a new climate pact (and that doesn't include the lashes). The region would lose much more, he said. "We are among the economically vulnerable countries," Al Sabban told The Associated Press on the sidelines of the talks ahead of negotiations in Copenhagen in December for a treaty to replace the Kyoto Protocol, which expires in 2012. "This is very serious for us. We are in the process of diversifying our economy but this will take a long time. We don't have too many resources." Saudi Arabia, which sits atop the world's largest proven oil reserves, is seeing economic growth slide because of fallout from the global meltdown (ugh...I'm sorry economic GROWTH slide? So they're still growing...and we're supposed to feel sorry?) but experts still expect the country, flush with cash from oil's earlier price spike last year, to be better able than other nations to cope with the current crisis. Al Sabban accused Western nations of pursuing an agenda against oil producers, under the guise of protecting the planet (actually, it's both). "Many politicians in the Western world think these climate change negotiations and the new agreement will provide them with a golden opportunity to reduce their dependence on imported oil. That means you will transfer the burden to developing countries, especially to those highly dependent on the exploitation of oil." Al Sabban said his country wanted a new deal and was not impeding progress in talks as some activists have claimed. An Arab environmental group IndyACT and the environmental group Germanwatch released a report Thursday accusing Saudi Arabia of blocking key elements of the negotiations. Among their tactics, the groups said, was slowing negotiations by insisting that the economic woes of oil producers be included in the text. "Despite the variability in the region, the current Arab position is mainly focused around protecting the oil trade rather than saving the planet form the adverse impacts of climate change," said Wael Hmaidan, the executive director of IndyACT. Most countries have agreed that any new pact should include provisions to avoid temperature increases of more than 3.6 degrees Fahrenheit (2 degrees Celsius) above preindustrial levels — the threshold at which most scientists say serious climate change will ensue. So there you go. Sure, I may seem a little biased in the situation...but I think that it's just crazy. However, I'm not one to just point out the faults of other nations. We have a bit of an identity crisis too.
Obama Wins Noble Peace Prize - I repeat, United States President Barack Obama won the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize on Friday in a stunning decision designed to build momentum behind his initiatives to reduce nuclear arms, ease tensions with the Muslim world and stress diplomacy and cooperation rather than unilateralism. Obama said he was surprised and deeply humbled by the honor, and planned to travel to Oslo to accept the prize. "I do not feel that I deserve to be in the company of so many transformative figures that have been honored by this prize. I will accept this award as a call to action, a call for all nations to confront the challenges of the 21st century." Many observers were shocked by the unexpected choice so early in the Obama presidency, which began less than two weeks before the February 1st nomination deadline and has yet to yield concrete achievements in peacemaking. Some around the world objected to the choice of Obama, who still oversees wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and has launched deadly counter-terror strikes in Pakistan and Somalia (don't forget about Iran, North Korea, Martians and whatever else we get asked to take care of or they don't let us know about). Obama said he was working to end the war in Iraq and "to confront a ruthless adversary that directly threatens the American people and our allies" in Afghanistan. Members of the Norwegian Nobel Committee said their choice could be seen as an early vote of confidence in Obama intended to build global support for his policies. They lauded the change in global mood wrought by Obama's calls for peace and cooperation, and praised his pledges to reduce the world stock of nuclear arms, ease American conflicts with Muslim nations and strengthen the U.S. role in combating climate change. "Obama has as President created a new climate in international politics," the citation read, in part. "Multilateral diplomacy has regained a central position, with emphasis on the role that the United Nations and other international institutions can play. Dialogue and negotiations are preferred as instruments for resolving even the most difficult international conflicts." God, I hope so. Wouldn't world peace across the entire planet Earth be sweet? Yeah, I think so too. Oh and in other news...
We Bombed the MOON!!! - On the same day that an American President won the Nobel Peace Prize, NASA blasted the surface of the moon with two spacecraft on Friday in a dramatic bid to find water on the lunar surface, an experiment that could be a stepping stone to a permanent moon base. At 1131 GMT the agency hurtled a rocket into the moon's Cabeus crater, near the southern pole, at around 5,600 miles (9,000 kilometers) per hour, followed four minutes later by a shepherding spacecraft equipped with cameras to record the impact (why have a crash landing if you can't videotape it?). The space agency said the blasts successfully kicked up a plume of lunar dirt (no sh*t) that was captured by sensitive devices on board the trailing LCROSS craft. "Everything really worked very well, the spacecraft flew perfect, the instruments performed better than expected in some cases, We got interesting results," a NASA statement said. The agency will now set about the tricky task on sifting and analyzing the 350 tons of dirt thrown up by the impact. Cameras mounted on the one ton shepherding spacecraft failed to beam live footage of the initial impact as the craft flew through the debris plume (aaaaah...) but NASA said the experiment went well despite the hitch. During the experiment, grainy thermal images carried on the US space agency's television station showed colder blue sites and warmer red sites on the moon's surface. The mission's website reads, "The LCROSS science team is making their preliminary assessment of approximately four minutes of data collected from the LCROSS Spacecraft. Observatories involved in the LCROSS Observation Campaign are reporting in. We don't anticipate anything about presence or absence of water immediately. It's going to take us some time," cautioned Anthony Colaprete, project scientist and principal investigator for the $79 MILLION LCROSS mission, which is also a preparatory mission for the Constellation program, which aims to send Americans back to the moon by 2020 (so fifty years after we already did that? Has anybody seen Moonraker, by the way?). Colaprete said it would take several days for analysts to evaluate the data and several weeks to determine whether and how much hydrogen-bearing compounds were found...but the important thing is...that we blew up the moon to see if water would come out because other experiments & analysis just weren't getting the job done. God bless America!!! Land of the Free...and Home of the Ballsy!!! "Thank you all for this incredible honor. Oh, and by the way, you should all check out the moon tonight. It's gonna look...a little different. Peace, I'm Audi." That'll probably never happen until I'm elected as a public official...but still, I like to think about it once in a while.
That'll do it for today. The world is a crazy place...but that's why there's people like me around to try to keep it all in perspective. Have a great weekend everybody!!! Please pray for my little niece.
Saudis are Crazy - Speaking of horrible legal systems in questionable holy lands that don't understand the concept of separation of church & state, a Saudi court has sentenced a man to five years in jail AND 1,000 lashes for boasting about his sexual exploits on television (Charlie Sheen?), in a case that has divided public opinion in the conservative Islamic kingdom. Abdul-Jawad, a divorced father of four, was arrested in August after discussing his premarital sexual encounters, showing off his pick-up techniques and displaying some sex toys and lubricants on a Lebanese TV program. His comments caused a public outcry in Saudi Arabia (so...not even Lebanon?), where the religious elite has vast powers over society and religious police enforce the segregation of men and women in public. King Abdullah has begun to reform education and the judiciary in recent years, partly to discourage Islamic militancy. But he faces resistance from clerics and conservative princes and analysts say the case gives fresh momentum to some clerics' calls for strict curbs on social freedoms. Three of Abdul-Jawad's friends who appeared on the Lebanese Broadcasting Corporation (LBC) were sentenced to two years in jail and 300 lashes each. LBC is a popular channel in Saudi Arabia, one of the world's most conservative societies, and many Saudis tune into its Western-style entertainment programs and talk shows (but apparently without the sexual references or adult situations). Abdul-Jawad, 32, spoke from his bedroom on an episode of "In Bold Red." He was shown driving his red convertible to a shopping mall where he said he used his mobile phone to pick up girls ("Look, is like phone but there's no cord. Want make beast with two backs?). A court official said that, on top of the lashings and jail sentence, Abdul-Jawad's phone and car would be confiscated and he would be banned from traveling after completing his term. "Dont push! Don't push," a distressed Abdul-Jawad yelled as he struggled in the grasp of two policemen escorting him out of the judge's office in Jeddah Wednesday. Lawyers say Abdul-Jawad could have been given the death penalty (REALLY?). Judges, who are clerics of Saudi Arabia's strict Wahhabi school of Islam, have wide powers of discretion. Abdul-Jawad's brother (who didn't even want to be named & therefore associated with him) said it would be difficult for him to be accepted back into society. "Now he has been fired from his job and after his jail term it won't be possible for him to get a job in government or the private sector because he was charged with a case of moral indecency." Yeah. Bat crackers crazy, right? And this is the stuff that they let leak out into the public eye. F**king crazy. Note to self: Do not go within three countries of the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia...because apparently their cleric judges have jurisdiction over ALL that Islam touches. Also, key to picking up overly conservative women is through my cell phone, not my temple recommend as previously theorized. Hmm, maybe it was the being on TV that did it. The best part about this whole thing...is what was going on simultaneously in Bangkok of all places...
Saudi Financial Aid? - There are plenty of needy countries at the U.N. climate talks in Bangkok that make the case they need financial assistance to adapt to the impacts of global warming...and then there are the Saudis. Saudi Arabia has led a quiet campaign during these and other negotiations, demanding behind closed doors that oil-producing nations get special financial assistance if a new climate pact calls for substantial reductions in the use of fossil fuels. That campaign comes despite an International Energy Agency report released this week showing that OPEC revenues would still increase $23 trillion between 2008 and 2030 (a fourfold increase compared to the period from 1985 to 2007) if countries agree to significantly slash emissions and thereby cut their use of oil. That is the limit most countries agree is needed to avoid the worst impacts of climate change. The head of the Saudi delegation Mohammad S. Al Sabban dismissed the IEA figures as "biased" and said OPEC's own calculations (using an abacus?) showed that Saudi Arabia would lose $19 billion a year starting in 2012 under a new climate pact (and that doesn't include the lashes). The region would lose much more, he said. "We are among the economically vulnerable countries," Al Sabban told The Associated Press on the sidelines of the talks ahead of negotiations in Copenhagen in December for a treaty to replace the Kyoto Protocol, which expires in 2012. "This is very serious for us. We are in the process of diversifying our economy but this will take a long time. We don't have too many resources." Saudi Arabia, which sits atop the world's largest proven oil reserves, is seeing economic growth slide because of fallout from the global meltdown (ugh...I'm sorry economic GROWTH slide? So they're still growing...and we're supposed to feel sorry?) but experts still expect the country, flush with cash from oil's earlier price spike last year, to be better able than other nations to cope with the current crisis. Al Sabban accused Western nations of pursuing an agenda against oil producers, under the guise of protecting the planet (actually, it's both). "Many politicians in the Western world think these climate change negotiations and the new agreement will provide them with a golden opportunity to reduce their dependence on imported oil. That means you will transfer the burden to developing countries, especially to those highly dependent on the exploitation of oil." Al Sabban said his country wanted a new deal and was not impeding progress in talks as some activists have claimed. An Arab environmental group IndyACT and the environmental group Germanwatch released a report Thursday accusing Saudi Arabia of blocking key elements of the negotiations. Among their tactics, the groups said, was slowing negotiations by insisting that the economic woes of oil producers be included in the text. "Despite the variability in the region, the current Arab position is mainly focused around protecting the oil trade rather than saving the planet form the adverse impacts of climate change," said Wael Hmaidan, the executive director of IndyACT. Most countries have agreed that any new pact should include provisions to avoid temperature increases of more than 3.6 degrees Fahrenheit (2 degrees Celsius) above preindustrial levels — the threshold at which most scientists say serious climate change will ensue. So there you go. Sure, I may seem a little biased in the situation...but I think that it's just crazy. However, I'm not one to just point out the faults of other nations. We have a bit of an identity crisis too.
Obama Wins Noble Peace Prize - I repeat, United States President Barack Obama won the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize on Friday in a stunning decision designed to build momentum behind his initiatives to reduce nuclear arms, ease tensions with the Muslim world and stress diplomacy and cooperation rather than unilateralism. Obama said he was surprised and deeply humbled by the honor, and planned to travel to Oslo to accept the prize. "I do not feel that I deserve to be in the company of so many transformative figures that have been honored by this prize. I will accept this award as a call to action, a call for all nations to confront the challenges of the 21st century." Many observers were shocked by the unexpected choice so early in the Obama presidency, which began less than two weeks before the February 1st nomination deadline and has yet to yield concrete achievements in peacemaking. Some around the world objected to the choice of Obama, who still oversees wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and has launched deadly counter-terror strikes in Pakistan and Somalia (don't forget about Iran, North Korea, Martians and whatever else we get asked to take care of or they don't let us know about). Obama said he was working to end the war in Iraq and "to confront a ruthless adversary that directly threatens the American people and our allies" in Afghanistan. Members of the Norwegian Nobel Committee said their choice could be seen as an early vote of confidence in Obama intended to build global support for his policies. They lauded the change in global mood wrought by Obama's calls for peace and cooperation, and praised his pledges to reduce the world stock of nuclear arms, ease American conflicts with Muslim nations and strengthen the U.S. role in combating climate change. "Obama has as President created a new climate in international politics," the citation read, in part. "Multilateral diplomacy has regained a central position, with emphasis on the role that the United Nations and other international institutions can play. Dialogue and negotiations are preferred as instruments for resolving even the most difficult international conflicts." God, I hope so. Wouldn't world peace across the entire planet Earth be sweet? Yeah, I think so too. Oh and in other news...
We Bombed the MOON!!! - On the same day that an American President won the Nobel Peace Prize, NASA blasted the surface of the moon with two spacecraft on Friday in a dramatic bid to find water on the lunar surface, an experiment that could be a stepping stone to a permanent moon base. At 1131 GMT the agency hurtled a rocket into the moon's Cabeus crater, near the southern pole, at around 5,600 miles (9,000 kilometers) per hour, followed four minutes later by a shepherding spacecraft equipped with cameras to record the impact (why have a crash landing if you can't videotape it?). The space agency said the blasts successfully kicked up a plume of lunar dirt (no sh*t) that was captured by sensitive devices on board the trailing LCROSS craft. "Everything really worked very well, the spacecraft flew perfect, the instruments performed better than expected in some cases, We got interesting results," a NASA statement said. The agency will now set about the tricky task on sifting and analyzing the 350 tons of dirt thrown up by the impact. Cameras mounted on the one ton shepherding spacecraft failed to beam live footage of the initial impact as the craft flew through the debris plume (aaaaah...) but NASA said the experiment went well despite the hitch. During the experiment, grainy thermal images carried on the US space agency's television station showed colder blue sites and warmer red sites on the moon's surface. The mission's website reads, "The LCROSS science team is making their preliminary assessment of approximately four minutes of data collected from the LCROSS Spacecraft. Observatories involved in the LCROSS Observation Campaign are reporting in. We don't anticipate anything about presence or absence of water immediately. It's going to take us some time," cautioned Anthony Colaprete, project scientist and principal investigator for the $79 MILLION LCROSS mission, which is also a preparatory mission for the Constellation program, which aims to send Americans back to the moon by 2020 (so fifty years after we already did that? Has anybody seen Moonraker, by the way?). Colaprete said it would take several days for analysts to evaluate the data and several weeks to determine whether and how much hydrogen-bearing compounds were found...but the important thing is...that we blew up the moon to see if water would come out because other experiments & analysis just weren't getting the job done. God bless America!!! Land of the Free...and Home of the Ballsy!!! "Thank you all for this incredible honor. Oh, and by the way, you should all check out the moon tonight. It's gonna look...a little different. Peace, I'm Audi." That'll probably never happen until I'm elected as a public official...but still, I like to think about it once in a while.That'll do it for today. The world is a crazy place...but that's why there's people like me around to try to keep it all in perspective. Have a great weekend everybody!!! Please pray for my little niece.
Don't let her turn into her mother...
The really sad thing is...this is, honest to God,
the best picture that I have of the bitch.
Have a great weekend everybody!!! We love you, Kairi.
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